My Thoughts and Feelings: mY liFe - My wAr Posted 10/10/2006 10:41:42 PM March 27, 2006 Memories of my childhood resound in my head. The time when all I had to do was close my eyes and I was a princess instantly --- dressed in a shimmering gown and dancing happily with my Prince Charming. It's the time whent he sky was always blue and there was not a cloud in sight to mar the beautiful sun. It's an age where dungeons and dragons still lived --- where I could run like the wind with no care in the world; where I could fly high like an eagle and treasure every moment filled with laughter. It's a world of magic and make-believe --- where fairies tickle your toes as you sleep; where elves dance in a moonlit sky; where a mother's kiss would dry the tears caused by bruised and scraped knees. But I grew up so quickly that it seems I've forgotten my childhood. I'm filled with scars of my battles --- invisible, festering like sores on an open would. My heart has been broken so any times I lost track of the count. And it's held up by fragile stitches while pretending to beat normally. As I walk the road less travelled, I know that my war isn't over yet. There will be more wounds, more scars, and more open sores. And as I close my eyes, yet another day of fighting has ended, I sleep in a restless, dream-filled slumber, full of hopes and prayers that I will come out victorious --- scarred yet beautiful; fragile but strong; alone yet complete. (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: thE wEb of oUr LivEs Posted 10/10/2006 10:32:05 PM March 27, 2006 A beautiful web the spider weaves Shining, shimmering amongst the leaves. Trapping insects so meager Appeasing somewhat the spider's hunger. And as she prepares to build a family She destroys the web ever so daintily. Side after side she unravels What has been created through many travels. What is this cycle what we call life? Do we have to die to become alive? Should we be broken to be healed? It's a mystery waiting to be revealed For us, mere mortals, ever so naive. And as we weave our own webs I pray not for the shadow of our deaths. And so looking at our past I yearn to make our happiness last. That we may become fully alive Without getting broken --- dying --- for us to live our full lives. (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: brOkEn wInG Posted 10/10/2006 10:26:07 PM March 15, 2006 Restlessness is a cloud Covering my entire day Shrouding my sunlight Intruding and filtering Into my entire consciousness. My free spirit wants to break free --- It wants to cry out loud! It feels bound and It struggles against the chairs! How I want to soar up high And fly away afar But my wings feel clipped And broken. And today, as I feel Alone yet surrounded, I wait for you --- To calm my spirit again. (0) Comments

My Friends' Creative Works: "CigAreTtEs...cOfFee...ChrIsTinE" by Kenji Andal Posted 10/10/2006 10:19:06 PM March 15, 2006 Deep brown eyes behind the coffee bar; Staring unconsciously, her mind wandering far; She with the smile in this smoke-filled room; Drowning in other people's laughter...other people's talk...other people's lives... Silent eyes unmindful of other people's knives. Her life toughed in pain; Her mind waiting for the rain; Like a ghost in this sea of smoke, coffee, and chatter: With deep brown eyes, she looks outside as if the glass will shatter. What is this wonderful creature; This dumb witness to our broken dreams Have inside to keep; Does she feel? Does she cry? Do tears visit her in her sleep? And as the smoke dies down and the laughter settles; She is left there with her life yet lived... And those beautiful deep brown eyes Staring endlessly, seeking to end her grief. (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: TissA's sPeEch aS cANdidATe fOr maYor in tHe PGO Posted 10/10/2006 10:14:49 PM March 13, 2006 A pleasant morning to our beloved supervisor and principal, dear teachers, and fellow pupils. These are times of turmoil and confusion. Our leaders are in the midst of discord and arguments. Our nation stands divided. All these events lead me to ponder on some questions. What is our future? Where will all these lead us? I believe that the answer to these questions and problems lie in us --- the youth. We are the country's future. We are our nation's next leaders and visionaries. We hold tomorrow in our hands. Whether our country sinks or sails depend on us. As future leaders, what better training ground can there be but here in our school? In this exercise of our right to suffrage, we can start by choosing the candidate who is most suited for the position --- who has the necessary skills, knowledge, and competences required of the position. I, , believe that I have these competences, skills