Underground American Day

One word: dang. Clickkk. Insanity. (2) Comments

Posted: 5/14/2007 9:33:05 AM

It's Hard To Believe :'(

We're actually moving again. I've lost track of how many houses I've lived in and how many schools I've been to. I'm trying to look on the brightside, and I've discoved two potentially good things about this move: I'll live closer to my best friend, and I don't have switch schools. I still can't believe it though. Moving completly tears down my psych, I just... urg, just can't handle it. I guess I have to though. It'll be alright. I seen a full arc rainbow for the first time the other day. It was the most spectacular thing. (0) Comments

Posted: 5/6/2007 3:27:38 PM

Tuesday`s With Morrie

Everytime I sit down to write about my day... my mind tends to go blank. I can't recall anything terribly important that I've done today. I woke up feeling relativly fine and somewhat looking forward to the day that awaited. Then, I got to school only to discover a completly euphoric feeling that I had only known from one person, in another. When he touched me, I felt funny in that spot for the rest of the day. Then, I came home to a small let-down, but recovered quickly after I satisfied myself by cleaning up the kitchen for my mother. Now, I'm just relaxing... content with the thought in mind that we only have 11 more days of school left. :] Which is odd, because I know 1 week into summer, I'll be thinking, "How long until school starts back?" (2) Comments

Posted: 5/4/2007 5:52:49 PM

Quick Update :]

No time, but: -internet back -braces -running track -4.0 GPA -scripting hobby -completly content :D (1) Comments

Posted: 4/19/2007 6:46:55 PM

Have I Been Gone Long Enough Yet?

Woww. Quite a while has passed since I was last on here. Long enough for me to get my shit in order, I guess. I am a few months away from being free from school and am anticipating the boring summer that awaits. I've been pushing myself in school and stressing terribly. The good news: 4.0 GPA. Hopefully I'll find a job to keep my mind occupied as opposed to sitting around reading. (Which is what Ive been doing. -shrug-... I complete an average of 3 books a week.) I get braces in a few days, to fix the gap in my teeth I have been self-conscience about since I was younger. :]] Im so excited I cant breath... but everyone else is a little disappointed. They say, "It sets you apart." It makes me not want to smile. I also solved the rubiks cube, tell me that isnt the shit! I am sorry that it may seem I forgot about everyone, but it made me excited to see that I still recieved comments from those I consider friends, I just didnt have access to the internet. (Dispite my Web Design class. :P) Which, by the way, supports my highest grade. [99.8 A]--I'll try to post more often and let everyone know what's happening in my life. I suppose I need a vent. (0) Comments

Posted: 2/1/2007 9:37:10 PM

Boring. Just Boring.

Nothing much has been happening. Just figured I owed everyone an update. Things are still being sorted out. Everyone is fine though. I'll write more later, I promise. (3) Comments

