wildwolf1
You can be greater than anything that can happen to you!
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Last Seen: 2/1/2008 8:13:30 PM
I am just me.
Age: 38
Gender: F
Location: Here, of course
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Rants, Swears & @#$%&*!
Just Because
Wanderings of a Lost Mind
Don't think the police help???
Beer for my Horses
Rants, Swears & @#$%&*!
Just Because
Wanderings of a Lost Mind
Don't think the police help???
Beer for my Horses
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Just Because: Once upon a time in a land far far away....
Posted 1/26/2008 9:38:53 PM
Why do we as a society find scandal and rumors so interesting? and why do we feel the need to spread and share things that we good and well know aren't true?
What is this insatiable urge to see someone else hurt and persecuted in the public? We see this happen constantly in the media; on the news the entertainment shows etc...I for one am so exhaustingly tired of hearing about brittney spears I could scream at just repeating her name myself.
We have all been victims of vicious rumors at one time or another in our lives. And if for some reaosn you think that this hasn't happened to you; you either weren't paying attention or some "kind hearted" person wasn't nice enough to enlighten you. I find this streak in mankind to be most distasteful and uncivilized but then we are a civilized people..aren't we? (for those of you not paying attention that was a rhetorical question and sarcastic as hell)
I simply do not understand the urge that we as mankind have to simply lie about another person and something that they may or may not have done, said etc etc. What does it matter to someone else what someone else does or says that doesn't affect them in anyway other than to stir stuff up? Where is the thrill in that? What do you as the instigator take away from the experience? Is there truly a sense of satisfaction from watching another hurt from your words?
I gotta tell you there are some folks out there I would seriously like to see nothing better than for them to squirm like no other, but not like that. There is a saying here, "give someone enough rope and sooner or later they will hang themselves with it". Granted a lil grisly but true nonetheless. We don't have to help them along by trashing them in public.
Folks fairy tales and rumors do nothing more than create a web of lies that keep piling and piling until not only the person that your talking about gets hurt, but so do you. Eventually someone will find the "horses mouth" and come to it. I personally have never had a problem with going straight to the source, but some people aren't that brave. Its easier to sit back and talk shit while hiding behind someone else's shirt tales.
I guess once upon a time in a land far far away we had a common respect for one another, it didn't mean that we always agreed or even liked each other it simply meant that just because we were neighbors we didn't have to be neighborly..you stay outta my yard and i'll damn sure stay out of yours.
Posted 1/26/2008 9:38:53 PM
Why do we as a society find scandal and rumors so interesting? and why do we feel the need to spread and share things that we good and well know aren't true?
What is this insatiable urge to see someone else hurt and persecuted in the public? We see this happen constantly in the media; on the news the entertainment shows etc...I for one am so exhaustingly tired of hearing about brittney spears I could scream at just repeating her name myself.
We have all been victims of vicious rumors at one time or another in our lives. And if for some reaosn you think that this hasn't happened to you; you either weren't paying attention or some "kind hearted" person wasn't nice enough to enlighten you. I find this streak in mankind to be most distasteful and uncivilized but then we are a civilized people..aren't we? (for those of you not paying attention that was a rhetorical question and sarcastic as hell)
I simply do not understand the urge that we as mankind have to simply lie about another person and something that they may or may not have done, said etc etc. What does it matter to someone else what someone else does or says that doesn't affect them in anyway other than to stir stuff up? Where is the thrill in that? What do you as the instigator take away from the experience? Is there truly a sense of satisfaction from watching another hurt from your words?
I gotta tell you there are some folks out there I would seriously like to see nothing better than for them to squirm like no other, but not like that. There is a saying here, "give someone enough rope and sooner or later they will hang themselves with it". Granted a lil grisly but true nonetheless. We don't have to help them along by trashing them in public.
Folks fairy tales and rumors do nothing more than create a web of lies that keep piling and piling until not only the person that your talking about gets hurt, but so do you. Eventually someone will find the "horses mouth" and come to it. I personally have never had a problem with going straight to the source, but some people aren't that brave. Its easier to sit back and talk shit while hiding behind someone else's shirt tales.
I guess once upon a time in a land far far away we had a common respect for one another, it didn't mean that we always agreed or even liked each other it simply meant that just because we were neighbors we didn't have to be neighborly..you stay outta my yard and i'll damn sure stay out of yours.
Wanderings of a Lost Mind: Amazingly simple home remedies...LOL!
Posted 1/20/2008 1:00:26 AM
A friend sent these to me and I just had to share all the fabulous practical tips with my friends here.
1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply
pour a cup of boiling water down your throat.
Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about
lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply
cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus
reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm
clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large
dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40
and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use
the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you
get to know them.
9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've
got an electrical problem.
Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
Posted 1/20/2008 1:00:26 AM
A friend sent these to me and I just had to share all the fabulous practical tips with my friends here.
1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply
pour a cup of boiling water down your throat.
Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about
lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply
cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus
reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm
clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large
dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40
and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use
the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you
get to know them.
9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've
got an electrical problem.
Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
Wanderings of a Lost Mind: It's not even a full moon!!!
Posted 1/15/2008 12:58:09 PM
I am exhausted. This week has been full of drama and weirdness (as a friend put it). Needless to say this week, I earned my money at work.
I've been slammed each time I've gone in this past week and actually did a lil "throw ya hip out happy dance" when I left last night simply because for me its over for the next three days.
Some of you won't understand this analogy but
my job sometimes is like getting a tattoo. You sit in a chair all tensed up for hours waiting for it to be over and when it is, you feel like you just road the rollercoaster of a lifetime and never left the chair.
I spent the better part of my shift last night dealing with families trying to hurt each other. Husbands and wives, fathers to children, etc etc. At one point we had to call out the states helicopter to find one that took off, needless to say I am happy the rollercoaster ride is over for this week.
Don't get me wrong I like excitement as much as the next guy but I think I've met my quota for this week.
Posted 1/15/2008 12:58:09 PM
I am exhausted. This week has been full of drama and weirdness (as a friend put it). Needless to say this week, I earned my money at work.
I've been slammed each time I've gone in this past week and actually did a lil "throw ya hip out happy dance" when I left last night simply because for me its over for the next three days.
Some of you won't understand this analogy but
my job sometimes is like getting a tattoo. You sit in a chair all tensed up for hours waiting for it to be over and when it is, you feel like you just road the rollercoaster of a lifetime and never left the chair.
I spent the better part of my shift last night dealing with families trying to hurt each other. Husbands and wives, fathers to children, etc etc. At one point we had to call out the states helicopter to find one that took off, needless to say I am happy the rollercoaster ride is over for this week.
Don't get me wrong I like excitement as much as the next guy but I think I've met my quota for this week.
Wanderings of a Lost Mind: A soapbox, A dwi and karma
Posted 1/14/2008 1:18:06 AM
I realize that some of my posts are not quite as uplifting as others. My sincere apologies ahead of time as this one will not be any different. I look at it from this perspective, at times this place is kinda like therapy and you folks my therapist. At times I need to climb up on my soapbox, lay my burdens down so that the next day I can go back at the devil with an open mind and an open heart...
I know at some time in our lives either as teenagers or as adults or both we've all done "crazy" things that we look back at with wonder. We wonder how we're alive, how we didn't get arrested or simply wth were we thinking?? Irregardless we've all done crazy things at some point when for some reason our mind and body didn't meet up and agree that indeed we were not 10 ft tall and bulletproof as we may have prior thought, either from sheer stupidity or liquid/false courage of some kind.
Having said that let me back track a little. As some of you know over the past year I've had some issues with my oldest son. He's done some things that by all means were so very wrong, some hurtful and some down right dangerous to himself. He's created chaos, worry and anger but in the end he is a teenage boy who of course knows everything cuz we are stupid adults who were never teenagers and never walked in his shoes.
Earlier in the year, when everything fell out about what had happened to my son, a certain woman in our community who my family knows, also has a teenage son, approached me and my mother and advised us that my son drove like a maniac and was reckless and dangerous. She took our hands and patted them ever so "politely" and stated "I'm so glad that I don't have problems like this with my son" Well that comment would come back ten fold to her.
When everything did fall out with my son, it was also found out by us that her son was having "issues" as well. This was confirmed by a conversation that my mother had with his grandmother. Of course my mother and I discussed it but thats where the conversation ended.
Flash back to the present, in the wee hours of this morning. Her son just dropped of his girlfriend, he's been drinking and if what I understand is true, is headed to another party...he comes thru a curve and leaves the roadway. He's now going over a private drive, realizes he's off the roadway, over corrects..goes airborn...hits a utility pole and its over. Their son is gone.
There were comments made when they were notified that leave the impression they knew he had been drinking and let him drive none the less.
I do not wish this kind of thing on anyone. Just not anyone and folks, there are some folks..I simply do not think very highly of and still wouldn't wish this on them. I am a firm believer in Karma. And I know some of you do not believe in such things. It's all bunk. But I've seen it happen, i've seen it work. Karma is like the universe's consequences and we all know there is consequences for everything we do; good, bad and indifferent.
The maternal side of me feels like this is a horrible tragic thing that no soul should have to bear...the other side feels like its karma and a problem too long ignored at some point rears its ugly head and will plunge headlong into the abyss if you allow it. How do you stop something that you created and allowed to perpetuate? How do you float the river of denial without any oars? It's as tho Karma knocked on my door and said "grab your lawn chair and popcorn you have a ring side seat" and it wasn't fun to watch but you couldn't look away either.
Of course I am not sharing all the details with ya'll and won't. Some of it you simply don't want to know..but the point of it all is..it touches all of us. We're not invinsible. And if you turn a blind eye and float that boat without any thought to your destination or to that of your loved ones sooner or later your going to get off course and someone is going to suffer one way or another.
Take care of your loved ones, love them enough to be tough. Love them enough to say no. Love them enough to keep them alive. Love them enough to be the parent, love them enough to be that "good friend", love them enough to pay attention and try your best to keep them safe. So that there is a tomorrow to tell them "i love you".
Posted 1/14/2008 1:18:06 AM
I realize that some of my posts are not quite as uplifting as others. My sincere apologies ahead of time as this one will not be any different. I look at it from this perspective, at times this place is kinda like therapy and you folks my therapist. At times I need to climb up on my soapbox, lay my burdens down so that the next day I can go back at the devil with an open mind and an open heart...
I know at some time in our lives either as teenagers or as adults or both we've all done "crazy" things that we look back at with wonder. We wonder how we're alive, how we didn't get arrested or simply wth were we thinking?? Irregardless we've all done crazy things at some point when for some reason our mind and body didn't meet up and agree that indeed we were not 10 ft tall and bulletproof as we may have prior thought, either from sheer stupidity or liquid/false courage of some kind.
Having said that let me back track a little. As some of you know over the past year I've had some issues with my oldest son. He's done some things that by all means were so very wrong, some hurtful and some down right dangerous to himself. He's created chaos, worry and anger but in the end he is a teenage boy who of course knows everything cuz we are stupid adults who were never teenagers and never walked in his shoes.
Earlier in the year, when everything fell out about what had happened to my son, a certain woman in our community who my family knows, also has a teenage son, approached me and my mother and advised us that my son drove like a maniac and was reckless and dangerous. She took our hands and patted them ever so "politely" and stated "I'm so glad that I don't have problems like this with my son" Well that comment would come back ten fold to her.
When everything did fall out with my son, it was also found out by us that her son was having "issues" as well. This was confirmed by a conversation that my mother had with his grandmother. Of course my mother and I discussed it but thats where the conversation ended.
Flash back to the present, in the wee hours of this morning. Her son just dropped of his girlfriend, he's been drinking and if what I understand is true, is headed to another party...he comes thru a curve and leaves the roadway. He's now going over a private drive, realizes he's off the roadway, over corrects..goes airborn...hits a utility pole and its over. Their son is gone.
There were comments made when they were notified that leave the impression they knew he had been drinking and let him drive none the less.
I do not wish this kind of thing on anyone. Just not anyone and folks, there are some folks..I simply do not think very highly of and still wouldn't wish this on them. I am a firm believer in Karma. And I know some of you do not believe in such things. It's all bunk. But I've seen it happen, i've seen it work. Karma is like the universe's consequences and we all know there is consequences for everything we do; good, bad and indifferent.
The maternal side of me feels like this is a horrible tragic thing that no soul should have to bear...the other side feels like its karma and a problem too long ignored at some point rears its ugly head and will plunge headlong into the abyss if you allow it. How do you stop something that you created and allowed to perpetuate? How do you float the river of denial without any oars? It's as tho Karma knocked on my door and said "grab your lawn chair and popcorn you have a ring side seat" and it wasn't fun to watch but you couldn't look away either.
