Junkee
if you cannot dance before the Revolution then the revolution is not worth having
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i drink coffee, lots of it. I work. I sleep. I like to cook. Sandwiches are considered a meal. The only time I am serious is when I'm joking. I'm an Asshole before you get to know me. After that I'm just an asshole that you know. My humor is twisted.
Age: 35
Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: here n there, NH
myspace account: http://www.myspace.com/28426575
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update
Posted 10/28/2006 12:45:17 AM
update
So apparently i should just put the puter down and just walk away...
i had been browsing external hard drives the other day for my laptop...and i got all the way to the confirm shipment...when the error appeared...not sure what happened...but my second 300$ hard drive should arrive in 2-3 days...
*****
some more money meandering...i upped my insurance to a HMO...about 3x the amount i have been paying a month...
And at the beginning of the year i will be giving my company back 200 dollars a month to pay for my flex account so i can get some medical stuff done that i ve been putting off for so long...it hurts now-the money thing...
i just hope it feels better a year from now when everything is paid for...
...
Harley may be getting a hair cut this week...he needs one...and im not sure how much longer i will let my hair grow...big desire to shave the thing tonight...
...
alrighty im outy here...wanna play with the new hard drive...
Posted 10/28/2006 12:45:17 AM
update
So apparently i should just put the puter down and just walk away...
i had been browsing external hard drives the other day for my laptop...and i got all the way to the confirm shipment...when the error appeared...not sure what happened...but my second 300$ hard drive should arrive in 2-3 days...
*****
some more money meandering...i upped my insurance to a HMO...about 3x the amount i have been paying a month...
And at the beginning of the year i will be giving my company back 200 dollars a month to pay for my flex account so i can get some medical stuff done that i ve been putting off for so long...it hurts now-the money thing...
i just hope it feels better a year from now when everything is paid for...
...
Harley may be getting a hair cut this week...he needs one...and im not sure how much longer i will let my hair grow...big desire to shave the thing tonight...
...
alrighty im outy here...wanna play with the new hard drive...
notyourherospeaksoftheheart
Posted 10/28/2006 12:44:20 AM
i post this one unedited...and unasked for and definatly unfinished...as the last few lines will show...
...but i thought some of you needed to hear some of my ANGST and forget your own.
and the timing of today just seemed to fit for me...
**************
As my heart pounded in my chest, I worried that I would not get that chance…
There was so much left for me to do
So much left unsaid.
I have so many thoughts that I want to put into form and share with anyone with nothing better to do.
The thought that I might not get that chance really scared me.
I knew for certain that I didn't want this to be my final thought.
The life I have is Undignified and unfair…
This is not how it is supposed to end.
Tears come to my eyes and the pain in my chest grows worse…
Will I have the chance to show you what you mean to me?
Will you understand?
Would you take the time to know me?
People say that they know me, but I disagree…
They know some guy.
One that looks and sounds just like me…
But you do not know what is in my heart or in my mind…
You may be able to manipulate me and
I am not your hero…
Posted 10/28/2006 12:44:20 AM
i post this one unedited...and unasked for and definatly unfinished...as the last few lines will show...
...but i thought some of you needed to hear some of my ANGST and forget your own.
and the timing of today just seemed to fit for me...
**************
As my heart pounded in my chest, I worried that I would not get that chance…
There was so much left for me to do
So much left unsaid.
I have so many thoughts that I want to put into form and share with anyone with nothing better to do.
The thought that I might not get that chance really scared me.
I knew for certain that I didn't want this to be my final thought.
The life I have is Undignified and unfair…
This is not how it is supposed to end.
Tears come to my eyes and the pain in my chest grows worse…
Will I have the chance to show you what you mean to me?
Will you understand?
Would you take the time to know me?
People say that they know me, but I disagree…
They know some guy.
One that looks and sounds just like me…
But you do not know what is in my heart or in my mind…
You may be able to manipulate me and
I am not your hero…
some unpleasent truths
Posted 10/28/2006 12:43:25 AM
some unpleasent truths
as always i am complaining about something...this wouldnt be one of my blogs if i wasnt...
i am upset...what else is new huh?
So i talked to an old friend today...
and we briefly talked about the bridge that was 'burned' between us, so to speak.
Some of the details and the whys are still unresolved, i'm not sure that either of us have the energy to hash it out until were both content...we're both fairly stubborn.
Before today i was unsure as to why i had lost a friend and tonight i now feel as though i lost a brother.
Did you ever have that one friend that you could turn to and say anything and not be judged?
no matter how stupid you were by yourself it was acceptable when you had yer wingman with ya.
out of respect for others decisions i didn't go running to ask for answers.
there were a few times over the last year or so that i almost broke down and crossed that line, where i needed a friend...a familliar face and ear to talk to...
BUT.
i made due with the people around me and maybe i grew up a little bit. Maybe it was a good thing...who is to say or know?
i'd love to rant and rave about how this was handled, but i cannot. i've burned some of my own bridges the same way...