Posted: 8/31/2006 9:40:40 AM

Finally Some Time To Write

Okay, so life has been pretty hectic lately. Let me go back about a week ago, maybe, I know it was on a Saturday. Actually... I better tell you some background information first. For as long as I can remember Mom and Dad have gotten drunk and Dad would be the shit out of my mother. (Do not put all of the blame on him, I know it's not right for a man to hit a women, but she egged him on.) Nothing has ever been done about it. People have tried to help us, but my mom pushes them away. Things would be fine for about 2 months, but then it would happen again, but the next day, we all went on like nothing happened. So last Saturday, (I think.) We had some people visiting us from Michigan. (A women, Heather. A man, Tony. And their three kids...) Anyway! Mom left when Tony started drinking. But she herself went out and got a little tipsy. Dad came home from a run, (truck driver) drank a little moonshine with Tony but then laid down. Mom came home and as soon as she stepped out of the car Tony called her a whore. I was in my room with my little brother just hanging out because he likes that. :) Anyways... I heard a huge comotion in the living room. I told Trace to stay in my room, not to come out and that I would be right back. When I left the room Mom was up in Tony's face yelling at him and hitting him. The first thing I did was walk over to Mom and touch her sholders. I made her sit down in a chair and told her, well... kinda yelled, because she was still yelling at Tony, that it wasnt fair for her to hit him, because he would not hit her back. She kept yelling to me that he called her a whore, I looked at Heather, Tony's wife, and she nodded her head, like, "yeah, he called her a whore." Soooo... I looked at Tony and told him to go. I told mom that it was just the moonshine talking and he would never disrespect her like that, but she wouldnt listen. I told her she was being childish listening to him and taking it so offensivly if she knew it wasnt true, because we all know she isnt a whore. ANYWAY, everyone calmed down and the mom got the idea in her head that she was going to wake up Dad. WHICH I KNEW WAS A BAD BAD BAD IDEA. because she had been drinking and he hates it when she drinks and they both get pretty violent, and my little brother was in the house, of course I didnt want that. I thought I had talked her out of it, but when I went into the kitchen to finish the dishes, I heard her yell at Dad to wake up... I seen Dad like, stumble into the livving room... Mom was yelling at him that he was a stupid fucker and that he told Tony she was a whore. Dad stood there all taken aback like, What are you talking about? Thennn... Mom threw a glass vase, with glass flowers in it at Dad. Now remmeber, I've been dealing with this shit my entire life, so I figured now was the time to just stop worrying about what they did to each other and just let them work it out. (All I was worried about was my brother in my bed room... I went in there and checked on him a hella lotta times with a huge smile on my face, I told him he was doing great being so good.) After she threw the flowers I got the broom and started sweeping up the mess around them. Then Tony walked back in. And Mom yelled at him, awful thigs. That's Dad's best friend.. so he ran at her and "tackled" her into the entertainment center. Then he hit her in the face a few times while she was down. They fought hard, he broke her nose and put a hairline fracture in her jaw. Fastforward about 30 mins and everythign is calmed down again, I was left to tend to mom and Dad went outside. I sat mom up and then... I dont remmeber what I did right after that. Oh yeah, I got all of the money out of her purse and folded it neatly, to keep safe. Then she decided to call the cops... so the police came... (I'm getting tired of typing so I'm stopping with the details, but I could tell you everything up to the type of beer that was spilled on the floor when Mom fell into the chair.) Now, all of us kids live with my Uncle, just temporary, maybe. We still get to see both of our parents, almost everyday. Everybody just thinks that it'll be easier for them to get their shit together without us around. Oh yeah, they want to put me in counciling. The social worker thinks I'm 'emotionaly hard'. Which I'm not, I just... I'm tired of burdening myself with the hardships of others. I worry and care about other people too damn much. Maybe more later. (3) Comments

Posted: 8/22/2006 9:52:26 AM

How I Feel

(2) Comments

Posted: 8/17/2006 9:35:24 AM

A Quick Picture

I thought I was going to melt: (1) Comments

Posted: 8/16/2006 9:59:54 AM

I'm Backkkk

Heya... got a load to write about, but I'm very very very busy I havent even looked at the computer since my last post. I shall catch up with everyone as soon as I get a chance... Sorry this is so short. Good Day everyone. (1) Comments

Posted: 8/8/2006 10:49:03 PM

Ohio!

Yes, I'm taking off for Ohio in a few hours. I was suppose to leave at 5 this morning, but we had some set backs. :) All is well in the world though. Just figured I'd let you guys know that I was gonna be gone for about a week. Gonna go see an old friend and play music. Yeeesss. I've been waiting to go to Dayton all summer. (1) Comments

Posted: 7/31/2006 3:08:56 PM

.Italics In The Bible.WhatDoYouThink?

Finally, a little free time. :) Alright... I decided to read through Genesis the other night. I was reading when I came to this: "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." -Genesis 1:26(KJV) Let us? make man in our? image, after our? likeness? Woah, right? Why not Let me make man in my image, after my likeness? So, I figured I would go to church and ask around and get a few peoples opinion on it, the only answer I got was, "The Holy Ghost." What exactly is the Holy Spirit? I always thought of it as, like, a feeling. You know? Just part of the Trinity. (The Father, The Son, The Holy Ghost.) I'm still not sure on exactly how long it has been around, you know? If The Son wasnt around in the begining, who's to say neither was the Holy Spirit? [Web Defintions For The Holy Spirit.]So who exactly is this verse referring to? I'm still unsure on what I believe right at this moment. Anyway... moving onto the intended topic. ...Italics in the Bible. I've always read italics and emphisized the word that was being italisized. You know? But a few verses I read, it didnt make sense to have them in italics. I looked around on the web and found out that, "The italicized words in the King James Bible are words that were added by the translators to help the reader."[Source.]Come on now, that doesnt seem very fair?? For as long as I can remember, I've said that I couldnt trust what was written in the Bible, because the Bible was written by man. And Christians always countered that, "They werent just men, they were men of God." Well, what now? Translators dont have to be men of God, they are just men. You know? Changing a few words in a verse can really change the entire meaning! Take... Genesis 1:16 for example. This is the verse, excluding the italics: And God made two great lights: the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: ___ the stars also. You would think to fill in the blank with the word 'and' wouldnt you? Instead, this is what it says: And God made two great lights: the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. It may not be that much of a difference, but I just dont like the idea that a translator had the power to do something like that. Or look at Psalm 7:11 with the italicized words omitted: "God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry every day." With the italicized words though: "God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day." Now, that is DEFINENTLY not fair! God must get just as angry with the righteous when they do something wrong, as he is with the wicked! ---- I have to quit writing for today, I'm getting sleepy for the first time in ages. :) I hope you all have an excellent morning. (5) Comments

Posted: 7/27/2006 11:37:24 PM

.Tones Of Home.

WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD SAY IF I STOOD UP AND I WALKED AWAY NOBODY HERE REALLY UNDERSTANDS ME, AND SO I'LL WAVE GOODBYE I'M FINE AND I'M FINE TONES OF HOME SAID YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY I'M LIVING TONES OF HOME TONES OF HOME AND SO I WAVE GOODBYE I'M FLYIN, AND I'M FLYIN HOME AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE THE LAND OF MILK AND HONEY OH BUT I COME TO FIND OUT THAT IT'S ALL HATE AND MONEY AND THERE'S A CANOPY OF GREED HOLDING ME DOWN TONES OF HOME SAID YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY I'M LIVING TONES OF HOME TONES OF HOME AND SO I WAVE GOODBYE I'M FLYIN, I'M FLYIN HOME SEE I'M SO HIGH TO YOU, BUT I'LL FADE AWAY I SAID YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN YOUR MOM AND DADDY SAID, THAT YOUR SISTER SAID, AND YOUR BROTHER'S SAYING THEY'RE SAYING EVERYBODY, THEY'RE SAYING EVERYBODY IS SAYIN I, EYE.. ALL MY FRIENDS PATRONIZE ME, AND THEY SAY "YO HEY BOY! HAVE YOU FOUND WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?" IT SEEMS THEY DON'T REALLY KNOW ME CAUSE IT'S HERE, AND IT'S WHAT THEY CAN'T SEE TONES OF HOME SAID YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY I'M LIVING TONES OF HOME TONES OF HOME AND SO I WAVE GOODBYE AND I'M FLYIN, AND I'M FLYIN HOME I actually, I love a shit load of Blind Melon songs, I think theyre my second favorite band, Alice In Chains being the first. I think. Lol, I've always had a hard time with favorite music. :)*yawns* I have a very nasty taste in my mouth and I dont feel good at all... I slept all day, sorta. I wish I would have, I feel so sad. :( Gosh, I feel so sad... arsdfasdflkajs dflasdfasdfasdf. <-- I'm speachless today. That's all that comes out when I try to talk, lol. On a better note, I had time to read the entire Tao Te Ching again. :D Go me. I'm in love with that book. I'm eager to read through the Chang-Tzu again also. Oh yes, I've found some very ... odd verses in the Bible. There shall be an entire post devoted to it, when I feel like it, I suppose. ... [[DOESN'T ANYBODY FEEL THAT ALL THESE KILLERS SHOULD BE KILLED AND ALL THESE HEALERS SHOULD BE HEALED SO ALL THESE BEGGARS CAN BE FILLED]] (1) Comments

Posted: 7/26/2006 11:24:27 PM

ARSDFLAKSDJFAS;;

I've realized so much within the past few days... gosh, I really wanna write them down, but I dont have the time! I just dropped in to share with you guys my current favorite picture. :) I'm sorry I havent replied to your comments... I'll get back to you as soon as possible, okay? (1) Comments

Posted: 7/26/2006 11:29:04 AM

I'm Leaving For A Little;;

School is starting back soon. August 8th. Me, Mom and my cousin Cindy went into to check out my teachers... they werent there, but we still looked around the school. I only got to pick two of my classes but I got both of them, so I'm happy. ^.^ I'm excited for school to start, really.. I enjoy learning a lot. So I've come to the conclusion to further focus my attention on school, I'm cutting down on my internet time. I'll be on like... every few days, maybe. Not to mention my recent post have been sorry. :P I've had 3 Pepsi's in the last 2 hours... I cant quit looking at the bug on the wall. It's a huge well.. I dont know. It's big. My kitty ran it inside and then lost interest. It looks like it's made outta leaves. It's beautiful. --I have to go make my little brother some soup. He's buggin me for it. There is sure to be another post before I shun my computer. (0) Comments

Posted: 7/24/2006 1:29:54 PM

Whoopsi.