Of course I am not sharing all the details with ya'll and won't. Some of it you simply don't want to know..but the point of it all is..it touches all of us. We're not invinsible. And if you turn a blind eye and float that boat without any thought to your destination or to that of your loved ones sooner or later your going to get off course and someone is going to suffer one way or another.
Take care of your loved ones, love them enough to be tough. Love them enough to say no. Love them enough to keep them alive. Love them enough to be the parent, love them enough to be that "good friend", love them enough to pay attention and try your best to keep them safe. So that there is a tomorrow to tell them "i love you".
Just Because: A real life personal ad
Posted 1/9/2008 6:51:20 PM
I was reading our local paper and found this. I simply had to laugh and thought I'd share with all of you.-------------------------------------
Active, healthy, available 64 yo semi-retired veterinarian/rancher enjoys travel, live theater, normal rockwell, intimacy and challenges. Financially secure. You are too. (wth is this a must or is he gonna do it?)
Seeks available, long term, loving companion, height/weight proportionate, (he's 64 fgs!! i'm willing to bet that all of his "parts" aren't proportionate..gravity yanno)intelligent who has own interests and does not need or desire constant attention and non allergic to animals. I live with several. (duh veterinarian/rancher!)
Race not important, baggage is. (picky ain't he?)
Needs to know when to lead, when to follow and when to be silent. (ok that right there rules me out..and most of today's women I do believe)
Planning trip to Alaska in May and desire working companion (wasn't this a "loving" companion earlier?) who can shoot to kill the grizzly if necessary. (what grizzly fgs! isn't this the "follow" part???)
Must have valid passport or willing to obtain. (I hope he's not going to be using this any time soon as there seems to be a substantial wait time for these?)
If interested in platonic only, do not reply. (ok first it was loving, then it was working, now we're back to loving...hooker anyone?)
Then gives the authors name/address and a request for a recent photo as well.
All I can say is "wow"!!
Posted 1/9/2008 6:51:20 PM
I was reading our local paper and found this. I simply had to laugh and thought I'd share with all of you.-------------------------------------
Active, healthy, available 64 yo semi-retired veterinarian/rancher enjoys travel, live theater, normal rockwell, intimacy and challenges. Financially secure. You are too. (wth is this a must or is he gonna do it?)
Seeks available, long term, loving companion, height/weight proportionate, (he's 64 fgs!! i'm willing to bet that all of his "parts" aren't proportionate..gravity yanno)intelligent who has own interests and does not need or desire constant attention and non allergic to animals. I live with several. (duh veterinarian/rancher!)
Race not important, baggage is. (picky ain't he?)
Needs to know when to lead, when to follow and when to be silent. (ok that right there rules me out..and most of today's women I do believe)
Planning trip to Alaska in May and desire working companion (wasn't this a "loving" companion earlier?) who can shoot to kill the grizzly if necessary. (what grizzly fgs! isn't this the "follow" part???)
Must have valid passport or willing to obtain. (I hope he's not going to be using this any time soon as there seems to be a substantial wait time for these?)
If interested in platonic only, do not reply. (ok first it was loving, then it was working, now we're back to loving...hooker anyone?)
Then gives the authors name/address and a request for a recent photo as well.
All I can say is "wow"!!
Rants, Swears & @#$%&*!: Against my better judgement (and then some)
Posted 1/8/2008 4:51:01 AM
Ok it's 4:30 a.m. where I am, I meander into blog just to do some piddly editing and wth do I find??? some chics coochie staring at me!!!
FGS I know its late (even for moi) and I'm starting to get a lil cranky even with all the caffine and nicotine but dammit I didn't need to see that crap!!
If I wanted to see that I'd grab my mirror and find the nearest closet to hide in and .... well whatever!!!
Irregardless as much as I like you people..and I do, I don't think I want anyone sharing quite that much with me!!! and I PROMISE I will not share that much with you! PINKY SWEAR!!!
Posted 1/8/2008 4:51:01 AM
Ok it's 4:30 a.m. where I am, I meander into blog just to do some piddly editing and wth do I find??? some chics coochie staring at me!!!
FGS I know its late (even for moi) and I'm starting to get a lil cranky even with all the caffine and nicotine but dammit I didn't need to see that crap!!
If I wanted to see that I'd grab my mirror and find the nearest closet to hide in and .... well whatever!!!
Irregardless as much as I like you people..and I do, I don't think I want anyone sharing quite that much with me!!! and I PROMISE I will not share that much with you! PINKY SWEAR!!!
Don't think the police help???: Protect the Three
Posted 1/4/2008 11:32:44 PM
I felt compelled to share this one as well.
------------------------------------------------
Protecting the Three
I am the Officer, follow me
Preserving the peace is where I'll be
I am the torch that lights the way
In darkness my courage will pave a way
Leading the others, that is me
I am the Officer guiding the three
I am the Fire Fighter, follow me
Into the flames is where I will be
I am he who battles the beast
To protect that on which it would feast
Leading strength to the others, that is me
I am the Fire Fighter supporting the three
I am the Medic, follow me
Easing the pain is where I will be
I am the one who helps them survive
Lifting the fallen to keep them alive
Treating the others, that is me
I am the Medic healing the three
I am the Dispatcher, don't follow me
Agony and chaos is where I will be
Working in obscurity, this forgotten place
Not death, but insanity is the danger I face
Answering the call, that is me
I am the Dispatcher protecting the Three
Posted 1/4/2008 11:32:44 PM
I felt compelled to share this one as well.
------------------------------------------------
Protecting the Three
I am the Officer, follow me
Preserving the peace is where I'll be
I am the torch that lights the way
In darkness my courage will pave a way
Leading the others, that is me
I am the Officer guiding the three
I am the Fire Fighter, follow me
Into the flames is where I will be
I am he who battles the beast
To protect that on which it would feast
Leading strength to the others, that is me
I am the Fire Fighter supporting the three
I am the Medic, follow me
Easing the pain is where I will be
I am the one who helps them survive
Lifting the fallen to keep them alive
Treating the others, that is me
I am the Medic healing the three
I am the Dispatcher, don't follow me
Agony and chaos is where I will be
Working in obscurity, this forgotten place
Not death, but insanity is the danger I face
Answering the call, that is me
I am the Dispatcher protecting the Three
Don't think the police help???: A tribute to dispatchers
Posted 1/4/2008 11:28:45 PM
Some of you will read this and it will help you understand to an extent. Some of you know this life and will make you smile and cry at the same time. I just felt compelled to share it.
-------------------------------------------------
A Tribute to Dispatchers
by Tom Wagoner, Loveland Police Chief
April 14, 1995
Someone once asked me if I thought that answering telephones for a living was a profession.
I said I thought it was a calling. and so is dispatching.
I have found in my law enforcement career that dispatchers are the unsung heroes of public safety. They miss the excitement of riding in a speeding car with lights flashing and sirens wailing. They can only hear of the bright orange flames leaping from a burning building. They do not get to see the joy on the face of worried parents as they see their child begin breathing on its own, after it has been given CPR.
Dispatchers sit in darkened rooms looking at computer screens and talking to voices from faces they never see.
It's like reading a lot of books, but only half of each one.
Dispatchers connect the anxious conversations of terrified victims, angry informants, suicidal citizens and grouchy officers. They are the calming influence of all of them--the quiet, competent voices in the night that provide the pillars for the bridges of sanity and safety.
They are expected to gather information from highly agitated people who can't remember where they live, what their name is, or what they just saw. And then they are to calmly provide all that information to officers, fire fighters or paramedics without error--the first time, and every time.
Dispatchers are expected to be able to do five things at once--and do them all well. While questioning a frantic caller, they must type the information into a computer, tip off another dispatcher, put another caller on hold, and listen to an officer run a plate for a parking problem. To miss the plate numbers is to raise the officer's ire; to miss the caller's information may be to endanger the same officer's life. But the officer will never understand that.
Dispatchers have two constant companions. Other dispatchers and stress. They depend on the one, and try to ignore the other. They are chastened by upset callers, taken for granted by the public, and criticized by officers. The rewards they get are inexpensive and infrequent, except for the satisfaction they feel at the end of a shift, having done what they were expected to do.
Dispatchers come in all shapes and sizes, all races, both sexes, and all ages. They are blondes, and brunettes, and redheads. They are quiet or outgoing, single or married, plain, beautiful or handsome. No two are alike, yet they are all the same.
They are people who were selected in a difficult hiring process to do an impossible job. They are as different as snowflakes, but they have one thing in common. They care about people and they enjoy being the lifeline of society--that steady voice in a storm--the one who knows how to handle every emergency and does it with style and grace, and uncompromised competence.
Dispatchers play many roles: therapist, answer man, doctor, lawyer, teacher, weatherman, guidance counselor, psychologist, priest, secretary, supervisor, politician, and reporter. And few people must jump through the emotional hoops on the trip through the joy of one caller's birthday party, to the fear of another caller's burglary in progress, to the anger of a neighbor blocked in their drive, and back to the birthday caller's, all in a two minute time frame. The emotional roller-coaster rolls to a stop after an 8 or 10 hour shift, and they are expected to walk down to their car with steady feet and no queasiness in their stomach--because they are dispatchers.
If they hold it in, they are too closed. If they talk about it, they're a whiner. If it bothers them, it adds more stress. If it doesn't, they question themselves, wondering why.
Dispatchers are expected to have the compassion of Mother Teresa; the wisdom of Solomon; the interviewing skills of Ophrah Winfrey; the gentleness of Florence Nightingale; the patience of Job; the voice of Barbara Streisand; the knowledge of Einstein; the answers of Ann Landers; the people skills of Sheriff Andy Taylor; the humor of David Letterman; the investigative skills of Sgt. Joe Friday; the looks of Melanie Griffith or Don Johnson; the faith of Billy Graham; the energy of Charro; and the endurance of the EverReady Bunny.
Is it any wonder that many drop out during training?
It is a unique and talented person who can do this job and do it well.
And it is fitting and proper that we take a few minutes or hours this week to honor you for the job that each of you do. That recognition is overdue, and it is insufficient....But it is sincere.
I have tried to do your job, and I have failed.
It takes a special person with unique skills. I admire you and I thank you for the thankless job you do.
You are heroes....And I am proud to work with you.
Posted 1/4/2008 11:28:45 PM
Some of you will read this and it will help you understand to an extent. Some of you know this life and will make you smile and cry at the same time. I just felt compelled to share it.
-------------------------------------------------
A Tribute to Dispatchers
by Tom Wagoner, Loveland Police Chief
April 14, 1995
Someone once asked me if I thought that answering telephones for a living was a profession.
I said I thought it was a calling. and so is dispatching.
I have found in my law enforcement career that dispatchers are the unsung heroes of public safety. They miss the excitement of riding in a speeding car with lights flashing and sirens wailing. They can only hear of the bright orange flames leaping from a burning building. They do not get to see the joy on the face of worried parents as they see their child begin breathing on its own, after it has been given CPR.
Dispatchers sit in darkened rooms looking at computer screens and talking to voices from faces they never see.
It's like reading a lot of books, but only half of each one.
Dispatchers connect the anxious conversations of terrified victims, angry informants, suicidal citizens and grouchy officers. They are the calming influence of all of them--the quiet, competent voices in the night that provide the pillars for the bridges of sanity and safety.
They are expected to gather information from highly agitated people who can't remember where they live, what their name is, or what they just saw. And then they are to calmly provide all that information to officers, fire fighters or paramedics without error--the first time, and every time.
Dispatchers are expected to be able to do five things at once--and do them all well. While questioning a frantic caller, they must type the information into a computer, tip off another dispatcher, put another caller on hold, and listen to an officer run a plate for a parking problem. To miss the plate numbers is to raise the officer's ire; to miss the caller's information may be to endanger the same officer's life. But the officer will never understand that.
Dispatchers have two constant companions. Other dispatchers and stress. They depend on the one, and try to ignore the other. They are chastened by upset callers, taken for granted by the public, and criticized by officers. The rewards they get are inexpensive and infrequent, except for the satisfaction they feel at the end of a shift, having done what they were expected to do.
Dispatchers come in all shapes and sizes, all races, both sexes, and all ages. They are blondes, and brunettes, and redheads. They are quiet or outgoing, single or married, plain, beautiful or handsome. No two are alike, yet they are all the same.
They are people who were selected in a difficult hiring process to do an impossible job. They are as different as snowflakes, but they have one thing in common. They care about people and they enjoy being the lifeline of society--that steady voice in a storm--the one who knows how to handle every emergency and does it with style and grace, and uncompromised competence.
