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WannaPlayBunny
Member Since: 9/25/2006 12:13:32 PMLast Seen: 10/20/2006 7:51:45 PM
About Me
Music: ANTIGONE RISING Status: Lesbian-stuck in a marriage. |
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My Friends WannaPlayBunny has 14 friends. View all of WannaPlayBunny's friends. |
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Posted 10/20/2006 11:35:49 AM
So, I just wanted to clue everyone in.... I've moved back to Florida. Away from the husband. Away from the abuse. Away from the drama. Now I have a story to tell. One night he and I had a couple of baby free hours, so we went out with a couple of friends to the bowling alley. I had quite a bit to drink....like 4 double shots of jose cuervo, 2 jack and cokes or some nasty hard drink. And I was so wasted, sick and wasted. I don't remember much about the night after we left the bowling alley. Well, I had to go to work the next morning...and I woke up at about 7ish, and could barely sit up. My whole body was sore. My ass to be exact. And I'm like wtf....well I went to work, hurting all day, and hungover. Get home...and tell him that I'm hurting and he's like "Oh I had sex with you last night like 3 times." I'm like was I coherent?? Fuck I don't remember anything. He was like "no that's why i finally got to hit in the ass." I could have just died. Not only did he fuck me like a man and a woman normally do....he fucked me in the ass more than once. How shitty is that?? For a whole week my ass was fucked up. How can a man do that to the woman he supposedly loves?? That's when I knew it was time to go. I had to find away out. He had told me a couple of times that if I left him, he would hunt me down and kill me. So that frightened me just a tad bit. I knew that when i got taht call to come back to Florida for my grandma, that I wouldn't be returning. He called like 5 times, during the extrememly exhausting first couple of days (when I was sitting beside my Nana, while she was slowly passing over.) And he only talked of himself. it was just horrible. He didn't ask how I was doing orhow our son was doing....he was just talking about himself and what he had been doing. I knew it was over, I hadn't even thought of him at all. Didn't care what he was doing....and could still care less. Atleast I tried to make things work.....I feel like now I have closure. Our five years....are finally over. Unfortunately....I don't know how long it will take for this divorce to be over. But for now, I'm fine he's out of my hair. I created this account because, he know's the page address to my other account and was getting on to look at it randomly.....and I didn't want to start anymore shit between us, or trigger his anger by what I have been saying. All of his anger seems to be pointed at me at all times....and he's dangerous. But I needed an escape...so I decided blogging would be best. For those of yawl that have myspace...... look me up!! www.myspace.com/i_hang_my_barbies Until Next Time. I Remain. Such A Grouch. Magic.
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Posted 9/26/2006 9:13:16 AM
In life we all make choices...some good, some bad, some on impulse, some after being thought out. I made a decision on impulse. An extremely emotional decision that has caused me a great deal of unhappiness....But for 3 long months I have put on my fake smile, laughed my fake laughs, endured my unhappiness because I knew of the hurt and drama it would bring your family if I were to admit my mistake. Honestly it's not you that I care if I hurt. You are the last person. You mentally and physically abuse me. Even though the physical hasn't happened for quite sometime.....I'm pretty sure I broke you from sucking eggs when I pulled that knife out....and threatened you within an inch of your life. You still have no compassion for life. You aren't responsible....you painted a pretty picture and 3 days after we were married you changed. I work 12-15 hour days so I don't have to see you, and listen to you. I told you what was going on with my grandma...and all you could say was "don't act like you're the only one who had a bad day." How can you say something like that to the woman you supposedly love. haven't you noticed we have only had sex 3 times and one of those times I can't even remember....because I had BLACKED out? Not only did you take advantage of me....I couldn't sit down right for a week....so double whammy. That's not right..... You get mad because I don't want to go out and do things that our child cant do. So you just leave at 4pm and stay gone till 5 in the morning doing only god knows what. Then come home adn expect things to be alright. I don't think so....I'm wasn't mad because you went out. I was mad because you woke me up at 5 after I had already been up with the baby twice....and still had to get up and go to work at 7 while you slept in....and got your mom to watch the baby for the day. I've tried to say its just because you are young. But really....I can't say that anymore. I can't stand to look at you...the thought of you touching me disgusts me. When we have had sex, I have had to keep my mind far away from what was going on...to keep from puking or crying. i am done for now. nice vent until next time i remain. such a grouch. Guess Who.
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Posted 9/25/2006 12:27:50 PM
Well, for those of you all that know me...you know that I'm married. Unhappily married. He and I have been married for 3 months, and I know it was a bad decison. Thank god I learn from my mistakes. I wont make this one again. I got married for the wrong reasons....even though I know that I have no sexual attraction to men at all. I have a son. He is absolutely my world...and I felt like he should have a father. I wanted to get away from my mother... in florida, so I took the only exit I could see and got the hell out of dodge. Now, I know that I made a bad decision, although living unhappily, I'm still happier than I was when I was with my mom. So now, I'm stuck, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to say what I need to say to him. More so than being stuck. I'm scared. I don't know what he is capable of if pushed to a limit. He and I have had our knock down drag outs in the last few years... How do I nicely make it all go away. I just want to be out of this. Goddamn, I have really fucked up now. Just thought I'd write a quick blog and clue yawl in until next time. I remain. Such a grouch. Guess Who.
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