I did the silliest thing about two hours ago. I put dinner in the oven, but didnt turn it on. It stayed that way for about an hour! I was like, ekkk! I finished The 12th Planet today. It took longer than I thought because I didnt get to read the entire time I was over at Uncles. I'll have to save my thoughts on it for another time. I'm expecting a phone call. :) I'm going to go eat the dinner I had to wait an extra hour on. Lol. MOM LAUGHED WHEN I SHOWED HER THIS: (2) Comments

Posted: 7/21/2006 7:43:56 PM

He Lights Up My Life, It's A Wonderful Feeling.

I'm feeling so much better today. It's unreal. I woke up around 12am to my brother(3yrsold)laying on my back and my sister(11yrsold)sitting on my feet. I had fallen asleep on the couch in the livving room. They said I looked so peacful and they didnt wanna wake me up... so they sat on me. Lol. I rolled off of the couch, grabbed the phone and scuttled off to my room to crash on my bed and call Xander. His voice was just what I needed. I had to give up the phone for a few hours, because I figured if I gave Livvie the phone then I could just have it for the rest of the night. :) She left for Uncles house, so I get it all to myself tonight. I've laughed more today then I've laughed all week. I feel like I'm high. But I'm not, because I dont do drugs. My words keep jumbling up and stuff. He's the only one out there that can change how Im feeling on a dime. I love that he has that power. It's comforting knowing he is always going to be there for me. Im in love with this boy, dontcha know. ------- *yawns* I'm off to find something to do while my phone charges. It went dead on me. :( Blahhhh. (1) Comments

Posted: 7/19/2006 4:29:47 PM

I Never Had Time For Fairy Tales

I just watched Anastasia. You know, that little kid movie? And I do, I think about this often, but I havent been really really really sad in a long long time. But this movie, it really hit me in the gut. I grew up kinda quick, and I relize, I never had time to ponder about what life was going to be like. I never dreamed of marrying Prince Charming. Something is going on in my head, I can feel it. You know what I mean? The other day... I was so excited, and I wasnt sure why, but then, when I left the house with my Grandma, Mike and Livvie I just started crying. I couldnt help it. And just a few mins ago... I sat down to goof around online and I just started crying. I would never talk about this out loud. I know that the way I act affects people around me and I really want everyone to be happy. So... I just kinda hold it all inside. It's been that way as long as I can remember, really. I think it's because of my Grandma. She taught me to be courtious(sp? lol) of the people around me. Ive always done very well in school, but I never talked about it, especially because my sister didnt do so well. She's had a hard time coping with our life. I wish that this was a private journal, that no one had to see... :( I just, I need a vent, and I type faster than I write. My insides feel a squished. And my mind is just... clogged. I cant sort out my thoughts. You know that overwhelming feeling, like everything is just pilling on? I dont know why I'm feeling this way right now, because normally it only happens durring school. But, I feel like I cant get anything under control. I wish everything would just slow down for a min and let me get things situatuated. And this is going to sound very silly, but my room is messy. And that isnt helping me at all. There must be millions of people that feel this way! Why do I feel like I cant handle my life right now? I'm strong, I had it all perfect before, I know I can get it back. Maybe this is the reason I havent been sleeping. I just lay there until around 6:35am, then I force myself to go to sleep. But, I wake up at 10:30, 11am. I cant focus on my reading either. And when I try to draw, I get very very frusterated because I cant make the picture look like I want it to. The only music that seems to be registering with me is sad. There is constantly a very uneasy feeling in my tummy. Fuck. I fucking hate this. I hate this feeling. I just want to sleep. I just want to go to sleep and get away from it all. I wish I would let myself take drugs, then I wouldnt have so much of a problem, but I could never do that, ever. It doesnt make sense, I'm just 15, this isnt fair. Everything around here is so stressful! There is always screaming and fighting. I just want to relax. Someone come steal me away please? Please? Edit: I hope to invent something one day that finds the perfect words to describe how one is feeling, because what I just wrote, isnt even a quarter of my feelings or thoughts or... damnit. ----- YOUR WORDS THEY MAKE JUST A WHISPER YOUR FACE IS SO UNCLEAR I TRY TO PAY ATTENTION BUT THE WORDS JUST DISAPPEAR CUZ IT'S ALWAYS RAINING IN MY HEAD FORGET ALL THE THINGS I SHOULD HAVE SAID SO I SPEAK TO YOU IN RIDDLES CUZ MY WORDS GET IN MY WAY I SMOKE THE WHOLE THING TO MY HEAD AND FEEL IT WASH AWAY CUZ I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS I WANNA COME APART AND DIG MYSELF A LITTLE HOLE INSIDE YOUR PRECIOUS HEART CUZ IT'S ALWAYS RAINING IN MY HEAD FORGET ALL THE THINGS I SHOULD HAVE SAID I AM NOTHING MORE THAN A LITTLE BOY INSIDE THAT CRIES OUT FOR ATTENTION THAT I ALWAYS TRY TO HIDE CUZ I TALK TO YOU LIKE CHILDREN THOUGH I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL BUT I KNOW I'LL DO THE RIGHT THING IF THE RIGHT THING IS IN FEAR CUZ ITS ALWAYS RAINING IN MY HEAD FORGET ALL THE THINGS I SHOULD HAVE SAID (2) Comments