Dispatchers play many roles: therapist, answer man, doctor, lawyer, teacher, weatherman, guidance counselor, psychologist, priest, secretary, supervisor, politician, and reporter. And few people must jump through the emotional hoops on the trip through the joy of one caller's birthday party, to the fear of another caller's burglary in progress, to the anger of a neighbor blocked in their drive, and back to the birthday caller's, all in a two minute time frame. The emotional roller-coaster rolls to a stop after an 8 or 10 hour shift, and they are expected to walk down to their car with steady feet and no queasiness in their stomach--because they are dispatchers.
If they hold it in, they are too closed. If they talk about it, they're a whiner. If it bothers them, it adds more stress. If it doesn't, they question themselves, wondering why.
Dispatchers are expected to have the compassion of Mother Teresa; the wisdom of Solomon; the interviewing skills of Ophrah Winfrey; the gentleness of Florence Nightingale; the patience of Job; the voice of Barbara Streisand; the knowledge of Einstein; the answers of Ann Landers; the people skills of Sheriff Andy Taylor; the humor of David Letterman; the investigative skills of Sgt. Joe Friday; the looks of Melanie Griffith or Don Johnson; the faith of Billy Graham; the energy of Charro; and the endurance of the EverReady Bunny.
Is it any wonder that many drop out during training?
It is a unique and talented person who can do this job and do it well.
And it is fitting and proper that we take a few minutes or hours this week to honor you for the job that each of you do. That recognition is overdue, and it is insufficient....But it is sincere.
I have tried to do your job, and I have failed.
It takes a special person with unique skills. I admire you and I thank you for the thankless job you do.
You are heroes....And I am proud to work with you.
Just Because: She made me make one!
Posted 1/2/2008 7:58:19 PM
my sis did it so she says I hadta to make a quiz too! So here we go! Enjoy!!!
http://www.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=080102065758-216961&
Posted 1/2/2008 7:58:19 PM
my sis did it so she says I hadta to make a quiz too! So here we go! Enjoy!!!
http://www.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=080102065758-216961&
Wanderings of a Lost Mind: Its been real & its been fun......
Posted 1/1/2008 9:44:09 PM
Well it's been an eventful week. We got pasted xmas and onto new years. New years was not quite as eventful as I expected it to be. Some calls that I expected we didn't have and others we had so many of it was unreal.
On the 31rst our county judge instituted a burn ban for the county however decided that while we are in a burn ban fireworks are still okay. WHAT???
As he called in that day to inform us that the burn ban was in, I specifically asked him, "what about fireworks" and yes they were okay..ground; aerials it didn't matter.
Ya'll we worked so many grass fires last nite from people with fireworks it was unreal. I haven't worked that many fires since the agency I worked for prior and all the meth lab explosions we constantly had.
The good news is my hubby is starting with a new agency this month. He's moving from a local pd to our neighboring county sheriff office. Its much closer to home, more money, more opportunities and a take home car!! woohoo! we're most excited about the changes.
He feels somewhat guilty about leaving his current agency, because he's that kind of person he has a strong work ethic and feels loyalty to the chief that took him on when he started however its whats best for him to further his law enforcement career. His current chief will not send him to schools/training that he needs and he'll never promote or advance at the current pd that he's with so this move is better in the big picture of things.
I hope you all had a safe and happy new year and wish you all many very happy wishes in the new year!!!
Posted 1/1/2008 9:44:09 PM
Well it's been an eventful week. We got pasted xmas and onto new years. New years was not quite as eventful as I expected it to be. Some calls that I expected we didn't have and others we had so many of it was unreal.
On the 31rst our county judge instituted a burn ban for the county however decided that while we are in a burn ban fireworks are still okay. WHAT???
As he called in that day to inform us that the burn ban was in, I specifically asked him, "what about fireworks" and yes they were okay..ground; aerials it didn't matter.
Ya'll we worked so many grass fires last nite from people with fireworks it was unreal. I haven't worked that many fires since the agency I worked for prior and all the meth lab explosions we constantly had.
The good news is my hubby is starting with a new agency this month. He's moving from a local pd to our neighboring county sheriff office. Its much closer to home, more money, more opportunities and a take home car!! woohoo! we're most excited about the changes.
He feels somewhat guilty about leaving his current agency, because he's that kind of person he has a strong work ethic and feels loyalty to the chief that took him on when he started however its whats best for him to further his law enforcement career. His current chief will not send him to schools/training that he needs and he'll never promote or advance at the current pd that he's with so this move is better in the big picture of things.
I hope you all had a safe and happy new year and wish you all many very happy wishes in the new year!!!
Just Because: Just Another Day....
Posted 12/27/2007 8:35:39 PM
Honestly I hate to say it but, I'm glad it's all over?
I love the holdays, spending time with the family and the meaning of christmas and everything that goes along with it on the personal end of my life. On the work end of my life, I'm glad it's over.. it's just another day that's just busier due to all the out of town folks that are all upset over something.
And before you ask, yes I have to work new years eve as well. However, different to the xmas holidays they have been much more uneventful. Usually all we get is fireworks keeping someone up or shooting them where they shouldn't be, or loud music complaints, animal complaints thanks to the fireworks etc etc. I'm not sure we've even had many dwi's in past years. I'm sincerely hoping this year isn't any different in that regard.
My sis and I have decided that this next year we are going to celebrate xmas in July. You seldom have money around the xmas holidays and everything is always so hectic so why not do it early and get it over with?? ; )
At the agency I formerly worked at, we had a JP that always held his annual xmas party in July they billed it as the "first xmas party of the season!" We bbq'd, played in the river and had a grand ol time...I'm hoping we will be doing the same without all the cold and hustle and bustle of the usual commercial holidays.
Just some food for thought : )
I hope you all had a fabulous holiday season and will have a safe and happy new year filled with lifest gentlest wishes.
Posted 12/27/2007 8:35:39 PM
Honestly I hate to say it but, I'm glad it's all over?
I love the holdays, spending time with the family and the meaning of christmas and everything that goes along with it on the personal end of my life. On the work end of my life, I'm glad it's over.. it's just another day that's just busier due to all the out of town folks that are all upset over something.
And before you ask, yes I have to work new years eve as well. However, different to the xmas holidays they have been much more uneventful. Usually all we get is fireworks keeping someone up or shooting them where they shouldn't be, or loud music complaints, animal complaints thanks to the fireworks etc etc. I'm not sure we've even had many dwi's in past years. I'm sincerely hoping this year isn't any different in that regard.
My sis and I have decided that this next year we are going to celebrate xmas in July. You seldom have money around the xmas holidays and everything is always so hectic so why not do it early and get it over with?? ; )
At the agency I formerly worked at, we had a JP that always held his annual xmas party in July they billed it as the "first xmas party of the season!" We bbq'd, played in the river and had a grand ol time...I'm hoping we will be doing the same without all the cold and hustle and bustle of the usual commercial holidays.
Just some food for thought : )
I hope you all had a fabulous holiday season and will have a safe and happy new year filled with lifest gentlest wishes.
Rants, Swears & @#$%&*!: Jaded
Posted 12/18/2007 1:36:47 AM
Main Entry: jaded
Function: adjective
1 : fatigued by overwork : exhausted
2 : made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by surfeit
Jaded. This past week has been an emotional rollercoaster in every sense of the words. I've worked 10 hrs shifts, six days straight. I'm tired. Sick and Tired.
Last week we moved our house. Which in itself is a joy. But well some things didn't go like I'd wished they would. And yeah thats part of life, things don't always go like you want them to, but its not like I was asking for a million bucks. I wanted my sis to be here for the move. That didn't happen. It wasn't her fault so much but it still hurt that she wasn't here. My family did their usual "thats nice but..."
This week my youngest had his very first school program that he performed in. His grandparents just couldn't find it in their heart to make it for 30 mins out of their evening. This from the same people that preach constantly about family time and doing things with and for the family is important. Apparently if it doesn't involve my sister and my twin nephews it's not "that" important.
Its rained and been bitterly cold even for here. This doesn't make my bones feel real good. I've hurt badly and that doesn't help my mood much either.
This week at work after six days my kindness and patience have run screaming into the night.
Earlier this week we had a four year old boy that was sitting on the hood of his grandfathers pecan shaker tractor. At some point the boy fell off. At which point his grandfather accidently ran him over on the tractor. His parents or grandparents didn't call us. They moved him to their vehicle and was transporting him themselves to the hospital that didn't even have a trauma center. While they were enroute they called us to notify the hospital that he'd fallen off a tractor and had a severe nose bleed. That was the least of this poor lil boys problems. Later we found out that he'd been crushed. The pressure had broken his sternum, popped both eyes and obviously he had severe head trauma. By the time they reached the hospital and they stabilized him the weather had changed, they called for a helicopter but we couldn't fly him due to weather. We then made arrangments for the local childrens hospital w/a trauma center to meet us halfway with her ems unit to pick him up. Earlier today his family removed him from life support and he passed away. The things people should call us for they don't; but we can get 40 friggin calls about a damn cow out on the roadway. Why can't people understand how much worse moving them can make things and how they are taking precious time away by doing this that could be life saving moments? I understand people panic and do what they think is best..but...it just makes me angry and shake my head.
I am tired of people's drama this week. I really am. In the past two weeks i've spoken to the same woman at least three times a day each day. One week she and her boyfriend are together the next week they aren't and she wants him arrested. I figure at this point the poor bastard doesn't know whether he's coming or going and doesn't know how to deal with her baby mama drama anymore than we do. I'd like to assault her myself if I thought I could get away with it!!!
Tonite we get a call from a guy that says he needs ems because he's cut himself severely while cooking. However in the background you can hear him screaming at someone else to get the hell out cuz he's just called the f'n cops. Not the ems, but the f'n cops. If you cut yourself cooking this is not an issue??? When we tried to pry a lil deeper he completely shut us down, however he was cut severely enough that we had to fly his dumbass out to a trauma center. Only later to have a second male subject show up at the local er to advise the nurse he was involved in a knife fight at the very same address. uh DUH!!!!
This on top of numerous other miscellaneous b.s. drama thats too jacked up and confusing to even attempt to explain that encompassed two different agencies and family 4 counties away that still wasn't a closed case when I left this evening.
I like mankind, its people I can't stand. I'm tired. I'm tired of liars, peoples b.s. and drama. I'm tired of self centered, i'm personally wronged and want someone else to fix something i've been screwing up for years; I'm tired of whining, pissing and people with cellphones tattling over the stupidest shit!!! I don't care that someone cut you off in traffic. Perhaps if you didn't drive like ms daisy they wouldn't have done that. I don't care if someone flipped you off! Perhaps they were just telling you "your number one!!!" I don't care that your man is screwing some other crack whore and this week you hate him but next week you'll take him back just to spite the other crack whore that he's sleeping with!! I simply do not care!!!!
I care about the little boy that I couldn't help that might still be alive if we could have helped him in time. I care about the son that handled himself like a champ when his father was bleeding from every hole he had after being bitten repeatedly by a snake. I care about the elderly father who's son just made him believe that he shot himself on the phone while they were talking but we know just finished getting his meth from his crack head buddy right up the road moments after. Those people I care about! This week the rest of em can kiss my ass!
My friend told me she saw something earlier this week that said "come to the dark side we have cookies". I've been to the dark side. I ate all the cookies and they kicked me out cuz their scared i'm going to take over! Screw them!
I'm jaded.
Posted 12/18/2007 1:36:47 AM
Main Entry: jaded
Function: adjective
1 : fatigued by overwork : exhausted
2 : made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by surfeit
Jaded. This past week has been an emotional rollercoaster in every sense of the words. I've worked 10 hrs shifts, six days straight. I'm tired. Sick and Tired.
Last week we moved our house. Which in itself is a joy. But well some things didn't go like I'd wished they would. And yeah thats part of life, things don't always go like you want them to, but its not like I was asking for a million bucks. I wanted my sis to be here for the move. That didn't happen. It wasn't her fault so much but it still hurt that she wasn't here. My family did their usual "thats nice but..."
This week my youngest had his very first school program that he performed in. His grandparents just couldn't find it in their heart to make it for 30 mins out of their evening. This from the same people that preach constantly about family time and doing things with and for the family is important. Apparently if it doesn't involve my sister and my twin nephews it's not "that" important.
Its rained and been bitterly cold even for here. This doesn't make my bones feel real good. I've hurt badly and that doesn't help my mood much either.
This week at work after six days my kindness and patience have run screaming into the night.