An asshole i may be...i won't knowingly be a hypocrite...
One thing that both of us will agree on i think is that Life is way to short to hold a grudge...
so take the olive branch ...
and maybe sometime we can get a coffee and bullshit about the old times that we had...
And who knows...
maybe in forty years we'll be those old farts complaining about the young punks...
instead of two farts that used to be best friends wondering how the other is doing these days...
out.
***********************
lemme tell you all a story...
few years ago i dated this chick...she was a teacher assistant...which was kool, teachers are hot..lol
we really didnt hit it off to well...she was a burnout and me..well i am me....i hardly get along with anyone too too long anyways...call it a character flaw...
Well she lived at this house that had a nice huge private yard and awesome pool...she had invited me over for bbq and a night out at some club in Hampton NH to see one of the local yokel bands...Ron Jones Band minus the actual band...
which was fine-then.
i show up to her house and she and a few of her GFs were in the pool area swimming around topless...yes i was in boobie heaven for that nice hour..and no i couldnt get out of the pool...shrinkage was definatly not a problem that day.
about an hour before were to go to the show...her buddies bring out this contraption and set it up on the picnic table...
it appeared to be...a trick o treat basket...filled with H2o...
then a moutain dew 2 ltr bottle appeared with the bottom cut off...
as i watched them arrange the junk...they explained to me that it was a water bong...ok ...kool...
then they showed me how it worked...
and then like a dumbass...i tried it...
and my Gf explained to me...that they were smoking high dollar stuff and then asked me if i was going to be ok to drive...
'of course im ok...i don't feel anything.....'
so i tried it again...
i am briefly hearing Anthony michael Hall in the back round still...
'bitch can't hold her (his) smoke...."
yea one would have been relatively good...two very very bad...
while im sure the details of what i went through would be very funny...i'll stick to the basics...
AS desinated driver....i wasn't in ANY condition to drive...let alone leave the seat i rooted myself to for the next hour or so...
that particular GF broke up with me that night...after bitching me out for not telling her i wasn;t a smoker...
i call that story the first time i got high....and the last time i got high...interesting isnt it?
and sad to.
all through highschool i steered away from all sorts of situations like that...always using humor and my standred line..." i dont want to be remembered 30yrs from now for smoking pot when i get elected to the supremecourt"
So i made a decision...albeit a not very good one...
shit happens.
Do you think i learned my lesson?
SEVERAL.
that is the neat thing about being an adult...
you make the decisions and then they are yours to live with.
While some may say i am still the unexperienced jerk that i have always been- and i won't argue...i will say that i have learned alot about nothing and everything over the past 15 years...
life lessons and the consquences of actions and REACTIONS...
i am still learning to keep my mouth shut at the appropriate times...that one is tuff for me for some reason...
i do know that there is more to being a friend than just saying that you are...
For the ones that know me...my friends(old and new), i would be there for all of you. even the ones i don't talk to anymore.
To help out any way i could.
when i say i am not your Hero...i am full of shit...i have the cape and the utility belt...
a bit off topic of what i wanted to say...
but hey...maybe i will eventually get around and confess who and what my 'muse' was for some of my emoshit that i made some of you read over the past year...
cause if ya think i ever told the truth about "her" you might be wrong ...
Or maybe i won't....i almost did last week...
oh and i am still writing poems...i just havent felt good about many of them to continue posting them....back when i was on that really good run of 1-2 a week, those were the originals...posted as i wrote them...or just right off the top of my brain pan....unedited which is usually my best stuff for me...now im writing them and nitpicking them...and burying them....owell
i need to step away from this thing for a bit.
Posted 10/28/2006 12:43:25 AM
some unpleasent truths
as always i am complaining about something...this wouldnt be one of my blogs if i wasnt...
i am upset...what else is new huh?
So i talked to an old friend today...
and we briefly talked about the bridge that was 'burned' between us, so to speak.
Some of the details and the whys are still unresolved, i'm not sure that either of us have the energy to hash it out until were both content...we're both fairly stubborn.
Before today i was unsure as to why i had lost a friend and tonight i now feel as though i lost a brother.
Did you ever have that one friend that you could turn to and say anything and not be judged?
no matter how stupid you were by yourself it was acceptable when you had yer wingman with ya.
out of respect for others decisions i didn't go running to ask for answers.
there were a few times over the last year or so that i almost broke down and crossed that line, where i needed a friend...a familliar face and ear to talk to...
BUT.
i made due with the people around me and maybe i grew up a little bit. Maybe it was a good thing...who is to say or know?
i'd love to rant and rave about how this was handled, but i cannot. i've burned some of my own bridges the same way...
An asshole i may be...i won't knowingly be a hypocrite...