Posted: 7/19/2006 1:17:54 AM

Bored. =)

I've been at my Uncles house for some time now, I'm scared to go home. We dont have phone or internet. I would probably lay around and get fat. :P The only downside to being here, is I cant find a spot to read. And I really feel like reading. There is constantly 5 million people here. My Uncle, Mike, Aaron and Chris took off to Michigan yesterday. They got there around 8:07pm. They were going to get Mike's truck. I still cant believe that he just up and left his house and the job he had lined up. (Going to get recruited into the National Guard. The recruiter was ready to pull him in.) Anyways... he didnt tell anyone he was leaving or anything. But he loves it here. Which is cool. He's been working. I'm very thankful that we all have him in our lives, because, I for one, believe that he was a big influence on my uncle/bestfriend. Uncle wasnt the best of people when it came to drugs. But he's sober now, I'm so proud of him. He works 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. :( I guess that leaves no time for drugs. :P Everyone is still in bed right now. I woke up at 8am. Insane. I went to sleep at 11:34. THAT JUST DOESNT HAPPEN! I've been staying up until 6am. For like, 3 days straight, and then sleeping until about 11am. I was just so tired last night... --Currently Listening To:-- -Heaven Beside You;;Alice In Chains- (0) Comments

Posted: 7/17/2006 9:51:31 AM

Genesis 6

Alright, let me start off by warning you that I am deffiently no good at explaining things. It's easier for you to just pick up what I've read to maybe understand where I'm coming from. With that thought in mind, I'm going to point something out that makes complete sense to me. In Genesis Chapter 6:4, KJV this is said: "There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were old, men of renown." As you know, I am reading the 12th Planet and this is having some infulence on how I view things. Somewhat. There is a section in the book concerning the above text. After reading it the first person I called up was my Grandmother, strong Christian but open minded. She views religion like I think it should be viewed, as a way to help you deal with your life. (At least, that's what I get from her, it may not be so.) ANYWAYS, lol. I called and asked her who she thought the "giants" were. She didnt have an answer for me, so she gave the phone to my buddy Mike. (He's 20, very nice, very devoted to God.) He said that back then humans werent built the same and that some could be 8ft tall. I came back stating that it would make so sense to refer to someone who was different as a giant. If it was common to see 8ft tall men walking around, you know? When Grandma asked me what I thought I warned her to open her mind a little bit. :P I said that the book I'm reading posses the theory that those "giants" were the Nefilim, (A differnet race of intellegent beings who found earth and helped 'boost' our evolution.) It sounds very silly, trust me, I know. But it makes some sense. I'm more than half way throught the book (pg.295 outta 422) and there is so much evidence! For instance, The word 'Nefilim' means exactly 'Giants'. And there is something else I can pull right off of the top of my head and that is that wayyyyyy back then it is suggested in Sumerian texts that they could travel easily throught the air. (Flying!) And the people that had the equipment to do so were depicted in pictures with what looked to be eagle wings strapped to thier backs. Wellll... for the Apollo 11 mission, the emblem that the astronauts wore on thier suits had and Eagle on it. How could we help but fall into that... I dont know the word. Ekk, I wish I was better at this, lol. There is so much information in this book its insane... I know I didnt give you guys much, but I have to go, I need the phone. (Poo on Dial-Up.) I hope you all have a nice afternoon and a good morning. :) --------- Currently Jamming To: Last Dance With Mary Jane --Tom Petty (1) Comments

