bleufemme1964
Live. Laugh. Love.
Profile
Last Seen: 3/1/2008 6:56:11 PM
I love my family and my friends. 4 cats deem me worthy enough to live with and they merely tolerate the 2 dogs. I am spiritual, not religious. I am drawn to nature and to healing. I love to read, sing, write, and learn.
Age: 44
Gender: F
Location: Funny Farm
Marital Status: I am married to a man I deeply love and whom I have not killed.... yet
Momma to: 4 daughters, 1 son, a niece; Nana to 2 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
Spiritual Interests: Mother Earth, Chakras, Crystal Healing, Reiki, Essential Oils, Herbs, Meditation, Music, Natural Healing Methods, Goddess Energy
General Interests: To continue to fool the doctors so they will keep me here.... aaaahahahaha!!!
Favorite Quote: "We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take us or spare us." Proust
:
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Categories
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Personal Soap Box
Poetry
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Rantings
Animal Totems
Crystals
Color Therapy
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Im Bored Again!
Daily Weight Log
Personal Soap Box
Poetry
Stories
Rantings
Animal Totems
Crystals
Color Therapy
Humor
Im Bored Again!
Daily Weight Log
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Im Bored Again!: HI Everyone!!!
Posted 3/1/2008 6:55:55 PM
Im sorry I don't stop by and run around from place to place. I keep saying I will... but then I don't. I am bad. I love you guys. Just in a weird place. Maybe I will start posting pics.
I love you!!!!!!
((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
Bleu
Posted 3/1/2008 6:55:55 PM
Im sorry I don't stop by and run around from place to place. I keep saying I will... but then I don't. I am bad. I love you guys. Just in a weird place. Maybe I will start posting pics.
I love you!!!!!!
((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
Bleu
Im Bored Again!: Help me build my Mini City!!!!!!!!!
Posted 2/19/2008 6:40:26 PM
Visit me here to help my mini-city grow so then I will be able to eventually start working on my industry and other stuff... kinda cool. All you have to do is click on the link and it adds you as population or, once I get enough population, I will add my industry link and you can start your own factory! You dont "do" anything tho-just click, everyday preferably :) . Start your own mini-city -just click on "build my city" on the right hand side.
Singing Hawk's mini city
My husbands mini city is Crankiton or hit up his industry, which he needs,at Crankiton Industry
Love and peace, Baby!!!
Bleu
Posted 2/19/2008 6:40:26 PM
Visit me here to help my mini-city grow so then I will be able to eventually start working on my industry and other stuff... kinda cool. All you have to do is click on the link and it adds you as population or, once I get enough population, I will add my industry link and you can start your own factory! You dont "do" anything tho-just click, everyday preferably :) . Start your own mini-city -just click on "build my city" on the right hand side.
Singing Hawk's mini city
My husbands mini city is Crankiton or hit up his industry, which he needs,at Crankiton Industry
Love and peace, Baby!!!
Bleu
Im Bored Again!: Whats Up?
Posted 2/18/2008 4:14:48 PM
I need to be caught up with all the goings on. Ya'll tell me what I've missed. I have missed you all.
I haven't a lot to say. My shrink is trying to get me to figure out why its safer for me to stay in the hell I'm in than to make it better. I think she's crazy, but I'll do what she wants and make her feel better. LOL She wants to unlock something and I'm fightin her on it... I dont know what in the hell it could be.
I guess it's something tho'. I will start writing and try to figure it out if I can. So, if ya'll get some weird assed posts from me, don't worry. Just sortin' thru the garbage in my mind.
Love, light, and peace,
Bleu
Posted 2/18/2008 4:14:48 PM
I need to be caught up with all the goings on. Ya'll tell me what I've missed. I have missed you all.
I haven't a lot to say. My shrink is trying to get me to figure out why its safer for me to stay in the hell I'm in than to make it better. I think she's crazy, but I'll do what she wants and make her feel better. LOL She wants to unlock something and I'm fightin her on it... I dont know what in the hell it could be.
I guess it's something tho'. I will start writing and try to figure it out if I can. So, if ya'll get some weird assed posts from me, don't worry. Just sortin' thru the garbage in my mind.
Love, light, and peace,
Bleu
Poetry: Broken Dolls
Posted 2/13/2008 12:31:46 PM
She sat amidst the tumbled toys,
her joy bloodied from all the pain.
As ahe laid in her bed that night
she pulled her fright in close.
In the darkness of her soul,
silently screaming.
In the darkness of her mind,
silently praying
To God to save her from her brother
from the pain, from... another...
Later in her tender 6th year,
all bloodied in her secrets.
She lay in the darkness of her heart,
silently crying.
In the darkness she derides God
"I asked for help not ... another..."
Now with two, soon with three.
They come at her like leeches--
the beautiful green eyed girl,
with the beautiful voice, but so shy.
Such a perfect silent victim.
In the darkness of her mind,
she gives up her Christian ways.
In the darkness, she tells God
"You never loved me anyway."
I, who worshiped You through the pain.
I, who trusted You through the tears.
I, who believed in You the years.
You tossed me away like badly used doll.
Next 12 years are yet to come...
I hope they are better than the last.
I will find my own path from here,
no thanks to You or those who "loved" me.
I will have to find that love for myself.
Bleu
Posted 2/13/2008 12:31:46 PM
her joy bloodied from all the pain.
As ahe laid in her bed that night
she pulled her fright in close.
In the darkness of her soul,
silently screaming.
In the darkness of her mind,
silently praying
To God to save her from her brother
from the pain, from... another...
Later in her tender 6th year,
all bloodied in her secrets.
She lay in the darkness of her heart,
silently crying.
In the darkness she derides God
"I asked for help not ... another..."
Now with two, soon with three.
They come at her like leeches--
the beautiful green eyed girl,
with the beautiful voice, but so shy.
Such a perfect silent victim.
In the darkness of her mind,
she gives up her Christian ways.
In the darkness, she tells God
"You never loved me anyway."
I, who worshiped You through the pain.
I, who trusted You through the tears.
I, who believed in You the years.
You tossed me away like badly used doll.
Next 12 years are yet to come...
I hope they are better than the last.
I will find my own path from here,
no thanks to You or those who "loved" me.
I will have to find that love for myself.
Bleu
Rantings: SCOOTS!!!!!!!! PORN HERE!!!!!!