One thing that both of us will agree on i think is that Life is way to short to hold a grudge...
so take the olive branch ...
and maybe sometime we can get a coffee and bullshit about the old times that we had...
And who knows...
maybe in forty years we'll be those old farts complaining about the young punks...
instead of two farts that used to be best friends wondering how the other is doing these days...
out.
***********************
lemme tell you all a story...
few years ago i dated this chick...she was a teacher assistant...which was kool, teachers are hot..lol
we really didnt hit it off to well...she was a burnout and me..well i am me....i hardly get along with anyone too too long anyways...call it a character flaw...
Well she lived at this house that had a nice huge private yard and awesome pool...she had invited me over for bbq and a night out at some club in Hampton NH to see one of the local yokel bands...Ron Jones Band minus the actual band...
which was fine-then.
i show up to her house and she and a few of her GFs were in the pool area swimming around topless...yes i was in boobie heaven for that nice hour..and no i couldnt get out of the pool...shrinkage was definatly not a problem that day.
about an hour before were to go to the show...her buddies bring out this contraption and set it up on the picnic table...
it appeared to be...a trick o treat basket...filled with H2o...
then a moutain dew 2 ltr bottle appeared with the bottom cut off...
as i watched them arrange the junk...they explained to me that it was a water bong...ok ...kool...
then they showed me how it worked...
and then like a dumbass...i tried it...
and my Gf explained to me...that they were smoking high dollar stuff and then asked me if i was going to be ok to drive...
'of course im ok...i don't feel anything.....'
so i tried it again...
i am briefly hearing Anthony michael Hall in the back round still...
'bitch can't hold her (his) smoke...."
yea one would have been relatively good...two very very bad...
while im sure the details of what i went through would be very funny...i'll stick to the basics...
AS desinated driver....i wasn't in ANY condition to drive...let alone leave the seat i rooted myself to for the next hour or so...
that particular GF broke up with me that night...after bitching me out for not telling her i wasn;t a smoker...
i call that story the first time i got high....and the last time i got high...interesting isnt it?
and sad to.
all through highschool i steered away from all sorts of situations like that...always using humor and my standred line..." i dont want to be remembered 30yrs from now for smoking pot when i get elected to the supremecourt"
So i made a decision...albeit a not very good one...
shit happens.
Do you think i learned my lesson?
SEVERAL.
that is the neat thing about being an adult...
you make the decisions and then they are yours to live with.
While some may say i am still the unexperienced jerk that i have always been- and i won't argue...i will say that i have learned alot about nothing and everything over the past 15 years...
life lessons and the consquences of actions and REACTIONS...
i am still learning to keep my mouth shut at the appropriate times...that one is tuff for me for some reason...
i do know that there is more to being a friend than just saying that you are...
For the ones that know me...my friends(old and new), i would be there for all of you. even the ones i don't talk to anymore.
To help out any way i could.
when i say i am not your Hero...i am full of shit...i have the cape and the utility belt...
a bit off topic of what i wanted to say...
but hey...maybe i will eventually get around and confess who and what my 'muse' was for some of my emoshit that i made some of you read over the past year...
cause if ya think i ever told the truth about "her" you might be wrong ...
Or maybe i won't....i almost did last week...
oh and i am still writing poems...i just havent felt good about many of them to continue posting them....back when i was on that really good run of 1-2 a week, those were the originals...posted as i wrote them...or just right off the top of my brain pan....unedited which is usually my best stuff for me...now im writing them and nitpicking them...and burying them....owell
i need to step away from this thing for a bit.
bloggety bloggin
Posted 10/19/2006 11:42:55 PM
so apparently i don;t pay attention to this site as well as i should...especially when im posting articles...i sat down tonight and browsed through some of my articles that i have yet to share...ooh this one looks good..nope tha ones not quite ready for viewing..yadda yadda blah blah yadda blah and so forth...
as i was looking at my page i realized that people were leaving comments. my excitementwas so much i rushed to their pages to express my gratitude that reeked of desperation...
i leisurly stolled back and noticed that i double posted...grrr.
that's all.
nothing the delete key cannot fix.
oh...in my bio is a link to my myspace page if you want to see some pictures from a car show i went to in the beggining of Oct...
take care...
~nyh
Posted 10/19/2006 11:42:55 PM
so apparently i don;t pay attention to this site as well as i should...especially when im posting articles...i sat down tonight and browsed through some of my articles that i have yet to share...ooh this one looks good..nope tha ones not quite ready for viewing..yadda yadda blah blah yadda blah and so forth...
as i was looking at my page i realized that people were leaving comments. my excitementwas so much i rushed to their pages to express my gratitude that reeked of desperation...
i leisurly stolled back and noticed that i double posted...grrr.
that's all.
nothing the delete key cannot fix.
oh...in my bio is a link to my myspace page if you want to see some pictures from a car show i went to in the beggining of Oct...
take care...
