Venting: All relationships, on the rocks

I guess maybe the title is a bit of a misnomer. There's actually still a couple of people who I trust. But that number has been declining ever steadily over the past couple of weeks. Except for the two friends I haven't told, none of them have been wanting to help me with this latest problem. (I haven't told you partially for this reason. If you don't want to help, at least do me a favor and don't let me know you've read this. I've grown tired of helping people through their most serious problems when they won't help me at all in return.) I found out earlier this week that my parents want to divorce. I'm ready to disown them over it and cut off ties with most of my friends who all of a sudden treat me like the plague. I guess I must have missed the memo that was issued sometime since 2005 where you try to help friends going through a family break up... If they do end up getting a divorce, I'm disowning the both of them and never looking back. The bible says to honour thy parents or something like that, but at the same time they made vows to each other 27 years ago that they now want to break. How can anybody honour parents like that? Well, that's fine. If they don't want to hear from me, they don't have to... (2) Comments

Posted: 5/17/2008 1:09:09 AM

Something interesting...: Old photographs

I was looking through boxes of things in my house today and I came across a bunch of old photos of Sussex taken in 1886. I've decided to scan them and share them with you. Descriptions are included. Please enjoy. All images are links that open in a new window. That is a mural that was painted on the side of the bank just after it's construction. The bank is there to this day. The mural looks almost as grand now as it did when the photo was taken. This is the bank that the mural is painted on. As I said up above, the bank stands to this day. This is the Tim Horton's across the street from the Bank of Nova Scotia. As you can tell, it's format has remained virtually unchanged for the past 122 years. Many of the foods served there at the time the photo was taken are still served there today. This is the Irving station, also across the street from the Bank (the other street). It too stands to this day and still sells gasoline at rates well above a dollar a liter. This is the building the Kings County record was in. The building actually burned down in 1886, which is why the sign reads 1887 in the photo... This is a plastic bag that was seen blowing away. It's one of the first pieces of plastic pollution in the world and the first documented evidence of plastic having been used in shopping centers to carry groceries. A sign on the baptist church on Church avenue in Sussex. Despite how early the photo was taken, they were well ahead of the times... This is the legion while it was under construction. The construction was the result of a propane tank explosion which severely damaged part of the building. The cannon seen on the right was later used in World War I. This is a home hardware store, one of the first of it's kind in Canada. The idea was originally taken from "American Tire" in the United States, and "Russian Tire" in Russia, neither of which was particularly profitable or successful. (5) Comments

Posted: 5/14/2008 12:37:35 AM

Ponderings: "Emoness"

What does it mean really? It depends who you ask. And for many, it's a controversial and almost taboo subject. I've heard an array of colourful descriptions for what “emoness” really is. I've heard a lot of adults (particularly those 30+) ask “What is emo, anyway?” and then people in their teens or early twenties attempting to explain it. One person I overheard said “it's like when you slash your wrists.” Another person I spoke with said “it's a life style.” Is it really either of those? Or both for that matter? Emo comes from emotional, or at least, that's what I was told. In that case, it could be anyone who is depressed, constantly upset, or maybe even someone that experiences frequent mood swings. A lot of people confuse it with “gothic.” Another term that isn't easily defined... Isn't that where people constantly dress in black or something? Anyhow, that's not why this is being written... A lot of people accuse “emos” of being self centered attention seekers. (Off topic, emos sounds and looks a lot like a misspelling/mispronunciation of the word emus. No offense to anyone out there who considers themselves to be emo.) How much of that is true? Eh, I guess I'm wondering because I see myself sharing a few (not all) of the characteristics of being “emo” as I know them. Normally I try to see the positive in life, but the blog entries here sure have contradicted that. (I think I labeled more of them as “venting” then everything else combined thus far.) I'm constantly upset about things. (Emotional perhaps?) And does that make me a self centered attention seeker for posting here? Well of course. But at the same time it has me looking for answers to the questions I've got about “emoness.” A friend of mine considers herself to be “emo” and I think my attitudes about “emoness” are straining the friendship. (If you're really bored, you can read about some of the strain below. Just look for a blog entry about an earthquake in Illinois...) It seems like she's constantly seeking attention. Maybe she needs it. Maybe she needs her friends now more than ever. But I don't. One size doesn't fit every mental condition in this case. (I'm not implying that her or me has a medical condition that is best dealt with by a professional. In the most basic sense of the term, mental condition can refer to any mental state of being.) I need them, but not more than I have in the past. I'm not self destructive. I don't deliberately harm myself or slash my wrists, as the person in the first paragraph suggested about “emos.” (I have to stop pluralizing that word.) And I definitely don't want to live any “lifestyle” that requires me to be in constant misery. I guess what I want is answers to the questions, the questions I haven't asked yet. Because I don't know how to ask them. Only present the information that lead me to ask them to begin with. That and that one nagging question I do know how to ask. Why do these changes in my friend bother me? It's her life, her choice and all. But at the same time that whole “self centered” stereotype creeps it's way in there. And rather than be there I'm often distant. Well that's all I guess. I'm off to smoke a cigarette... (3) Comments

