It's cold outside today.

It's been awhile since I updated this thing so lets seeeee. I've been slacking on the whole job thing, although I did get some applications in nothing yet has popped up! Being back in the grove, hanging out with old friends. My sugarbear went out of town for a whole week to Tennessee to visit his family, it was a sudden thing and we had little time to prepare and its been SUCKING big time. And considering we're inseperable, this week has been long, boring, and just plain torture. But everyone keeps telling me "Oh being apart just makes the heart fonder" [yada yada yada] Maybe so, but geesh I'm turning into a nutcase. Today is a stereotypical "Fall" day. It's about 43degreez, sunny and brisk as hell. :] I loveeit. Well I'm off for my afternoon run! Gotta keep my body vicious! :] Much love xoxoxoxoooooo (1) Comments

Posted: 10/16/2008 2:32:44 PM

Good News.

Today I wokeup by an old friend tapping on my bedroom window. She and I spent the whole day catching up, away from the boys and everything else. It was nice, and for once I'm relieved. Feels like I just needed to get away and have some breathing room. Staying the night with her tonight and going job hunting early in the morning! Wish me luck: Much love xoxo http://www.myspace.com/lalablondie182 This is my life.^^^ (2) Comments

Posted: 10/7/2008 3:24:25 AM

A day unlike any other.

I have to vent:::: Wokeup this morning feeling like shit. Not like sick, just fed up with everything. I wish I could move out, not like its bad here or anything. I mean I get to do whatever I want, curfew isnt bad and its a place to sleep and eat and chill. It's just I want so bad to have something of my own, and free reign. I forget that I'm now able to make my own desicions, you know since I'm legally an adult. But It isnt that easy, I'm still treated like I dont know how to do things, and I'm still talked to by people like I dont know what I'm talking about. My family dosent want to accept that I can pretty much do anything I want, because according to them, "As long as you live in my house, its my rules." That and honestly, I dont think they could survive without me. I am a slave to house work because "I have no job" and everyone else trashes the place like it's going out of style. Yeah I'm sick of it. Sorta depressed, and yet still there is nothing that can be done unless I do it on my own. Doc put me on 100mg of Zoloft and besides feeling like a Zombie most of the time, I'm decent. Ups and downs, and constant anxiety. Fears for no apparent reason, and horrible spurts of frustration. It holds me back from everything and because of that my confidence and my motivation have gone CAPOOT! UGHGHGHGH: I realize that I have a tendency to make things more difficult than they are but you know, nobody else is hard on me really and sometimes I guess you just have to kick your own self in the ass. ................. Passed up on going to the stupid Pumpkin farm today with the family. They didnt see why I didnt want to go. All I feel like doing is being with Austin and sitting on the bench and talking. We have the best talks and I've kind of came to the conclusion that he is in fact the only perosn on this planet that really makes me feel better about everything. I plan on having a job by Friday. A goal I made last night:: I guess we'll see what happens. BAHHH HUMBUGG! (3) Comments

Posted: 10/5/2008 12:32:32 PM

It is Saaaaturday.

So I was very pleased to see that I had 4 comments on my last blog post:] It's nice to know that people actually do read this stuff, and now that I know I'm not talking to a brick wall I will continue to speel on and on about my "life" and hopefully I will continue to get good feedback, because I love hearing what all of you have to say! So besides living in Illinois- which by the way is NOTHING special. I mean, lots of corn crops and dumb crops and just crops everywhere, not to mention flat land and nothing pretty and hilly AT ALL! But living so close to St Louis does have its ups, I mean we're close to the GATEWAY ARCH, which once again, isnt really anything special. So besides living in a town with absolutly NOTHING to do, I'm very eager to travel. I am really wanting to go to Europe sometime in my life, but hey dont we all. I dont really know what I'm good at, besides studying fashion and design and knowing all sorts of rules about Modeling and Runway. I would love to pursue something in that industry, but I have no idea where to start:/ hmmmmmm. I am wanting to do something FUN today. boyfriend gets off of work at 2:30 this afternoon and with the weather being sunny but chilly I'm sure we could find something festive and "halloweenish" to do. Maybe we should just go carve some pumpkins:D Well, I'm off to do something more productive. Whats everyone doing today? :) Leave me lotsa things I can come back toooooo: loveee, Stephanie. (3) Comments

Posted: 10/4/2008 12:02:21 PM

Here goes nothing

Alright let's see. Like I said, my name is Stephanie. I'm a recent highschool graduate with no direct purpose in life! HOORAY...NOT. So figuring out what I want to do with my life is extremely complicated. And I've been following the lazy route for quite some time now. Now that you all know that I'm what you may call a procrastinator, I feel better. hehe. Let's see, I live in a family where I am the only girl and I am the oldest out of all the kids. I have one brother who is turning sixteen and just now hitting the age to where he is kind of becoming "cool" and not whining like a little baby all of the time. I have a Mom and Dad whom I live with and they've been married for 20 years. My father is the biggest Elvis Fan known to man and is often outside in our "elvis garage" which is filled with priceless collectables and cd's and everything you could possibly think of. My mother however, dispises his what you might call "obsession" and tries to forget that her husband loves a dead guy. hahaha I've been dating the same boy since my freshman year of highschool and we're always together, bestfriends in fact. Austin is the only person I trust, and the only person who actually understands me. I loveeee himmmmmm: he's the best. I am new to all of this blogging. Let's be friends! xo Stephalufagus. (5) Comments

Posted: 10/3/2008 5:08:36 PM