Posted: 7/13/2006 10:28:03 PM

I Feel Like Crying. =(

My brother just came running inside all messed up yelling something about bugs eating my dog, Kong. (German police dog.) He was stuttering and everything. (He's just 3yrsold.) Anyway... Dad walked out side and he had been hit by a car. :'( Trace thought the bugs had eaten him to death. My Dad was really close to him. I feel awful. ---- On a better note, I suppose... I watched something about Atlantis today. And they interviewed Zechariah Sitchin! He wrote the book The 12th Planet. (The one I'm reading, on page 197. I had to stop reading for two days because I went to my Uncles house.) Anyway... If you are open minded and open for new theorys on Mankind's origin I recomend this book. It kicks booty and keeps your interest. I love it. :) ---- I'm off to use the phone or something. :( I dont feel very good. Probably going to call my cousin. Maybe. I may just go read. I finished the Tao Te Ching if I didnt tell you guys already. I'm on chapter four of the Chuang-Tzu. I discovered my favorite paragraph today. I know funny. :P It was around 3 this morning. It's a small part of something written in teh Chuang-Tzu. Here it is: Words are not just puffs of air; words carry something. But what they say is not definte, so is there actually something being said? Or has there never been anything said? If they are different from a chick's cheeping, does that mean sounds have any meaning, or are they meaningless? (1) Comments

Posted: 7/11/2006 7:12:42 PM

Comfort Eagle

I've been addicted to this song since I first heard it.... now it gets stuck in my head like something funny at church. You know the feeling? You know you shouldnt laugh durring a service but you cant stop thinking the thought? Anyways... We are building a religion We are building it bigger We are widening the corridors And adding more lanes We are building a religion A limited edition We are now accepting callers For these pendant key chains To resist it is useless It is useless to resist it His cigarette is burning But he never seems to ash He is grooming his poodle He is living comfort eagle You can meet at his location But you'd better come with cash Now his hat is on backwards He can show you his tatoos He is in the music business He is calling you "DUDE!" Now today is tomorrow And tomorrow today And yesterday is weaving in and out And the fluffy white lines That the airplane leaves behind Are drifting right in front Of the waning of the moon He is handling the money He's serving the food He knows about your party He is calling you "DUDE!" Now do you believe In the one big sign The doublewide shine On the bootheels of your prime Doesn't matter if you're skinny Doesn't matter if you're fat You can dress up like a sultan In your onion head hat We are building a religion We are making a brand We're the only ones to turn to When your castles turn to sand Take a bite of this apple Mr. corporate events Take a walk through the jungle Of cardboard shanties and tents Some people drink Pepsi Some people drink Coke The wacky morning DJ Says democracy's a joke He says now do you believe In the one big song He's now accepting callers Who would like to sing along He says, do you believe In the one true edge By fastening your safety belts And stepping towards the ledge He is handling the money He is serving the food He is now accepting callers He is calling me "DUDE!" Do you believe In the one big sign The doublewide shine On the bootheels of your prime There's no need to ask directions If you ever lose your mind We're behind you We're behind you And let us please remind you We can send a car to find you If you ever lose your way We are building a religion We are building it bigger We are building A religion A limited Edition We are now accepting callers... For these beautiful... Pendant keychains -Comfort Eagle;; Cake. I've been at my Uncles house for the past two days. Really not relaxing. We all rounded up and went to Wal-Mart last night, around like, 1am. :) We got back and my Grandma(Who is totally wicked.) said," I dont like going to Wal-Mart with you... you have to turn on all the things that make noise and play soccer down the aisles." I think she was just poking at me though. MY computer quit. It did the same thing that our last one did. :( Which is awful. I dont even wanna talk about it. I'm off to go sit outside, and find something to whine about, or someone to bug. :) Kidding. Hope everyone has a good day. (2) Comments

Posted: 7/9/2006 11:56:59 AM

Ekk

I'm off to the doctors this morning. :( I have an ear infection. Ekk... that seems to happen a lot. I'm going to provide you with a list of books I have/am going/or currently reading since I've met Xander. They are much different from the books I normally read. I like fiction books. :) *Mein Kampf -Adolf Hitler (Read.) *Inferno (The Divine Comedy) -Dante Alighieri (Looking for it...) *Tao Te Ching -Chuang Tzu (Almost Finished) *The 12th Planet -Zecharia Sitchin(Reading...) There are like, 3 more, but they arent American and I cant remember the titles. Lmao. Im out for now. :) P.S. Later on...I have another section from the Tao Te Ching to post. :):):):) (0) Comments