and knowledge required to be Mayor of our Pupil Government Organization. My platform revolves around a balance of instilling self-discipline, environmental concern, and enrichment programs, which I believe, are the cornerstones of our country's growth and development. First, we must learn self-discipline through anti-littering programs designed to curb and curtail our tendencies to be lax in our cleanliness and hygiene. Pursuant to this is the designation of students as "litterguards" to help maintain our school's cleanliness; posting of anti-littering signs at strategic places on the schoolgrounds will also be constant reminders to us; also, encouraging the pupils to bring their own personal trash bags will be of great help to this campaign. Second, environmental concern would also play a big role in my platform. Because what good are our developmental programs if we have no more earth to live in in the future? Establishing vegetable and butterfly gardens would help balance our ecosystem and would also be a source of potential income for our school; flowering plants also help in lessening the greenhouse effect that we are suffering right now and also add to a sense of aesthetics to our campus. Last but certainly not the least, conduct of various seminar-workshops staggered throughout the school year as part of our enrichment programs. Lectures on parliamentary procedures, sexual abuse awareness, gender sensitivity, entrepreneurship trainings, would educate and equip us with additional necessary skills and knowledge to deal with our present and future lives as our nation's new breed of visionaries --- POLITICALLY HONEST, ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVISTS, HUMAN RIGHTS PROTECTORS, ENTREPRENEURS, DISCIPLINED FILIPINOS the whole world would be proud of!!! Thank you very much dear teachers and students. Please don't forget --- for MAYOR! Once again, a very good morning anbd God bless us all! (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: a cErEBrAL ComMiTmEnt Posted 8/13/2006 11:52:34 PM March 9, 2006 Loving someone needs no reason. You don't need to say I love him because he's handsome. I love him because he's sweet. I love him because he makes me feel very special and much more than a woman whem I'm with him. You don't love someone because you need him or because there's something in him that you like. When you love a person, you accept that person for who he is. You accept all the good in him and all his faults and weaknesses. You take him as an individual --- you treasure his individuality. You appreciate and understand the multiple facets of his personality and realize that these different facets are what make him "him"/ When you love someone you do not except --- you just hope. Hope that both of you will come to appreciate each other as individuals that have their own lives separate from the two fo you. Hope that each of you retains the essence of who you are and become enriched each day of your lives with the knowledge that both of you still grow as persons and not become stagnant as one. You believe that each of you will lead dreams that may be so different from each other that it sometimes becomes so hard to understand. And yet you continue to accept and appreciate your partner --- there is a continual respect for each other. There is constant give-and-take. There is a perpetual dance of intimacy. When you love a person you make a conscious decision to love him for the rest of your life. You make a cerebral commitment to be his. Making a conscious decision --- a cerebral commitment --- doesn't mean that you spend the entire time just moping around when he's not with you. It doesn't mean that you make him the sun and moon of your universe. It doesn't mean that you have to be with each other 24/7. A cerebral commitment simply means that you accept each other with no expectations; you commit your essences to each other without losing sight of the real you; you give yourselves of each other without becoming each other's possession; you promise to be strong when the other is weak; and you love each other intimately without being devoured and swallowed whole by your passions. A conscious decision also means that both of you are so near and yet so far apart from each other --- so near that you are attuned with your partner's feelings and empathize with them --- yet so far that each of you has his own breathing space where you continually lead your lives the way you think it should be led. When you love a person you feel all the joys and pains of being a lover. And you know that you have made a conscious decision --- a cerebral commitment --- when you understand and accept these joys and pains as processes of growing --- as part of being continually molded --- and you believe that these joys and pains will result in a better, more mature, more enriched you. (0) Comments