Earlier this week we had a four year old boy that was sitting on the hood of his grandfathers pecan shaker tractor. At some point the boy fell off. At which point his grandfather accidently ran him over on the tractor. His parents or grandparents didn't call us. They moved him to their vehicle and was transporting him themselves to the hospital that didn't even have a trauma center. While they were enroute they called us to notify the hospital that he'd fallen off a tractor and had a severe nose bleed. That was the least of this poor lil boys problems. Later we found out that he'd been crushed. The pressure had broken his sternum, popped both eyes and obviously he had severe head trauma. By the time they reached the hospital and they stabilized him the weather had changed, they called for a helicopter but we couldn't fly him due to weather. We then made arrangments for the local childrens hospital w/a trauma center to meet us halfway with her ems unit to pick him up. Earlier today his family removed him from life support and he passed away. The things people should call us for they don't; but we can get 40 friggin calls about a damn cow out on the roadway. Why can't people understand how much worse moving them can make things and how they are taking precious time away by doing this that could be life saving moments? I understand people panic and do what they think is best..but...it just makes me angry and shake my head.
I am tired of people's drama this week. I really am. In the past two weeks i've spoken to the same woman at least three times a day each day. One week she and her boyfriend are together the next week they aren't and she wants him arrested. I figure at this point the poor bastard doesn't know whether he's coming or going and doesn't know how to deal with her baby mama drama anymore than we do. I'd like to assault her myself if I thought I could get away with it!!!
Tonite we get a call from a guy that says he needs ems because he's cut himself severely while cooking. However in the background you can hear him screaming at someone else to get the hell out cuz he's just called the f'n cops. Not the ems, but the f'n cops. If you cut yourself cooking this is not an issue??? When we tried to pry a lil deeper he completely shut us down, however he was cut severely enough that we had to fly his dumbass out to a trauma center. Only later to have a second male subject show up at the local er to advise the nurse he was involved in a knife fight at the very same address. uh DUH!!!!
This on top of numerous other miscellaneous b.s. drama thats too jacked up and confusing to even attempt to explain that encompassed two different agencies and family 4 counties away that still wasn't a closed case when I left this evening.
I like mankind, its people I can't stand. I'm tired. I'm tired of liars, peoples b.s. and drama. I'm tired of self centered, i'm personally wronged and want someone else to fix something i've been screwing up for years; I'm tired of whining, pissing and people with cellphones tattling over the stupidest shit!!! I don't care that someone cut you off in traffic. Perhaps if you didn't drive like ms daisy they wouldn't have done that. I don't care if someone flipped you off! Perhaps they were just telling you "your number one!!!" I don't care that your man is screwing some other crack whore and this week you hate him but next week you'll take him back just to spite the other crack whore that he's sleeping with!! I simply do not care!!!!
I care about the little boy that I couldn't help that might still be alive if we could have helped him in time. I care about the son that handled himself like a champ when his father was bleeding from every hole he had after being bitten repeatedly by a snake. I care about the elderly father who's son just made him believe that he shot himself on the phone while they were talking but we know just finished getting his meth from his crack head buddy right up the road moments after. Those people I care about! This week the rest of em can kiss my ass!
My friend told me she saw something earlier this week that said "come to the dark side we have cookies". I've been to the dark side. I ate all the cookies and they kicked me out cuz their scared i'm going to take over! Screw them!
I'm jaded.
Just Because: Big Moves
Posted 12/11/2007 5:51:52 PM
Well yesterday we FINALLY moved our house.
Its been in the works since spring of this year fgs! We had so much rain over the summer time that it couldn't happen then. Then we were at the bottom of the list to be moved so we also had to wait in line when things finally dried up.
We met last week and decided that yesterday would be the day. Since then they've called for major downpours all week long. So we weren't real optimistic that it was actually going to happen at all this week. It rained but not enough to amount to anything but ugh it was soo cold and foggy and then they didn't get to the site until almost 1 p.m. so on top of the yucky weather we got a late start; but we got it moved. They came back today and finished getting it all set up and squared away.
Now the real work begins. Yes we are going to remodel it before we move in so we're only partly there but at least I can stop stressing over that part. I can half ass'd sleep again..LOL!
Ah well now we all head back to work and some sense of normalcy whatever that is.
One down..god knows how many to go.
Posted 12/11/2007 5:51:52 PM
Well yesterday we FINALLY moved our house.
Its been in the works since spring of this year fgs! We had so much rain over the summer time that it couldn't happen then. Then we were at the bottom of the list to be moved so we also had to wait in line when things finally dried up.
We met last week and decided that yesterday would be the day. Since then they've called for major downpours all week long. So we weren't real optimistic that it was actually going to happen at all this week. It rained but not enough to amount to anything but ugh it was soo cold and foggy and then they didn't get to the site until almost 1 p.m. so on top of the yucky weather we got a late start; but we got it moved. They came back today and finished getting it all set up and squared away.
Now the real work begins. Yes we are going to remodel it before we move in so we're only partly there but at least I can stop stressing over that part. I can half ass'd sleep again..LOL!
Ah well now we all head back to work and some sense of normalcy whatever that is.
One down..god knows how many to go.
Wanderings of a Lost Mind: Color me Stupid
Posted 12/4/2007 3:20:56 PM
Ok for the ever loving mother of pez!
I am trying to change up my blog. I managed to get the background changed, and went in and thought i changed all my text colors but apparently I am some how afflicted and didn't do it correctly.
I changed them all and then hit the save changes button between the two boxes.
Wth am I missing fgs to make it change???
Someone please help before my very feeble mind whom I mistakenly let out to wander falls off the deep end!!!
Posted 12/4/2007 3:20:56 PM
Ok for the ever loving mother of pez!
I am trying to change up my blog. I managed to get the background changed, and went in and thought i changed all my text colors but apparently I am some how afflicted and didn't do it correctly.
I changed them all and then hit the save changes button between the two boxes.
Wth am I missing fgs to make it change???
Someone please help before my very feeble mind whom I mistakenly let out to wander falls off the deep end!!!
Just Because: I miss my friend
Posted 11/27/2007 8:34:21 PM
I miss you and you know who you are.
I'm not sure what happned this time, although I'm sure I have a pretty good idea. S'ok, sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
You know where to find me if you ever want to talk. Just know that I'm always here if and when you need a friend to share your journey and help carry your burden.
I send warmest and gentlest of wishes to you each and every day and know that your always in my thoughts.
Take care my sweet friend. I hope I see you soon.
Posted 11/27/2007 8:34:21 PM
I miss you and you know who you are.
I'm not sure what happned this time, although I'm sure I have a pretty good idea. S'ok, sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
You know where to find me if you ever want to talk. Just know that I'm always here if and when you need a friend to share your journey and help carry your burden.
I send warmest and gentlest of wishes to you each and every day and know that your always in my thoughts.
Take care my sweet friend. I hope I see you soon.
Just Because: wandering aimlessly thru the padded room
Posted 11/21/2007 11:34:35 AM
My people are making me more insane than normal. Ok I understand that sounds somewhat contridictory, but its the truth!!!
I am horribly outnumbered in my home. I have two boys and the third that I married. Men are just lil boys trapped in bigger bodies for those of you that arent' informed. If the older boy isn't tormenting the lil boy then the big one is tormenting one or both of them. Someone is constantly whining or gripin about something and/or screaming at the top of their lungs for someone to "stop" or "why won't they listen" etc etc etc.
I understand now why some creatures eat their young, because they have enough forsight to realize that if they don't they will soon need a frontal labotomy to keep from becoming homicidal anyway!! There is a perverbial river of testosterone flowing thru my house and instead of paddling my lil boat; im weilding my paddles like numchucks trying to whack the crap outta someone so they'll shut up and stop touching whomever is screaming that they are!
As they all stop and look at me like im some sort of alien as I speak thru gritted teeth to them with slits as eyes trying to keep them from seeing the daggers flying from them. "whats wrong with you?" they say as tho surprised that their mother/wife would appear aggitated at all at their surroundings and behavior.
Apparently my teflon suit is still at the cleaners and they missed the memo.
Posted 11/21/2007 11:34:35 AM
My people are making me more insane than normal. Ok I understand that sounds somewhat contridictory, but its the truth!!!
I am horribly outnumbered in my home. I have two boys and the third that I married. Men are just lil boys trapped in bigger bodies for those of you that arent' informed. If the older boy isn't tormenting the lil boy then the big one is tormenting one or both of them. Someone is constantly whining or gripin about something and/or screaming at the top of their lungs for someone to "stop" or "why won't they listen" etc etc etc.
I understand now why some creatures eat their young, because they have enough forsight to realize that if they don't they will soon need a frontal labotomy to keep from becoming homicidal anyway!! There is a perverbial river of testosterone flowing thru my house and instead of paddling my lil boat; im weilding my paddles like numchucks trying to whack the crap outta someone so they'll shut up and stop touching whomever is screaming that they are!
As they all stop and look at me like im some sort of alien as I speak thru gritted teeth to them with slits as eyes trying to keep them from seeing the daggers flying from them. "whats wrong with you?" they say as tho surprised that their mother/wife would appear aggitated at all at their surroundings and behavior.
Apparently my teflon suit is still at the cleaners and they missed the memo.
Wanderings of a Lost Mind: Life lessons in love and fear
Posted 11/16/2007 12:24:10 PM
Yesterday I felt the extremes in love and fear.
My oldest son yesterday did something that I will never forget, both because of how it felt and because of what it was.
I got a call from the school advising me that he was unresponsive but breathing. I knew exactly what was going on, it was just matter of getting there to handle it. Sure enough at break neck speed we (his father and I) arrive at school to find that he's conscious and "alert" if you can call it that, but he's higher than a damn kite. In that very instant I felt love, fear and extreme anger all at the same time. The school nurse had to do a chest message, if you will, to get him to "wake up". When we arrived she was gone, but the AP was there, as well as one of our local finest, which I knew.
We all talked and discussed where he got it from, and why he felt the need to do sucha thing. I'm not so stupid as to think that this stuff doesn't happen and that "most" kids don't try it at one point or another. But what he took coupled with his normal meds were a deadly combination that could have killed him!
I don't even know what I'm sposed to feel how I'm sposed to make it better. I feel like I've somehow failed him. He's a good kid, and he knows better, but obviously something is missing for him and at this point I'm not sure how to make it better. He understands it was wrong, a mistake, poor judgement and that there are consequences for the choices he's made and he's not going to like them much at all, But for me thats just the tip of the iceberg.
I'm so numb at this point and feel like I'm the one thats high. This isn't the first time that we've crossed this bridge but it's been awhile and stupid us, thought that we'd gotten passed this, but apparently we were wrong. I'm not sure if I feel fear or betrayal or both. I'm worried what he'll do next and praying that he does nothing.
He's got to spend some time in aep, or in school suspension and of course counseling and such.
I wish parenting came with a "how to" manual it would make things so much easier. And to think I still have another one coming behind him that I pray I won't have to tackle this issue with but it won't surprise me if I do again.
Its rather sad to think that the drugs are so prevelant in our schools that you can walk into the boys restroom to get whatever you want, pot, pills, meth, coke etc. During my day I wouldn't have even known who to ask or where to go to even think about finding drugs, let alone just walking into the restroom to get whatever an assortment one might wish for. When I addressed this with the principal earlier this a.m. his reaction was "well we have the drug dogs come thru on a regular basis". The drug dogs have come thru the school twice this year. TWICE!! They also were given a school resource officer this year. He's more interested in writing citations for no license plates than being in the school actually making a difference.
Understand that I'm not blaming the school for my son's poor choices however they're not making it difficult for him either. I guess im just angry and lashing out but obviously I can't protect my child from outside elements or himself for that matter.
I guess in some ways, I'm just as lost as he is.
Posted 11/16/2007 12:24:10 PM
Yesterday I felt the extremes in love and fear.
My oldest son yesterday did something that I will never forget, both because of how it felt and because of what it was.
I got a call from the school advising me that he was unresponsive but breathing. I knew exactly what was going on, it was just matter of getting there to handle it. Sure enough at break neck speed we (his father and I) arrive at school to find that he's conscious and "alert" if you can call it that, but he's higher than a damn kite. In that very instant I felt love, fear and extreme anger all at the same time. The school nurse had to do a chest message, if you will, to get him to "wake up". When we arrived she was gone, but the AP was there, as well as one of our local finest, which I knew.
We all talked and discussed where he got it from, and why he felt the need to do sucha thing. I'm not so stupid as to think that this stuff doesn't happen and that "most" kids don't try it at one point or another. But what he took coupled with his normal meds were a deadly combination that could have killed him!
I don't even know what I'm sposed to feel how I'm sposed to make it better. I feel like I've somehow failed him. He's a good kid, and he knows better, but obviously something is missing for him and at this point I'm not sure how to make it better. He understands it was wrong, a mistake, poor judgement and that there are consequences for the choices he's made and he's not going to like them much at all, But for me thats just the tip of the iceberg.
I'm so numb at this point and feel like I'm the one thats high. This isn't the first time that we've crossed this bridge but it's been awhile and stupid us, thought that we'd gotten passed this, but apparently we were wrong. I'm not sure if I feel fear or betrayal or both. I'm worried what he'll do next and praying that he does nothing.