~nyh
some more words
Posted 10/19/2006 11:06:07 PM
i am lost again
standing in a crowded room
wandering through the gazes of unseeing eyes of uncaring faces
never seen
never heard
wallowing in what is left of my pride
i let the darkness of my mind pull me back into my despair...
"i run away from you only to run to you"
no matter where i go
no matter how long it has been
you creep back into my life
(like a cold sore...lol)
the thoughts linger like a bad smell
ones that you cannot quite recognize but make you cringe just the same
************
i'd rather talk about you...the her not in my life.
the her that i wish was here with me in the here and now
i fell
and you weren't there
i fell and you couldnt help
i fell because of you
of who you are
and what you meant to me
i fell for you
and knowing that
i would do it again
you are her....and she is that her that is not in my life...
she'll never know if you never tell her...
and i won't tell you either.
**********
without my misery of my being me
i have no suffering of memory of the things i have yet to do....
Posted 10/19/2006 11:06:07 PM
i am lost again
standing in a crowded room
wandering through the gazes of unseeing eyes of uncaring faces
never seen
never heard
wallowing in what is left of my pride
i let the darkness of my mind pull me back into my despair...
"i run away from you only to run to you"
no matter where i go
no matter how long it has been
you creep back into my life
(like a cold sore...lol)
the thoughts linger like a bad smell
ones that you cannot quite recognize but make you cringe just the same
************
i'd rather talk about you...the her not in my life.
the her that i wish was here with me in the here and now
i fell
and you weren't there
i fell and you couldnt help
i fell because of you
of who you are
and what you meant to me
i fell for you
and knowing that
i would do it again
you are her....and she is that her that is not in my life...
she'll never know if you never tell her...
and i won't tell you either.
**********
without my misery of my being me
i have no suffering of memory of the things i have yet to do....
more commercials
Posted 10/19/2006 11:03:27 PM
another commercial that made me laugh...not this weekend, but it would have helped..
this one i saw this past week- of a lady in her yard playing with her flower garden
cmon get yer head out of the gutter....
and she is squirting some plant food on her flowers...some lady asks her where she got the food...oh it is something i saw on tv....shes says...
and everything in her garden dies....
next segment shows her finding and buying some more better stuff on google or something...
and she is out there again bragging to the neighbor
when she sprays the food...all the plants and grass grow back and bigger....
the funny-almost-choked-on-my-breakfast
was when the dog digs its way back to the surface!!!
apparently the food was so good that it even brought the deceased back to life...
*********
Posted 10/19/2006 11:03:27 PM
another commercial that made me laugh...not this weekend, but it would have helped..
this one i saw this past week- of a lady in her yard playing with her flower garden
cmon get yer head out of the gutter....
and she is squirting some plant food on her flowers...some lady asks her where she got the food...oh it is something i saw on tv....shes says...
and everything in her garden dies....
next segment shows her finding and buying some more better stuff on google or something...
and she is out there again bragging to the neighbor
when she sprays the food...all the plants and grass grow back and bigger....
the funny-almost-choked-on-my-breakfast
was when the dog digs its way back to the surface!!!
apparently the food was so good that it even brought the deceased back to life...
*********
some poetry stuff
Posted 10/17/2006 12:32:34 AM
i found my self lost
Current mood: morose
i found my self lost
sick of what i have become in this life...
i tried to think of what i should have done instead ...
regret after regret
and i regret that things between us never really mattered...
my back is against the wall but i still feel my self falling...
i've fallen as far as i can...
someone gave me a shovel so i can dig a little deeper
self pity and depression...go together like coffee and ciggerettes..i like my coffee black as night and sweet as sin now i just need a light..
i'd let you rip my heart out but i can't remember to whom i loaned it to last...
i regret that i must inform you that i have no idea how long i have wandered this earth without my SOUL
everything is tasteless. the air is stale. i find no joy in the life that i am living. and i cannot find another one to live while surfing on Ebay.
i found myself lost.
no where to go.
spiraled down as far as i can...now it is just up to my imagination to find a way further down.
i reflect on all the i regret...and i regret that all i do is reflect everything around me...
the image of me...falsely misunderstood.
mundane to the bone...
don't get to close you dont know when i might go off on a tangent and rant and rave about nothing and everything to do with something that i have no clue about.
live you own life.
do your own time.
if you take the time to worry about someone elses problems then yours will just be 10 times as worse when you finally recall them.
i've found that i am still lost in my sorrows of regret...
i regret that all i could have done is nothing compared to what i should have done...what would you have done if i had shared my regret with you? pitied? cried out in anger? laughed at the expense of others only to have the government tax the hell out of that to?
i have had nothing but time to think long and short on several things in my life...not any of it at all remotely interesting.
a stir CRAZY mood is the conclusion or if i really want to be dramatic...and post climatic a SHINING way of life for me of 'all work and no play..."
i regret that i have some regrets.
none of which mean much to me...and again i regret that i have lived in a world where i spent several years never hearing my name.
the saddest part of that is not that i never heard it...but that no one ever asked me it.
again i find myself lost in the world of my mind..
plagued by doubt.
i wanted to...but i just couldn't say it. what if ...
maybe i shouldn't
i hate the feelings of helplessness that i get when i am awake.