Posted 1/27/2008 4:58:19 PM
OMG!!!!!!! There is one thing I have to rant about.... there is a difference between porn and nude art or even the pictures that Gary puts up which still have class and aren't in your face. Denise_11 is showing flat out PORN and it looks like some of them are underage. Its disgusting. I mean come on Scoots!!!! So, we can now post whatever we want? I thought porn was disallowed? If my daughter goes there and sees it.... Newblog and its owners are in trouble.
People are leaving b/c of this and the sign in issue Scoots. We loved Newblog... wth happened? Sometimes when you sign in it will say that the login session has timed out and its virtually impossible to get in for a few days. This has gotten better over the past couple of weeks, but come on... it shouldn't have gotten that bad.
We all understand that you have a job. I thought that you got someone to watch over NB while you were unable to for things such as this and the PORN.
I am not sure if this Denise_11 is the only one who has porn on their site b/c I dont go looking for it... but it is rather blatant. I dont want to be a part of a place that touts one thing and allows another. Please fix it.
Thank you.
Posted 1/27/2008 4:58:19 PM
OMG!!!!!!! There is one thing I have to rant about.... there is a difference between porn and nude art or even the pictures that Gary puts up which still have class and aren't in your face. Denise_11 is showing flat out PORN and it looks like some of them are underage. Its disgusting. I mean come on Scoots!!!! So, we can now post whatever we want? I thought porn was disallowed? If my daughter goes there and sees it.... Newblog and its owners are in trouble.
People are leaving b/c of this and the sign in issue Scoots. We loved Newblog... wth happened? Sometimes when you sign in it will say that the login session has timed out and its virtually impossible to get in for a few days. This has gotten better over the past couple of weeks, but come on... it shouldn't have gotten that bad.
We all understand that you have a job. I thought that you got someone to watch over NB while you were unable to for things such as this and the PORN.
I am not sure if this Denise_11 is the only one who has porn on their site b/c I dont go looking for it... but it is rather blatant. I dont want to be a part of a place that touts one thing and allows another. Please fix it.
Thank you.
Im Bored Again!: How Rare is Your Personality?
Posted 1/23/2008 4:15:11 PM
Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISFP)
Your personality type is caring, peaceful, artistic, and calm.
Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 8% of all women and 6% of all men
You are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.
Posted 1/23/2008 4:15:11 PM
Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISFP)
Your personality type is caring, peaceful, artistic, and calm.
Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 8% of all women and 6% of all men
You are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.
Humor: T-Shirt
Posted 1/23/2008 2:57:15 PM
Got that one from StumbleUpon... funny... tshirthell.com I love that place. LOL
Posted 1/23/2008 2:57:15 PM
Got that one from StumbleUpon... funny... tshirthell.com I love that place. LOL
Poetry: "Jewels of the Earth"
Posted 1/23/2008 2:51:56 PM
by Bleu
Some men find riches in silver and gold,
but I find jewels of the earth to behold.
The sky overhead is sapphire blue;
The setting sun has a ruby red hue.
Diamonds are sparkling in the snow,
and the moon has a very opalescent glow.
The emerald green of the whispering pines.
The earth holds jewels of every kind.
So, let them have their silver and their gold.
while I find the jewels of the earth to behold.
I'll be richer, by far,than they -
for the jewels of the earth are mine everyday.
~ 1990
Posted 1/23/2008 2:51:56 PM
by Bleu
Some men find riches in silver and gold,
but I find jewels of the earth to behold.
The sky overhead is sapphire blue;
The setting sun has a ruby red hue.
Diamonds are sparkling in the snow,
and the moon has a very opalescent glow.
The emerald green of the whispering pines.
The earth holds jewels of every kind.
So, let them have their silver and their gold.
while I find the jewels of the earth to behold.
I'll be richer, by far,than they -
for the jewels of the earth are mine everyday.
~ 1990
Rantings: Pontification
Posted 1/23/2008 2:49:41 PM
"When you use rational thinking, you only get one choice. But when you're good and crazy--THE SKY'S THE LIMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
~~The Tick
Posted 1/23/2008 2:49:41 PM
"When you use rational thinking, you only get one choice. But when you're good and crazy--THE SKY'S THE LIMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
~~The Tick
Poetry: "River of Dreams"
Posted 1/23/2008 2:47:13 PM
by Bleu
A wall built from pebbles and stones,
taken from the river of dreams
to form a barrier around my heart
to protect me from evil schemes.
Each stone was placed with graceful
ease as each new heartache began.
Each pebble was used for solid support
when my wall of dreams caved in.
All my dreams of life and love
and all that i want to be
live safe and secure, locked in a wall
overlooking the river of dreams.
Posted 1/23/2008 2:47:13 PM
A wall built from pebbles and stones,
taken from the river of dreams
to form a barrier around my heart
to protect me from evil schemes.
Each stone was placed with graceful
ease as each new heartache began.
Each pebble was used for solid support
when my wall of dreams caved in.
All my dreams of life and love
and all that i want to be
live safe and secure, locked in a wall
overlooking the river of dreams.
Poetry: "Lead Me Home"
Posted 1/23/2008 2:45:56 PM
by Bleu
I am lost and all alone -
so close, yet, so far from home.
I need Your light to guide the way.
Oh, Lord! How I regret the day
the light was extinguished from my eyes
by all the tears that I have cried.
My pain runs as deep as the great wide seas
and nothing seems to comfort me.
I know the road that will lead me Home.
Shine Your light so I won't roam
Through the darkness that clouds my mind
and lose my way or stay behind.
I know You are listening and You care.
I want to go Home, please take me there.
Shine Your light so I can see
the light from Home inside of me.
~~1987
Posted 1/23/2008 2:45:56 PM
by Bleu
I am lost and all alone -
so close, yet, so far from home.
I need Your light to guide the way.
Oh, Lord! How I regret the day
the light was extinguished from my eyes
by all the tears that I have cried.
My pain runs as deep as the great wide seas
and nothing seems to comfort me.
I know the road that will lead me Home.
Shine Your light so I won't roam
Through the darkness that clouds my mind
and lose my way or stay behind.
I know You are listening and You care.
I want to go Home, please take me there.
Shine Your light so I can see
the light from Home inside of me.
~~1987
Poetry: "Insanity"
Posted 1/23/2008 2:44:40 PM
This was a song/poem I wrote a long time ago... I still like it. One of my favs besides "Fuck The Knight."
by Bleu
Take me, bring me to my knees
Insanity washes over me.
