JAMES BLUNT ON AIR

I just heard James Blunt on air And even though i didnt want to, I found myself thinking of you I remembered the time I told you i loved the guy And you said that Hes your favorite too And i couldnt help but wonder If you were listening too and as you heard him say "You're beautiful" just the way i wanna say to you Were you thinking of me too?? (1) Comments

Posted: 12/20/2006 4:19:42 AM

HISTORY REPEATS

they told you that in kindegarden. and you shook your head in utter confusion, total disbelief and complete incomprehension... and then while you were looking the other way, LIFE happened. it caught u unawares, off your guard, and knocked you down and almost under.. and somehow you puled through, managed to barely survive through it.. and when you hardly got yourself together, just put the threads back in order, you made a mistake.. YOU LOOKED THE OTHER WAY and then??? it happened again... only this time.. you knew exactly what was gonna happen.. but once again... you could do precisely NOTHING about it (0) Comments

Posted: 12/19/2006 1:56:25 AM

Not for you

this is something that i am writing, because i need to write it down and if u r expecting something relevant or something that would make sense, well then just skip it. this is for the one guy who shall never read this. sanyam, u r back today and i dont know whether to laugh abt it, cry abt it or just die. i have waited for so long for u to return, and now that u want to, i have clamped myself shut. i wanna tell u of all the nites i stayed up crying, thinking and crying some more for you. i wanna show you the hole that you left in my heart and the gap u left in my soul i wanna show u all the pain that u caused me i wanna show u how i have locked up all our moments, each second that we spent together, safely in my heart. i know i said i had forgotten everything, but surely u did not believe me? how can i forget those two days in narora that we spent. i lived a lifetime in those 48 hours that i spent with u i wanna show what i went through when i saw you with someone else i still wonder why i didnt just wither up and die, the same way my soul did everytime it saw u walking down those corridoors with someone else, whee you had once walked with me satnding there with someone else, where u once stood, waiting...for me. descending those stairs that u once descended with me at your side. i wanna say so much. i wanna tell u so much. i wanna show so much to u. but i know that i wont. not yet atleast. bcoz i have to learn to trust you again. you broke my heart. you have to unbreak it. you hurt my soul. you have to unhurt it. there is so much left to say. there is so much left to explain. there is so much pain, there is so much hurt.. so my luv, in justin timberlake's words CRY ME A RIVER (2) Comments

Posted: 8/27/2006 5:30:30 AM

Me Back

A few posts ago, i was so excited and i was so happy about going to college and everything. but now it is like being excited is the last thing on my mind. for some reason, things for me have turned out to be bad. when we prepare ourselves for the 'worst scenario' possible in a particular situation, we dont exactly ever contemplate it coming true. it is not something that will happen, it is just a hypothetical situation that we cook up in order to find out how bad can things possibly get. but what if your worst scenario comes true? what if you have no option? what if all that you did not want is exactly what you get? what if you have to spend four years living in the same way, and you have just about no way out of it? what then? what do you do? where do you go? (0) Comments

Posted: 8/23/2006 5:50:14 AM

my govt is blocking blog sites

this is totally crazy i tell you. last tuesday, there were serial blasts in mumbai. killed a lot of people and injured many more. and somehow the govt thinks that in order to curb any religious hatred spreading around the country, it should block blog sites. a notice has been issued to ISP's to block sites , blogspot,typepad and blogger have already been giving trouble to people.for the last three days these been sites have inaccessible to many. what still remains unclear is whether the blocking is going to be countrywide or is it just going to be confined to the state where the blasts occured. if u ask me, it makes no sense at all.it is kind of my own choice if i want to or dont want to be involved with blogging. it is crazy. (4) Comments

Posted: 7/18/2006 11:10:29 PM

so i am back

so i went to see my college and complete a few formalities. to talk about technology. well those people have managed to build and operate a full-fledged college that offers about a dozen courses precisely in the middle of nowhere. it was located in the middle of corn fields, in an ancient part of a lesser known, small city that i dont think is big enuf to qualify to be called a city. but over the scorching indian summer sun,over the parking that was almost a field itself, over the parched driveway and the sprawling green lawns, over the sweating never-ending line of addmission seekers, i have gotta confess, i fell in love with the place. i fell in love with reddish pink building, the widespread of green before it, the green corridoors. just about everything. i want to end up there so much that it almost hurts. so i have started crossing off dates on a calender...waiting....for this next month to pass. yet, with my fingers crossed behind my back (1) Comments

Posted: 7/15/2006 7:58:26 AM

going to see my college

i am going tomorrow to see my college for the first time and i am really excited. so i thought i would just dash off an entry. though i am also scared. not about ragging but, which is just so common in indian hostels and colleges. i am scared that the course that i have opted for is not exactly the conventional female-chosen one. as far as i know, out of the 38 people in my future class, just 2 are girls-including me. and the other girl might just drop it. no, that does not deter me at all. i am a true feminist at heart and i do believe that we, women can venture into any field. but i am not so sure about my dad. and even lesser sure about my dad's friends. so i am worried that though at the moment he doesnt really have an objection to it,there is still a month to go before the session starts.that is a really long long time. going to college tomorrow.with my fingers crossed behind my back. (0) Comments

