i havent written anything concrete in here for a while Posted 12/22/2008 1:14:11 AM i havent written anything concrete in here for a while. if it seems like i'm unhappy- if that's the gist you get from reading my last few entries- i'm sorry to have mislead. usually the times i remember to post something here happen to coincide with times of sudden, passing frustration or discouragement for whatever reason.yesterday was "money".ps, as you may or may not know, i DONT talk like that. but it tickles me pink when people do. :)i had two classes and was done by 2pm. i like fridays. my schedule is shaping up to be really great. i dont have that 3rd 3:20 MWF class because they're half-hour longer classes on MW, so come friday i am left with just two classes. after all that learning stuff, i hopped in the car with amanda (her FISH DIED!!! i've known them for almost as long as i've known her... about 2 years) and we went to walmart to buy, among other things, AMMO. if you're curious as to the nature of this ammo, you're just going to have to wait, because we plan to spring it on Gordon once again in a very big way. it's been too long. we were served by this cashier at Wal-Mart who all but threatened our lives after asking if we were Yankees fans and receiving, of course, an answer in the positive. red sox fans are just... over the top. tone it down, children!the purchase(s) were made, and we returned to Gordon for complimentary showers and naps. Pat and i went to CVS, and eventually swung back by campus to pick Amanda up on our way to the party in Gloucester. The party was a success as far as I can tell. There were quite a few people there; and before everyone else got there, Mike restrung my guitar for me! I helped a little but he didnt make me do it all, for which I was appropriately thankful. Ben talked to my mom, who seemed to be trying to recruit him for the position of my boyfriend. That was fun. Mike took Amanda and me out to the pond to fish! As soon as I dropped my line in, I had some action... but not a bite afterwards. Amanda caught a pickerell and that was exciting... then we threw him back in. I was priviledged to spend quality time with my brother, Amanda, John Hendricks, Jer, Mike, Ben, David Ells, Jeff Perry, and quite a few others. There is something about conversation that I love intensely. I could sit for hours over a drink and divulge about... well, many things. While at the house, I definitely wished I could stay through the night as opposed to returning for a recording session with Josh- such a rough alternative, right? I think i did a good job of convincing people in Gloucester that I was stoked for recording though, and I was.I rushed over to the studio and when Josh arrived I was blessed with another round of the above-mentioned type of conversing- it seems timeless in nature because no one involved has anywhere to be or get to aside from where they are. People stop listening-as-means-of-waiting-for-the-other-to-be-done-talking (waiting for their turn if you will) and really start to hear you and engage. Anyhow, enough. After a lot of that, there was a lot of recording happening. The wiring in the studio is pretty inconvenient but worked out. I'd been waiting, wondering, to see if I'd ever have a studio-type-night again. And, friends, what a studio night it was. We were in there till around 2:15am, laughing and screwing up and problem-solving... and i didnt have to call warren, i didnt have to run back to the palace to see if kera or dustin or winn or marge could help me figure out what was going wrong. (sometime in the last few sentences my efforts to capitalize my letters went out the window.) it was alright! and we accomplished so much. we got there between 9 and 9:15 and started recording around 10; between 10 and 2 we laid down a few guitar takes, some lead guitar takes, a BUNCH of vox tracks and a bunch of harmony tracks (featuring the engineer of the evening.) not only did we get them down, but we cut up each of those and created entire tracks that we are happy with. i also have a pretty decent idea of what i want the mix to sound like. i am so proud of myself, and i am here to say it. i did some things that i knew i'd have to do but didnt have complete faith that i could... at least in a short amount of time. but i did. i learned and relearned an INTENSE amount last night. i didnt know the potential extent of my excitement before-hand, and i am SOOO glad i recorded so that i could taste of that joy once again. more to come, ladies, fellas. more to come.and because that was so much fun, and because that kind of fun will potentially no longer exist in less than a month's time, i think i need to get josh to write a lot more songs....i didnt even have COFFEE. or rainbow treasures. yeah. i know. (0) Comments

