Lollipop

you know what I love?

posted on 2/16/2007 6:19:18 PM in (1) Comments

The new My Chemical Romance album. Its sooo good!


I have a 3 day weekend! We're going to Trap tonight and I'm gonna try not to drink. My black freind's gonna braid my hair again. And we'll do some random ass stuff that pops into our heads.

And quit sending me random messages containing what you'd "do to me" if we ever met. I'M 17 YEARS OLD!
besides, I've found the person I'm spending the rest of my life with.

So you know what just happened?

posted on 12/19/2006 8:07:00 PM in (3) Comments

Not JUST happened, but like a few days ago. Saturday morning, to be exact. w/e, on with the story.

There was a knock on the door of my apartment, and I got the door and guess who was there? My darling Derryck!! (My boyfriend, if you are not a frequent to my blogs.) I was screaming, quite literally, and loudly, and so was he. I jumped on him and we had a mushy little reuinion fest that you can imagine better than I can explain. Yeah, he flew all the way out to NY from Sac just to see me. We spent the next few days just soakin up eachothers hotness. It was way more luvey-duvey than that but I'd rather not go into the details. He left this morning and I'm like....I miss him.
I love that kid too much.

Bytheway. I'm out of school for winter break. no plans.

Yup, the rumors are true.

posted on 11/26/2006 12:42:18 AM in (3) Comments

I shave my back.

Six figures enter...

posted on 11/21/2006 9:29:20 PM in (0) Comments

...They've come to destroy the world.

Great lyric.

I'm so bored. It seems to me that my life is only interesting when my block is getting shot up or my cell phones getting stolen. I need that crap to keep me awake.

I'm so out of this town.

Pain and strangers and insanity, oh my.

posted on 11/17/2006 1:32:03 AM in (1) Comments

I just signed into MSN for like the first time in a million years, and I had no email, but 47 people that I don't know added me to their contact list. scary.

I am sitting here half dead from boredom. I'm kind of absentmindedly pressing a sewing needle to my nose, while simultaneously tpying with one hand. I've come so close to piercing it through my nose so many times tonight. I have this thing for pain. Thats why I always get shit pierced all the time. Its also the main reason I got a tattoo. My nose has a bunch of little red holes in it so I'm gonna try to keep the needle away from my nose for fear it may slip through and that wouldn't exactly be the desired effect of this temporary boredom fasct.

shit. now I'm doing it to my lip. How did it get down there?? good question, I may say Janie. Thank you Janie. Hows the weather?

I'm talking to myself. I was talking to my computer screen not so long ago, and now I'm saying all this as I type it.

I'm going crazy.

*GASP*

Have you ever forgotten to breathe before? I just did. I also just had Deja Vu and I also have the hiccups.

Weird.

blood, shortage of bandaids. Sexual harassment and the asian sensation.

posted on 11/15/2006 11:13:14 PM in (1) Comments

So I had this killer urge to bite my nails this morning, but I have no nails to bite. So I was chewing on my skin around my nails. then after that was gone, I started chewing on my cuticles. And so on and so on. I CANT FUCKING STOP! I'm just cracking up at the stupidity of the daily antics of Janie. I got a band aid but I only had one band aid left, so I have my hands wrapped in a shirt and there's just a little bit of blood coming out of it, but it hurts like hell.

Schools good. I have friends. Most of them ugly but I have learned to settle for less. I was used to the models I have for friends in Sac (literally, they're models. one of them has a dad that owns a modeling agency and we all somehow got jobs with him) and I was like, whoah everyones ugly here!! Theres a word for what I am, but I can't think of it. I'm on the honor roll, but just because I'm asian. I swear, they take all the asian kids at the beginning of the year and chuck them at the top of the honors list and thats that.

You gotta check out the Decemberists.I bought they're album the other day and their sick. I wanna see them when they come around the NY-ish area. AFI show was great. I met Hunter and Adam and they signed my hat and told me I was pretty. He was all over me, hitting on me and shit. Adam was much more of a gentleman. I gave them some vegan cookies and Adam said they were "yummy". Adam gave me a kiss on the ckeek and if I'm not mistaken, Hunter gave me a tap on the ass as I walked away. It might have been a lesbian, I'm not sure. I showed them my tattoo and they said they were flattered to have a permanant embodiment of their art so close to my "perfect ass"

The mall here sucks, and so does my apartment, but whatever. Hunter touched my ass! I'm good. how are you?