My Friends' Creative Works: "WhaT PurpOsE hAs a mAn iN LifE bUT tO MakE It bEtTEr?" by: Kenji Andal Posted 8/13/2006 11:39:31 PM March 6, 2006 And I am forged of His likeness and in His Image I have come forth. Is man in all this world's inequity and strife just a subject or a creator of perfection? Are we just subjects to this world or are we creators and co-makers of the world and its demise or of its success? What makes a man a man? Is being human being humane? Able to persist and survive? What are the attributes of being Man? How can we achieve perfection? When we created the concept of being humane... being men of the world... for the world... did we look into what we basically are? What makes us different from the men of the past? Have we contributed to perfection? These questions I pose to those who have paradigms of what is good for other people... Maybe the world need not change. Maybe the world was made perfect and we are its fault... its virus... a mistake... Because of all creatures born of this world we are of the most vague purpose. The trees clean the air and support the land; the oceans are lifegivers and support every living thing in this planet. What is our purpose? To destroy which the world aims to create? Our concepts of progress kills that which support us. LIfe in this planet is for humans an almost futile process to develop that which by no means is meant for human development. Who are we to dictate what this world needs? We have become tyrants pushing for what we believe is right for a world that needs no advice on how it should be. Most of us are self-professed Messiahs that believe that we are the epitome of Mankind. Then, we fail and look into the basic nature of man to provide excuses for our failure. We are the only being in this enitre creation that serves no particular purpose in its existence. The Earth is our host and we are its parasites. We feed on it and as cannibals we feed on each other. They say man is a social animal. No, man is an animal designed to destroy each other and anything that aims to nurture us. We need society to feed, to persist, and to destroy in unison. We are the true "Weapons of Mass Destruction". (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: mY bABy ... My hEaRT Posted 8/13/2006 11:31:39 PM March 3, 2006 I lived for so long in a world of darkness In a world without color, only starkness. My heart for a long time refused to feel Just because of a person who treated me like a heel. Then my baby came into my life And filled my world with colors so bright. Still my heart refused to see The love he was showing me. I fought against my feelings for a long time Thinking they were way out of line. Then he showed me the error of my ways And brought back the sun to shine on my days. Thank you so much my baby For this peace I've been feeling lately. Without you I'd have continued fighting Till I find myself slowly dying. I also thank thee, my heart For giving me a new start --- To finaly learn to live Knowing I still have much to give. (0) Comments

Music: SuNLigHt - NinA Posted 8/13/2006 11:28:41 PM February 26, 2006 I watched the world go by in silence Deep in the night in silence Time going by so slow. I think about the morning And it warms my heart Because tonight I'm coming back to the one I love And by tomorrow with the dawn I'll be there And he'll be beside me. Sunlight, oh sunlight Bring me the love I need to guide me Shining deep inside of me Sunlight, oh sunlight Show me the way I look at the stars and I pray for morning Countin' the hours till morning Thinkin' about his smile, yes his smile I'm standing on a promise Of a bright new day I couldn't face another night Staying home alone I know he needs me just as much as I need him So baby I'm coming home Wooh, yeah And I won't let it I won't lket him let me go, oh no No more running now this time Gonna stay right by his side He's my lifetime, my lover, my life He's my sunlight Sunlight, oh sunlight Show me the way To a brighter day Sunlight, oh sunlight Bring me the love I need to guide me Shining deep inside of me Sunlight, oh sunlight Show me the way (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: MeN aRe fRoM mArS...WomEn aRE fRoM VeNUs Posted 8/13/2006 11:16:02 PM February 26, 2006 God created Adam first From the slime of the earth. Next came Eve Whom He took from Adam's rib. Adam partook of the forbidden apple 'Coz Eve tempted him with her dazzle. Samson's strength his hair extolled, But Delilah was his downfall. The enemy by Holofernes led, Then Judith cut off his head. Since time immemorial There've been countless betrayals Between a man And a