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Sephra Lost Path |
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![]() Age: 35 Gender: F Location: Lost in the Wood
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Twisted Vision: Change in the wind
Posted 1/23/2008 9:04:42 PM A stability hound of a witch is knot' one to be a huge advocate of change. But a lesson well learned, after many stubborn years, is that change is what happens nonetheless. What we can't see, on the Other Side, of a life upturned, stopped, gone, is where the path will take us, just beyond the corner, how quickly things can change, things you can not imagine. Trust the path. You'll get where you need to be. I see it.
Reality frame of mind.: Loss of Ledger
Posted 1/23/2008 7:58:18 AM So, another one is gone. Funny how we can feel we have come to know people who are in the public eye. How we can feel the loss when they slip away. Heath Ledger dead, such a young age. And now, on the news, all that seems to be played is clips of Brokeback Mountain, and a few of The Patriot , thrown in, seemingly for good measure. Monster's Ball - now THAT was a movie... Or how about a lessor known film. If you havent seen it, you should check it out... "Candy" Its an incredible movie, regarding drug addiction. That film, will always be closest to my heart and always what I think of when I think of the Late Heath Ledger, well that and those golden curls and that grin. RIP, a true loss.
Twisted Vision: the wall of selfprotection
Posted 1/16/2008 7:29:48 AM We are both drowning, under the stress of this called life. My mind wont let go of the worry, and seeking reassurance I ask the same question, again. His voice, though volume modulated, the harshness of tone screams to my soul. Never have I heard that harshness from him. and before the sentence is even finished, like a switch, the wall has come up. Never when beckoned can I so easily shut off. But in that instant of need, I am surrounded by grey. My hands gripping the steering wheel, are not my own. I have taken a step back, deeper inside. My body is still the same, or is it? For in the instant that I have stepped outside my self, he is aware of the change. Can he see a physical manifestation? What does the body look like when it shuts off and the mind leaves? He knows the mistake, though I am not able to voice it, will deny it, another form of self protection, someone inside me screams the old mantra "You cant hurt me" He works hard to rectify the transgression. I work hard to chip the wall away. Though I may let in the sunshine, the screen is always there, waiting, to drop, To protect, to shield. Unbidden, powerful. ________________________________________ Janis Joplin once sang " I'm gonna take good care of Janis... I know this god damn life too well.
Twisted Vision: Too Fast
Posted 1/15/2008 1:47:51 PM Life is twisting too too fast. Out of control, Changing, turning the time crashes through. I struggle, to maintain, To Adapt, to survive unscathed as my mind races to catch up. I live a thousand lives, in my dreams, emerging exhausted, to face a thousand more, during wakeful hours. The core remains, seasoned, to be sure, older, roughened, yet still, the same. I know, this too, shall pass.
Reality frame of mind.: more daily news that makes you say huh????
Posted 1/10/2008 8:11:55 AM Kansas town fires police chief who was convicted of stealing beer from firefighters' fridge Article Date: Thursday, January 10, 2008 WILSON, Kan. (AP) — A small-town police chief has been fired after he was convicted of stealing beer from the fire department's refrigerator. The city council in Wilson on Monday fired chief Brian Hill, effective Jan. 25. He has the option of a hearing within the next two weeks. Hill was arrested Aug. 1 after a surveillance tape showed him taking the beer. He was convicted of misdemeanor theft on Dec. 26 and given probation. He had been suspended without pay pending an appeal of the conviction. Authorities did not disclose how much beer was stolen, or why it was in the fire department. A warrant put the value of the beer at less than $1,000. The two departments share a building, and the door separating the offices usually was unlocked, officials said. The only person by the name of Brian Hill in the Wilson area has an unlisted phone number, so he could not be reached for comment.
Reality frame of mind.: Today's news....
Posted 1/10/2008 8:02:34 AM 2 Accused Of Taking Dead Man To Cash Check Police Say Dead Man's Body Wheeled To Store In Office Chair POSTED: 9:04 am EST January 9, 2008 NEW YORK -- Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store and tried to cash his Social Security check before being arrested on fraud charges, police said. 2 Arrested In Check Scam David J. Dalaia and James O'Hare pushed Virgilio Cintron's body from the Manhattan apartment that O'Hare and Cintron shared to Pay-O-Matic, about a block away, spokesman Paul Browne said witnesses told police. "The witnesses saw the two pushing the chair with Cintron flopping from side to side and the two individuals propping him up and keeping him from flopping from side to side," Browne said. The men left Cintron's body outside the store, went inside and tried to cash his $355 check, Browne said. The store's clerk, who knew Cintron, asked the men where he was, and O'Hare told the clerk they would go and get him, Browne said. A police detective who was having lunch at a restaurant next to the check-cashing store noticed a crowd forming around Cintron's body, and "it's immediately apparent to him that Cintron is dead," Browne said. The detective called uniformed New York Police Department officers at a nearby precinct. Emergency medical technicians arrived as O'Hare and Dalaia were preparing to wheel Cintron's body into the check-cashing store, Browne said. Police arrested Dalaia and O'Hare there, he said. Cintron's body was taken to a hospital morgue. The medical examiner's office told police it appeared Cintron, 66, had died of natural causes within the previous 24 hours, Browne said. "He was deceased in the apartment when he was removed by these two," Browne said. Dalaia and O'Hare, both 65, were being held by police and faced check fraud charges, Browne said. A call to a telephone number listed for Cintron at the apartment he shared with O'Hare went unanswered Tuesday evening. Police said they didn't have an address for Dalaia or attorney information for him or O'Hare.