In MY dreams I am that Hero.
everyones Hero.
your hero.
In my dreams.
Posted 10/17/2006 12:32:34 AM
i found my self lost
Current mood: morose
i found my self lost
sick of what i have become in this life...
i tried to think of what i should have done instead ...
regret after regret
and i regret that things between us never really mattered...
my back is against the wall but i still feel my self falling...
i've fallen as far as i can...
someone gave me a shovel so i can dig a little deeper
self pity and depression...go together like coffee and ciggerettes..i like my coffee black as night and sweet as sin now i just need a light..
i'd let you rip my heart out but i can't remember to whom i loaned it to last...
i regret that i must inform you that i have no idea how long i have wandered this earth without my SOUL
everything is tasteless. the air is stale. i find no joy in the life that i am living. and i cannot find another one to live while surfing on Ebay.
i found myself lost.
no where to go.
spiraled down as far as i can...now it is just up to my imagination to find a way further down.
i reflect on all the i regret...and i regret that all i do is reflect everything around me...
the image of me...falsely misunderstood.
mundane to the bone...
don't get to close you dont know when i might go off on a tangent and rant and rave about nothing and everything to do with something that i have no clue about.
live you own life.
do your own time.
if you take the time to worry about someone elses problems then yours will just be 10 times as worse when you finally recall them.
i've found that i am still lost in my sorrows of regret...
i regret that all i could have done is nothing compared to what i should have done...what would you have done if i had shared my regret with you? pitied? cried out in anger? laughed at the expense of others only to have the government tax the hell out of that to?
i have had nothing but time to think long and short on several things in my life...not any of it at all remotely interesting.
a stir CRAZY mood is the conclusion or if i really want to be dramatic...and post climatic a SHINING way of life for me of 'all work and no play..."
i regret that i have some regrets.
none of which mean much to me...and again i regret that i have lived in a world where i spent several years never hearing my name.
the saddest part of that is not that i never heard it...but that no one ever asked me it.
again i find myself lost in the world of my mind..
plagued by doubt.
i wanted to...but i just couldn't say it. what if ...
maybe i shouldn't
i hate the feelings of helplessness that i get when i am awake.
In MY dreams I am that Hero.
everyones Hero.
your hero.
In my dreams.
commercials 2
Posted 10/17/2006 12:30:45 AM
did any one notice...
that in those stupid ENZYTE comercials...the one with our friend BOB....in the one where he s bowling....that his bowling ball is blue? is this a side effect of the drug?
Posted 10/17/2006 12:30:45 AM
did any one notice...
that in those stupid ENZYTE comercials...the one with our friend BOB....in the one where he s bowling....that his bowling ball is blue? is this a side effect of the drug?
frickked up dreaming
Posted 4/3/2006 7:51:55 PM
almost twice this week i have had a pretty disturbing dream. i'd call it a nightmare only because i was no longer in control of the dream. not for the other details that take place
now i read alot of books with violence and movies of the same nature plus i watch the news every once in awhile
anyhoo...i wasnt surprised when my dream turned into some video game hack and slash thing with the zombies...what did surprise me was the damned twist...always that damned twist that just surprises one when they arent looking for a twist let alone a damned one!!!
DAMMIT.
oh yea the twist
the damned one even
i was running down the proverbial corridor hackin' and slashin' away at the monsters jumpin and jukin' even...when i fell into a room full of survivors....of what i 'm not sure
i was grabbed by them and i realized that i was safe from the monsters out side the room in the hall way..
UNTIL these guys started hackin' and slashin' and jumpin' and even jukin' even...at me? WTF
allright a dream. let's see where this will go...will i float through a wall like a ghost or get big and strong like my hero the Hulk and smash some things?
or will i do a Sho'nuff and kick their Arses all over the place...
to my surprise i didnt don any of these things...
my arms and legs were pinned against my will and one of the assailents kept driving a spike into my side puncturing one of my lungs....sound effects and all..thank someone that i have such a great fucking subconscious -imagination.
*******
At this point i woke...kinda...obviously gasping for air and not receiving any...all weekend i've had this really bad chest cold just eating up my insides...every breath i've taken today has been really painful like someone had punched me a few in the gut and ribs...a pretty good reminder of the guy sticking me in the side...funny note: i think it was the high guys in the car in the movie Supertroopers that were killing me....