In the darkness that clouds my mind
The perfect place I've found to hide,
but in the darkness hides with me
All the fears I've yet to see.
Please take me, bring me to my knees
Insanity wash over me.
Hold me safely in your arms,
Engulf my mind - keep me from harm.
In you I've found shelter from myself.
Put my mind on the highest shelf.
And take me, bring me to my knees
Insanity was over me.
Take my heart and take my mind
Insanity - you're so kind.
Close all the windows and lock the doors,
Insanity, I"m all yours.
So, take me, bring me to my knees,
Insanity washes over me....
Posted 1/23/2008 2:44:40 PM
This was a song/poem I wrote a long time ago... I still like it. One of my favs besides "Fuck The Knight."
by Bleu
Take me, bring me to my knees
Insanity washes over me.
In the darkness that clouds my mind
The perfect place I've found to hide,
but in the darkness hides with me
All the fears I've yet to see.
Please take me, bring me to my knees
Insanity wash over me.
Hold me safely in your arms,
Engulf my mind - keep me from harm.
In you I've found shelter from myself.
Put my mind on the highest shelf.
And take me, bring me to my knees
Insanity was over me.
Take my heart and take my mind
Insanity - you're so kind.
Close all the windows and lock the doors,
Insanity, I"m all yours.
So, take me, bring me to my knees,
Insanity washes over me....
Shall I Dance? I think not tonight...
Posted 1/7/2008 8:12:23 PM
The dance has begun again.... the music started softly. He walked up and asked for my hand. I demurred. For I did not want to dance this dance. It was familiar. I know the steps all too well. I watched my parents dance it over and over again for too many years, my mother tripping over her gown, her mask falling to the side occasionally - showing the pain she felt.
For the dance is long once started. One gets tired and angry because once begun, you cannot sit it out and start again.
Acceptance stood there looking at me with a smirk on his handsome face, waiting. Waiting for me to timidly place my hand in his, to give in to the temptation of ease, of the farce of peace.
This masked ball is not for the light hearted. One must either run away, by chance losing her glass slipper and her Prince forever... or fall into the trance.
Acceptance clears his throat, getting impatient with me. I reach out, but pull back. Then I kick the son of a bitch in the shin and continue sipping my champagne as if nothing has happened. I will not dance tonight.
~Bleu
Posted 1/7/2008 8:12:23 PM
The dance has begun again.... the music started softly. He walked up and asked for my hand. I demurred. For I did not want to dance this dance. It was familiar. I know the steps all too well. I watched my parents dance it over and over again for too many years, my mother tripping over her gown, her mask falling to the side occasionally - showing the pain she felt.
For the dance is long once started. One gets tired and angry because once begun, you cannot sit it out and start again.
Acceptance stood there looking at me with a smirk on his handsome face, waiting. Waiting for me to timidly place my hand in his, to give in to the temptation of ease, of the farce of peace.
This masked ball is not for the light hearted. One must either run away, by chance losing her glass slipper and her Prince forever... or fall into the trance.
Acceptance clears his throat, getting impatient with me. I reach out, but pull back. Then I kick the son of a bitch in the shin and continue sipping my champagne as if nothing has happened. I will not dance tonight.
~Bleu
Poetry: A List of what I want....
Posted 1/5/2008 2:51:16 PM
I used to have this and I don't know what happened to it. It got lost somewhere along the way... I keep looking, longing, slowly dying inside...
Without apologies;
A list of what I want.
~*~
Crazy laughter between sheets,
fingers laced when crossing streets,
pink carnations and not roses,
`Let's do that' and not 'supposes',
quiet nights and scented candles,
a man who's strong and hard to handle,
someone smart and intellectual
for when I am but just ineffectual,
a tender lover, yet a beast,
with stroking hands and biting teeth,
acceptance pure and without measure,
to be recognized as treasure,
to be thought of every minute
if I am out or if I'm in it,
to be the source of inspiration
and endless nights of perspiration,
careless kisses when forbidden.
Just a love that can't be hidden.
Posted 1/5/2008 2:51:16 PM
I used to have this and I don't know what happened to it. It got lost somewhere along the way... I keep looking, longing, slowly dying inside...
Without apologies;
A list of what I want.
~*~
Crazy laughter between sheets,
fingers laced when crossing streets,
pink carnations and not roses,
`Let's do that' and not 'supposes',
quiet nights and scented candles,
a man who's strong and hard to handle,
someone smart and intellectual
for when I am but just ineffectual,
a tender lover, yet a beast,
with stroking hands and biting teeth,
acceptance pure and without measure,
to be recognized as treasure,
to be thought of every minute
if I am out or if I'm in it,
to be the source of inspiration
and endless nights of perspiration,
careless kisses when forbidden.
Just a love that can't be hidden.
Hey ya'll
Posted 1/5/2008 2:00:25 PM
Thank you to everyone who didn't give up on me and who stood by me during my rough time. I may be slow gettin started again, but I'm trying. I do have a photo blog. It has kept me a bit sane... just posting pictures and a few words. No drama, no nothing... just me and my pictures... But I missed ya'll and our interactions. I missed my friends. I missed saying hello and reading about your days and your families. I missed joking around and laughing, sometimes crying with you.
I will ease my way back... I love ya'll...
Be good, take care and ((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
Bleu
Posted 1/5/2008 2:00:25 PM
Thank you to everyone who didn't give up on me and who stood by me during my rough time. I may be slow gettin started again, but I'm trying. I do have a photo blog. It has kept me a bit sane... just posting pictures and a few words. No drama, no nothing... just me and my pictures... But I missed ya'll and our interactions. I missed my friends. I missed saying hello and reading about your days and your families. I missed joking around and laughing, sometimes crying with you.
I will ease my way back... I love ya'll...