woman. Now times have changed But betrayal still hasn't aged. The woman says, "I'd like to be cuddled". But the man says, "Not now, my mind's befuddled." Women like to be kissed, But the men always are pissed. Women like to take long walks Where love grows deeper with the talks. Men like action, They don't bother with the affection. Women love shopping, Men are addicted to channel-surfing. Women make love. Men have sex --- not love. A wife says, "I want it to be only me." The husband says, "It's just a game for me, don't worry." Now I really do believe --- MEN ARE FROM MARS... WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS... (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: tHe coFfeE sHOp Posted 8/13/2006 11:09:36 PM February 26, 2006 Hazy, fog-like smoke trailing in the air... Laughter trickling inside my consciousness... Voices filtering through the mundane hum... The scent of roasted beans permeating the place, Wafting in and out of my nose. Now and then a scream punctuates the talks... Punyeta! Deputa! Buli! It startles me from my reverie... Then I smile --- It's not a dream... It's real... I'm with friends --- I am home... (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: mY PrETtY bOy Posted 8/13/2006 11:06:32 PM February 25, 2006 Pretty boy Smile for me. Bring out the sun From behind the clouds. Pretty boy Cry for me. Wash away the fog Covering my eyes. Pretty boy Laugh for me. Turn my frown Into a gleeful smile. Pretty boy Love me. Turn my winter nights Into warm summer winds And wipe away my tears forever... (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: pAngUngULiLa Posted 8/13/2006 11:02:56 PM February 25, 2006 Paggising bawat umaga Matinding pangungulila Siyang laging nadarama --- Mapungay mong mga mata Laging nakikita; Labi mong mamula-mula Nais muling madama; Sa iyong mga lambing Ako'y labis na nahuhumaling; Init ng iyong pag-ibig Ipadama sa mundo kong ligalig. Saan ka napunta O aking sinta? Bakit biglang nawala Iniwan akong kawawa... (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: AninO kO Posted 8/13/2006 11:00:56 PM February 13, 2006 Tulad ng isang anino Ito'y balot ng misteryo. Hiwaga ng aking pagkatao Di pa rin maitago. Isip ay di mahagilap Tulad ng tigreng mailap. Sa mga rehas na kumakadena Gustong kumawala! Sa mga taong mapanghusga Gustong umalma! Kailan mapupunuan Puwang na nararamdaman? Kaligayahang tunay Sino ang may taglay? Labis ang hinaing Nyaring pusong dumaraing; Puno ng hinagpis at pait Sa isang kapalarang mapanlait. (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: TakiPsiLim sA tAGsibOL Posted 8/13/2006 10:56:39 PM February 11, 2006 Sa pagsapit ng tagsibol Na hudyat ng munting buhay Unti-unting isinisiwalat Ng mga ibong makulay. Disinsana dala'y pag-asa Sa takipsilim na siyang aking buhay. Datapwat hindi bukang-liwayway Ang dulot nyaring tadhana Kundi pait at poot Na siyang nangingibabaw. Hamog sa aking mga mata'y Di natuyo sa pagsikat ng araw. Hanap pa rin ang aliwalas Na sa mukha mo lamang masisilayan. Dampi ng iyong mga halik Hanap pa rin nyaring mga labi; Init ng iyong mga yakap Damhin sa buong gabi; Nang sa aking buhay Takipsilim tuluyang mapawi. (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: mY aLl Posted 8/13/2006 10:51:50 PM February 9, 2006 If I gave you my all Would you be mine? If I gave you the sun Would you shine on my life? If I gave you the heavens Would you be my angel divine? If I gave you a cherry tree Would your lips press down on mine? If I gave you flowers Would your heart beat as fast as mine? If I gave you chocolates Would my hand with yours entwine? What would it take for your love divine? I'd give the sun, the moon and the stars And even the heavens above --- To hear close at hand your sigh; To see sweet rapture's delight; To feel your heart beat with mine. (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: mY anGEl chiLd Posted 8/13/2006 10:45:11 PM February 9, 2006 Like an angel sent down from heaven She glows with her beautiful smile. Like a butterfly with gossamer wings She brings quiet joy and calm. Petite, pretty, and smart She is the apple of my eye. An angel most gifted with talents; A woman-child mature and innocent; An actress born to enrapture; A girl with myriad personalities --- Like sugar and spice, But everything nice. She is my daughter --- my light my guardian my beacon my heaven My beautiful angel child. (0) Comments

Works by Various Authors: oN mArRiaGE by KahLiL gibRAn Posted 8/13/2006 10:43:06 PM February 4, 2006 You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not of the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow. (0) Comments

