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where do i go from here?
Profile

mother is whom i am. got another kicking in the oven.

Age: 26

Gender: F

Location: in the rooms of my insainty.

baby announcement

his name is..... wait if u want to know his real name and ur a friend i'll send a private message. but for now lets call my baby BOY DJ, he was born oct. 06 2008 at 7:40 pm. weighing 8 lb 9 oz. and 21 in long. healthy as can be i'm soooooo happy. diabell is majorly possesive. she thinks he's her baby and wants to take care of him.
(question how do i add a pic?)


sleep or there in lack or: i've been logged in how long?

i cant belive i've been logged in this long. i could have sworn that i logged out. but it was when i couldnt even get a blog to post or had trouble logging in. it was all those spammers so maybe it couldnt log me ou. and so avoiding this site till all the spammers left. how long ago was that???? my belly is huge. but yet i look smaller then sum that are not as far along as i. i've been working out for almost the whole pregancy. if i was sitting down u'd never know i was prego till i stood up and u could c the belly. i missed every one. hope u are all doing well. give your self a hug from me.

is bi polar really that bad? SUCH OUT RAGE!!

so i go in to my first appt. at the obgyn i tell them i'm bi polar. she ask if i have other childern i tell her yes then she ask if i still have custody. like wtf mate. what in the world. cps came and went twice well i was in the slum of my life and both times they found nothing wrong with diabell that says she is not in a good place.so is sum1 w/ bipoloar not allowd to care for their child??!?!?!??!?!? of course i'm not medicated. cant aford it or the risks. but i told her everytime w/ iron suppliment that people cant tell. so she wants me to go to a shrink n c if i need meds. of course they r going to say i need it. bi polar scares ppl n how eles do they make money? i'm not a bad mom even when i feel like i'm not. no 1 eles knows wut my baby needs except my hubby. there r things other moms & dads cant give her.

y is it so bad?

i'm happily married to a wonderful man. but at times neglect comes into play.we take each other for granted i think. so y do i not feel guilty for wanting a man on the side? i'd be happy if he brought a woman home to share, being that i'm bi. but he is not brave enough to do that.

the end of the world as we know it

i can tell when i dont take my iron. i get majorly deppressed. with the baby it drops faster then i've ever know it to. so i'm a fuck up. i dont do wut i need to. and life gets harder and harder. i give up. life sux. i know it'll get better. i know it'll get worse. but cum on! all i want is a little peace. i have good days just like n-e body but there is only so much trying i can do.

days i sit alone

he is all i think about
he is i really know 2 care about.
he is all i want
he is y i think
or care
or want
is cuz i cant have him
or is it cuz he doesnt want me n- more.


where does my heart lie?

i defnitly luv my hubby. so wud do i feel 4 my crush? my heart still skips a beat when ever i catch site of him. my throat still closes. he is still the 1 i think about b4 i fall aleep. my heart aches when he belives i would hurt him. i feel the loinlliness that he is bord of me and wants me no longer. wud he donud no is that i wood die protecting him. i relize i have it bad. n he moved on. so y cant let him go? i tried everything. tried taking it out on other guys. didnt work. tried throwing myelf into my marriage. didnt work. tried being mad at him. didnt work. tried no talking 2 him. it made it worse. if he knew how i realy felt wud wood he do?

whad do i say

ids ``````been 4 ever since i wrote. my heart is broken.

sane progress log: i've come 2 the conclsion.

i must b ugly. my husband doesnt want me. my cush i guess cant stand me. not even 4 a hug. my life sux.

to be a writer: oh yeah heres a poem

i have another poem from my childhood.
THE MACHINE WORLD
TIME WE SO CALL MEASURE
TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK
DAY TILL NIGHT
WHEN ALL IT DOES
IS MOVE SPACE
TO ANOTHER PLACE
NOTHING CAN STAND IT'S TEST
BUT THE CENTER OF OUR NEED
OF GRAVITY & LAW BUT PLEASE DON'T FORGET HEAT
WITHOUT IT'S OPISITE
NOTHING CAN EXIST, TO THEORY POINT
COMBINE THE TWO EXIST MORE POWER
THEN NOW WHAT DOES HE SAY ABOUT THE PLAY
ON RIGHT AND WRONG
1+2 4 ALL THINK NOT ONLY LIGHT PLY E=MC2


way to go luv69

she just messagened me. she has quit cutting her self. and she even threw away her blade. i'm so proud of her!!! she just been to busy. she is awsome.

point of my obsession; ted (short for teddybear)

i'm suposed to be happy that nothing happen

i'm suposed to be happy that i'm not grabbed by the thought of you.

i have lost nothing

yet i lost u

i have my life flowing through my veins

yet the tears i dare not cry flow through my veins as well.

you and i break no rules

all should be well

yet i feel alone.

i'll not bother u no more.

u've moved on

where does that leave me?


to be a writer: poetry

warning this was written when i was younger its rather dorky i but i haven't written poetry in like a long time.
I CAN'T FIGHT A FIST
BUT I CAN FIT FOR A HEART
I CANT FIGHT A WAR
BUTT I CAN FIGHT FOR PEACE
I CANT FIGHT AN ENEMY
BUT I CAN FIGHT FOR A FRIEND
IF I FIGHT ETERNITY
I WOULD SURLY LOSE
BUT IF I FIGHT FOR LOVE THEN I KNOW I SURLEY WIN


FeedBack
cheric
10/31/2008 7:23:39 AM

glitter-graphics.com

cheric
10/10/2008 11:57:18 AM

glitter-graphics.com

cheric
10/3/2008 10:32:02 AM

glitter-graphics.com

cheric
9/25/2008 8:06:57 AM


Bunny
9/24/2008 10:04:55 AM
Hi how are you? How is diabell? It has been way to long I hope she is doing well. I miss her posts.

cheric
9/9/2008 9:44:20 AM

glitter-graphics.com

cheric
9/3/2008 4:30:20 PM

glitter-graphics.com

cheric
9/2/2008 9:43:56 AM

glitter-graphics.com

cheric
8/30/2008 2:47:17 PM

glitter-graphics.com

cheric
8/28/2008 2:09:10 PM

glitter-graphics.com

cheric
8/26/2008 8:54:35 AM

glitter-graphics.com

flappertball
8/23/2008 9:56:27 PM
Your writing is very honest. That can not be bad. How's life going lately? When are you going to have your baby?

cheric
8/18/2008 1:52:15 PM

glitter-graphics.com

cheric
8/18/2008 1:52:02 PM
Thanks for the add! :)))

cheric
8/13/2008 2:24:23 PM
Hi I'm back... it's been a while, I had some personal issues that I had to resolve... But I've missed you very much! Wonder if you could accept my friend invite? Thanks and hugs!

Mistletoe
6/21/2008 8:38:52 AM
Hi. :o) I'm doing great, i got the whole house to myself and i'm enjoying the peace and quiet. :o) What about you? How has your weekend started?

Wyvrx
6/19/2008 6:37:29 AM
*hugs to you* You're a wonderful friend :)

Wyvrx
6/11/2008 8:21:08 AM
*waves* And hello to you! *long distance hugs* :)


Wyvrx
6/3/2008 8:41:14 AM

Girly Comments & Graphics



Wyvrx
6/3/2008 8:37:25 AM
Myspace Layouts

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