Posted: 7/14/2006 8:57:17 AM

nothing really

i know that i just posted a really frustrated entry in the morning itself. but this is called a silver lining in every dark cloud. i just got a result from a college. and i got into the college i wanted and the course that i wanted. so i am very happy now. to hell with the jerks of this planet. they can have the ego. i will have the life. :-) (1) Comments

Posted: 7/13/2006 7:01:54 AM

guys are such jerks

guys are such jerks. they are such idiots that i just dont know what to say. my best friend is a guy, one of the best i know. he is leaving the country for around 7 years. so i thought that i would ask all his friends to send me something for him along the lines of a good wish and stuff that i could compile and give to him before he leaves. so i wrote to all his friends, including my ex, we were friends once too,who i hadnt talked to since october last year.except for the one time that a month ago when he explained all the reasons very politely as to y he had ditched me. anyways,i sent that mail out to about 20 people. got a few replies. then my best friend,rahul, sent me a mail telling me that my ex, sam, had left the city and wont be back for 4 years or so. he sent me the goodbye sms that sam had sent to all his friends. and lo and behold, the jerk had used the words that i use when i generally sign off my mails or letters. the jerk.so it doesnt exactly come as a surprise that rahul asks me if i know as to how he got the hang of my expression. and i just couldnt tell him about the mail that i had sent out for him, it is supposed to be a surprise. so i sent another mail to sam to tel him that he should not have used that expression, rahul was wondering where he got it from. and i told him to send me a reply for rahul. and the jerk, themoron, the idiot, the b****y b*****d, he sends me a reply telling me that he doesnt have time for my "faaltu"(meaning useless) mails. and that i should not sent him any in the future. what the hell1!! what does he think of himself. that he is some greek god? well news flash damn you-you are not. i sent him the mail because inspite of any thing vindictive that i might have against him, i now that he is rahul's friend and i tried to do something for my best friend. tell your girlfriend to rest assured ,i will be damned if i were hitting on you,you moron. maybe i shouldn't have sent the jerk the mail in the first place. i should have known from my own experience that he is anything but a friend. maybe i shouldnt have bothered about him. maybe i shouldnt have. but what the hell. he could have atleast tried to act civil, not like some barbaric beast that he is trying himself to be. why?he is allowed to send me an sms and start talking, without any invitation, about the past.and when i send him an e-mail, offering him to do something for one of his own best friends, i am wasting his time. why the hell are guys such big jerks? (1) Comments

Posted: 7/13/2006 4:34:25 AM

A Sceptic's Prayer

A Sceptic's Prayer i wanna wait and watch and see how long its gonna be before you let me have who and what i wish for i wanna wait and watch and see how long is this little game of ours gonna go however long may it be,i am gonna play it right through i wanna wait and watch and see how long you are gonna lead me on? i promise, though, i wont let anything kill me off i wanna wait and watch and see how many times you are gonna devastate me i wont let you,but,and i will make sure you dont defeat me i wanna wait and watch and see how bad you can make things for me and i will show you that i too can survive i wanna wait and watch and see how long before you stop ignoring me and look and see someone who isnt paying you attention i wanna wait and watch and see how many times you will igore my call in despair that asks you to listen and not just pretend that you hear i wanna wait and watch and see how long you will wait before putting things right and until then,i am gonna show you that i can live and love my life i wanna wait and watch and see how many times you are gonna make false promises and make sure my heart breaks worse than your plans i wanna wait and watch and see how much it cost me for having had faith and i know it cant be more than what it's already been i wanna wait and watch and see how long before you get tired of meking me pay for things i didnt do and mistakes that others made i wanna wait and watch and see how long before you take up my challenge and see all that you do for me i wanna wait and watch and see how long before you answer my questions and see what it is that you can say to them i wanna wait and watch and see you tell me why my faith never worked for me and you never let me believe for long i wanna wait and watch and see how long you dont answer me when i will stand alone a recluse accusing u silently i wanna wait and watch and see you explain why things went the way they did when you knowas well as i do, they werent supposed to i wanna wait and watch and see how long you are gonna make me live my worst nightmare and pretend that you are sleeping yourself i wanna wait and watch and see how far you are gonna go in ur attempts at escalating me to heavens and then plunge me to depths i wanna wait and watch and see how many times you interfere when i just ask for help and make sure things are worse than they could ever have been i wanna wait and watch and see i am gonna wait and watch and see and once i have waited watched and seen i will survive and get through it and i am live to tell it too, and this, you just wait and watch and see. (1) Comments

Posted: 7/11/2006 4:28:42 AM