Confussed Posted 3/4/2007 9:01:55 PM I am so confussed my life has just been ups and downs and idk where my life is leading. I mean I'm doing alright like I'm okay just I feel like I'm just a big waste on this planet and a disaster that needs too be terminated/distroyed or something besides alive. I don't feel suicidal at the moment just so confussed wheither I'm loved or hated I mean people say I love you Shelby, I love u Shelby, and Shelby your loved, all the time just constantly thast all I hear I have the feeling people think I'm just growing up so fast but yet I'm 13, but I guess I just never take the time too listen I feel like I'm feeling sorry for myself too much but I guess I am and I just need too stop. I need a break like the past is on my mind I wish I could forget about it but I can't because it hurts me so bad deep down emotionally not phsyically yet sometimes both. Idk why life is so easy for some yet so difficult for all the others..I just wish all the ones who feel loved and accepted could feel my feelings for a while and see how much its sucks and how life is too be me. I just fell in love and had a terrible heart break so long ago. Okay he cheated I seriously thought I loved this guy but he was way over my age limit not that my mom gives me an age too beat but life does I guess. But yeah he cheated I dumped him and we haven't talked since sometime in Januray I don't have feelings for him but I saw him walkign town a couple of days ago and just fell like just my life started dropping knowing I wanted more of him all of him just I thought I needed him. But instead I just started dating this new guy but I truthfully dont know how we are gonan work out because he's different from every other guy I've ever dated I mean hes sweet, cute, just isn't the type I go for and well we just met in person last night. Just I usually rush and I didn't with him because idk how we are gonan end up, break up, or anything who knows.I can't even think about it because idk just I have the feeling its gonan be like all the other relashionships I've ever been in hard, deep, and scary. It's not gonan hurt so much just the fact that I will be single again but I'm better off but Idk how too break that too him like hes the type whos emotional inside but prepy and different on the outside..I usually go for the full emo type or goth but this time nope and I hate preps so yeah confussing..but anyways I just need advice because I'm like a really jealous person, and have a really emotional personality and just cant cry anymore now I'm just confussed and heart broken and torn thinking bout my past and how hard it has affected the future of mine. Main reason Im feeling so hurt is because I had sex with this guy alogn with another guy before that but I cheated on him. Because i'm a cheater according too alot of guys and thats why I never last longer then awhile so yeah I break hearts I guess but along with it I get mine broken too. (0) Comments

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General Comments SmokedSilly Posted 3/5/2007 11:59:56 AM Please login to post a comment.