Posted: 5/13/2008 12:53:14 AM

Ponderings: What is up with these bizarre dreams?

First flying to Indiana, now walking to Maine... I had this bizarre dream that I was on the banks of the St. Croix river, walking up, on the Canadian side. But the river seemed to recede suddenly, as if shrinking, because of a drought or something maybe. (Why this would happen as I go upstream is a bit beyond me). Well, just as I get out of sight of the Milltown bridge, the river is quite far away from the bank, so I run out to see what's going on and the St. Croix is only a tiny little brook no wider than a person's arm. In disbelief of how narrow this "natural border" has become, I step across just to see if it really is that narrow. Well, just after I step across, I see one of those sensors that I triggered by going over. Then this American customs agent walks over to start asking me some questions. So I turn around and start running back to Canada. Well, I make it back before that customs agent could catch me. What a bizarre dream though... Edit: In my profile picture (as of May 12, 2008, 2:55AM AST) the river behind me is the St. Croix river. Somehow, that seems a bit wider than a persons arm, and a bit far to be stepping or even jumping over... Unlike in the dream, I was in Maine legally when that photo was taken :-P (2) Comments

Posted: 5/11/2008 11:02:21 AM

Personal life: First day back at work

Well, I went back to work for the first time yesterday which was interesting. Rather than work in Saint Andrews, I've decided to work at a call center in Sussex... There's no way I'm driving back and forth between my parents place and Saint Andrews over the summer, lol. Work actually wasn't bad. I definitely used those two weeks off to their full potential. Now if only I could eliminate the idiots from my job... I'm not talking about my coworkers. I've got awesome coworkers, both in Sussex and Saint Andrews. It's the idiot callers that expect the world handed to them on a silver platter. Yes, I book 4 or 5 star hotels, but if you disagree with a policy so much, book somewhere else. Case and point. I got a lady last night who wanted to book a room. We go through the reservation and I confirm the room and then afterwards she decides she wants to have an email sent to her. I let her know that it's up to the hotel itself to send the email, so it's at request only. She went off on a rant and rave saying things like "I've stayed at hotels of lower caliber and they've always been able to send a confirmation email." That's nice lady. If you hate the fact that I can't guarantee that then book with somebody else and leave me alone so I can book the next caller who will be happy to have a place to sleep for the night... It's like I always say, you can usually pick up on a few clues as to whether or not the caller has worked in customer service before. The ones that have are usually more relaxed, more polite, more knowledgeable too for that matter. And a lot of them will wait to ask if there's anything else you can help them with before hanging up on you. This isn't to slam the people that don't work in customer service or anything, but those of you who do or have before I think know what I'm getting at here. When I'm at a restaurant, I always try to be as polite and respectful to the people helping me as I can. And that's usually the case with any other customer service people I talk to, unless something has totally sent me off the deep end. At that point though, I just ask for a manager and try to get the issue resolved that way... Ha, why couldn't she have asked for a manager? There weren't any at that hour, lol. Sianara folks. (2) Comments