Works by Various Authors: wHAt dOEs iT meAn To bE A LovER? by Barbara de Angelis, Ph.D. Posted 8/13/2006 10:35:19 PM February 4, 2006 What does it mean to be a lover? It is more than just being married to or making love to someone. Millions of people are married, millions of people have sex --- but few are real lovers. To be a real lover you must commit to and participate in a perpetual dance of intimacy with your partner. You are a lover when you appreciate the gift that your partner is, and celebrate that gift everyday. You are a lover when you remember that your partner does not belong to you --- he or she is on loan from the universe. You are a lover when you realize that nothing that happens between you will be insignificant, that everything you say in the relationship has the potential to cause your beloved joy or sorrow, and everything you do will either strengthen your connection or weaken it. You are a lover when you understand all this and thus wake up each morning filled with gratitude that you have another day in which to love and enjoy your partner. When you have a lover in your life, you are richly blessed. You have been given the gift of another person who has chosen to walk beside you. He or she will share your days and your nights, your bed and your burdens. Your lover will see secret parts of you that no one else sees. He or she will touch places on your body that no one else touches. Your lover will seek you out where you have been hiding, and create a haven for you within safe, loving arms. Your lover offers you an abundance of miracles everyday. He has the power to delight you with his smile, his voice, the scent of his neck, the way he moves. She has the power to banish your loneliness. He has the pwoer to turn the ordinary into the sublime. She is your doorway to heaven here on earth. (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: A fELine sUrrEndEr Posted 8/13/2006 10:27:35 PM January 21, 2006 The cat lay silently wounded, Bleeding to death. Screaming a silent scream --- A plea for help! It lay shivering, Hidden in the dark forest Waiting for a rescuer Or even a great predator. Wanting to end its life --- Waiting to expire its last breath --- It lay wounded, Broken and defeated. Head bowed down low in surrender Its tail tucked between its legs A gesture of helplessness A sigh of abeyance. Everyday the cat grew weaker, Everyday its lifeforce slowly ebbed. Everyday a struggle against a crushing pain, Everyday a war against death. Who cares to take pity on a cat? Who will rescue it from the brink of death? Who will nurture it to life? And who will breathe a ray of hope? (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: tHE viSioN Posted 8/13/2006 10:19:51 PM January 19, 2006 Shimmering like a mirage From a distance Your face slowly comes into focus Appearing like a vision from nowhere. My senses come alive with the thought Of touching you, embracing you, kissing you. But then again, darkness comes rushing at me again, Like the cold mists of the ocean On a dark stormy night. Your vision recedes into the shadows No matter how I try to grasp it As the reality of my life Splashes like icy water on my face. And then I realize There can never be an "US" --- There was never an "US"... (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: SpiNniNg whEeL Posted 8/13/2006 10:16:08 PM January 18, 2006 Staring beyond the four corners of my world Deep within the windmills spiraling in my mind Spinning, twirling, going round and round --- Out of control --- Out of touch --- With reality and the commonality of my everyday life. I picture you with each turn --- Your face with each spin; Your lips with each twirl; Your eyes with each curve... Each twist brings you closer to me... Each arc gets you deeper into me... Until we fuse as one --- One body --- One mind --- One person... In my crazy, ever-spinning dream world --- Only in dreams --- Never in reality... (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: agAiN Posted 8/11/2006 11:13:41 PM November 6, 2005 Everyday I wake up with this terrible pain in my heart Borne out of longing and yearning For your kisses and embrace. Slowly I'm missing you --- So slow that it creeps up on me quietly Till I'm caught unaware And the loneliness strikes me onc again. I can't even remember how and why we ended. All I know is I've got my pride And it's all I have left dear To hold inside my heart. I'm let with a bitter taste in my mouth From our togethernes and the shallowness of it all; From your sweet lies, your empty embraces, and your sly words of love. I want to scream at you --- Make you understand that it wasn't a game for me; Make you feel the depth of my feelings for you; Make you realize that somehow you've touched my life And left a mark in my heart --- A mark so deep that it won't easily fade and heal Unlike the