Of Greetings and Goodbyes,
JXJ

Yesterday

posted on 9/7/2006 6:00:59 PM in (0) Comments

Yesterday, when I was walking around, I found a shell on the sidewalk. It reminded me of home. back in cali. I miss it. I didnt live on the beach, but I used to live in Santa Cruz, before sacramento. If I could go back there, it would be so cool.

Either way, I'm definitely getting into the swing of things in New York. I've found that 1. everyone hates you if you dont walk fast enough. 2. If you do walk fast enough, you are a nobody that will never be a somebody. 3. Guys are not pigs in New York. In Sac, I couldn't cross the street without someone whistling or yelling at me. Now I get paid no attention. I love it. 4. Its just like Jr High. again. Every one of your friends tries to get you to sniff sharpies, cuz they cant afford crack. and 5. Keep your friends close, and you enemies closer.

Oh and I almost forgot, I got my tattoo finished up, and the shiny is gone. Its kinda an amazingly small mural of everything I'm about. Like dancing and music (headphones), AFI, (A ribbon that says "One Dark Flame" and the skull and crossbones) and across the bottom is a series of letters: TJ CL IH DB DM BB MJ and DV (All my friends and my boyfriend's initials) It looks really really really cool. And its on my back. I dont own a camera but later I'll post the original drawing of it. Its amazing.

Doing better

posted on 8/27/2006 2:10:18 PM in (1) Comments

Little miss sunshine is back. The last stage of everything is acceptance, right? I've accepted the changes in my life, and I'm excited to go to this new school. If its gonna better my dancing and modeling careers, I'm all for it. And I've made some really great friends here. I miss my friend like crazy though, but now that I have friends here, I'm doing better, and thats what matters

my tummy hurts

posted on 8/15/2006 1:49:30 AM in (1) Comments

yeah I'm sick beyond anyones wildest dreams. It's kind of the same as when I was in rehab and went through withdrawl. I was all shaky and couldn't stop throwin up. Has anyone ever seen Rent? you know the scene where Mimi quits doing crack and she goes through crack withdrawl? I'm doing that now. maybe its alchohol withdrawl. or maybe I'm just sick. Or maybe Its cuz I barely eat anymore? So any way I would never wish this demon satanic illness on any one. not even my worst enemy. ever. And in an unrelated story, I got a tattoo! I'll post a picture as soon as I get a picture of it. And I'll tell you what its a tattoo of as soon as the room stops spinning.

have you ever?

posted on 8/9/2006 3:23:18 AM in (0) Comments

Have you ever not really known whether you were sad or happy? have you ever felt safer sleepin on the floor than your bed? laid on your back and looked at broad daylite and saw nothing but utter darkness? missed someone who was there? have you ever feared that, for no reason, all your secrets would be exposed because everythings out to get you? wrapped a blanket around yourself, not because you were cold, but because it's comfort replaced what once was. ever Lost something and never found it? Ever found something and not known what it is, and not wanted it, but clung to it, because it was just something that gave a sense of security? I have.

Lesson Learned

posted on 7/27/2006 4:05:58 PM in (3) Comments

I go to the store down the street from my "house" to get energy drinks.

The store clerk's daughter is asking me if I want to have one of her balloon animals that she made all by herself.

I say, "I'll make YOU something!" The little girl gives me a yellow balloon and I make her a giraffe. The girl and her mom are SO happy. She gives me TWO little pink puppies in exchange for it. Her mom grabs a sharpie to draw a face on it.

As I walk out, I hear the balloon pop.

I keep walking.

I'm a bitch.

An old one I just found from 7th grade

posted on 7/24/2006 11:31:41 PM in (3) Comments

Into the dark is where you're draggin me
and into your dark is where I never want to
be. I know I'm not alone and I really want to leave.
Into the dark is where you want to watch me bleed.
I'm feeling kinda trapped, I gotta go.
I'm feelin' kinda trapped don't you know. I'm feelin
kinda trapped I gotta go.
I gotta go.
I'm being dragged down, for how long, I don't know.
I'm being dragged down and I rise up way
too slow. I know I don't belong here and I think I ought to go.
I hope that I can leave here, leave here with my soul.