He's got to spend some time in aep, or in school suspension and of course counseling and such.
I wish parenting came with a "how to" manual it would make things so much easier. And to think I still have another one coming behind him that I pray I won't have to tackle this issue with but it won't surprise me if I do again.
Its rather sad to think that the drugs are so prevelant in our schools that you can walk into the boys restroom to get whatever you want, pot, pills, meth, coke etc. During my day I wouldn't have even known who to ask or where to go to even think about finding drugs, let alone just walking into the restroom to get whatever an assortment one might wish for. When I addressed this with the principal earlier this a.m. his reaction was "well we have the drug dogs come thru on a regular basis". The drug dogs have come thru the school twice this year. TWICE!! They also were given a school resource officer this year. He's more interested in writing citations for no license plates than being in the school actually making a difference.
Understand that I'm not blaming the school for my son's poor choices however they're not making it difficult for him either. I guess im just angry and lashing out but obviously I can't protect my child from outside elements or himself for that matter.
I guess in some ways, I'm just as lost as he is.
Rants, Swears & @#$%&*!: Favorites and Homemade Politics
Posted 11/13/2007 8:07:33 PM
I've not ever been well versed at the fine art of ass kiss'n. Just not my thing and frankly I have little tolerance of those that do. Generally because there is usually someone behind them bustin their ass twice as hard to get to the same place in lieu of having of have themselves surgically removed from someone else's ass.
Nor can one help when another plays favorite from a supervisory position. I'm not even sure how one overcomes that kind of adversity or if they even can.
Earlier this week on one of my days off I was called into work. I wasn't the only person off nor the only person that could be contacted however I was the only one contacted because the supervisor didn't want to contact the other person as it was "her" day off. I'm not even remotely trying to toot my own horn but I work my butt off. I try my very best to do my very best when I'm at work, not only for myself but for the people I serve. Foolishly I thought that after the time I'd been there, that some finally realized this, apparently I was wrong.
I spose its like most anything else, people will push down that and those that they think will not benefit them and carry those that they think will benefit them in some way irregardless of how twisted or incorrect that thought process may be.
I guess thats the country kid in me; I don't know but i've never much appreciated the fine art of politics or dancing around the issues. I was raised that if you have a problem with someone that you should be able to be honest and direct with them to resolve the issue. However at some point, times and life changed and that became taboo. We have to play nice and be pc and not say what we think or how we feel to make sure that we don't hurt others feelings or "step out of line" irregardless that it may be to the detriment of our own feelings/life.
At what point did responsibility and accountibility become something that one wouldn't want to be proud to have? When did we become a society that decided that to tiptoe around and politely smile in the face of adversity and predjudice was the right thing to do?
perhaps I am just being sheltered/skewed in my way of thinking or perhaps my old school country upbringing is showing; either way apprently I missed the day when honor, honesty and integrity took a hike and were replaced with lies, politics and passing the buck to save face with whomever we decided is important in that moment.
Posted 11/13/2007 8:07:33 PM
I've not ever been well versed at the fine art of ass kiss'n. Just not my thing and frankly I have little tolerance of those that do. Generally because there is usually someone behind them bustin their ass twice as hard to get to the same place in lieu of having of have themselves surgically removed from someone else's ass.
Nor can one help when another plays favorite from a supervisory position. I'm not even sure how one overcomes that kind of adversity or if they even can.
Earlier this week on one of my days off I was called into work. I wasn't the only person off nor the only person that could be contacted however I was the only one contacted because the supervisor didn't want to contact the other person as it was "her" day off. I'm not even remotely trying to toot my own horn but I work my butt off. I try my very best to do my very best when I'm at work, not only for myself but for the people I serve. Foolishly I thought that after the time I'd been there, that some finally realized this, apparently I was wrong.
I spose its like most anything else, people will push down that and those that they think will not benefit them and carry those that they think will benefit them in some way irregardless of how twisted or incorrect that thought process may be.
I guess thats the country kid in me; I don't know but i've never much appreciated the fine art of politics or dancing around the issues. I was raised that if you have a problem with someone that you should be able to be honest and direct with them to resolve the issue. However at some point, times and life changed and that became taboo. We have to play nice and be pc and not say what we think or how we feel to make sure that we don't hurt others feelings or "step out of line" irregardless that it may be to the detriment of our own feelings/life.
At what point did responsibility and accountibility become something that one wouldn't want to be proud to have? When did we become a society that decided that to tiptoe around and politely smile in the face of adversity and predjudice was the right thing to do?
perhaps I am just being sheltered/skewed in my way of thinking or perhaps my old school country upbringing is showing; either way apprently I missed the day when honor, honesty and integrity took a hike and were replaced with lies, politics and passing the buck to save face with whomever we decided is important in that moment.
Wanderings of a Lost Mind: Blah blah blah yakkity shmackity
Posted 11/7/2007 11:16:34 PM
My life as of late has just been blah! Or perhaps its just me thats blah.
I have those times, I'm not sure if its boredom, habit, depression or just the blahs. Either way I don't much like it when I feel like this. The weird thing is, i'm not necessarily unhappy but i'm not jumping for joy either. I going to assume that I'm not the only person that does this, cuz that would just make me weird; not that i'm not accused of that anyway but still one can dream.
Halloween went off without a hitch and my youngest's costume was a big hit. We were all pleased about that plus he got sugar to go and of course we all look forward to that.
Work has been work. Have made the shift change and not real excited about that either. I'm used to being on days where things are constantly happening; even if most of it is b.s. calls its still calls and something to do. As opposed to making it thru 4 chapters in the book im currently reading because there is nothing going on!! I don't function real well like that and tend to get bored real easily and we all know what they say about idle hands.
I can't manage to get a hold of my farrier. I know this seems like a small ordeal however he seems to either have pitched his phone in the river or he's no longer doing this and never in my life have I ever had a more difficult time trying to locate someone in a certain profession than now!! I've got to get the mare shod to ride where I live for any great distance and the frustration is building. I swear I would have an easier time trying to locate a left handed virgin to cut off a rabbits foot under a full moon on the 4th Tuesday than get shoes on the mare!
So as you can see from the above mundane nothing exciting to see here...move along. Just the facts ma'am!
Posted 11/7/2007 11:16:34 PM
My life as of late has just been blah! Or perhaps its just me thats blah.
I have those times, I'm not sure if its boredom, habit, depression or just the blahs. Either way I don't much like it when I feel like this. The weird thing is, i'm not necessarily unhappy but i'm not jumping for joy either. I going to assume that I'm not the only person that does this, cuz that would just make me weird; not that i'm not accused of that anyway but still one can dream.
Halloween went off without a hitch and my youngest's costume was a big hit. We were all pleased about that plus he got sugar to go and of course we all look forward to that.
Work has been work. Have made the shift change and not real excited about that either. I'm used to being on days where things are constantly happening; even if most of it is b.s. calls its still calls and something to do. As opposed to making it thru 4 chapters in the book im currently reading because there is nothing going on!! I don't function real well like that and tend to get bored real easily and we all know what they say about idle hands.
I can't manage to get a hold of my farrier. I know this seems like a small ordeal however he seems to either have pitched his phone in the river or he's no longer doing this and never in my life have I ever had a more difficult time trying to locate someone in a certain profession than now!! I've got to get the mare shod to ride where I live for any great distance and the frustration is building. I swear I would have an easier time trying to locate a left handed virgin to cut off a rabbits foot under a full moon on the 4th Tuesday than get shoes on the mare!
So as you can see from the above mundane nothing exciting to see here...move along. Just the facts ma'am!
Wanderings of a Lost Mind: Bring on the Rain
Posted 10/30/2007 12:36:43 AM
yanno the saying "somedays its not worth the effort to chew thru the leather straps"...today was that day.
last week I worked a very long week for me. I worked my shift plus an additional day of coverage for a coworker. My three days off were spent making my youngest halloween costume with his aunt which was the better part of 12 hrs. spent over two days,working on it to get it done. (and let me say it looks awesome)
Today I get to work and got into trouble for doing my job. Last week I dropped an accident where the callers weren't exactly sure where it was as well as they didn't have any info on injuries other than it appeared to them that the driver was getting out of the vehicle. Well come to find out after ems arrived it was quite the contrary. The driver was pinned in the vehicle and we lifted the driver out. At the same time I dropped a disturbance as well as had 3 other priority calls going on. Needless to say one person can only do so many things at once and one thing was late getting done and I got into trouble for it even tho it was noted that I was slammed at the time and handling other priority calls as well, and while I understand why I was written up and understand its simply policy and not necessarily fair, somehow at the end of the day it didn't make me feel better.
On top of that prior to my shift ending this evening I recv'd a call from the local hospital about a lil boy that was born earlier in the evening and has passed away. Ya'll he didn't even have a name yet. It brought back all the memories of my own experiences with that and I cried the whole way home.
Its funny why we cry. We cry when we're angry, happy, sad or just because we can't make it stop. Its kinda like rain I spose, the rains fall and clense the earth refreshing them and making all things clean to help them grow. Tears are alot like that, they clense the soul and help us grow. I guess tonite, I just needed to rain.
Posted 10/30/2007 12:36:43 AM
yanno the saying "somedays its not worth the effort to chew thru the leather straps"...today was that day.
last week I worked a very long week for me. I worked my shift plus an additional day of coverage for a coworker. My three days off were spent making my youngest halloween costume with his aunt which was the better part of 12 hrs. spent over two days,working on it to get it done. (and let me say it looks awesome)
Today I get to work and got into trouble for doing my job. Last week I dropped an accident where the callers weren't exactly sure where it was as well as they didn't have any info on injuries other than it appeared to them that the driver was getting out of the vehicle. Well come to find out after ems arrived it was quite the contrary. The driver was pinned in the vehicle and we lifted the driver out. At the same time I dropped a disturbance as well as had 3 other priority calls going on. Needless to say one person can only do so many things at once and one thing was late getting done and I got into trouble for it even tho it was noted that I was slammed at the time and handling other priority calls as well, and while I understand why I was written up and understand its simply policy and not necessarily fair, somehow at the end of the day it didn't make me feel better.
On top of that prior to my shift ending this evening I recv'd a call from the local hospital about a lil boy that was born earlier in the evening and has passed away. Ya'll he didn't even have a name yet. It brought back all the memories of my own experiences with that and I cried the whole way home.
Its funny why we cry. We cry when we're angry, happy, sad or just because we can't make it stop. Its kinda like rain I spose, the rains fall and clense the earth refreshing them and making all things clean to help them grow. Tears are alot like that, they clense the soul and help us grow. I guess tonite, I just needed to rain.
Don't think the police help???: Blantant, Brazen or just don't care??
Posted 10/27/2007 9:48:37 AM
Well as piper had blogged on an earlier date our county has been working a sting reference sexual activity going on at a local park anytime day or night.
This week our sheriff held a press conference advising the public that since the sting started we've had 40, yes count them 40 arrests!!!
The sad part about all this is these people know the police are there and are working they're watching as the vehicles are being impounded and as soon as they are gone its back to business as usual!! They simply do not care, its really not slowing them down much and the word doesn't seem to be spreading to stay away which was the biggest point of starting this sting to begin with!!Thus the press conference.
Some of these men are married sucessful people, others single "heterosexual" as they claim, others homosexual. But all just as brazen as they can be without care in the world of the ramifications of their actions. I've heard some of these men call their wives, significant others and the excuses they use are both comical and amazing! One man advised he'd just stopped to use the restroom. Now here is my thing, if you shake it more than twice thats not peeing!!!
Hopefully the press conference will make a difference in getting the word out that we are making a difference and stay away cuz we'll be there!!
On a different note...anyone remember barbie and ken? Why didn't barbie ever go for GI Joe?? Does ken strike anyone as perhaps he'd like GI joe instead of barbie? Just a thought!
Posted 10/27/2007 9:48:37 AM
Well as piper had blogged on an earlier date our county has been working a sting reference sexual activity going on at a local park anytime day or night.
This week our sheriff held a press conference advising the public that since the sting started we've had 40, yes count them 40 arrests!!!
The sad part about all this is these people know the police are there and are working they're watching as the vehicles are being impounded and as soon as they are gone its back to business as usual!! They simply do not care, its really not slowing them down much and the word doesn't seem to be spreading to stay away which was the biggest point of starting this sting to begin with!!Thus the press conference.
Some of these men are married sucessful people, others single "heterosexual" as they claim, others homosexual. But all just as brazen as they can be without care in the world of the ramifications of their actions. I've heard some of these men call their wives, significant others and the excuses they use are both comical and amazing! One man advised he'd just stopped to use the restroom. Now here is my thing, if you shake it more than twice thats not peeing!!!