Posted: 5/9/2008 12:07:45 PM

Venting: No more facebook

Yup. I was on CBC's website today, reading news articles, and I get greeted with a little side banner telling me what my friends are reading. Quite frankly, it's none of my business what my friends are reading unless they share it with me, and it's none of their business what I read. So I've made the decision to close my facebook account for good today. Normally I'm a fairly open person, but by the same token, I want a choice in which information I want to share and what I don't want shared. (To put in perspective of how open I am, i remember my privacy settings on facebook based on what i don't want shared, rather than what i want to share). Earlier my biggest problem was figuring out who to delete from facebook today. Well, that problem did a great job solving itself. Newblog is my new home on the internet. Better yet, unlike with facebook, I don't advance much closer to old age when I use it (ten minutes to log in is way too long). (0) Comments

Posted: 5/7/2008 4:30:37 PM

Ponderings: An unusual twist to the afternoon

So there I was on the couch, passed out from staying up till dawn, dreaming the afternoon away... And what an unusual dream it was, lol. For whatever reason, my father and I bought plane tickets and boarded a flight to Indiana. We landed in a suburb of Chicago. We went through customs and afterwards rented a car and started driving around. Great, the only two places I'd ever been outside of Canada are Calais, Maine and now this random place in Indiana that we flew to. Well, two states down, only 48 to go now I guess. We drove around and found a hotel and rented a room. We were quite happy to discover a cigarette vending machine next to our room, lol. We spent the night, then got up the next day and drove over to Chicago. I started texting some people, and one of them texted back, surprised that I flew out to Indiana (I wonder why that would be such a shock). After we got done talking about the flight, she asked "guess what I did." I asked her what, but before I got a reply the dream ended. What could this all mean??? (0) Comments

Posted: 5/7/2008 1:25:42 PM

Venting: Who are they?

Well, there's some good news. One of the kittens opened it's eyes for the first time yesterday. They're a weird colour, a very dark greenish blue. It was interesting to see it open it's eyes at such a young age. But now the venting... Why am I so often questioning who my friends are? I question all the time, and almost everyone. Except for Misty and a few others, I'm always debating whether or not they're really friends. It sucks... But what can you do? (0) Comments

Posted: 5/6/2008 10:45:10 PM

Venting: The Saint John river flood

Ha, I love CTV news for some of the comments that some of the people post on there... It's hard to believe they're Canadians when you think about it. They're whining that federal tax dollars are being diverted for relief aid from the Saint John river flood, complaining that these people built in a flood plain and that the flooding happens there every year or every other year... Yeah, that's why it's being called the worst flood in 35 years... Wake up Canada. When that big earthquake strikes BC, or if Alberta runs into another drought, or if Eastern Canada gets another ice storm like in 1998, are we gonna get pissed off at BCers for building in an earthquake zone, or Albertans for building in a semi-desert, or easterners for building where it's icy? Give me a break already. We all pay taxes for a reason after all... (0) Comments

Posted: 5/5/2008 3:09:51 PM

Personal life: The blog entry without a title

Well life has been interesting lately... One of the cats had five kittens the other night. And also, now that I'm living back with my parents over the summer, we're right next to the flooded Saint John River. We're not at risk for flood damage or anything though, but we do have some cool photos of the flood. If you want to see the only picture of the kitten or photos of the flood, you can check them out at my online photo album. I don't really feel like writing anymore, so I'll see you all later I guess. (0) Comments

Posted: 5/2/2008 9:56:57 AM

Personal life: It's all over

Classes got out for school at 11:30AM today. The year one class doesn't have to come back now until October... I guess that makes us the year two class :-D Today is also my last day of work in Saint Andrews. After tonight, I take a week of vacation and then I begin working way up in Sussex. I can't wait to make the move. I've slowly been going crazy here. Not long to go now... Also, I had to say goodbye today to a friend of mine. He's from Mexico and his flight back is today, so I paid my goodbyes. But at the same time, I got some great news about another friend today. My best friend is returning to Canada for the summer :-D Life has finally started to make the turn for the better... It's about time :-) (1) Comments

Posted: 4/25/2008 10:34:40 AM

Something interesting...: This week in Canadian news...