Words that make sense to us

posted on 7/24/2006 11:02:59 PM in (0) Comments

Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything
Or were you sent to save me?
I've thought too much, you won't find anything...
Worthy of redeeming

Yo he estado aquí muchas veces antes y regreso

To... break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away

Imperfect cry, and scream in ecstasy
So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built (Please don't do this),
It shines so beautifully (Why won't you look at me?)
Now watch as it destroys me

Y regreso aquí otra vez y comienzo

To... break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away

Break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away

I left it all behind, and never said goodbye
I left it all behind, and never said goodbye
I left it all behind, and never said goodbye
I left it all to die

I saw its birth, I watched it grow
I felt it change me
I took the life, I ate it slow
Now it consumes me

I... break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away

Break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away
... Heart away

it burns

posted on 7/22/2006 5:49:48 PM in (0) Comments

it is like, 63 million degrees out today. IN NEW YORK. I've heard that 100% of the nation is hot to day. I will say this again. 100 - NOT 97%, not MOST of the country...ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of the country is scorchingly hot.

mmmmm
...
reminds me of home

TYler I love you

Money sucks

posted on 7/21/2006 1:46:16 AM in (2) Comments

By one slightly strange experience, I have learned that its better to be poor and humble than rich and fucked up.

Yesterday, I saw my best friend from Santa Cruz who I hadn't seen in 11 years, and she was like me when I knew her, dirt poor, but now her family is all rich and shit and shes so cocky. Like I saw her on the street, and I was like JENNY OH MY GOD and I hugged her,and she just pushed me off like she didnt know me. She looked over her Chanel glasses and switched her LV bag to the other arm, and just looked me up and down. She kinda half smiled and gave me a not so happy to see me hug. It was so weird. But then she took me to lunch with her at this uber fancy restaurant in NYC, and it was all awkward and shit, with her telling me about how much cooler her life is and all the celebrities she parties with blah blah blah. Then she's like so what have you been doing? I'm like...I dance still...thats why I'm here... Then shes like, pfft are you serious? I gave up on that years ago when I realized it would never make me much money. She was so concieted I wanted to cry.

She was the complete opposite of the way she used to be. I didnt know money could actually change people like that

I neve wanna be rich

Bye Bye Sacramento

posted on 7/13/2006 3:12:35 PM in (2) Comments

today, I was making this smoothie at work, and my mom called me and told me to quit my job. I had no idea what she was talking about so I was like what are you talking about? she was quit your job we're going to new york. and I was like shut up did I get accepted? she was like FUCK YEAH. I seriously screamed right in the middle of Jamba Juice. last month I applied for a scholarship to this prestigeous performing arts school in New York (the name of which escapes me) and I've just been like OH MY FUCKING GOD. I quit my job today andI've never been happier. and five minutes later, I burst out crying. thats right. I thought of Tyler. I'm gonna leave him. leave Mia, Cendra, IAn, Danu, Destiny,and Breezy and I've just been sitting on the floor crying for the last 2 hours. I'm leaving in one week and I have that long to get my ass out of the place I took most for granted. its like we're all splitting up. Ians going to Rhode Island. Tyler is going to LA to become a choreographer next year, which is what I'm doing all the way across the country, and Breezy is moving to San Diego. HOw did all this happen??? Its like one night everyone announced their departure from Sacramanto all at once. all my friends already know and have been hugging me crying with me for the last hour. I just dont know how to tell Lavessia, this girl I met on myspace.

I hate that bitch

posted on 7/9/2006 5:52:56 PM in (1) Comments

You know that ONE friend that everyone in your circle of friends hates? The one that just has to be a fuckin drama queen about everything? Mine is Janessa. She is the biggest bitch youve ever met. She thinks shes a hardcore emo chick. she always makes sure that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE knows shes emo, a cutter, suicidal, a druggie, an alchoholic, bi, and she speaks 4 languanges. She is NONE of those. have you ever heard that the people that choose their own labels are total posers? Like, saying that your emo. real emos tend to deny their emoness. even though they are emo. I know, shut up, Tyler's not a real emo, he just likes the clothes and music. Well, Janessa acts like shes so emo. a lot. evry now and then she just goes into breakdown mode and just sits in her room and cries. and she calls me nonstop on those days and its so annoying. its not real sadness though. that bitch dont know real sadness. shes got every material posession you could possibly imagine, the worlds greatest boyfriend, the nicest parents ever, shes fucking gorgeous and has a perfect body, and a year ago she made fun of emos and said her life could not have been more fulfilled. but now, she acts like shes the only one thats ever been unhappy. She broke up with this fucktard boyfriend that she had been dating for seriously 2 weeks last year, and it pretty much changed her life. But, anyone else would have been happy to get out of an abusive relationship with an ugly grug addict alky. she just thinks no one understands her. even after she found the love of her life. I'm pretty much the happiest person alive, and, have basically the worst life in the world. I have a shitty job, no dad, I live in the projects of Sacramento, my mom is a whore ex-drug addict that just got out of jail, and I've been pretty good at hiding it till right now. If it werent for my friends I'd be dead by now. I pretty much have to act happy even when I'm pissed all day long solely because this bitch is on the brink of killing herself, and if she gets any negative attention around her or sees a dead bird, she runs away and cries. what the fuck?