'the snozzberries taste like snozzberries!!'
one thing that stikes me as funny about this whole dream was that i woke up mad because i didnt fly or do anything kool...not because someone was stabbing me...
that and i woke up 5 minutes before the alarm was set to go off on the first monday after daylight savings time...especially after it took so long to actually FALL asleep in the first place
i've always been a decent venturer in my mind when it came to the dream stuff...i have studied a few books on lucid dreaming and had several 'deja vu' dreams all through my life where i'd dream a clip of something and then within a few months or years that moment in time would "click" back into perspective and i'd reconize it and actually recall the dream again
i dont mean like catyclismic shit...usually less than mundane crap like dreaming of myself playing with a certain set of colored marbels on the side of the road and then actually having my mother buy me a bag of red marbels and a bag of green ones...and then taking them out of the bags and then playing with them on the curb of a street while she used a pay phone
so i was and still am a bit of a freaky kid.
the point of sharing that little marbel story is that i hope i dont get stabbed anytime in the future.
Posted 4/3/2006 7:51:55 PM
almost twice this week i have had a pretty disturbing dream. i'd call it a nightmare only because i was no longer in control of the dream. not for the other details that take place
now i read alot of books with violence and movies of the same nature plus i watch the news every once in awhile
anyhoo...i wasnt surprised when my dream turned into some video game hack and slash thing with the zombies...what did surprise me was the damned twist...always that damned twist that just surprises one when they arent looking for a twist let alone a damned one!!!
DAMMIT.
oh yea the twist
the damned one even
i was running down the proverbial corridor hackin' and slashin' away at the monsters jumpin and jukin' even...when i fell into a room full of survivors....of what i 'm not sure
i was grabbed by them and i realized that i was safe from the monsters out side the room in the hall way..
UNTIL these guys started hackin' and slashin' and jumpin' and even jukin' even...at me? WTF
allright a dream. let's see where this will go...will i float through a wall like a ghost or get big and strong like my hero the Hulk and smash some things?
or will i do a Sho'nuff and kick their Arses all over the place...
to my surprise i didnt don any of these things...
my arms and legs were pinned against my will and one of the assailents kept driving a spike into my side puncturing one of my lungs....sound effects and all..thank someone that i have such a great fucking subconscious -imagination.
*******
At this point i woke...kinda...obviously gasping for air and not receiving any...all weekend i've had this really bad chest cold just eating up my insides...every breath i've taken today has been really painful like someone had punched me a few in the gut and ribs...a pretty good reminder of the guy sticking me in the side...funny note: i think it was the high guys in the car in the movie Supertroopers that were killing me....
'the snozzberries taste like snozzberries!!'
one thing that stikes me as funny about this whole dream was that i woke up mad because i didnt fly or do anything kool...not because someone was stabbing me...
that and i woke up 5 minutes before the alarm was set to go off on the first monday after daylight savings time...especially after it took so long to actually FALL asleep in the first place
i've always been a decent venturer in my mind when it came to the dream stuff...i have studied a few books on lucid dreaming and had several 'deja vu' dreams all through my life where i'd dream a clip of something and then within a few months or years that moment in time would "click" back into perspective and i'd reconize it and actually recall the dream again
i dont mean like catyclismic shit...usually less than mundane crap like dreaming of myself playing with a certain set of colored marbels on the side of the road and then actually having my mother buy me a bag of red marbels and a bag of green ones...and then taking them out of the bags and then playing with them on the curb of a street while she used a pay phone
so i was and still am a bit of a freaky kid.
the point of sharing that little marbel story is that i hope i dont get stabbed anytime in the future.
peter jackson rant
Posted 4/2/2006 9:49:12 AM
i'll watch just about any movie. And i'll try not to be to much of a critic..lol yea right...if it is a multimillion dollar movie and i see a CG effect that doesn't work well for me, i have to convince myself that the movie could still be good. i mean look they pay so much money to edit these monstrosities of movies so it will be appealing to the eye and then charge us to watch them.
one good example Pete Jackson. millions of dollars for the budget of the Lord of the Rings movies. Could you see the splicing around the gollum character? no because they paid attention to detail.
now i just watched King Kong...so much blue screening i actually saw a guy phase through one of the dinosaurs. what happened here Peter?
now if you really want to see a great low budget movie that made use of all of it's budget go rent
Dead Alive
one of Peter Jackson's more..fun movies...but at least you expect the special effects to be pretty crappy and it won't ruin the film. but usually i do like all sorts of movies.
Posted 4/2/2006 9:49:12 AM
i'll watch just about any movie. And i'll try not to be to much of a critic..lol yea right...if it is a multimillion dollar movie and i see a CG effect that doesn't work well for me, i have to convince myself that the movie could still be good. i mean look they pay so much money to edit these monstrosities of movies so it will be appealing to the eye and then charge us to watch them.
one good example Pete Jackson. millions of dollars for the budget of the Lord of the Rings movies. Could you see the splicing around the gollum character? no because they paid attention to detail.
now i just watched King Kong...so much blue screening i actually saw a guy phase through one of the dinosaurs. what happened here Peter?
now if you really want to see a great low budget movie that made use of all of it's budget go rent
Dead Alive
one of Peter Jackson's more..fun movies...but at least you expect the special effects to be pretty crappy and it won't ruin the film. but usually i do like all sorts of movies.
napkin
Posted 3/27/2006 4:53:45 PM
NAPKIN.
my mind hurts...my contacts are on too tight.