Be good, take care and ((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
Bleu
Poetry: Leaning Your Loneliness Gently on Mine
Posted 1/5/2008 11:53:12 AM
And then my eyes fell upon yours
like a stone from my heart
a stone I had long carried about
And your face is no longer
quietly closed on yourself, but
a gift you open with your eyes
And I no longer know if it's leaves
falling from mighty trees
or a memory of beasts in flight
because the air is dissolving over
your face like a strong light
Your face a mirror in my hands
and the sense-bereft pale
smile of your pale lips; foam
from a storm that has passed
While the butterfly words
wound round us a golden thread
you accepted all my helplessness
And I grasped as if deep in earth
Your breasts, your body, You
and your glance, half scrutiny
half smile, that said: Lover
Tonight you can lean your loneliness
gently on mine
(From Alene med en himmel, 1962. Translated by Annabelle Despard)
© by Annabelle Despard and H. Aschehoug & Co., Oslo 2005
Posted 1/5/2008 11:53:12 AM
And then my eyes fell upon yours
like a stone from my heart
a stone I had long carried about
And your face is no longer
quietly closed on yourself, but
a gift you open with your eyes
And I no longer know if it's leaves
falling from mighty trees
or a memory of beasts in flight
because the air is dissolving over
your face like a strong light
Your face a mirror in my hands
and the sense-bereft pale
smile of your pale lips; foam
from a storm that has passed
While the butterfly words
wound round us a golden thread
you accepted all my helplessness
And I grasped as if deep in earth
Your breasts, your body, You
and your glance, half scrutiny
half smile, that said: Lover
Tonight you can lean your loneliness
gently on mine
(From Alene med en himmel, 1962. Translated by Annabelle Despard)
© by Annabelle Despard and H. Aschehoug & Co., Oslo 2005
Poetry: Baby's Smile
Posted 11/24/2007 10:34:53 PM
Baby's Smile
Today you smiled, Dear, in your sleep.
What were you dreaming of?
And why did tears spring to my eyes
In a sudden rush of love?
- Barbara Burrow -
Posted 11/24/2007 10:34:53 PM
Baby's Smile
Today you smiled, Dear, in your sleep.
What were you dreaming of?
And why did tears spring to my eyes
In a sudden rush of love?
- Barbara Burrow -
Personal Soap Box: My Grandbaby
Posted 11/24/2007 8:46:52 PM
Caedon was born on 10/17/2007. He weighed in at 6lbs. 6oz., 19" long. He was 3 weeks early and slightly jaundiced, but they let him go after 2 days in the hospital. His APGAR tested out as a full term infant! He started raising himself up on his arms and holding his head up a few days ago... can you believe that???? Noelle did that. Strong kids. Well.. enough of the blather....
4 Days Old
6 Days Old
Posted 11/24/2007 8:46:52 PM
Caedon was born on 10/17/2007. He weighed in at 6lbs. 6oz., 19" long. He was 3 weeks early and slightly jaundiced, but they let him go after 2 days in the hospital. His APGAR tested out as a full term infant! He started raising himself up on his arms and holding his head up a few days ago... can you believe that???? Noelle did that. Strong kids. Well.. enough of the blather....
4 Days Old
6 Days Old
Rantings: Me and My Life
Posted 11/20/2007 10:29:30 PM
Well.. been a while, hasn't it? I have missed you. I have screwed up my background... LMAO! Do not try to do background work while on drugs. BAD idea!
Okay... I committed myself to the psychiatric hospital. I was there for a week. I was suicidal. I was cutting myself to relieve the pain... sounds stupid, but some of you know what I mean. Many people hurt themselves in other ways than cutting... by drinking, doing drugs, smoking, overeating, undereating, vomiting... got the point? Figured.
See...deep down I dont believe that I am good enough... for anything. That I am a failure at everything. Please dont tell me how wonderful I am. I am not fishing. I know that I have a good heart. I know that I am a good listener. I have helped many children break free of trauma.. I have done wonderful things in my life... its all blather to me. I'm sorry. It is my illness and my cross to bear. It was said to me over and over as a child.. and I am finding ways to get over it. I love you all for standing beside me and not letting me fall. Not forgetting me. Still loving me. Thank you so much. You dont know how much that has helped...
Soooooo... they give me drugs.. drugs which make me speak, type, write and anything else in dfjslri fjdsljgou fjlfdi. What? You didnt understand that? WTF??? It was perfectly clear to me! I KNOW I wrote "in incomprehensible jibber jabber." You didn't get that?zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Sorry fell asleep again. I do that for no reason.
Its quite annoying. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The docs lowered the dosage and gave me the meds only at night. Boy did THAT help! I dont fall asleep, I just get sleepy or cant sleep. Ohhh! And I see dead people. I hear dead people too.... arguing. They wont stop. I tell them to shut the hell up and sometimes they do. LOLOL And bells ringing. And my hearing just stops. Fucking doctors.
Oh but the good stuff!!!!
On October 10, 2007, my brother Clive Collier Curry, Jr. was picked up for jumping parole and must serve out the rest of his 40 year sentence with no further chance of parole... 23 years!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On October 17, 2007, my grandson was born. Caedon weighed in at 6lbs, 6 oz, 19 in long. He was 3 weeks early but his APGAR score was that of a full term baby. He coos and babbles and we sing on the phone together. I sang to him in-utero. He knows me. I miss him. I will post a pic when I download them. He is beautiful.
I have almost finished all of my paperwork for the Agency I worked for.... I think I only have a few more to go. I will get paid them. Jackasses.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Posted 11/20/2007 10:29:30 PM
Well.. been a while, hasn't it? I have missed you. I have screwed up my background... LMAO! Do not try to do background work while on drugs. BAD idea!
Okay... I committed myself to the psychiatric hospital. I was there for a week. I was suicidal. I was cutting myself to relieve the pain... sounds stupid, but some of you know what I mean. Many people hurt themselves in other ways than cutting... by drinking, doing drugs, smoking, overeating, undereating, vomiting... got the point? Figured.
See...deep down I dont believe that I am good enough... for anything. That I am a failure at everything. Please dont tell me how wonderful I am. I am not fishing. I know that I have a good heart. I know that I am a good listener. I have helped many children break free of trauma.. I have done wonderful things in my life... its all blather to me. I'm sorry. It is my illness and my cross to bear. It was said to me over and over as a child.. and I am finding ways to get over it. I love you all for standing beside me and not letting me fall. Not forgetting me. Still loving me. Thank you so much. You dont know how much that has helped...
Soooooo... they give me drugs.. drugs which make me speak, type, write and anything else in dfjslri fjdsljgou fjlfdi. What? You didnt understand that? WTF??? It was perfectly clear to me! I KNOW I wrote "in incomprehensible jibber jabber." You didn't get that?zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Sorry fell asleep again. I do that for no reason.