Reality frame of mind.: In the news....
Posted 1/8/2008 8:36:38 AM Article Date: Tuesday, January 8, 2008 MEXICO CITY (AP) — A 10-year-old Mexican boy dreaded returning to school after Christmas break so much that he glued his hand to his bed. Sandra Palacios spent nearly two hours Monday morning trying to free her son Diego's hand with water, oil and nail polish remover before calling authorities, police chief Jorge Camacho told The Associated Press from outside the northern city of Monterrey. "I didn't want to go to school because vacation was so much fun," Reforma newspaper quoted the boy as saying. Palacios said Diego sneaked into the kitchen in the early morning to get the industrial glue, which he then slathered on his right hand. She didn't hear him get up, but later awoke and found him watching TV with his hand stuck to the bed, she told Mexican newspaper El Universal. "I don't know why he did it," she told Reforma. "He's a good boy, but mischievous like all kids." Diego's hand was fine, and paramedics managed to unstick him in time for class.
Reality frame of mind.: HavaHartHotel
Posted 1/4/2008 8:46:40 AM Background. Living in the woods, when winters icy grip decends, its not uncommon for critters to try to make their way inside and find some warmth. Last year, when the cats became beside themselves with madness, peering under the stove, I knew we had a problem. A small grey mouse had moved into our territory. I promptly set out and bought a trap. Being the nonviolent, not want to deal with mutilated mousey kind I am, I bought one of those jobbies that catches the mouse and then you set it free. The trap by the way, is see through. Well, we caught it, my love thought it would be a treat to give it to the cats, who promptly lost it. I think they were having flashbacks of their ferret friends of years past and didnt quite view it as food. So again it was running free, until a certain witch put her little foot down and captured it by hand, and returned it to the freedom it had earned. Present. Yesterday the madness started again. Both cats peering relentlessly under the stove. I know its a probelm that will need to be dealt with. This morning I go to work. my phone... my love. He had pulled the stove out to investigate. Lo and Behold, the trap has become a den, no mousey in site, however the trap is lined with wood shavings and holds tasty morsels of acorn remenants, the clean little mousey has even designated a specific corner of said trap as a bathroom. Safe from prying paws, deep under the stove, in a plastic trap this mousey has made a home. Damn trap. whats even funnier is that my love, reset the thing. Poor mousey. Have to say for a small mouse, its got balls the size of ... ugh... nevermind.
Twisted Vision: gratitude
Posted 1/2/2008 8:36:24 PM The best thing in the world, is warm dry socks. Living in this place, in the midst of real winter. Tiny feet wet and frozen an easy reality. thank god for warm dry socks.
Twisted Vision: heh
Posted 12/23/2007 9:32:58 PM fell back into the bottle. Just me. quiet house too quiet. too fragile to be alone to self destructive. shouldnt be here, alone. alone? whos alone? theres a bottle here. whiskey my old friend. searching, reaching out. my friends in low places gone since I turned straight. My eyes are open, I know my problem, unable to ask for help even when I know I need it. I'm ok. I'm ALWAYS ok. pretend pretend. I curse the one that I show a little to expecting him to read my mind to KNOW I am to much a mess to leave me alone where are the blades? where are the blades? I pretend to be sane. fake it gurl, fake it. My mind turns to that which it shouldnt. and I release the thoughts and go for the least of the demons. distraction for a small bit. and here the rain falls. at least the tears have stopped. its been to long since I've had to stifle the feelings. to turn dead. surprising how fast it is. to fall back to that which one used to be
Reality frame of mind.: sweetness
Posted 12/19/2007 11:47:10 AM Electrician: Hows your dad? Me: not good, still in ICU... Electrician: He's got a bad ticker right? Me: yah, its not good... Electrician: must be cause its too big.