Thinking about it

posted on 7/7/2006 2:54:33 AM in (0) Comments

I just love him so much! His name's Derick. He's TALLER than me! thats hard to find when your 5 8! I seem to fit perfectly in his arms. He has the most beautiful blue eyes. He should bean a&f model!! I love him I love him I love him!!! I haven't told my friends but they'll know when I see them at work tomorrow. I am so head over heels in love for this guy. I cant believe this. I just wanna....TELL SOMEONE! but I wanna wait till tomorrow when we're all together. I cant believe I am keeping something from Tyler. My first ever friend, the first boy I had a crush on. my first boyfriend. the boy I lost it to. The boy tha gave me my most prized posession, (my A necklace) and the best person in the world. Ilove him. I want to call him but cant. sorry if I'm rambling at 1 am but I've just never ever felt any thing this before. I lose my breath just thinking about this feeling

The worlds corniest blog. but its all true...

posted on 7/7/2006 12:10:24 AM in (0) Comments

Have you ever been in love before? I have. I am now. I met this amazing guy on Tuesday. 4th of July, yes. I shered an amazing kiss with him under the fireworks. And I'm not kidding. The world stopped for those 20 seconds. He was just holding me and caressing my arm and it was so romantic. like an explosion in my head and my mind was totally clear, and I couldnt breathe. You know the song Take My Breath Away? Thats real stuff right there. It was like - stops time - Oh my god he is so cute. and nice, and funny. and sweet. I love this boy. Stop looking at me with those beautiful eyes, and, wait, lips? oh shit. But, seriously, as soon as he kissed me, I just knew. This is him. This is the guy I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. I thought I was "In love" with my last boyfriend, but no. That was a COMPLETELY different feeling. This is...just...indescribable. Oh my god I'm so happy for any one thats in love. You're all so lucky. It's the best feeling ever. I'm in love, Thats fun to say, type, think. I'm in love. I'm in love. I'm in love

Sulking Time!

posted on 5/17/2006 9:52:24 PM in (4) Comments

Right now, I am not so happy. I just got back from the mall, where I usually get so happy. A nice new purse, and a jamba juice, and getting to see Matt @ Claires! BUt not this time! I am sad cuz I gained 10 pounds over the last 4 months! usually, I pride myself on being "bootylicious" but this is getting kinda bad. um, is being 5'7" and 160 lb kinda overweight? I think it kinda is... My friends tell me it isnt, but I cant believe em cuz there my friends! I don't really look fat, but I feel fat. help me out with this!

MYSPACE

posted on 4/29/2006 3:38:55 PM in (2) Comments

I Totally got a myspace!!! People have been asking me and bugging me about getting one. And now, I TOTALLY HAVE ONE!!!

You Can Add Your Girl Janie Here!!!
WWW.Myspace.com/JayJayTheJetPlane17

Thank You Come Again!

I'm Starting To Like NewBlog!

posted on 4/29/2006 3:27:12 PM in (2) Comments

It's fun. Everyone's really nice and I've met a lot of new friends that I've been talking to over MSN. BUt, there's still one problem! I can't think of anything I wanna write about! If you have any ideas please let Janie know!!!
Love, Janie

YAY! My first ever blog!

posted on 4/26/2006 8:22:15 PM in (5) Comments

Well, my very first blog! How exciting! Hmm...I don't know what to talk about! lol...How bout I start with introducing myself:
I'm Janie. I'm 17 years old. my interests are: music, dancing, eating(I do that way too much, haha) modeling, I'm an aspiring model, taking pictures, and all kinds of art! haha! I really like kids, and I want a couple of those some day. I'm here to meet friends and just someone to talk to. I'm single, but I'm not here for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Thankyou for lissening and I'll post more when I feel the need to. buh bye!!
love,Janie

MSN: JayJayTheJetPlane16@hotmail.com

Send private message Invite to Friend Network Photo Album Block this user MOD: SUSPEND