Its quite annoying. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The docs lowered the dosage and gave me the meds only at night. Boy did THAT help! I dont fall asleep, I just get sleepy or cant sleep. Ohhh! And I see dead people. I hear dead people too.... arguing. They wont stop. I tell them to shut the hell up and sometimes they do. LOLOL And bells ringing. And my hearing just stops. Fucking doctors.
Oh but the good stuff!!!!
On October 10, 2007, my brother Clive Collier Curry, Jr. was picked up for jumping parole and must serve out the rest of his 40 year sentence with no further chance of parole... 23 years!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On October 17, 2007, my grandson was born. Caedon weighed in at 6lbs, 6 oz, 19 in long. He was 3 weeks early but his APGAR score was that of a full term baby. He coos and babbles and we sing on the phone together. I sang to him in-utero. He knows me. I miss him. I will post a pic when I download them. He is beautiful.
I have almost finished all of my paperwork for the Agency I worked for.... I think I only have a few more to go. I will get paid them. Jackasses.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Poetry: A Woman Of Stone
Posted 10/24/2007 11:02:26 PM
Woman of Stone
when I was just a little girl,
they ripped away my innocence....
when i was old enough to understand
someone else took away my faith....
as a young bride, battered and bruised,
i walked away with only my pride...
with you I thought I had found love
safety, acceptance, understanding....
only you could rip out my heart
and turn me into a woman of stone.
Posted 10/24/2007 11:02:26 PM
Woman of Stone
when I was just a little girl,
they ripped away my innocence....
when i was old enough to understand
someone else took away my faith....
as a young bride, battered and bruised,
i walked away with only my pride...
with you I thought I had found love
safety, acceptance, understanding....
only you could rip out my heart
and turn me into a woman of stone.
Rantings: I'm Alive
Posted 10/22/2007 8:24:36 AM
I miss ya'll... Everytime I turn around something else is happening. I dont have time to breathe, much less blog.
Please know I am thinkin of ya'll. I dont ck my email very often. But it makes feel good to see you haven't forgotten me.
I love you all. You make me smile when I dont feel like it.
Thank you so much for your support.
Love and hugs,
Always,
Bleu
Posted 10/22/2007 8:24:36 AM
I miss ya'll... Everytime I turn around something else is happening. I dont have time to breathe, much less blog.
Please know I am thinkin of ya'll. I dont ck my email very often. But it makes feel good to see you haven't forgotten me.
I love you all. You make me smile when I dont feel like it.
Thank you so much for your support.
Love and hugs,
Always,
Bleu
Rantings: Not sure....
Posted 9/26/2007 10:29:29 AM
My meds are working now....
Im working out now...
Im not tired anymore... when I sleep.. which is most of the time... lolol
But Im still having a rough time... picking out a gun.. Im leaning towards a Ruger .345 2 1/4" barrel with a concealed handgun license
PLUS Im getting my Mossberg 500 Persuader.
Im about to get a job. with my Pain Center doc.. LMAO!
I love you guys!
(((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
Posted 9/26/2007 10:29:29 AM
My meds are working now....
Im working out now...
Im not tired anymore... when I sleep.. which is most of the time... lolol
But Im still having a rough time... picking out a gun.. Im leaning towards a Ruger .345 2 1/4" barrel with a concealed handgun license
PLUS Im getting my Mossberg 500 Persuader.
Im about to get a job. with my Pain Center doc.. LMAO!
I love you guys!
(((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
Humor: Give Me My FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted 9/26/2007 8:37:41 AM
impatient kitty
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Posted 9/26/2007 8:37:41 AM
impatient kitty
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Humor: I Vant To Sleep
Posted 9/22/2007 1:40:18 PM
Give me a few days...I'll be back...my niece tried to kill herself and I've been gone a week dealing with that and moving her up here. I just found out my brother ISN'T in El Paso he's in DALLAS. Where half my family lives.
Goddess give me strength.
My thoughts are with you all. I love you.
Posted 9/22/2007 1:40:18 PM
Give me a few days...I'll be back...my niece tried to kill herself and I've been gone a week dealing with that and moving her up here. I just found out my brother ISN'T in El Paso he's in DALLAS. Where half my family lives.
Goddess give me strength.
My thoughts are with you all. I love you.
Stories: My Brother is Free
Posted 9/6/2007 8:53:08 PM
So... here I sit. Alone. I have cried many times this week. For the first time in 15 years, I have had 5 panic attacks... full blown "oh shit, I'm gonna die, can't breath, someone kill me now" panic attacks.
My house is a disaster. My friends... they ck on me, but less and less each day... and that's my fault. I take full responsibility. I know they love me.
Last week, I got a call while driving to pick up my foster son for an appointment. My brother calls... no big deal. I answered as usual. He said to me, "Sister... I have some news." I was confused then. I asked what. He said, "Our brother is being processed for parole as of Aug. 27. They said it takes about 2 weeks." The rest of what he said was a blur. I started crying hard...and stopped breathing. I knew as soon as I started I wouldnt be able to control it. I told him I had to call my husband.
I turned the van around and he talked me home. Talked me down. Held me when got there. It's hard on him too. He keps saying he would keep me safe. I said, yea.. but what about when you are gone???
Today I went and applied for license to carry a concealed weapon. I already know which gun I'm going to purchase...a Ruger .357 2 14" barrel - easy to carry, to conceal and will stop whatever it hits w/ no issues. One of my father's favorites. I will get my Mossberg soon for the house.
Today while sitting in the car dealership talking about purchasing a new vehicle, my brother called again while the guy was ckin on my car... said "Our brother is getting out on the 8th.. I think thats Monday" wrong... its Saturday. Its freakin SATURDAY!!! I panicked again, right there .... but thats only two. I won't go into the other ones.
I dont sleep... when I do, its broken by nightmares..I have alarms on my doors and windows. He's in El Paso, Tx for Goddess sake! Everyone tells me I'm overreacting, he is old and stupid now. He has had 12 years to fester hatred towards me. He blamed me for taking his wife, his freedom, everything.... and they think he FORGOT? I know better.It may not be right away... He will make them think he's a good parolee. HA! He's never been a good parolee.
Whoever signed those papers are stupid fucking morons. They are sending me a recent picture of him so I can send it to the police departments in the area. I can't put out a restraining order, he will know where I am then.
They take my kids on Monday... It will just be James and I. for the first time ever. No one in my family - even tho they lived with him and know what his is... understands my fears, my heartache, my concern, the nightmares, the horror in my brain... fuck them. Its my pain. I hope I'm the one who takes the son of a bitch down. Let him come... I'll be ready.