Posted: 7/6/2006 1:58:06 PM

Package,Tao and Todayyy

Wow. I slept for a little bit earlier, and now it deff. feels later that 1:30am. Anways! I got my package techincally yesterday morning. *big grin* I was so friggin excited. Aalsdkjfasdofi;; <---that's how excited I was. The list of things inside: *SLC PUNK (Movie) *All of the TKK Songs On One C.D. *The Essential Tao ---(The Tao Te Ching && Chuang-Tzu,,In One) *Zecharia Sitchin's The 12th Planet ---A non-fictional book. ((Great so far.)) *His Hoodie && A Letter I started reading the Tao Te Ching first and let me say. IT IS AMAZING. A-FUCKING-MAZING. I cant get over how much sense it all makes. Here is one little section: What Is At Rest Is Easy To Hold. What is at rest is easy to hold. What has not shown up is easy to take into account. What is frial is easy to break. What is vague is easy to dipel. Do it before it exists; govern it before there's disorder. The most massive tree grows from a sprout; the highest buildings rise from a pile of earth; a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. Those who contrive spoil it; those who cling lose it. Thus sages contrive nothing, and so spoil nothing. They cling to nothing, and so lose nothing. Therefore peoples works are always spoiled on the verge of completion. Be as careful of the end as of the beginning, and nothing will be spoiled. Thus sages want to have no wants; they do not value goods hard to get. They learn from not learning to recover from peoples excesses, thereby to assist the naturalness of all beings, without daring to contrive. Now, you tell me that wasnt amazing and eye opening? I think it all makes perfect sense! *melts* So amazing. Hehe, moving onward... All I have under my belt on The 12th Planet is basically like an introduction. I know just about every little advancment that the Sumerians made, lol. From speaking to Xander, what I gather this book is about is basically explaining possible origins of Earth and Man's celestial ancestors. But I'm only on page 52 of 422. Not including the pages and pages of sources. iiM STiiLL SO EXCiiTED! Today has been nice. NOBODY DRANK ANY ALCOHOL. I am so friggin proud. *huge smile* We all got together at the lake today. We swam, grilled out and then all played a game of Volleyball. I'd like to clearly state that my family kicks ass. I love them all so much. :) Urm, on a more negative note. My internet and phone will be shut off the 6th and wont be turned back on for a week and three days. Insanity. I'm off to maybe read some more, or find something on the boob tube. I dont know yet... it's only 1:47. Blah. (2) Comments

Posted: 7/5/2006 12:48:07 AM

Ah, summer time. :)

I think this is a beautiful picture, it's how I feel today, only... better: -------- I finished cleaning my room yesterday. It feels great to sit in there. All I really do is draw or write, or read, usually talk on the phone to my love. :P My cousin came down from Ohio today. We all went to the lake to hang out for a little while, the boat quit and we had to swim it half way back to shore--someone gave us a tow the rest of the way. Swimming gives me a massive headache so I almost died on the way home, lol. We stopped Uncles house... he gave me soemthing to fix the pain.I suppose Im off to enjoy the comfort of my clean room. Oh, hehe... my kitty has developed seperation anxiety. From me. It feels wonderful to be needed. :) (She's not really a kitty, a little older than that, she's a cat I suppose, but I call her kitty.) T.T.F.N. Ta-ta for now! (0) Comments

Posted: 7/2/2006 9:13:33 PM

*deep breath* Darn.

I'm dreading the forth of July. :( There is always so much alcohol and drugs. It kills me inside. I dont even need to think about it. Too much stress involved. Anways... My love is sending me a book in the mail. (Along with one of his hoodies, SLC Punk, All of the Thrill Kill Kult songs on one C.D. and a letter... oh... and somehting else Im sure, I just forgot) I'VE BEEN CRAVING THIS BOOK. I forget the name, it's actually two books in one. He is a Taoist and well, it sounds like the most fit religion for me, but I'm not sure yet. I'm still very unsure about it all. ------ I dont feel right about choosing a religion, because I dont know enough about all the other religions. I dont think that I'll ever be a Christian. There is so much I dont agree with and feel wrongly about. I'll try and list a few. Like, I dont like that the Bible cost money. I dont like that most Christians tell me I cant believe in the Big Bang and Christ at the same time. That's just bullshit. If I want to I'll believe that God made the Big Bang happen. I dont like that there are so many branches of Christianity (Penacostal, Baptist... ect.). Wow, I thought this would be easy, but my brain kinda goes empty when I try to recall information on comand. I'll have to start making short little posts evertime I remember something. I believe that if you believe in something, it's real. I dont think that there is just one religion and that is THE religion. But.. it's more of a spiritual thing to me, and it shouldnt involve a list of rules set by someone else to live your life by. You should be able to choose what you think is right for you. If swearing and cursing and listening to music that screams so loudly that it blows your hair back, then you should be okay with that, and not have some looming thought in the back of your mind, oh yeah, God frowns upon this. Also, I dont like that The Christians Childrens Fund has the word Christians in it, it seems like they're... like, trying to rack up brownie points. You know what I mean? My friend said he went to this one church one time and they walked out into the woods and sat on benches and talked about God. That's how it should be. I think. No money needed, just truthful people who are egar to learn about thier faith. Honestly, I'm not ready to talk about where I stand on religion just yet. I dont think I have enough information. And really... it kind of isnt anyone elses business. But I chose to share what is on my mind at the moment, thats my choice. Blah. Blah. Damnit. And deep down... I dont like the idea of having to complicate my life with God and what I need to be doing.I think I get along fine with MY set of guidelines and MY ideals. I'm a good person. To you I'm just an ignorant teenager who doesnt know shit though. (0) Comments

