ajatron

All day laundry

posted on 4/17/2008 3:48:47 PM in (2) Comments









Today has been strange. I got up around 9 this morning and spent about 2 hours filling out some "intense" job application. I had an interview with the college councilor, but I canceled. I felt fine when I got up, but about an hour into it I started vomiting. I vomit a lot, so thats no big surprise. Just sucks when you get sick in the morning before you eat and all you have is stomach acid. Yuck. I layed down after that while Ruca tried to borrow under the pillow with me. Weird how dogs can tell when you don't feel good. I think its just anxiety. Theres so much going on in my life. Good stuff, bad stuff, fucking bizzare stuff, and just about everything inbetween. I guess I can't complain that lifes not interesting.

Today was a very special day in the upside down realm of confusion that is my life. After doing my online application, and being surprised that I was still on top of my game at math, I called my mom. She's about an hour from me and is pretty stressed about her job at the moment. We talked for a while and she made me decide that lifes not as bad as I've been making it out to be. Theres a lot of things we have in common for being 25 years apart in age. I think she's in the exact same spot I am only she's not at the beginning of her life. I never really thought about it till today. She's always just been this strong amazing woman that always got whatever needed to be done, done and could never be broken. I think thats where I get my strength from. Both of us are always so strong for everyone else that we forget about ourselves. I just look at her and get mad sometimes because I know how smart and strong she is and I don't know why she's not doing something better with her life. Maybe its because she loves what she does, maybe its because shes good at what she does, maybe its because this is her thing... she's doing it on her own and no one is helping her. I have no idea. I bet she thinks the same thing about me sometimes too. With all the bad things going on we always seem to pull ourselves toward the good. If there is nothing else I got from my mom... I got that.

I always make things out to be worse than they are. I have a roof over my head, a car to drive, a family that loves me and a great support system. I've lost part of my family recently (emotionally, not physically), but I think that just makes a person stronger and more determined.

Lately life has just been hard and I've made it harder. I have entirely too much time to think about things and to surround myself with things that I hate. It's like completely despising someone and keeping pictures of them in every room of your house.

Good things in life that I am thankful for are:
God, David and my dog family, my mom and brother, Eva and Rachel, Joy lemon kitchen soap, vacuums, Super Mario Bros. 3, Tacos, great weather, rain, unemployment, Davids job, make up, yahoo pool, my cameras, the zoo, David's door handle breaking (that made me laugh a lot), and wind. I'm sure there are lots of other things I am thankful for, but I don't feel like listing them.

One thing that has always worked for me is telling myself that I am a happy, healthy, successful person in life and in spirit.

Thanks for listening. I'm sure I will be back.

Another Day...

posted on 4/15/2008 4:13:50 PM in (2) Comments







Ok, so I'm waiting on a call on a job I really hope I get at a vets office. I'm going to be crushed if they pick a family member to work there instead of me :( I'm so anxious I can hardly stand myself. Lucky for me... David left the "emergency" cigarettes here. You can bet your sweet ass I'm suckling on one of those in a few minutes - That sounds so dirty. I have my trailer up on ebay today and it has an hour left... so thats only adding to the anxiety. I really hope it sells. Please pray that I get this job and someone makes an offer. I need this. If not I'm going to have a stress induced heart attack... or something close to. With my luck I'll just have a stroke that paralyzes me for the rest of my life... but only on one side, and it will affect my ability to pee on my own. :) I'll be back soon.

J.May. and the misery that follows...

posted on 4/6/2008 3:21:03 AM in (0) Comments






As I'm about to enjoy another peaceful trip to music land on my laptop, my good friend John Mayer decides to stop by in my headphones and ruin my life.

He sings a song - "How much it hurts". This is the saddest thing in the world next to "Comfortable". Seriously, I've had to pull over on the side of the road because I was crying too hard to drive... and I don't cry.