The bank of Canada says that we're headed for a recession... Since when? Our economy has been out performing the economy of our neighbours to the south now for several years, and while more people are predicting slower growth, they aren't predicting no growth, at least not in Canada. Negative growth is forecast in the United States I guess... Also, a device called the mosquito has been made accessible to Canadian businesses. The device is designed to repel people between the ages of 13 and 25 by emiting high pitched sound waves that are only audible to people in this age group. While I agree with what the goal behind this is (to prevent loitering and vandalism) I disagree with the method. What if some landlord puts it on an apartment building after all, one with teenagers and young adults living there? There's also the fact that animals can probably hear this noise (bats for instance). What effect does this noise pollution have? Also, what kind of hearing damage is done to the people who can hear it? Lastly, there's the case of Brenda Martin. She was convicted this week on Tuesday of being involved in some sort of scam in Mexico. The government is trying to expidite her transfer to a prison in Canada after spending two years behind bars in Mexico without a trial. It may be cruel, but truthfully, I'm not sure why we should repatriate a Canadian who lived illegally out of the country for more than ten years and had no desire to return before her legal problems. But that's my take on it... Edit: I just read an article that the use of drug sniffing dogs in the use of random searches has been considered unconstitutional in Canada. Congratulations to the courts for a great ruling. Many people try to justify these illegal searches by saying they were done on public property... I'd like to know when a person's back pack becomes public property too though, open for anyone to do a warrentless search... Normally I wouldn't blog about the news, but there's been a number of interesting articles this week, or at least interesting to me. (0) Comments

Posted: 4/25/2008 7:22:25 AM

Venting: Dust valley

Loneliness is the worst pain of all... It's close friends with anger and anguish. Son of the devil and depression A blight on our souls Turning our hopes to dust To be blown away by the winds of despair... Maybe the dust will find its way To other fields, where it won't blow away. Maybe there new crops will grow Dust seeds... They gro so slow But when they do, they bring the cure And maybe a true friend? I wasn't sure... Dust valley, what a place to call home. A place where the tears ooze rather than flow They ooze and yet they run They run into oblivion, just like the dust They scream just to hear the echo The loneliness, the emptiness, they're unique sounds... The scalding unforgiving wind is my soul other companion Choking me with my own crops Burying me in what was once hope. If ever there's a friend out there now would be a great time to find one... (1) Comments

Posted: 4/22/2008 10:27:33 AM

Something interesting...: Gasoline and food prices

So there's been a lot of chatter in the news lately about the rising cost of food and gasoline, particularly in the United States. It has me thinking, very critically at that. It just strikes me as weird how it's one of the cheapest developed countries to live in, and yet people are still suffering from the results of economic turmoil to the extent that they are in the news. Canada is also a relatively cheap country to live in when compared with the UK, many other European countries, and Japan. In spite of the surge in gasoline and food prices over there, Canadians here along the border still flock over with their IDs to get groceries and gasoline. While gasoline in the United States reached a record national average of $4.50 a gallon this week, it's been years since Canada has seen an equivalent average. This week here, gas prices in Saint Andrews are around $1.20 a liter, equal to approximately $4.80 a gallon. Food prices have also skyrocketed. Again, we flock to the United States for cheaper milk, bread, and other things. A pizza in the United States can be bought for as little as two dollars. I paid more than seven for one yesterday here on this side of the border. Milk can be as cheap there as $3.50 a gallon, cheaper than gasoline in many places. Here, I pay almost 7 for a gallon of milk, a lot more than the price for gasoline. So I guess I'm looking for answers. Although the United States is in a recession right now (there's not much sense in denying it), why are they being hit so hard with the skyrocketing prices, which other nations are experiencing? Why are they so badly hurt when prices have been that high or higher in other countries for years? If anyone has answers, I'd love to hear them... (1) Comments