Posted 9/6/2007 8:53:08 PM
So... here I sit. Alone. I have cried many times this week. For the first time in 15 years, I have had 5 panic attacks... full blown "oh shit, I'm gonna die, can't breath, someone kill me now" panic attacks.
My house is a disaster. My friends... they ck on me, but less and less each day... and that's my fault. I take full responsibility. I know they love me.
Last week, I got a call while driving to pick up my foster son for an appointment. My brother calls... no big deal. I answered as usual. He said to me, "Sister... I have some news." I was confused then. I asked what. He said, "Our brother is being processed for parole as of Aug. 27. They said it takes about 2 weeks." The rest of what he said was a blur. I started crying hard...and stopped breathing. I knew as soon as I started I wouldnt be able to control it. I told him I had to call my husband.
I turned the van around and he talked me home. Talked me down. Held me when got there. It's hard on him too. He keps saying he would keep me safe. I said, yea.. but what about when you are gone???
Today I went and applied for license to carry a concealed weapon. I already know which gun I'm going to purchase...a Ruger .357 2 14" barrel - easy to carry, to conceal and will stop whatever it hits w/ no issues. One of my father's favorites. I will get my Mossberg soon for the house.
Today while sitting in the car dealership talking about purchasing a new vehicle, my brother called again while the guy was ckin on my car... said "Our brother is getting out on the 8th.. I think thats Monday" wrong... its Saturday. Its freakin SATURDAY!!! I panicked again, right there .... but thats only two. I won't go into the other ones.
I dont sleep... when I do, its broken by nightmares..I have alarms on my doors and windows. He's in El Paso, Tx for Goddess sake! Everyone tells me I'm overreacting, he is old and stupid now. He has had 12 years to fester hatred towards me. He blamed me for taking his wife, his freedom, everything.... and they think he FORGOT? I know better.It may not be right away... He will make them think he's a good parolee. HA! He's never been a good parolee.
Whoever signed those papers are stupid fucking morons. They are sending me a recent picture of him so I can send it to the police departments in the area. I can't put out a restraining order, he will know where I am then.
They take my kids on Monday... It will just be James and I. for the first time ever. No one in my family - even tho they lived with him and know what his is... understands my fears, my heartache, my concern, the nightmares, the horror in my brain... fuck them. Its my pain. I hope I'm the one who takes the son of a bitch down. Let him come... I'll be ready.
Personal Soap Box: Music to make you think
Posted 8/25/2007 7:44:55 PM
="">
Brightest blessings,
Bleu
Posted 8/25/2007 7:44:55 PM
Abortion affects most people throughout their lives even if they don't believe it will. The women have to live with the fact that they had a little life ripped out of them and they will never be able to hold them, hear them say "I love you." Neither parent will ever get that special birthday picture that says "Yor the bst Dady in the wurld" or "You ar speshul Momy!" What would they have looked like? What would their laugh have sounded like? Think before decisions are made... there are always other options.
Happy Birthday lyrics
Happy Birthday...so make a wish
[Verse 1:]
Please accept my apologies, wonder what would have been
Would you've been a little angel or an angel of sin?
Tom-boy running around, hanging with all the guys.
Or a little tough boy with beautiful brown eyes?
I payed for the murder before they determined the sex
Choosing our life over your life meant your death
And you never got a chance to even open your eyes
Sometimes I wonder as a fetus if you faught for your life?
Would you have been a little genius in love with math?
Would you have played in your schoolclothes and made me mad?
Would you have been a little rapper like your papa da Piper?
Would you have made me quit smokin' by finding one of my lighters?
I wonder about your skintone and shape of your nose?
And the way you would have laughed and talked fast or slow?
Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen
Happy birthday, love you whoever you woulda been
Happy birthday...
[Chorus:]
All I thought was a dream (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed (happy birthday)
All I thought was a dream (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed
I made a mistake!
[Verse 2:]
I've got a millon excuses to why you died
Bet the people got their own reasons for homicide
Who's to say it woulda worked, and who's to say it wouldn't have?
I was young and strugglin' but old enough to be your dad
The fear of being a father has never disappeared
Pondering frequently while I'm zippin' on my beer
My vision of a family was artificial and fake
So when it came time to create I made a mistake
Now you've got a little brother maybe he's really you?
Maybe you really forgave us knowin' we was confused?
Maybe everytime that he smiles it's you proudly knowin'
that your father's doin' the right thing now?
I never tell a woman what to do with her body
But if she don't love children then we can't party
Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen
Happy birthday, love you whoever you woulda been
Happy birthday...
[Chorus:]
All I thought was a dream (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed (happy birthday)
All I thought was a dream (yeah, make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed
I made a mistake!
And from the heavens to the womb to the heavens again
From the endin' to the endin', never got to begin
Maybe one day we could meet face to face?
In a place without time and space
Happy birthday...
From the heavens to the womb to the heavens again
From the endin' to the endin', never got to begin
Maybe one day we could meet face to face?
In a place without time and space
Happy birthday...
[Chorus:]
All I thought was a dream (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed (happy birthday)
All I thought was a dream (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed
<font size="3">="">
I made a mistake...!
Brightest blessings,
Bleu
Happy Birthday Devildog!
Posted 8/25/2007 3:30:25 PM
Ummm.... now go follow this link to see his "card"
AsylumBound
Happy birfiday
Now.... run... hurry.....
AsylumBound
Posted 8/25/2007 3:30:25 PM
Ummm.... now go follow this link to see his "card"
AsylumBound
Happy birfiday
Now.... run... hurry.....
AsylumBound
Ten Rules for Being Human
Posted 8/22/2007 9:18:15 PM
by Cherie Carter-Scott
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.
Posted 8/22/2007 9:18:15 PM
by Cherie Carter-Scott
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.
Crystals: Purchasing Stones
Posted 8/19/2007 2:09:32 PM
A good sign when you walk into a stone vendor is if a stone "calls" you. If you are drawn to certain stones, then handle them, see how they feel... purchase one if you can. Individual polished stones are usually not very expensive - anywhere from $.50 - $3.
It is very important to research how to cleanse them. Many stones will fall apart in water or pit in salt. You must know your stone inside out so you can properly care for it.