Hopefully the press conference will make a difference in getting the word out that we are making a difference and stay away cuz we'll be there!!
On a different note...anyone remember barbie and ken? Why didn't barbie ever go for GI Joe?? Does ken strike anyone as perhaps he'd like GI joe instead of barbie? Just a thought!
Wanderings of a Lost Mind: Love, Loss and their sidekick Comic Relief
Posted 10/20/2007 10:26:44 PM
On Thursday, my grandfather's sister passed away.
Last night we went to the visitation and of course today was the funeral. It was held in a tiny farming town in Texas that I spent a good part of my life in with my grandad growing up. It was refreshing to see people pull to the side of the road and wait as the procession passed by out of respect. As small as that seems, to me its a big deal. After living in larger cities, this doesn't always happen and it just really irks me when it doesn't. We all gathered in this very tiny church to pay our respects and then made our way to the cemetary where depending on whether you live on the new or old side of town depends on which side of the cemetary your buried on. While it was a solemn occasion it was nice to see all my cousins and extended family. I get to see them more now as we live closer to them these days but some not as often.
Yanno funerals are generally such solemn and respectful times, but if you know me and my family you would also understand the comic relief that takes place sometimes very subtely other times it just slaps you in the face.
Today, my sister came with my twin nephews. They are almost four and full of piss and vinegar. As we are at the cemetary here goes the lil hethan child across the curbing; climbing onto a headstone to reach his grandads butt to goose him as he's standing behind the casket as a pallbearer. Then during the lord's prayer he's hollering about his mama grabbing the locus skin outta the tree above his head. Apparently unlike most folks bowing their heads during prayer he like eye contact with god. who knew!
A couple years ago when we buried my two day old niece, my fathers brother was walking around the lil casket with the warning "PLEASE WATCH WHERE YOU WALK THERE IS A HOLE THERE!" Apparently that applied to everyone but him! As he promptly walked right off into the hole, luckily she was only two days old and thus lil and thus the hole wasn't very deep and there he stood with one leg in and one leg out. This gives new meaning to "one foot in the grave"?
And what is with the "they look good"? they're dead!!! They don't look good they look dead!!!
We were discussing with my nephews this evening about the whole affair today as they attempted to catch moths and crickets outside. Explaining that everyone has a time that they go etc etc and the whole entourage of information that goes along with that...as we're talking again the locus skin squawking child catches a cricket. As he's listening he's figiting with the cricket and promptly pulls his legs off and thus killing it. When I mentioned to him that he'd killed it and that really wasn't very nice thing to do he informed me "I didn't kill him, it was just his time to go".
Apprently he's now in a better place other than my nephews hands.
Posted 10/20/2007 10:26:44 PM
On Thursday, my grandfather's sister passed away.
Last night we went to the visitation and of course today was the funeral. It was held in a tiny farming town in Texas that I spent a good part of my life in with my grandad growing up. It was refreshing to see people pull to the side of the road and wait as the procession passed by out of respect. As small as that seems, to me its a big deal. After living in larger cities, this doesn't always happen and it just really irks me when it doesn't. We all gathered in this very tiny church to pay our respects and then made our way to the cemetary where depending on whether you live on the new or old side of town depends on which side of the cemetary your buried on. While it was a solemn occasion it was nice to see all my cousins and extended family. I get to see them more now as we live closer to them these days but some not as often.
Yanno funerals are generally such solemn and respectful times, but if you know me and my family you would also understand the comic relief that takes place sometimes very subtely other times it just slaps you in the face.
Today, my sister came with my twin nephews. They are almost four and full of piss and vinegar. As we are at the cemetary here goes the lil hethan child across the curbing; climbing onto a headstone to reach his grandads butt to goose him as he's standing behind the casket as a pallbearer. Then during the lord's prayer he's hollering about his mama grabbing the locus skin outta the tree above his head. Apparently unlike most folks bowing their heads during prayer he like eye contact with god. who knew!
A couple years ago when we buried my two day old niece, my fathers brother was walking around the lil casket with the warning "PLEASE WATCH WHERE YOU WALK THERE IS A HOLE THERE!" Apparently that applied to everyone but him! As he promptly walked right off into the hole, luckily she was only two days old and thus lil and thus the hole wasn't very deep and there he stood with one leg in and one leg out. This gives new meaning to "one foot in the grave"?
And what is with the "they look good"? they're dead!!! They don't look good they look dead!!!
We were discussing with my nephews this evening about the whole affair today as they attempted to catch moths and crickets outside. Explaining that everyone has a time that they go etc etc and the whole entourage of information that goes along with that...as we're talking again the locus skin squawking child catches a cricket. As he's listening he's figiting with the cricket and promptly pulls his legs off and thus killing it. When I mentioned to him that he'd killed it and that really wasn't very nice thing to do he informed me "I didn't kill him, it was just his time to go".
Apprently he's now in a better place other than my nephews hands.
Don't think the police help???: Only the strong survive?
Posted 10/18/2007 10:53:35 PM
I'd like to think that in my line of work that in some small way I make a difference.
I realize that I am not rolling around in a patrol car or bandaging wounds on the side of the road but I am trying my best to get people the help they so desperately want and need to the best of my ability and hopefully bring them some comfort in the interim.
Much like any other line of work it gets frustrating and sometimes seems like its just going thru the motions some days; however this particular line of work is not for everyone. It takes a certain "type" of person to be able to even do this job let alone stand the test of time within it. We each cope in our own ways and in some ways it takes on its own life within our life. Until you have done this kind of work there really is no way to describe it so that you understand what truly goes into it and what you take out of it on a daily basis.
I am currently attempting to train a part time dispatcher who has never ever done this kind of work before. On top of this, she's extremely young and as desperately as she wants to do this job I'm just not sure it's going to happen for her. She's very sweet and kind hearted and its not that those particular traits are bad things however you can't be timid in this job you've got to be able to jump in with both feet and take charge; its almost like a scare house on halloween; not for the faint of heart.
I want her to keep her kindness and compassion, she'll need them but by the same token when things fall out as they so often do its like she gets lost in a fog. I know it takes time as well to figure all these things out but unfortunately thats not a luxury alot of us have, you have to pick it up and pick it up fast to hang in there. I'm not sure time is on her side.
I feel badly. I know what its like to want something so desperately and have it shot out from under you and as badly as I don't want that to happen to her and as hard as im trying to get her squared away I walk away each evening feeling a lil more deflated than the day before. I tried today to explain to her that while I know she wants this that she's really going to have to pick up the pace if she's going to stay and that she REALLY needs to understand that this simply may not be for her, at least not at this time. We're on a time limit..and frankly I think i'm more stressed about that fact than she is. Which is a whole different issue, for lack of a better term i'm not sure she feels that sense of urgency both for herself and for the calls we handle.
I spose it's like outside of the drama palace only the strong survive? somehow tho that just doesn't make me feel better; the traits we need and should want people to have I thinks sometimes get lost on the cynical side of the job we do but without it we wouldn't survive.
Posted 10/18/2007 10:53:35 PM
I'd like to think that in my line of work that in some small way I make a difference.
I realize that I am not rolling around in a patrol car or bandaging wounds on the side of the road but I am trying my best to get people the help they so desperately want and need to the best of my ability and hopefully bring them some comfort in the interim.
Much like any other line of work it gets frustrating and sometimes seems like its just going thru the motions some days; however this particular line of work is not for everyone. It takes a certain "type" of person to be able to even do this job let alone stand the test of time within it. We each cope in our own ways and in some ways it takes on its own life within our life. Until you have done this kind of work there really is no way to describe it so that you understand what truly goes into it and what you take out of it on a daily basis.
I am currently attempting to train a part time dispatcher who has never ever done this kind of work before. On top of this, she's extremely young and as desperately as she wants to do this job I'm just not sure it's going to happen for her. She's very sweet and kind hearted and its not that those particular traits are bad things however you can't be timid in this job you've got to be able to jump in with both feet and take charge; its almost like a scare house on halloween; not for the faint of heart.
I want her to keep her kindness and compassion, she'll need them but by the same token when things fall out as they so often do its like she gets lost in a fog. I know it takes time as well to figure all these things out but unfortunately thats not a luxury alot of us have, you have to pick it up and pick it up fast to hang in there. I'm not sure time is on her side.
I feel badly. I know what its like to want something so desperately and have it shot out from under you and as badly as I don't want that to happen to her and as hard as im trying to get her squared away I walk away each evening feeling a lil more deflated than the day before. I tried today to explain to her that while I know she wants this that she's really going to have to pick up the pace if she's going to stay and that she REALLY needs to understand that this simply may not be for her, at least not at this time. We're on a time limit..and frankly I think i'm more stressed about that fact than she is. Which is a whole different issue, for lack of a better term i'm not sure she feels that sense of urgency both for herself and for the calls we handle.
I spose it's like outside of the drama palace only the strong survive? somehow tho that just doesn't make me feel better; the traits we need and should want people to have I thinks sometimes get lost on the cynical side of the job we do but without it we wouldn't survive.
Rants, Swears & @#$%&*!: Loose lips and other vicious rumors
Posted 10/17/2007 10:56:43 PM
Is it my imagination or at what point did it become taboo for a husband and wife to discuss work? Apparently I missed a memo about this.
Don't get me wrong I understand that there are couples that do not discuss work by choice and that is their perogative; however my husband and I talk about everything! We don't keep secrets from each other about anything. We may not like what the other one has to say or what they think, but it doesn't stop us from putting it all out there either.
Apparently my phone calls with my husband, at work are being monitored. While I wasn't entirely surprised by this at the same time, it pissed me off. I suppose I could understand it if some type of top secret information was being shared between us but we're not discussing anything that isn't already common knowledge and our opinions of them. Last I checked this is not criminal activity; however I was told irregardless that I'm not to do this. Fine, whatever; however the flip side of this is I'm fairly certain that no one else is being monitored. So therefore I am left to draw the conclusion that I am, simply because my husband works for a different department and by god the common knowledge at some point has become secret squirrel shit that no one can know; even tho joe shmuck public knows more than we do!!! As well as apparently at some point we became the ONLY two people in the entire county that are talking about this to each other, so how everyone else knows is beyond me!!! But I'm just a lowly peon what do I know??!!
Sometimes the drama in house at the aslym is as ridiculous as the drama outside the aslym from the nutz trying to get in!
And to top off my fabulous day, I got the royal shaft on the schedule. See some time ago I switched with someone to ensure that I got a weekend off that didn't interfere with someone else's schedule as well as that I would be home most evenings with my kids. Today, I find out, without even so much as a heads up that since the person I switched with no longer works there that my switch was null and void and therefore I was reverted back to the schedule I was due to go to. (our shifts rotate every couple of months) Now don't get me wrong I will work whatever I'm spose to but I wasn't given a heads up, no opportunity to see if someone else would be willing to trade shifts (that everyone else was allowed to do) or anything! This as the person that does the schedules sat directly in front of me today making the schedule and never so much as uttered a word!
I was pissed and floored. I have made so many accomodations and fallen thru my ass to make sure that when that person wanted off I covered, when they wanted to leave early; I covered etc etc, and this is the thanks I get??? Well needless to say those accomodations have stopped as I am sure that the person that will now be working that particular shift will NOT be as accomidating as I have been and yanno ya get whatcha give...cest la vie! As best I can tell that particular shift has been done away with without warning as "we are not currently at full staff" Therefore meaning that, that particular person (who made the schedule) will be working the majority of the shift by themselves and this generally isn't done with the most postive of dispositions.
Course who am I to talk I spose, right now my dispostion isn't real postive either, matter of fact it's down right foul.
Posted 10/17/2007 10:56:43 PM
Is it my imagination or at what point did it become taboo for a husband and wife to discuss work? Apparently I missed a memo about this.
Don't get me wrong I understand that there are couples that do not discuss work by choice and that is their perogative; however my husband and I talk about everything! We don't keep secrets from each other about anything. We may not like what the other one has to say or what they think, but it doesn't stop us from putting it all out there either.
Apparently my phone calls with my husband, at work are being monitored. While I wasn't entirely surprised by this at the same time, it pissed me off. I suppose I could understand it if some type of top secret information was being shared between us but we're not discussing anything that isn't already common knowledge and our opinions of them. Last I checked this is not criminal activity; however I was told irregardless that I'm not to do this. Fine, whatever; however the flip side of this is I'm fairly certain that no one else is being monitored. So therefore I am left to draw the conclusion that I am, simply because my husband works for a different department and by god the common knowledge at some point has become secret squirrel shit that no one can know; even tho joe shmuck public knows more than we do!!! As well as apparently at some point we became the ONLY two people in the entire county that are talking about this to each other, so how everyone else knows is beyond me!!! But I'm just a lowly peon what do I know??!!