****************
if you are one of the few disciples of my MIND then i must insist that you seek medical help and try not to touch anyone any more...nasty nasty person that you are lol...let me give to you a lesson i learned today, just now actually while i paused between "...'s"
When blowing your nose and you think it might be a good idea to use a napkin...one that may have been in the handypak container that arrives with your take-out meal...especially one of those really good napkin packs that has a knife and fork and napkin because they usually have those little salt and pepper packets so you can add some 'flavor' to your meal, which seems a little bit redundant to me if you bought a type of meal that already has "flavor" cooked into it, but i digress...my point is that when you go to blow your nose and relieve that build up of snotty pressure that we all love in the winter months....
the PEPPER flavored napkin really burns your sinus when they clear. that is all.
hahaha
ow. my head still hurts.
Posted 3/27/2006 4:53:45 PM
NAPKIN.
my mind hurts...my contacts are on too tight.
****************
if you are one of the few disciples of my MIND then i must insist that you seek medical help and try not to touch anyone any more...nasty nasty person that you are lol...let me give to you a lesson i learned today, just now actually while i paused between "...'s"
When blowing your nose and you think it might be a good idea to use a napkin...one that may have been in the handypak container that arrives with your take-out meal...especially one of those really good napkin packs that has a knife and fork and napkin because they usually have those little salt and pepper packets so you can add some 'flavor' to your meal, which seems a little bit redundant to me if you bought a type of meal that already has "flavor" cooked into it, but i digress...my point is that when you go to blow your nose and relieve that build up of snotty pressure that we all love in the winter months....
the PEPPER flavored napkin really burns your sinus when they clear. that is all.
hahaha
ow. my head still hurts.
3 strikes and i'm outty
Posted 3/27/2006 4:48:23 PM
"i can't go after work...I ride home with someone."
"i can't go after work...going home to get my car and meet you in my home town i'll be all smelly from work"
"i can't go after work... going home to get my car and take a shower will mess up my schedule for the next day"
these were the reasons i received today when i asked a friend out for dinner today.
wtf? i'd like to say i am angry and everything...but i am used to it. And quite frankly..those are excuses i would use if someone asked me to accompany them somewhere.
but it still feels sucky.
Now theoretically speaking if I was to ask any one of you out for dinner this week, would you go? or give me a lame excuse or just actually turn me down?
Not having met me is not an option because this is a theorectical (10pts for using it 2x correctly) question and not having met before isn't a good excuse. Mainly because then we could call it a "BLIND DATE".
Personally i'd rather have the..."No thanks, i'm not interested in sharing a dinner with you-not because i'm to good for a free meal-i'd just rather enjoy a meal by myself than share your company."
that is straight forward and right to the point and even closes the conversation without anything else having to be said. You don't even have to add a good bye to that one.
I dont even want to go to dinner. i just thought i'd ask. so now i'm off the hook from having to make a good impression and paying for a dinner i didn't personally eat.
owell i'm sure i'll blog some good stuff about this as the week progresses.
~h
Posted 3/27/2006 4:48:23 PM
"i can't go after work...I ride home with someone."
"i can't go after work...going home to get my car and meet you in my home town i'll be all smelly from work"
"i can't go after work... going home to get my car and take a shower will mess up my schedule for the next day"
these were the reasons i received today when i asked a friend out for dinner today.
wtf? i'd like to say i am angry and everything...but i am used to it. And quite frankly..those are excuses i would use if someone asked me to accompany them somewhere.
but it still feels sucky.
Now theoretically speaking if I was to ask any one of you out for dinner this week, would you go? or give me a lame excuse or just actually turn me down?
Not having met me is not an option because this is a theorectical (10pts for using it 2x correctly) question and not having met before isn't a good excuse. Mainly because then we could call it a "BLIND DATE".
Personally i'd rather have the..."No thanks, i'm not interested in sharing a dinner with you-not because i'm to good for a free meal-i'd just rather enjoy a meal by myself than share your company."
that is straight forward and right to the point and even closes the conversation without anything else having to be said. You don't even have to add a good bye to that one.
I dont even want to go to dinner. i just thought i'd ask. so now i'm off the hook from having to make a good impression and paying for a dinner i didn't personally eat.
owell i'm sure i'll blog some good stuff about this as the week progresses.
~h
my thoughts on me and dieting...
Posted 3/19/2006 1:37:01 PM
yea i have started a diet. yay...it is not a famous one like Atkins, i'm trying common sense...i currently weigh 240 pounds at 5'9"...and it is all around my midsection...'spare tire' area.