physical marks you left on my body Which faded so quickly that there's not even a memory left Of the places that you branded on me. I know that I have let you go already --- Accepted what happened between us; Swallowed the truth that you only played with me. But still the memories of you come haunting me time and again. If only I could see you, talk to you, Embrace you, kiss you, make love to you For just one last time --- For my questions to be answered; For my eyes, mind, and heart to take their fill of you; But deep down I know it will never happen. I'll just have to wait until all my wounds heal And time erases all traces of my memories of you. Until then, I'll just have to be patient And wait until the sun shines again on my heart, Melts the snow that has formed upon it, And opens my eyes to the beauty of the world around me --- That there's still hope for me to live And to love again... (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: PiLipiNaS - bAyaN Ko Posted 8/11/2006 11:07:31 PM November 2, 2005 Gasolina'y pataas ng pataas Sasakyan naman nila'y lalong gumagara. Bilihin ay di na abot-kaya Subalit Rustan's at Hongkong sila kung gumala. Sahod ay di nadaragdagan Habang mansyon nila'y patuloy itinatayo. Mga swimming pool patuloy nilang linalanguyan Subali't esterong mabaho'y di malinisan. Basura'y nagkalat parito't paroon Landscape garden namen ang bukambibig doon. Batang musmusin namamalimos, nababaliw Ngunit sila'y La Salle kung magliwaliw. Gabriela, Bayan Muna, LFS, Anakbayan Kilos-protesta kaliwa't kanan. Magsasaka'u wala ng ani Kundi isang tambak na guniguni. Mangingisda wala ng huli Nakuha sa dagat puro putik, langis at dumi. O Pilipinas bumangon ka! Sarili mong dangal itayo at ipaglaban. Ibaon sa limot ang mga kagaguhan Nang tayo'y magising at matauhan. Sarili nati'y disiplinahin Nang kalayaang tunay ating damhin. (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: DaHoN Posted 8/11/2006 11:03:26 PM October 26, 2005 Tulad ng isang dahon sa ilog Ako'y nagpatianod sa buhay na irog. Parang isang robot Walang malay kundi isang matinding poot. Poot na dama hanggang buto Poot na siyang nagpapauto Sa buhay na kasimpait Na tulad ng isang kapalarang mapanlait. Tulad din ng isang dahong kay rupok Ako'y sinilyaban na parang usok Hanggang ang malay, ang buong buhay Nawala sa iglap ng isang panaghoy. (0) Comments

Music: aNywHErE - eVanEsCeNcE Posted 8/11/2006 11:00:30 PM October 26, 2005 Dear my love haven't you wanted to be with me? And dear my love haven't you longed to be free? I can't keep pretending that I don't really know you When at sweet night you are my all. Take my hand we're leaving here tonight There's no need to tell anyone They'd only hold us down. So by the morning's light We'll be halfway to anywhere Where love is more than just your name. I have dreamt of a place for you and I No one knows who we are there All I want is to give my life freely to you I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore. Let's run away I'll take you there. We're leaving here tonight There's no need to tell anyone They'd only hold us down So by the morning's light We'll be halfway to anywhere Where no one needs a reason Forget this life, come with me Don't look back you're sae now Unlock your heart, drop your guard No one's left to stop you (now) (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: hAunTEd Posted 8/11/2006 10:56:42 PM October 20, 2005 Alone in the cold shadows of the night I sleep in restless slumber My dreams haunting like a plague. Disjointed images of our memories Filter through my mind Like a never-ending movie. Your face seeps through my consciousness Filling every thought, every fiber of my being. I'm haunted right through my very core --- Surrounded yet alone... Peaceful yet tortured... Calm yet restless... Happy yet lonely. No days pass by without seeing your face --- Your eyes... Your lips... Your smile. Haunting me always. Never leaving me alone. Will it be like this forever?... (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: An oPeN LeTTeR tO jAy Posted 8/11/2006 10:52:47 PM October 18, 2005 I came to you willingly with no thought, no regard for who you are as a person. Alone in the shadows of the night, we united the past and the future. No words were said, no promises made, and no commitment given. Time passed and I got to know you more --- who you are, how you are, and what you are. Once again, the truth struck me like a hand clothed in an iron glove. I saw you for who you really are --- your selfishness, your shallowness, your insecurities that you try to cover up with your massive show of ego and machismo. You try to fill your days with as plenty of women as possible with no regard for their individualities, their desires, their