It's a good song, but com'on. Why so sad J.May? Do you need a little hug or something? I'm willing to do that... for you. Cheer up buddy, you are bringing us all down.

Aja... ASIA

posted on 4/5/2008 2:09:11 AM in (1) Comments

Geez, lifes been crazy. I like it and loathe it at the same time. This job thing is really getting me down. It seems like its too much to ask for a job with benefits AND enough money to pay the rent... its either one or the other. Oh, and I got turned down for a job because I can't speak spanish. I'm half German and half English, and all American. I SPEAK ENGLISH AND SO SHOULD YOU! It just pisses me off. Aliens coming in, taking jobs that belong to us and then getting paid more for them because they have learned "enough" english to be considered... bilingual. FUCK!

I keep thinking about starting my own business, but I havent got a clue on were to come from. My whole idea about 'just add water cereal' is out the door because some douche got to the patten office before me. (I may be a little sarcastic about this being a "good" idea).

I just feel like the world is getting me down, and enjoying it. I have honestly never tried harder in my life to make something out of nothing and usually shit just falls into my lap... but not this time. It's not that case at all. AHHHHHh!!!!!

My Other Dog Has Myspace!

posted on 3/22/2008 12:24:50 AM in (0) Comments

Please visit him at:
www.myspace.com/getwithtrigger

My Dog Has Myspace

posted on 3/21/2008 1:33:03 AM in (2) Comments

It's frickin hilarious.

Please visit her at:
www.myspace.com/rucaallen

Pictures

posted on 3/19/2008 1:06:14 AM in (0) Comments

ME AND MY LOVE







GREAT BIG LONGHORN SKULL IN WACO







ONE OF MY FAVIES









IT SNOWED







EXTRA AWESOME





MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL







ONE OF MY OTHER FAVIES

Joby Job Job

posted on 3/19/2008 12:46:25 AM in (0) Comments

It's THAT time of year again. The time of year when there really aren't too many storms brewing and no ones house is getting blown away, flooded, or burned to the ground. But, most importantly its the time of the year when I don't have a job. I've been online the last few weeks (or if I'm being honest... months) putting out my application, most of the time only to receive "work at home and make $500000000 an hour" invitations. This is beyond lame. I went in for an interview at Ethan Allen, but they don't pay much more than Subway. So, I set my sights on bigger and brighter things... Waco, Tx. Actually, David got a job here so me being here was by default. Theres a whole lot of nothing here and the only decent place to live is three miles from the Koresh Compound. I feel like the job gods are mocking me. It's going to be hell finding anything out here. Wish me luck.

Nightly Ramblings

posted on 3/17/2008 3:50:24 AM in (0) Comments




It's been a while since I've been on here. Mostly due to me not caring, but now I am bored because I can't sleep and David has to be up early for work tomorrow. Therefore, I must find some way to entertain myself in the late hours and the prostitutes just aren't doing the trick anymore - no pun intended. I've been researching this lady called "Petra Luna". She was on the 20/20 age of consent report a few days ago. She has some kind of campaign going on for helping put sexual offenders behind bars. I have a huge issue with the way the whole "sex offender next door" program is working now. What if a 17 year old has sex with his 16 year old girlfriend and the dudes father presses charges against him. Then his life is fucked forever due to him and his consenting girlfriends actions. Doesn't really seem fair that this is the way the system works. Petra Luna said pretty much that its very rare that that happens and oh well. These young men cant get decent jobs and are forever looked on as a pervert. Doesn't really seem fair. I'm sure most of the US population (for my generation) was having sex at the age of 15 or 16. I'm really pissed that someone could discard another person life like that. Not to mention the lady dresses like a whore for her "music videos". I'm not saying she is a bad person by any means. Her intentions are good, but I was really offended by how she was so fast to throw out the idea that young men who did nothing wrong are getting put away or filed as sex offenders. I haven't read too much about this lady, but I'm most definitely looking into it. Hopefully she knows what shes supporting.