Savo's Top 10 ways to lower gas prices. Posted 5/16/2008 11:45:03 AM Savo’s Top 10 Tips for saving money on gas: 10. Fill your tank with 40 dollars worth of gas. Pay the clerk 20 dollars and promise that you will quit driving when your tank is half full. Don't really quit driving until you want to. 9. Visit rummage sales. Many times you can buy lawnmowers, weed eaters, etc. that still have some gasoline in the tanks. You can siphon the gas and return the item. I always tell the person that I forgot that I was homeless and have no grass. Sometimes they even give you some spare change which you can turn into more fuel. 8. Test drive used cars. Meet the owner before you go to work. Return the car after work. Siphons are handy here too sometimes. 7. Become a spokesperson for one of the oil companies. Spokespeople for companies get free products so I bet if you were spokesperson for Shell then you would get free gas. 6. Try extra hard to buy more on days when gas is cheaper and less (or none would be better) on days when gas is not cheaper. Keep a detailed journal of daily gas prices so that your future self can come back in time and let you know which days to buy. 5. Try drilling for oil in your backyard. If you find some then someone can teach you how to make gas out of it. If you don’t find some then bury some road kill in your backyard and wait a few weeks for it to change into oil and try again. I think sometimes the road kill won’t turn into oil but that’s good too because you can trade fossils for gas sometimes. 4. Join OPEC or at least try to become friends with one of its members. Membership = discounts. 3. Light candles and place them all around the interior of your car. The hot air will lighten your car and increase gas mileage. Be careful on rainy days because a lighter car means less traction. 2. Try to drive in ways that makes your car go farther on less gasoline. 1. Coupons baby! (1) Comments

Dealing with halitosis Posted 4/17/2008 2:16:44 PM I was talking to someone who had really bad breath and I thought it might be fun to pretend that we were really having that conversation on a planet where all air smells like that. Then I realized that it would be more fun just to scream “buy some Tic Tacs moron” then run away. XOXOX Savo the Dyslexic Dog (1) Comments

Axl Rose and Chinese Democracy Posted 4/15/2008 12:40:32 PM I think Axl Rose hates me. I've thought this through and I can think of no other reason why he won't release that goddamn album. Enough is enough Axl. Whatever it was I did to you, I'm sorry. Why should millions of innocent people suffer for your irrational hatred of one person whom you've never even met? Pick up the phone and let's work this out. I also believe that Carrot-top is upset with me although I have no proof of that so I'll let this one go for now. No point making baseless accusations. Now that I really think about it, he probably doesn't. I think I'm projecting my own hatred of my inability to decide if Carrottop is all one word or two words or one hyphenated word! All my love (with double the fat), Savo the Dyslexic Dog (0) Comments

Circles and Pizza…Destroying America’s Youth Posted 4/15/2008 10:36:22 AM It’s a bad idea that we make most pizzas in the shape of a circle. Children love pizza and this makes them think that circles are the most fun and important shape. I think this must be the reason why more and more children are doing drugs. One time after I did acid, I hallucinated and saw loads and loads of circles and I thought it was hilarious. Maybe if pizzas were in the shape of octagons then my acid trip would have more of downer and I’d have more brain cells left today. Also maybe four-way stops wouldn’t be so stressful. (2) Comments

Paper Currency Needs an Overhaul. Posted 4/15/2008 10:34:12 AM Money should be made out of rice paper. I think this would be good so that in case you were ever really hungry and couldn't afford to buy any food then you could just reach in your pocket and eat your own money. I figured this out by trying to eat a twenty one time. I got an awful tummyache. To add insult to injury the lady at CVS wouldn't accept the mangled remains of the money so that I could buy some Pepto Bismo. I pleaded with her and all she did was make fun of me and ask me why I just didn't use the twenty to buy some food. Words sure hurt sometimes but not nearly as bad as a tummyache caused by a non-ricepaper printed twenty. While I'm on the topic of money, I think it's high time we stop putting the pictures of people nobody's never heard of on the front of the bills. We should replace Abraham Lincoln and George Jefferson with famous people like Eminem and Paris Hilton. The only real problem I can see is deciding who would go on which bill. You might be thinking, "Hey, I don't like Eminem". Then we could make a whole line of bills on which a person could draw a picture of their favorite celebrity. If you don't know how to draw then too bad, you're stuck Eminem! (0) Comments

Getting Blood Stains Out of Carpet. Posted 4/15/2008 10:31:33 AM I was just wondering if anyone out there knows a sure fire way to get blood stains out of carpet. I don’t have any stains right now but I believe in being prepared. “Getaway” time is no time to be looking these things up and running to the store for things that could easily be stocked beforehand. If you could help, as a thank you I will remove your name from “the list”. Wishing you were here but mostly glad you aren't, Savo the Dyslexic Dog (0) Comments

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General Comments Mistletoe Posted 4/15/2008 3:39:11 PM Hi and welcome to Newblog. Woof woof! :o) Please login to post a comment.