haunted Posted 12/17/2008 5:20:05 PM haunted.last night my dream included reva, matthew, rachel, the chad mitchell of cmc, justin, and bubbles. maybe more, but i dont remember. i cant even tell you what it was about, because i feel like i went through about 9 dream sequences.i love life here. for all it's ups, downs, work, confusion, and opportunity, i'd have it no other way (...that statement might not be entirely true.)tonight i have my first recording session... be jealous, but in a nostalgic way.and before that i'm going to the house in gloucester to celebrate dan and hugh's birthdays and to enjoy the company of such wonderful people as live in the area. "cuz what you do isnt all of who you really are.."please dont see me as one dimensional. what i do is NOT all of who i am. (0) Comments

i went about it all wrong Posted 12/15/2008 10:08:40 AM i went about it all wrong. in too deep too fast. i am cursed with being unfeminine... buying books is somewhat painful. especially without my new debit card, which hasnt arrived yet.i have one class at 1:15 today. the rest is history. i'll get a jump on my work, and i dont know about tonight--- i've made the decision to stay out of the studio, to practice discipline for the times i've laid down for myself that i will be in there. i took josh in there last night, and we messed around with the setup and talked through a few of the plugins. if only warren were here.. i definitely have a few questions, even just about how the board is seemingly wired.i like spending quality time with the brother.amanda and i went to jer and john's house in gloucester to chill and to pick up her goldfish. i also like spending quality time with the jeromy and the john and the mike and the ben.it was dan lundstrom's 22nd yesterday. i drew him a card with a cassette that had tape unwound and coming out of it all over the pages. it doesnt look as cool as it sounds though.i'm going to throw money to the book store/ buy books. ciao. (0) Comments

i went about it all wrong Posted 12/15/2008 10:08:20 AM i went about it all wrong. in too deep too fast. i am cursed with being unfeminine... buying books is somewhat painful. especially without my new debit card, which hasnt arrived yet.i have one class at 1:15 today. the rest is history. i'll get a jump on my work, and i dont know about tonight--- i've made the decision to stay out of the studio, to practice discipline for the times i've laid down for myself that i will be in there. i took josh in there last night, and we messed around with the setup and talked through a few of the plugins. if only warren were here.. i definitely have a few questions, even just about how the board is seemingly wired.i like spending quality time with the brother.amanda and i went to jer and john's house in gloucester to chill and to pick up her goldfish. i also like spending quality time with the jeromy and the john and the mike and the ben.it was dan lundstrom's 22nd yesterday. i drew him a card with a cassette that had tape unwound and coming out of it all over the pages. it doesnt look as cool as it sounds though.i'm going to throw money to the book store/ buy books. ciao. (0) Comments

but we all want something beautiful.. Posted 12/10/2008 7:07:17 AM man, i wish i was beautiful.thus begins another chapter of ... well, something that will probably end up a mess before it even begins. at somepoint today as i was climbing the stairs to the top floor of Chase i felt that not-so-familiar-but-familiar-enough pit forming in my stomach. it's a heavy mass that signifies the existence of uncertainty, longing, hopefulness, hopelessness, insecurity...on an unrelated note, i love being able to sit in the presence of another without talking. silence does not bother me, and only makes me uneasy when i can tell it bothers the other person or people. i experienced a few short bouts of non-talkage during which josh jammed on his guitar, and it reminded me how "OK" that is to me. i remember plopping down in shuff's room last year and just laying there. things dont always need to be said; sometimes, it's enough for me to simply exist in the same room as someone else. i also remember when jeromy would be itching to play me his latest. i could just sit there and listen, like i was able to do so often on Martha's Vineyard.i hate jealousy.i'm not good enough at anything or for you yet. and that's a tough one for me to wrestle with. (0) Comments

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