Posted: 4/21/2008 2:46:18 PM

Something interesting...: The plastic trash vortex

Ok, so I'm kind of mashing names in the title here... What I'm referring to is something that, quite honestly, scares the hell out of me. It's known by several names, including the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, the Eastern Garbage Patch, the Pacific Trash Vortex, and the plastic soup. It's a collection of marine debris in the north Pacific gyre. It's in the middle of nowhere, in what some people call an "oceanic desert." There's no fish that fisherman are interested in catching here, and there's very little wind for sailors to get through here, so most people on the open seas avoid it. Debris has been accumulating here for centuries. Ocean currents here spin clockwise around the gyre, while the currents within the gyre itself are weak and there's no winds to help push debris out, so it accumulates here. Up until the 20th century, the debris here has all been biodegradable, and so it doesn't accumulate forever. But with the invention of plastic, debris has been accumulating here, and not biodegrading. It goes through a process known as photodegredation. Sunlight breaks the plastic down into smaller and smaller pieces, until finally individual polymer molecules are floating around in the water, but it's still plastic. A research study conducted there found over six pounds of plastic in the water for every pound of plankton. Aside from the plastic molecules, there's bigger objects in the vortex such as plastic bags which are mistaken by turtles for jellyfish, cigarette lighters mistaken by birds for squids, ghost nets from fishing operations which ensnare local wildlife, and every other piece of plastic refuse you can imagine. In addition, plastic is great at absorbing toxic chemicals, particularly DDT. Although banned in the United States in the 1970's, DDT is still in our worlds oceans. It's being absorbed by the plastic in this soup, to concentrations up to one million times higher than what is in the water. So what happens when some plankton eats this plastic, and then some jellyfish eats this plankton, and then some turtle eats that jellyfish, and then that turtle is caught and served up on someone's dinner plate as a delicacy? It looks like we're going to be dining on DDT someday... To make matters worse, some scientists say that it's impossible to clean up. And maybe they're right. How do you remove plastic molecules from the water like that over a moving area the size of Texas or bigger? They're saying that the most we can do now is stop contributing to it. "The ocean is downhill from everything." after all, as Charles Moore said. According to some estimates, around ten percent of all the plastic manufactured in any given year will ultimately end up in the plastic soup. When I went browsing through internet forums about the topic, everyone seemed quick to blame the United States. But it's not just them. It's every country that borders the Pacific ocean to some extent, and then some. This also includes Mexico, Canada, Russia, China, Japan, the list goes on. For a part of the world that nobody ever visits, lets alone live in, we've sure made our mark and managed to screw it up, possibly beyond all repair. (2) Comments

Posted: 4/20/2008 11:32:45 AM

Personal life: Goodbye letter

Goodbye winter. You won't be missed :-D Take your depression with you while you're at it. I'm sick of the loneliness, the anger, the frustration, the impatience. It's spring, and it's great :-D The weather is great. We're going to reach the high teens tomorrow. I've got all the friends that I want :-) Maybe not on my NB list, but in life, for sure. The sun is shining. The sadness and loneliness are draining out of me as the cold drains out of the air. And in just a couple of weeks I'll be living with my parents again. While that isn't necessarily an up side, I'll again be living with my pets again, including Elizabeth :-D So, yeah, I'm quite happy. I bought that car yesterday. Today I'm going to St. Stephen to transfer it over to my father's name, and then I'm going to Calais. Anyhow, I've got nothing else now. So i'll talk to you all later. (2) Comments

Posted: 4/16/2008 8:47:26 AM

Personal life: I'm back

Yeah, I guess I'm back. And hopefully with a good friend's help, I'm here to stay. So I'm really happy today. I bought a car :-D I'm going to St. Stephen tomorrow to transfer the car over to my father's name. I'm also going to Calais tomorrow rather unexpectedly. I can't wait. Anyhow, that's all I have time for. Talk to you all later. (1) Comments

Posted: 4/15/2008 6:55:06 PM