needs. You try to accumulate as much toys as possible to fill the loneliness and the aloneness that haunt you through the dawn. You surround yourself with people you call friends --- people who are only with you in good times, but miraculously disappear during those rocky moments in your life; people who can never do you any good and cannot help you grow into the beautiful person you can become. You're still stuck in your cocoon --- still a caterpillar thinking he's safe and warm in his own little space, in his own little world --- not knowing that he's a vulnerable and defenseless against even the most gentle of nature's fury, not knowing that he has the strength inside to break free --- to come out in the light and appreciate all of God's offering in the world. You have your family --- a wife who's patient and loving with you --- a woman of tremendous courage and strength who stays with you even though you blatantly crush her self-worth and self-esteem with your selfish actions and thoughtless desires; a daughter and a son who both can give you joy and strength when all your friends are gone --- two young people who need the guidance of a father --- that's you, Jay. Don't waste the chance and the opportunity being given to you by the Lord. Grab it! Don't let it pass by. Find your strength from within and fight your demons and your dark monsters with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You can do it if only you'll give yourself a chance. It's okay to show your weaknesses --- you won't be a lesser man for that. Accept your insecurities, your questions, your unspoken fears and build on it, Jay. Accepting is the first step in healing --- in growing, in metamorphosing into that beautiful butterfly who gives strength, courage, and joy to others while enjoying the freedom that comes with healing. Be the good person that God meant for you to be, Jay. Don't be afraid --- don't get swayed by your dark side. You can do it, baby. With this letter I bid you goodbye and goodluck. With it comes my heartfelt thanks to the Lord that I was given a chance to know you even for a short while. Our memories will forever be treasured in my heart. The nightmares that we created I banish into the depths of the underworld --- forevermore to be shrouded and clothed in the mists of an aging memory of forgetfulness. With this, I am letting you go to help you be a better person --- not only for yourself but for your wife and your children. Treasure them baby --- guard and nurture them with your life for without them you are nothing --- however plentiful the riches you acquire in this world. Let the good in you shine, baby. Goodbye... (0) Comments

My Thoughts and Feelings: BroKeN Posted 8/11/2006 10:40:03 PM October 18, 2005 We came to each other in the night Haunted by the mysteries of the past Each looking for solace in each other's arms But finding instead only coldness in the dawn's light. I wanted to open up my heart to you --- Wanted to bare my soul; Let you see the real me; I try with all my might to tell you --- But then they're just jumbled words to your ears. I'm troubled by the fact that ours is a superficial relationship --- A senseless union... A meaningless collage of naked bodies... A jigsaw puzzle of lies and broken dreams. No emotions, no warmth --- Only a bone-piercing coldness; Only physical. Your eyes are dark pools of emptiness. Your mind is poisonous tank of toxic waste. My spirit struggles to rise against your oppressive aura. I've got to wake myself from this nightmare. But I find myself still being pushed deeper into the mire. You're like quicksand that sucks the very lifeforce out of me. I've got to let go Before it's too late... Before my last breath expires... Before I see myself --- BROKEN... (0) Comments

Music: yOu aRe mY KinD - sAntAna feat. SeAL Posted 8/11/2006 10:36:08 PM October 14, 2005 Stay with it baby, that's all I ask of you And I know that someday you won't remember The way that this moment feels to you Don't let it go, don't turn your back on what you think you know, you never know Don't leave it alone, 'coz I need you to cling to 'Coz you are my kind You're all that I want here in this life Until we are gone Our breath and our skin, our hearts and our lives They're one and the same ('coz) you are my kind Well call on me baby if you should ever need someone To help get your head straight I'll be your resident all night, sure I'm glad it's happening to us All that I know when you find love you'll never let it go, you never know Without you I'm lost, I get scattered, I'm shattered My love and my life, my heart and my soul I need you tonight, your love makes me whole That's all I can say until you come home I need you tonight, 'coz you are my kind... (0) Comments