The more you know, the better you can work with it. For example... you do not want to carry around a Desert Rose (see below) due to its softness, which is 2.5 meaning you can scratch it with your fingernail. It needs to be wrapped in satin to be safe.
Some of the Google searches I use are "hardness scales," "healing properties," and "how to care for healing stones." Make sure you place your stones type before the first two phrases or you will be overwhelmed. Bookmark your favorite sites so you don't always have to do searches. Soon you will be a pro at finding and knowing stones properties!
I went into A Touch of Magick specifically to purchase Jet (one of my all time favorites) and was drawn to these three stones: Citrine, Amber, and Serpentine. Their energies and mine synced and, like a magnet, pulled me in. I need help with the depression, stress and mental anguish I am going through right now. I need help focusing on my meditation and my crown chakra. These stones are PERFECT. I couldn't have found any better.
So, that is a beginner's course in stone purchasing. If you have any questions... PM me or ask here.
Love ya'll!!!
Bleu
Posted 8/19/2007 2:09:32 PM
A good sign when you walk into a stone vendor is if a stone "calls" you. If you are drawn to certain stones, then handle them, see how they feel... purchase one if you can. Individual polished stones are usually not very expensive - anywhere from $.50 - $3.
It is very important to research how to cleanse them. Many stones will fall apart in water or pit in salt. You must know your stone inside out so you can properly care for it.
The more you know, the better you can work with it. For example... you do not want to carry around a Desert Rose (see below) due to its softness, which is 2.5 meaning you can scratch it with your fingernail. It needs to be wrapped in satin to be safe.
Some of the Google searches I use are "hardness scales," "healing properties," and "how to care for healing stones." Make sure you place your stones type before the first two phrases or you will be overwhelmed. Bookmark your favorite sites so you don't always have to do searches. Soon you will be a pro at finding and knowing stones properties!
I went into A Touch of Magick specifically to purchase Jet (one of my all time favorites) and was drawn to these three stones: Citrine, Amber, and Serpentine. Their energies and mine synced and, like a magnet, pulled me in. I need help with the depression, stress and mental anguish I am going through right now. I need help focusing on my meditation and my crown chakra. These stones are PERFECT. I couldn't have found any better.
So, that is a beginner's course in stone purchasing. If you have any questions... PM me or ask here.
Love ya'll!!!
Bleu
Crystals: Stones I bought today
Posted 8/16/2007 10:36:58 PM
I went to the magick shop today and sorted thru their stones... I chose stones that I was not sure what their properties were, but that I was drawn to. Their energies are very specific. It's as if they called to me... This is what I found interesting:
Citrine:
Mental Healing
As mentioned above, healers consider Citrine a self-esteem stone with powers to heal the mind’s feelings of inadequacy and deem it essential for handling negative criticism. It is also good, according to believers, as an energizing stone against power issues of willpower, optimism, confidence and self-discipline. Secondary mental healing traits include its ability to awaken the mind, create clarity and increase knowledge of the self, as well as general relaxation and emotional healing powers and protections against overwhelming fear, depression, money worries and security. Further, because of Citrine’s ability to increase knowledge of the self, New Age healers recommend it in times of introspection, when making choices or when creative solutions are necessary.
Physical Healing
As a stone healers esteem for its powers to cleans the body of toxins and regeneration of body tissues, Citrine is essential for maintaining the health of the digestive, circulatory and urinary system. They believe it eliminates toxins in the second and third chakras and has the power to assist in ailments where toxins can cause discomfort or disease, such as acid indigestion, poor blood circulation, food disorders and allergies.
Amber:
Healing properties: Navel Chakra; Any internal organ, depression, suicidal tendencies.
In healing, Amber is mostly used for its brilliant golden color reflection. By placing Amber over the area of internal organs, these tissues can be revitalized. The gold-orange color is associated with the Navel Chakra and the grounding of energies into the physical body. Amber can be worn or used by people that tend to have suicidal tendencies, who do not want to be in a physical body, or who get depressed easily. It will help ground the higher energies onto the earth plane to be utilized by the body for healing and balancing. Amber can be made into stunning jewelry that can be worn for beauty, as well as for grounding and stabilizing effects.
Serpentine
Used for the 4th or heart chakra. It is also good for enhancing the meditative state (which I need to start doing again). Serpentine can give assistance to the disorders in all the areas of the body, meaning the emotional state, the mental state, as well as the physical state. It stimulates the crown and can clear all other chakras when clouded, but the green is mainly used for the heart chakra.
Serpentine can be helpful in the rise of Kundalini energy. It stimulates the pathway that Kundalini will travel and can lessen the discomfort which is sometimes associated with Kundalini rising. If placed at the crown chakra it acts as a drawing force to get the Kundalini started up the channel.
This stone has been found in the breastplate of the high priestess. It can be used with diabetes (which I am on the borderline of having), hypoglycemia. Jasper is a very nurturing stone. It also protects against negativity and helps to ground with earth energy.
I also bought some wonderfully fragrant joss sticks and some frankincense. I am going to start working on me.
Ciao my friends! Be healthy and happy!
Love, light and peace,
Bleu
Posted 8/16/2007 10:36:58 PM
I went to the magick shop today and sorted thru their stones... I chose stones that I was not sure what their properties were, but that I was drawn to. Their energies are very specific. It's as if they called to me... This is what I found interesting:
Citrine:
Mental Healing
As mentioned above, healers consider Citrine a self-esteem stone with powers to heal the mind’s feelings of inadequacy and deem it essential for handling negative criticism. It is also good, according to believers, as an energizing stone against power issues of willpower, optimism, confidence and self-discipline. Secondary mental healing traits include its ability to awaken the mind, create clarity and increase knowledge of the self, as well as general relaxation and emotional healing powers and protections against overwhelming fear, depression, money worries and security. Further, because of Citrine’s ability to increase knowledge of the self, New Age healers recommend it in times of introspection, when making choices or when creative solutions are necessary.
Physical Healing
As a stone healers esteem for its powers to cleans the body of toxins and regeneration of body tissues, Citrine is essential for maintaining the health of the digestive, circulatory and urinary system. They believe it eliminates toxins in the second and third chakras and has the power to assist in ailments where toxins can cause discomfort or disease, such as acid indigestion, poor blood circulation, food disorders and allergies.
Amber:
Healing properties: Navel Chakra; Any internal organ, depression, suicidal tendencies.