Sometimes the drama in house at the aslym is as ridiculous as the drama outside the aslym from the nutz trying to get in!
And to top off my fabulous day, I got the royal shaft on the schedule. See some time ago I switched with someone to ensure that I got a weekend off that didn't interfere with someone else's schedule as well as that I would be home most evenings with my kids. Today, I find out, without even so much as a heads up that since the person I switched with no longer works there that my switch was null and void and therefore I was reverted back to the schedule I was due to go to. (our shifts rotate every couple of months) Now don't get me wrong I will work whatever I'm spose to but I wasn't given a heads up, no opportunity to see if someone else would be willing to trade shifts (that everyone else was allowed to do) or anything! This as the person that does the schedules sat directly in front of me today making the schedule and never so much as uttered a word!
I was pissed and floored. I have made so many accomodations and fallen thru my ass to make sure that when that person wanted off I covered, when they wanted to leave early; I covered etc etc, and this is the thanks I get??? Well needless to say those accomodations have stopped as I am sure that the person that will now be working that particular shift will NOT be as accomidating as I have been and yanno ya get whatcha give...cest la vie! As best I can tell that particular shift has been done away with without warning as "we are not currently at full staff" Therefore meaning that, that particular person (who made the schedule) will be working the majority of the shift by themselves and this generally isn't done with the most postive of dispositions.
Course who am I to talk I spose, right now my dispostion isn't real postive either, matter of fact it's down right foul.
Just Because: Karma is a beautiful thing!
Posted 10/13/2007 3:53:49 PM
And yanno it truly is. We've all affected someone else in our lives. Perhaps in a positive way sometimes not so much. Each day we touch people by our example, by our mood, our smile orlack there of, etc etc.
Some people are genuinely postive optimistic people; others pessimists and others are just mean spirited, nothing good ever happens to them and they tend to delight in the misery of others.
I'm inclined to think that I am a cyinical optimist..heh ; ) I do totally realize that in itself that is an oxymoron but it does tend to sum me up in a nutshell. I believe that there is good in people, but today its few and far between. Yes I am jaded from my own circumstances and environment but too am pleasantly surprised when people overcome those things to extend a kind a genuine wish or effort to another.
The thing I think I've come to realize is that the people that are "entitled" to be bitter and mean spirited..aren't. Those that have absolutely no reason to be...are. Why is this? I don't understand that however here is where we arrive back at Karma being the beautiful thing. I think for most of us our life balances out. Bad things happen, good things happen. Its the nature of things, but these folks..well lets just say if its not bad their not happy for themselves or others.
I know just such a person like this (actually I know more than that however this week its just one that his karma has come around to bite him right off in his self righteous ass)
Earlier this week he threatened my husband. Stated that he wouldn't back him up even if requested. Then a couple days later has some issues with his wife that a complete other agency had to be called in to intervene. Now they have a young child and I don't wish anything bad upon that child nor them, however let me say that his karma has come back to revisit him. He has messed with the public, creating more havoc than he's broken up and now its his turn to walk a mile in the shoes due to his own arrogance and for lack of a better term stupidity and meaness.
I don't wish bad upon him however I don't feel sorry for him either. He's getting exactly what he deserves as do most folks that end up in the exact same position due to the same ignorance and arrogance. Its that mean streak come back to haunt them.
Some days, Karma is a beautiful thing.It's not that I wish bad things on people however we all get what we give. Do we have bad days, sure we do, but when its your way of life its a different story. When you've been so mean and hateful and it finally comes back to revisit your house, well I guess its that whole "people in glass houses".
Posted 10/13/2007 3:53:49 PM
And yanno it truly is. We've all affected someone else in our lives. Perhaps in a positive way sometimes not so much. Each day we touch people by our example, by our mood, our smile orlack there of, etc etc.
Some people are genuinely postive optimistic people; others pessimists and others are just mean spirited, nothing good ever happens to them and they tend to delight in the misery of others.
I'm inclined to think that I am a cyinical optimist..heh ; ) I do totally realize that in itself that is an oxymoron but it does tend to sum me up in a nutshell. I believe that there is good in people, but today its few and far between. Yes I am jaded from my own circumstances and environment but too am pleasantly surprised when people overcome those things to extend a kind a genuine wish or effort to another.
The thing I think I've come to realize is that the people that are "entitled" to be bitter and mean spirited..aren't. Those that have absolutely no reason to be...are. Why is this? I don't understand that however here is where we arrive back at Karma being the beautiful thing. I think for most of us our life balances out. Bad things happen, good things happen. Its the nature of things, but these folks..well lets just say if its not bad their not happy for themselves or others.
I know just such a person like this (actually I know more than that however this week its just one that his karma has come around to bite him right off in his self righteous ass)
Earlier this week he threatened my husband. Stated that he wouldn't back him up even if requested. Then a couple days later has some issues with his wife that a complete other agency had to be called in to intervene. Now they have a young child and I don't wish anything bad upon that child nor them, however let me say that his karma has come back to revisit him. He has messed with the public, creating more havoc than he's broken up and now its his turn to walk a mile in the shoes due to his own arrogance and for lack of a better term stupidity and meaness.
I don't wish bad upon him however I don't feel sorry for him either. He's getting exactly what he deserves as do most folks that end up in the exact same position due to the same ignorance and arrogance. Its that mean streak come back to haunt them.
Some days, Karma is a beautiful thing.It's not that I wish bad things on people however we all get what we give. Do we have bad days, sure we do, but when its your way of life its a different story. When you've been so mean and hateful and it finally comes back to revisit your house, well I guess its that whole "people in glass houses".
Wanderings of a Lost Mind: a redneck & her truck soon parted
Posted 10/9/2007 10:29:46 PM
I LOVE my truck. 4 yrs ago my husband bought me a dodge truck for our anniversary. I'm quite attached to her and have not had one single problem with her since we bought her; that is until last night.
I left my shift temporarily to run go grab something to eat and she was working just fine; but when it came time to leave at midnight it was a whole different story. I haul my tired self out to the truck and slide the key in the ignition, she lights up like she's going to crank right up, but of course this was a tease, then she scared the crap outta me.
She didn't crank, she went dark, completely and utterly shut down on me. No nothing, no lights, no radio, no electric locks just this lil blinking red light between the guages staring at me and making me insane with trying to figure out what the hell it is! Well lucky for moi the hubby was getting off his shift at the same time and I call him and tell him that I am currently marooned at the s.o. with a lil red blinking light. While waiting for him to come haulin ass thru town, I break out the owners manual and begin to read....
I find that the lil red blinking light is the "anti theft" thingy...here's the catch...I DON'T HAVE ANY ANTI THEFT THINGY'S ON MY TRUCK!!!
Well....after a couple deputies, officers and least one jailer decided we just needed to remove the battery cables to reset it (which we did 4 times with the same response each time..imagine that) we finally went home at approx 3 am with my precious baby still sitting in the parking lot at the s.o.
I felt like i'd left one of my kids behind or something!
So this a.m. after only getting 3 hrs sleep we head back to the s.o. so I can start my shift and the hubby can attempt to figure out wth is wrong with my baby. (which let me say that even if we had done this the night before we couldn't have changed the outcome as this town shuts down at 10 pm!) so after putting a meter on my battery and bringing out a jump box we find indeed my battery is for caca and as my hubby removes it one of the posts falls off!! Nice eh! and there wasn't even any corosion!
We get my brand new $85 battery (which better work like a damn scalded ape for that price) into her and she's off and running like I know she can. (Shes outrun the cops at least once! ; ) ) So now that the flashes of having to be violated by the dealership are gone I can finally sleep tonight.
Course that damn second wind is creeping up on me...but then it could just be one of the dogs with gas.
Posted 10/9/2007 10:29:46 PM
I LOVE my truck. 4 yrs ago my husband bought me a dodge truck for our anniversary. I'm quite attached to her and have not had one single problem with her since we bought her; that is until last night.
I left my shift temporarily to run go grab something to eat and she was working just fine; but when it came time to leave at midnight it was a whole different story. I haul my tired self out to the truck and slide the key in the ignition, she lights up like she's going to crank right up, but of course this was a tease, then she scared the crap outta me.
She didn't crank, she went dark, completely and utterly shut down on me. No nothing, no lights, no radio, no electric locks just this lil blinking red light between the guages staring at me and making me insane with trying to figure out what the hell it is! Well lucky for moi the hubby was getting off his shift at the same time and I call him and tell him that I am currently marooned at the s.o. with a lil red blinking light. While waiting for him to come haulin ass thru town, I break out the owners manual and begin to read....
I find that the lil red blinking light is the "anti theft" thingy...here's the catch...I DON'T HAVE ANY ANTI THEFT THINGY'S ON MY TRUCK!!!
Well....after a couple deputies, officers and least one jailer decided we just needed to remove the battery cables to reset it (which we did 4 times with the same response each time..imagine that) we finally went home at approx 3 am with my precious baby still sitting in the parking lot at the s.o.
I felt like i'd left one of my kids behind or something!
So this a.m. after only getting 3 hrs sleep we head back to the s.o. so I can start my shift and the hubby can attempt to figure out wth is wrong with my baby. (which let me say that even if we had done this the night before we couldn't have changed the outcome as this town shuts down at 10 pm!) so after putting a meter on my battery and bringing out a jump box we find indeed my battery is for caca and as my hubby removes it one of the posts falls off!! Nice eh! and there wasn't even any corosion!
We get my brand new $85 battery (which better work like a damn scalded ape for that price) into her and she's off and running like I know she can. (Shes outrun the cops at least once! ; ) ) So now that the flashes of having to be violated by the dealership are gone I can finally sleep tonight.
Course that damn second wind is creeping up on me...but then it could just be one of the dogs with gas.
Wanderings of a Lost Mind: Redneck Construction Plans
Posted 10/7/2007 10:55:20 PM
Well today between rain showers we started construction on the horse's barn.
It was redneck construction at its highest point. No one is dressed appropriately to be working with power tools to begin with; Shorts, Tank tops and flip flops. To accessorize we've got power saws, nail guns and one chain saw. No danger there at all. We've got an 8' ladder and a 6' ladder with no possibility of anyone falling off them.
We have three guys, full of attitude and testosterone atop ladders and weilding a chain saw; it was like watching the redneck version of the texas chain saw massacre before the beginning; all my mother and I lacked was popcorn. We had the standard coffee and a ring side seat for all the action!
Once the agreement had been finally reached about the slant on the roof and exactly how far down that needed to go we were off and running. Horses promptly moved to the other pen and we're working.
My youngest was not real keen about climbing to the top of an 8' ladder to help, as his dad is atop the ladder with the nail gun in hand; teetering on 3 legs saying "look at me it's okay, you'll be alright!" How does one combat that kind of thinking???
At one point even my redneck self could take no more and set off to clean up poop, it was just easier than watching the inevitable tumble that was coming....
altho the tumble did come with a warning: If your going to fall my dear at least hide it till you get to work and then fall out of the patrol car at least I can get something for my trouble that way!!!!!
I'm sporting a keen blister for my poop trouble and the framing is not yet done, as in typical redneck style they ran out of materials and will hit it again tomorrow.
At least then i'll be at work and will be able to send the ambulance instead of call for it.
Posted 10/7/2007 10:55:20 PM
Well today between rain showers we started construction on the horse's barn.
It was redneck construction at its highest point. No one is dressed appropriately to be working with power tools to begin with; Shorts, Tank tops and flip flops. To accessorize we've got power saws, nail guns and one chain saw. No danger there at all. We've got an 8' ladder and a 6' ladder with no possibility of anyone falling off them.
We have three guys, full of attitude and testosterone atop ladders and weilding a chain saw; it was like watching the redneck version of the texas chain saw massacre before the beginning; all my mother and I lacked was popcorn. We had the standard coffee and a ring side seat for all the action!
Once the agreement had been finally reached about the slant on the roof and exactly how far down that needed to go we were off and running. Horses promptly moved to the other pen and we're working.
My youngest was not real keen about climbing to the top of an 8' ladder to help, as his dad is atop the ladder with the nail gun in hand; teetering on 3 legs saying "look at me it's okay, you'll be alright!" How does one combat that kind of thinking???
At one point even my redneck self could take no more and set off to clean up poop, it was just easier than watching the inevitable tumble that was coming....
altho the tumble did come with a warning: If your going to fall my dear at least hide it till you get to work and then fall out of the patrol car at least I can get something for my trouble that way!!!!!
I'm sporting a keen blister for my poop trouble and the framing is not yet done, as in typical redneck style they ran out of materials and will hit it again tomorrow.
At least then i'll be at work and will be able to send the ambulance instead of call for it.
Just Because: Cest la Vie!
Posted 10/4/2007 9:22:39 PM
Life has been busy.
