Computer Overhaul Posted 12/22/2008 6:44:30 AM Friends are coming over today to overhaul my computer in the hopes that we can get it to run more smoothly. Pray it survives the process. If it doesn't I will be more scarce for a while and if it does I won't be cussing my computer so often.Hope everyone has a good Saturday! (0) Comments

Computer Overhaul Posted 12/22/2008 6:43:52 AM Friends are coming over today to overhaul my computer in the hopes that we can get it to run more smoothly. Pray it survives the process. If it doesn't I will be more scarce for a while and if it does I won't be cussing my computer so often.Hope everyone has a good Saturday! (0) Comments

Computer Overhaul Posted 12/22/2008 6:43:16 AM Friends are coming over today to overhaul my computer in the hopes that we can get it to run more smoothly. Pray it survives the process. If it doesn't I will be more scarce for a while and if it does I won't be cussing my computer so often.Hope everyone has a good Saturday! (0) Comments

Wide awake Posted 12/17/2008 9:43:44 PM It is 4:30 AM and I am still bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to scream from it. Despite being good with my recent decisions I am/was still be ambushed by an the underlying depression of giving up a dream. So, I drank my healthy tea today so that I wouldn't yawn all day or end up sleeping for most of it.I don't know if this counts as a success or a backfire. I've been up for 20 hours and have been focused and productive for pretty much all 20 hours. I cleaned out another 20 lbs of paper, took out the trash, washed the dishes, finished the brochure at work, attended 2 meetings, typed up a list of lists ... How to Brunch Like a misia. . And in attempt to put myself to sleep I have taken a bath, eaten something, read several chapters, played solitaire (with real cards), and watched the Disney version of Robin Hood.I need to be up in a few hours but at this rate I'll be lucky if I manage to fall asleep before I need to be up. Some Jason Mraz lyrics. . I am now going to play some more computer solitaire in the hopes that staring at the computer screen will make me so bleary eyed that I can sleep.. (0) Comments

Lifting the last of the 2-ton weights Posted 12/15/2008 6:25:03 PM This past Friday I made a decision that lifted the last of the 2-ton weights from my shoulders and my heart. I am not going to re-take my comprehensive exams. I am not prepared to pass them and I don't intend to continue with the degree by writing a dissertation. So, why put myself through the torture of a 2-day eight hour test that will simply make me look incompetent one last time in front of my professors. I'd rather go out in a competent manner by completing the projects they have asked me to do for the writing center.Having made that decision, I felt as though I could fly. 2-tons of stress and depression and frustration finally disappeared for me. It also turned my limbo status into a positive looking forward limbo a month earlier than it would have been had I taken the comps.To complete the cure of my captivity over this issue, I finally told my parents that I would not be completing this degree. I really love my parents. I was worried about my mother's reaction, especially. But both of my parents were okay with my decision and not surprised by it. They were disappointed for me, but not in me.Right now, I am still on the wave of euphoria from having made a decision and a right decision. I still have a few people left to notify and possibly argue with, but I know it was the right decision for me. (0) Comments

Random - Weird Dreams Posted 12/10/2008 1:19:47 PM I've been having lots of very vivid and very weird dreams these past few weeks while I've been sick. Some have been anxiety dreams, about comps I'm guessing and how much I just want out of grad school and Columbia. A lot of them have been about houses, ones I've lived in, building them, etc. I think that is in direct reference to how much I'm, again ready to move, and am looking forward to a new place and hopefully buying a house in the near future. In one dream someone told me that the only way to cure his headache was with crest toothpaste.But last night, my dream was just plain weird. It was about a carnivorous blue whale trapped in an island inlet who would eat anything it could get too, like a baby hippo, birds, and a creature that was a mix between a dog and a lobster. And then it tried to eat the flowers I was holding in my hand as I leaned out over a balcony. Very weird and I have no basis for interpreting this one. Not that I try to interpret all my dreams but they do make me really wonder about my subconscious mind sometimes. (0) Comments

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