In healing, Amber is mostly used for its brilliant golden color reflection. By placing Amber over the area of internal organs, these tissues can be revitalized. The gold-orange color is associated with the Navel Chakra and the grounding of energies into the physical body. Amber can be worn or used by people that tend to have suicidal tendencies, who do not want to be in a physical body, or who get depressed easily. It will help ground the higher energies onto the earth plane to be utilized by the body for healing and balancing. Amber can be made into stunning jewelry that can be worn for beauty, as well as for grounding and stabilizing effects.
Serpentine
Used for the 4th or heart chakra. It is also good for enhancing the meditative state (which I need to start doing again). Serpentine can give assistance to the disorders in all the areas of the body, meaning the emotional state, the mental state, as well as the physical state. It stimulates the crown and can clear all other chakras when clouded, but the green is mainly used for the heart chakra.
Serpentine can be helpful in the rise of Kundalini energy. It stimulates the pathway that Kundalini will travel and can lessen the discomfort which is sometimes associated with Kundalini rising. If placed at the crown chakra it acts as a drawing force to get the Kundalini started up the channel.
This stone has been found in the breastplate of the high priestess. It can be used with diabetes (which I am on the borderline of having), hypoglycemia. Jasper is a very nurturing stone. It also protects against negativity and helps to ground with earth energy.
I also bought some wonderfully fragrant joss sticks and some frankincense. I am going to start working on me.
Ciao my friends! Be healthy and happy!
Love, light and peace,
Bleu
Mistletoe
6/23/2008 6:35:37 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BLEU-UUU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU!
*hug* I LOVE YA!
Jayde
6/12/2008 5:20:47 PM
Hey you...just stopping by to check in on you and see how things are going....hope all is well....Hugs and cheery smiles!!!
Mistletoe
3/31/2008 4:53:48 PM
Hope to hear from you soon, BFF! I miss you A LOT. :o(
*enormous hugs*
LOVE YOU!
Mistletoe
3/31/2008 4:52:48 PM
uniepoo
3/29/2008 12:40:06 PM
Girly Comments & Graphics
LOVE YA and MISS YA!
figgyjslyme
3/22/2008 4:17:47 PM
Hi Bleu!
Happy Easter!!!
Scoots
3/21/2008 9:25:25 PM
Hi bleu...
uniepoo
3/13/2008 12:45:05 PM
Girly Comments & Graphics
uniepoo
3/5/2008 7:15:14 PM
Girly Comments & Graphics
brianwb2277
3/1/2008 6:10:17 PM
well crap I just log off seen you on and naturaly I gotta say hi . have to watch a hockey game see ya later (((HUG)))
cerridwyn
2/26/2008 11:28:38 AM
Just stopped by to say hi. I'm glad you're feeling better, I am too. Take care seetie.
brianwb2277
2/19/2008 8:13:17 PM
sent you a email read it
brianwb2277
2/19/2008 6:57:46 PM
pretty much the same I am tired of being dizzy and shit I finally have a docs appointment this week. that is if I dont croak between now and friday.
brianwb2277
2/19/2008 6:42:18 PM
how are you doing
its-just-cindi
2/19/2008 4:24:21 PM
Dammit all to hell. You were here, so was I, and I had to close out...and you were gone when I got back. I love ya Bleu! I miss you so much...even when you bitched at me, LOL.
uniepoo
2/19/2008 4:12:44 PM
Hi There Beautiful Bleu. Thank you for being my friend again... I'm going to stay here and fight off the spammers..Not Leaving again... EVER!
KOKO
2/19/2008 4:12:28 PM
Misty's party...got beer backup but better hurry!
brianwb2277
2/18/2008 5:35:35 PM
hey I am back I am stay9ng gotta invite ya accept eh from yer favorite dork
Janis
2/17/2008 7:54:43 PM
Scoots is here cleaning up the place!
Bunny
2/4/2008 10:35:29 AM
Hi bleu, how's my beautiful lady doing? Life's a bitch so bitch back. lol
6/23/2008 6:35:37 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BLEU-UUU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU!
*hug* I LOVE YA!
Jayde
6/12/2008 5:20:47 PM
Hey you...just stopping by to check in on you and see how things are going....hope all is well....Hugs and cheery smiles!!!
Mistletoe
3/31/2008 4:53:48 PM
Hope to hear from you soon, BFF! I miss you A LOT. :o(
*enormous hugs*
LOVE YOU!
Mistletoe
3/31/2008 4:52:48 PM
uniepoo
3/29/2008 12:40:06 PM
Girly Comments & Graphics
LOVE YA and MISS YA!
figgyjslyme
3/22/2008 4:17:47 PM
Hi Bleu!
Happy Easter!!!
Scoots
3/21/2008 9:25:25 PM
Hi bleu...
uniepoo
3/13/2008 12:45:05 PM
Girly Comments & Graphics
uniepoo
3/5/2008 7:15:14 PM
Girly Comments & Graphics
brianwb2277
3/1/2008 6:10:17 PM
well crap I just log off seen you on and naturaly I gotta say hi . have to watch a hockey game see ya later (((HUG)))
cerridwyn
2/26/2008 11:28:38 AM
Just stopped by to say hi. I'm glad you're feeling better, I am too. Take care seetie.
brianwb2277
2/19/2008 8:13:17 PM
sent you a email read it
brianwb2277
2/19/2008 6:57:46 PM
pretty much the same I am tired of being dizzy and shit I finally have a docs appointment this week. that is if I dont croak between now and friday.
brianwb2277
2/19/2008 6:42:18 PM
how are you doing
its-just-cindi
2/19/2008 4:24:21 PM
Dammit all to hell. You were here, so was I, and I had to close out...and you were gone when I got back. I love ya Bleu! I miss you so much...even when you bitched at me, LOL.
uniepoo
2/19/2008 4:12:44 PM
Hi There Beautiful Bleu. Thank you for being my friend again... I'm going to stay here and fight off the spammers..Not Leaving again... EVER!
KOKO
2/19/2008 4:12:28 PM
Misty's party...got beer backup but better hurry!
brianwb2277
2/18/2008 5:35:35 PM
hey I am back I am stay9ng gotta invite ya accept eh from yer favorite dork
Janis
2/17/2008 7:54:43 PM
Scoots is here cleaning up the place!
Bunny
2/4/2008 10:35:29 AM
Hi bleu, how's my beautiful lady doing? Life's a bitch so bitch back. lol
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