As some of you know I lost my pawdner at work, so I've been working some weird hours at work lately. On top of my weird hours at work, school is back in so we've got homework and such as well to accomplish in the evenings.
The weather has been a lil better these days around here as well. It's still hot but the humidity hasn't been as sweltering therefore my mare and I have been out for some walks lately. Its our first ones since I'd gotten her. She was abused at one time before the man we got her from owned her. So I've spent the better part of the last year doing ground work with her and earning her trust before I even decided to ask her to let me ride. Its paying off I think. As I've said we've gone for a couple walks and its not been to terribly bad, she's been of the mindset that she's in control and i'm just along for the ride however today I purchased a new bit so we'll see if that changes her mindset some tomorrow morning when we go again for another walk.
Tomorrow is my youngest's birthday. He turns 9 yrs old. His cousins are coming to stay for at least part of the weekend so he'll have play buddies all weekend. Makes me feel old every year between him and his brother having birthdays. I wish I was half as excited as he was about it. They all grow up, this I know, just not ready for it to happen quite as fast as it does seem to happen.
Work is as usual I think finally again. For awhile there it seemed that it was high drama all the time at the sanitarium, I was ready for it to be just the normal b.s. drama. Things come in waves i've noticed. We've since moved from high drama to inquests. I don't much care for either but I spose its the nature of things. Lives come into the world and others go out to make room its just the nature of the beast. The politics are the same altho there are some things going on with the hubby's department that leave a nasty taste in the mouth but guess all can't be wine and roses all the time. Less of course your drunk on the wine and someone else is clubbing you over the head with the roses. I personally prefer daisies but that's just me.
I spose life is alot like the difference between roses and daisies one is elegant and complicated requires alot of attention the other simple and easier and requires a lil less attention but still needs some tlc to get by. Mebbe that makes me a gardenia.
Posted 10/4/2007 9:22:39 PM
Life has been busy.
As some of you know I lost my pawdner at work, so I've been working some weird hours at work lately. On top of my weird hours at work, school is back in so we've got homework and such as well to accomplish in the evenings.
The weather has been a lil better these days around here as well. It's still hot but the humidity hasn't been as sweltering therefore my mare and I have been out for some walks lately. Its our first ones since I'd gotten her. She was abused at one time before the man we got her from owned her. So I've spent the better part of the last year doing ground work with her and earning her trust before I even decided to ask her to let me ride. Its paying off I think. As I've said we've gone for a couple walks and its not been to terribly bad, she's been of the mindset that she's in control and i'm just along for the ride however today I purchased a new bit so we'll see if that changes her mindset some tomorrow morning when we go again for another walk.
Tomorrow is my youngest's birthday. He turns 9 yrs old. His cousins are coming to stay for at least part of the weekend so he'll have play buddies all weekend. Makes me feel old every year between him and his brother having birthdays. I wish I was half as excited as he was about it. They all grow up, this I know, just not ready for it to happen quite as fast as it does seem to happen.
Work is as usual I think finally again. For awhile there it seemed that it was high drama all the time at the sanitarium, I was ready for it to be just the normal b.s. drama. Things come in waves i've noticed. We've since moved from high drama to inquests. I don't much care for either but I spose its the nature of things. Lives come into the world and others go out to make room its just the nature of the beast. The politics are the same altho there are some things going on with the hubby's department that leave a nasty taste in the mouth but guess all can't be wine and roses all the time. Less of course your drunk on the wine and someone else is clubbing you over the head with the roses. I personally prefer daisies but that's just me.
I spose life is alot like the difference between roses and daisies one is elegant and complicated requires alot of attention the other simple and easier and requires a lil less attention but still needs some tlc to get by. Mebbe that makes me a gardenia.
Rants, Swears & @#$%&*!: Redemption
Posted 9/17/2007 12:16:42 PM
Thru my own tears I need to throw my demons to the fray so forgive the heaviness of what I'm about to write.
This morning my husband called me for some advice and a heads up. My husband is an officer and was at the time dealing with a middle aged woman who'd been violently raped in the wee hours of this a.m.
I'm that odd bird that has been raped more than once in her lifetime. Rape isn't something that you just deal with and tuck away as tho it was one of lifes little lessons. Its that ugly piece of luggage that you carry around with you every day. Some days its a small carry on bag and other days its a semi truck that you move with a harness around your neck if at all.
She wouldn't let any of the male officers talk to her or deal with her and there wasn't any female officers on at the time. I'm not a licensed officer so I knew there wasn't anything if at all I could do help her other than try to help my husband to understand what she is going thru and deal with her accordingly.
I've tried to figure out "why" these things happened to me. Which is one of those things that are an effort in futility, you never know why and won't. I've been told that what happened only made me a stronger person in the end, and im sure to some degree it did but thats not good enough for me. I've tried to find some sort of redemption for what happened to me. To find a positive way to turn it, spin it so that I can move my mountain a little easier and for the life of me I can't figure out what to do with it. To use it to help other people try to find their way thru it and yet I feel as tho I am marking time in a wind tunnel. Not going anywhere but still moving.
I spent the better part of 6 yrs sleeping my way thru the depression, embarassment, shame, etc so that I didn't have to look my green eyed monster in the face and deal with it. I was fortunate enough to have a husband that didn't let me fall any further into the hole I'd dug myself and when he wasn't around my very dearest friend and sister was. They threw me a lifeline and helped me find my way back out of the hole, alot of women aren't that lucky.
My heart aches for this woman. I've walked in her shoes. They had our female officer on her way finally and she's been fully trained and knows all the right things to say legally, but hasn't walked in her shoes. In my opinion, it matters. It helps to talk to people that understand the roller coaster that some one goes thru initially and continues on even after those first few hours. You can say and do all the right things, but at the end of the day that women is alone with her demons to face them alone and thats when it matters. When she knows that she has someone to pull her back from the fray before she straddles the edge of what feels like total insanity.
We all have our own demons to face, crosses to bear; this one is mine and while I know there are women out there to numerous to count that carry the very same burden some days, its that utter feeling of alone that is almost as heartbreaking as the act itself. Your never the same, you can't go back, its not your fault yet you can't find the redemption in your soul to make you feel whole/sane again. The inner battle some days are overwhelming and exhausting.
I'm not sure that anyone ever "copes" with rape. I think rape is like loosing part of yourself, part of you dies and you can't get it back, make it right again, you don't cope you just go on however broken and lost on the path you are; you just keep going with the prayer that at some point you find the path again and hope that along the way you'll find gentle souls to help pick you up and dust you off and help you carry your burden on the days when you just don't have the will to go it alone.
For all the women out there that walk this path, from one to another my most sincere love for you and gentlest of wishes on the days when your tears fall and your heart breaks for who you used to be know that someone is along the path to cry with you, listen to you and help you carry your burden and that above all else
You are beautiful you are strong and your a survivor!
Posted 9/17/2007 12:16:42 PM
Thru my own tears I need to throw my demons to the fray so forgive the heaviness of what I'm about to write.
This morning my husband called me for some advice and a heads up. My husband is an officer and was at the time dealing with a middle aged woman who'd been violently raped in the wee hours of this a.m.
I'm that odd bird that has been raped more than once in her lifetime. Rape isn't something that you just deal with and tuck away as tho it was one of lifes little lessons. Its that ugly piece of luggage that you carry around with you every day. Some days its a small carry on bag and other days its a semi truck that you move with a harness around your neck if at all.
She wouldn't let any of the male officers talk to her or deal with her and there wasn't any female officers on at the time. I'm not a licensed officer so I knew there wasn't anything if at all I could do help her other than try to help my husband to understand what she is going thru and deal with her accordingly.
I've tried to figure out "why" these things happened to me. Which is one of those things that are an effort in futility, you never know why and won't. I've been told that what happened only made me a stronger person in the end, and im sure to some degree it did but thats not good enough for me. I've tried to find some sort of redemption for what happened to me. To find a positive way to turn it, spin it so that I can move my mountain a little easier and for the life of me I can't figure out what to do with it. To use it to help other people try to find their way thru it and yet I feel as tho I am marking time in a wind tunnel. Not going anywhere but still moving.
I spent the better part of 6 yrs sleeping my way thru the depression, embarassment, shame, etc so that I didn't have to look my green eyed monster in the face and deal with it. I was fortunate enough to have a husband that didn't let me fall any further into the hole I'd dug myself and when he wasn't around my very dearest friend and sister was. They threw me a lifeline and helped me find my way back out of the hole, alot of women aren't that lucky.
My heart aches for this woman. I've walked in her shoes. They had our female officer on her way finally and she's been fully trained and knows all the right things to say legally, but hasn't walked in her shoes. In my opinion, it matters. It helps to talk to people that understand the roller coaster that some one goes thru initially and continues on even after those first few hours. You can say and do all the right things, but at the end of the day that women is alone with her demons to face them alone and thats when it matters. When she knows that she has someone to pull her back from the fray before she straddles the edge of what feels like total insanity.
We all have our own demons to face, crosses to bear; this one is mine and while I know there are women out there to numerous to count that carry the very same burden some days, its that utter feeling of alone that is almost as heartbreaking as the act itself. Your never the same, you can't go back, its not your fault yet you can't find the redemption in your soul to make you feel whole/sane again. The inner battle some days are overwhelming and exhausting.
I'm not sure that anyone ever "copes" with rape. I think rape is like loosing part of yourself, part of you dies and you can't get it back, make it right again, you don't cope you just go on however broken and lost on the path you are; you just keep going with the prayer that at some point you find the path again and hope that along the way you'll find gentle souls to help pick you up and dust you off and help you carry your burden on the days when you just don't have the will to go it alone.
For all the women out there that walk this path, from one to another my most sincere love for you and gentlest of wishes on the days when your tears fall and your heart breaks for who you used to be know that someone is along the path to cry with you, listen to you and help you carry your burden and that above all else
You are beautiful you are strong and your a survivor!
FeedBack
Monsieur
4/2/2008 10:12:56 AM
Cowgirls_Caddy
2/2/2008 5:21:07 AM
Your music thing has lots of errors...need to redo...fun fun joy joy...toodles dc
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/30/2008 3:31:41 PM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/30/2008 5:15:38 AM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/24/2008 5:33:11 AM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/23/2008 6:22:25 PM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/23/2008 9:34:02 AM
Monsieur
1/18/2008 10:39:41 PM
I just want to stop by and let you know that I am still hanging in there, sorry missed you the other day. Take care my dearest friend...
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/18/2008 3:21:43 AM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/15/2008 6:04:11 AM
What the f*&# OVER! thanks that is stuck in my brain....OVER. toodles DC
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/15/2008 6:01:33 AM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/12/2008 9:58:46 AM
See unfair question, I don't know what blinkies look like...lol...toodles DC
Monsieur
1/11/2008 12:48:22 PM
piper
1/11/2008 10:48:40 AM
GEEZ, you are on my mind lately.... what are you up to? Don't work too hard lady!!!!
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/10/2008 7:18:40 PM
See No BLINKIES! I rest my case...lol
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/10/2008 7:15:16 PM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/10/2008 7:14:47 PM
Monsieur
1/8/2008 11:54:19 PM
piper
1/8/2008 9:47:30 PM
Thanks alot - you made me cry with your poem and article. You are the tops lady and I thank you every day for what you do!
Monsieur
1/7/2008 9:03:43 PM
4/2/2008 10:12:56 AM
Cowgirls_Caddy
2/2/2008 5:21:07 AM
Your music thing has lots of errors...need to redo...fun fun joy joy...toodles dc
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/30/2008 3:31:41 PM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/30/2008 5:15:38 AM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/24/2008 5:33:11 AM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/23/2008 6:22:25 PM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/23/2008 9:34:02 AM
Monsieur
1/18/2008 10:39:41 PM
I just want to stop by and let you know that I am still hanging in there, sorry missed you the other day. Take care my dearest friend...
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/18/2008 3:21:43 AM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/15/2008 6:04:11 AM
What the f*&# OVER! thanks that is stuck in my brain....OVER. toodles DC
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/15/2008 6:01:33 AM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/12/2008 9:58:46 AM
See unfair question, I don't know what blinkies look like...lol...toodles DC
Monsieur
1/11/2008 12:48:22 PM
piper
1/11/2008 10:48:40 AM
GEEZ, you are on my mind lately.... what are you up to? Don't work too hard lady!!!!
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/10/2008 7:18:40 PM
See No BLINKIES! I rest my case...lol
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/10/2008 7:15:16 PM
Cowgirls_Caddy
1/10/2008 7:14:47 PM
Monsieur
1/8/2008 11:54:19 PM
piper
1/8/2008 9:47:30 PM
Thanks alot - you made me cry with your poem and article. You are the tops lady and I thank you every day for what you do!
Monsieur
1/7/2008 9:03:43 PM
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