Posted: 6/30/2006 11:06:47 PM

Me+Time=Interesting

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Posted: 6/29/2006 9:09:34 PM

[Currently Have An Empty Head;;Lyrics Fill The Void]

PEOPLE SAY I'M NO GOOD BUT THEY NEVER NEVER DO THEY SAY WHY THEIR WORLD IS SO MIXED UP OR HOW IT GOT THAT WAY THEY ALL LOOK AT ME AND THEY FROWN DO I REALLY LOOK SO STRANGE IF THEY REALLY DUG THEMSELVES I KNOW THEY'D WANT TO CHANGE EVERYBODY SAYS YOU'RE NO GOOD 'CAUSE YOU DON'T DO LIKE THEY THINK YOU SHOULD DO YOU EXPECT THEM AN' DO YOU EXPECT YOU TO ACT LIKE THEM LOOK AT THEM MAN LOOK AT THE FIX THEY'RE IN I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY JUST LET 'EM SIT THERE AND BURN THE YOUNG MIGHT NOT BE SO DUMB AFTER ALL AN' FROM THE YOUNG YOU MIGHT EVEN LEARN EVERYBODY SAYS YOU'RE NO GOOD 'CAUSE CHARLES YOU DON'T DO YOU DON'T DO LIKE THEY THINK YOU SHOULD DO YOU EXPECT THEM TO ACT LIKE YOU DO YOU EXPECT THEM TO EXPECT YOU TO ACT LIKE THEM DO YOU EXPECT TO SEE DO YOU EXPECT THE FOOL TO SEE WHAT A FIX HE'S IN DO YOU EXPECT THE FOOL TO SEE WHAT A FIX HE'S IN IN YOUR CARDBOARD HOUSES AN' YOUR TIN-CAN CARS YOU SIT THERE AND YOU WONDER YOU WONDER WHERE YOU ARE THOSE DIAMOND RINGS THEY'RE OBSCENE YOU SIT THERE AND YOU WONDER AND YOU SAY WHO'S TO BLAME TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF TAKE YOURSELF OFF THE SHELF YOU CAN'T BELONG TO NOBODY WITH YOUR CAN'T-COUGH MEDICINE AND YOUR WONDER DRUG YOU GOT, MORE SICKNESS THAN YOU GOT CURES OF CANCER O' THE MIND -Charles Manson (2) Comments

Posted: 6/29/2006 5:32:30 PM

Close! But No Cigar.

Our power was out when I woke up today. *cough cough... 1:32pm* My mom woke me up to ask if she could use my cell phone... Anywho, Since there was nothing to do, I almost got my room completly clean. (It desperatly needs it.) Whilst wadding through all the clutter, the power came back and I glued my face to the computer screen. :) No surprise there. :P Then mom, my sister and I ran away to my Uncles for dinner. My mother has got to be the best cook around, I wish other people knew it, but instead, it's just us. :/ She grilled out. And in the dark too! That takes talent right there. I dont think she really knows how much I appreciate her. :( I'm no good at speaking my feelings. I tried to let her know tonight that I think she's beautiful and the best ever, but my words got mixed and I just sat down. It's late, and I'm sleepy. More tomorrow. NO COMMENT, JUST FUNNY: (0) Comments

Posted: 6/29/2006 2:00:19 AM

[[THRUST!]]

Yup. Entirely too bored. It just finished raining. :( It wasnt one of those good rains either.. it was a, "I'm gonna make you feel awful today" -rain. Humph.. I kinda just wanna sleep. Currently suffering from a migrane. Arg! I was supposed to stay the night with my Grandmother last night, but came home instead... Oh gosh, I have to go lay down or something. (0) Comments

Posted: 6/27/2006 4:28:34 PM