At my last physical my dr asked me to try to lose a few pounds a month and see how i feeel by next years examination.
The biggest obstacle i see so far is..ME.
being inconsistent at just about everything i do has been a long running joke with me. Remembering to eat healthy and not the easy stuff. cooking for myself is another area that i have been trying to work on. Meals have usually been in the form of sandwiches and the like.
the Change in Diet is my first big step in doing this on my own. I am still not interested in going to a gym just yet. i'm a pretty private person and the idea of putting my self in that type of envirement is pretty disturbing.
i work in an area where i am constantly on my feet, i do a lot of walking and lifting heavy boxes some as heavy as 60 pounds.
As far as i am concerened about my body...my legs are in pretty good shape, unfortuantly i inheirited a bumm knee from my dad's side of the family, bike riding and swimming basically send me home for an ice bag.
my arms have always been skinney with a big set of shoulders...anyhow i know musclewise i could stand to beef up my triceps and forearms a bit...
so i guess i will take tom's idea about blogging about this topic and see where it gets me...i can guaramtee that i won't be as consistent and as indepth as he has been....but reading his blog gives me a bit of motivation and who knows maybe my blog will give him some extra insight on the weaknesses of his future clientel when he gets his dream job.
take care
~heath
Posted 3/19/2006 1:37:01 PM
yea i have started a diet. yay...it is not a famous one like Atkins, i'm trying common sense...i currently weigh 240 pounds at 5'9"...and it is all around my midsection...'spare tire' area.
At my last physical my dr asked me to try to lose a few pounds a month and see how i feeel by next years examination.
The biggest obstacle i see so far is..ME.
being inconsistent at just about everything i do has been a long running joke with me. Remembering to eat healthy and not the easy stuff. cooking for myself is another area that i have been trying to work on. Meals have usually been in the form of sandwiches and the like.
the Change in Diet is my first big step in doing this on my own. I am still not interested in going to a gym just yet. i'm a pretty private person and the idea of putting my self in that type of envirement is pretty disturbing.
i work in an area where i am constantly on my feet, i do a lot of walking and lifting heavy boxes some as heavy as 60 pounds.
As far as i am concerened about my body...my legs are in pretty good shape, unfortuantly i inheirited a bumm knee from my dad's side of the family, bike riding and swimming
my arms have always been skinney with a big set of shoulders...anyhow i know musclewise i could stand to beef up my triceps and forearms a bit...
so i guess i will take tom's idea about blogging about this topic and see where it gets me...i can guaramtee that i won't be as consistent and as indepth as he has been....but reading his blog gives me a bit of motivation and who knows maybe my blog will give him some extra insight on the weaknesses of his future clientel when he gets his dream job.
take care
~heath
crap
Posted 2/12/2006 5:44:40 PM
this is pretty funny...an appearance by Zakk Wylde and jim Bruer to...and i think the chick narrating is Mo Collins, formerly from MadTv...not sure though edit...yea it is her...
Posted 2/12/2006 5:44:40 PM
this is pretty funny...an appearance by Zakk Wylde and jim Bruer to...and i think the chick narrating is Mo Collins, formerly from MadTv...not sure though edit...yea it is her...
pie
Posted 1/31/2006 6:43:22 PM
i just love the fact that heaven is in a gated community....what kind of neighborhood is it in? jesus....lol oops
Posted 1/31/2006 6:43:22 PM
i just love the fact that heaven is in a gated community....what kind of neighborhood is it in? jesus....lol oops
FeedBack
soss_bond_007
3/29/2007 8:31:59 PM
Happy Birthday To You
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ardensmom
3/29/2007 7:07:34 AM
happy b-day
BrooklynFrank
10/20/2006 6:22:33 AM
thanks!
tomraper
4/11/2006 7:50:03 AM
just started new blog about stuff that's not dull and about my belly. todays subjest 'Are we just cave men in suits?" - http://tomraper.iblogs.com/
00pjessica
3/28/2006 6:17:11 AM
oh my god you dont half look like one of the band members in SYSTEM OF A DOWN! x
tomraper
2/1/2006 6:48:32 AM
Also, cheese is good but have you tried Lard?
3/29/2007 8:31:59 PM
Happy Birthday To You
Free Image Hosting by ImageCave.com
ardensmom
3/29/2007 7:07:34 AM
happy b-day
BrooklynFrank
10/20/2006 6:22:33 AM
thanks!
tomraper
4/11/2006 7:50:03 AM
just started new blog about stuff that's not dull and about my belly. todays subjest 'Are we just cave men in suits?" - http://tomraper.iblogs.com/
00pjessica
3/28/2006 6:17:11 AM
oh my god you dont half look like one of the band members in SYSTEM OF A DOWN! x
tomraper
2/1/2006 6:48:32 AM
Also, cheese is good but have you tried Lard?
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