Reality frame of mind.: wasted days
Posted 12/1/2007 8:25:12 PM Its one of those nites. where all I want to do is drink and drink and drink and drink. Day 7 off the bottle. another day 7. a few more days strung precariously together. why do I torture myself. no one to condemn me but myself. I sit alone. wishing the addict in me would shush for once feeling denied wondering why I struggle when to give in would be so easy. will I ever get there. what if its all for naught. wasted days, I could be drinking. wasted days - I could be straight.
Reality frame of mind.: The old man and the baptism
Posted 11/26/2007 10:20:10 AM Walking into the church, feeling out of place. This is not my place, my family, my church. I am a somewhat stranger here though the familiar faces that I have begun to equate with are a welcome respite. As too are the antics of children who are not used to being in a holy setting. My love carries tootsie rolls in his pockets and I watch the young ones faces light up at the small treat. I try to push the uneasiness to the back of my mind. I am here for several specific people. It will be over soon enough. My heart sinks as I follow my love to the very first pew. No blending into the back eh? I can feel hot eyes upon my back. I lift my gaze to the alter. The church is buzzing with voices, I feel no particular holiness here. The visage of a wasted body on a cross. A baptism done out of tradition rather than belief. A family thing, rather than a religious rite, branding an innocent tainted by original sin brought on by forefathers. A witch cringes. Just after the service begins. I turn to see, the old man in the wheelchair, being pushed to sit beside me. He is so happy to see me, when else is there such joy when eyes fall upon me. I reach over and hug him close. His hands are like ice. His mind is not what it once was, and he gets a stern admonishiment for lavishing praise on me in a too loud voice, and a reminder, from the son who brought him, and left him beside me, "behave, Your in CHURCH". And I wonder, how it is, with a church full of his family, that he has ended up here, beside me. In the background, around the priests drone, I can here the autistic child, singing in his toned out, nonword way. And it turns my mind, this family I have fallen next to. The old man tells me it has been a very long time since he has been in a church. I know his words carry more than they say. I tell him it has been a very long time for me also. And it makes me think back, how long has it been, a wedding 8 or 9 years before I believe. I think back to a girl raised a strict catholic and wonder at the path I have wandered. The old man, can not hold his emotions. I try to keep my eyes from him. Not knowing how to deal with the tears that so quickly come to him. I settle for holding and patting his hand. Hoping that he can know with out words that which I would get across to him. He has so much to say to me, I lean closer to hear the whispers. His breath acrid, I fight the urge to vomit. Not his fault. And I beg my body not to betray me. His nails dig deeply into my hands as his fingers flex and unflex unbidden to him. When the biting of those nails gets to much to bear I gently reposition my own fingers rather than let go of his grasp. Soon enough he is making me laugh beneath my breath. Too easy it would be, to look at the brain damage. The broken body, the mind no longer grasped firmly in hand. And to not see, the humor he holds. I am greatful he is beside me. During the rite the family is welcomed to the baptism font. I watch as they gather. I stay where I am. In the front pew, holding the old mans hand in mine. Its unspoken. But it is right. |
FeedBack
magicalmysterytour 4/23/2008 9:47:30 AM happy birthday LLCOOLWSR 1/24/2008 11:18:46 PM finally High Art ( the kind of breathtaking masterpieces all fine artists dream of creating.Caravaggio is a unique High Artist with nearly all his works being masterpieces. But thanks for the nice thought! LLCOOLWSR 1/24/2008 11:17:44 PM There's 4 levels of art:primitive(untrained art), general art (could be considered anything - including computers, ilustration etc.) fine art (classically trained artists that try their best on various skill levels (me ), whoreofbabylon 1/19/2008 8:04:20 AM Thanks so much for reading my stuff! I read yours too, I'm just not a huge commenter! moonstruck 1/17/2008 8:09:25 AM Hello ,I am new here and was readings some of your posts .I enjoyed my time here.I am sending you a fr and do hope that you will accept. Wishing good things to come your way. LLCOOLWSR 12/13/2007 6:17:22 PM Holidays got you up or down? I personally hate the holidays. Too many years working in hotels making ingrates holidays perfect. LLCOOLWSR 12/13/2007 6:15:57 PM I recently saw "Factotum". Matt Dillon was a bad choice to play Bukowski. Dillon can't play an ugly, degenerate ,drunk writer. Mickey Rourke did it better in "Barfly." LLCOOLWSR 12/6/2007 7:26:17 PM Ho. I keep putting up a comment, but I never see them! LLCOOLWSR 12/4/2007 8:19:26 PM Hi. got the invite. I'm happy to be your friend. This is a great site with great many good-hearted people. You are a good writer. LLCOOLWSR 12/4/2007 8:15:27 PM How ya doin? Got the invite.Thanks! LLCOOLWSR 12/4/2007 8:13:37 PM How ya doin? Got the invite.Thanks! Please login to post a comment. |
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