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Friday... Posted 4/27/2007 4:44:56 PM It's the weekend again. I missed a small window of opportunity to see S today at lunch... :( !! I hate when that happens!! I miss her so much. She sent me some pics of her in Cali. Wow... I'd have given anything to be out there with her.... Have a great weekend S, I'll be thinking about you... xoxo (0) Comments

S is back!! Posted 4/25/2007 7:51:44 AM She's back form Cali with a vengeance!! Not really. No actually, I got maybe two or three emails from her all day yesterday. I'm sure she was crazy busy at work, but she didn't seem in great spirits. I worry about her you know. Although... (0) Comments

Good day to you!! Posted 4/23/2007 8:19:02 AM It's monday, back to work day. S will be back from Cali tomorrow... yay!!! I have five days worth of flowers to send her, six if you count tomorrow. I send her email flowers every day since I can't send the real thing. SHe deserves it. See you tomorrow S!!!xoxoxoxo (0) Comments

It's saturday.. Posted 4/21/2007 8:51:47 AM ...after payday. I am at work at 8:30am. What's wrong with this picture? LYSF!!! (0) Comments

It's friday... payday... Posted 4/20/2007 10:58:15 AM ... and I'm bored with work, incredibly horny (as usual) and no one to play with!!! Can anyone help me!!?? If you are interested in some good clean dirty fun, give me your best sexyness at corwin38 at hot mail dot com!!! Please, I need your help!!! Fantasies, ideas, requests, pictures, vids... anything at all, I need a release and I'm all alone!! LOL... Give me your best shot!! And if it's good enough, I'll include it in my next story to SF and I will give credit where credit is due!! Thanks to all who can help!!! (0) Comments

Damn it!!! Posted 4/19/2007 3:12:47 PM You know, of course it's fun writing stories for S, but I can't send them to her like I used to. I miss the day to day flirting, the sexy banter back and forth, the innuendo and general debauchery and naughtyness. I love talkin' dirty, and she's loves it too, but things are supposed to be platonic, so I can't exactly converse with her the way we used to. She doesn't really respond to it the way she used to, so it doesn't really matter if I talk that way or not! lol... I miss the banter back and forth though, it was fun and exciting!! I have always been a very sensual, sexual person and I love most everything associated with pleasure and excitement. ANYONE HAVE ANY SEXY STORIES TO SWAP WITH ME!!?? (0) Comments

Wow. Posted 4/19/2007 12:24:00 PM It is dead at work here. I have so much to do, but I'm bored to death becasue I have no S to email and chat with. I hope she's having a safe trip. I miss her so much. She won't be back until next tuesday!! Eeek!! Love you S!!! (0) Comments

She's gone... Posted 4/18/2007 5:13:15 PM She just emailed me and she's gone... man, am I alone... (0) Comments

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted 4/18/2007 4:11:01 PM I had lunch today with S!!! It was so awesome, she smelled sooooo good. I kissed her neck and it was sooooooo soft!!! I stole a kiss or two before we parted too...mmmmmm so beautiful, so sexy and again, sooooooooooo soft!!! I almost died, hehehe!! I kissed her soft, looked her straight in the eyes, told her softly that I loved her and kissed her softly again. It was AWESOME!! I know, I'm sure I sound like a giddy little school boy, but I can't help it, I love her sooooo much!!! I always love seeing her. I'm so glad she could see me today. she's leaving tomorrow for California and will be gone until next week!! Agh! What will I do? Also, last night I wrote another story for her, the kind I used to write. She loved it!! She called me a "naughty, naughty, naughty boy!!!!!', her words exactly! LOL... I love writing those stories for her. I love doing anything I can to excite her. She gets kind of giddy, or giggley when she reads them and it's so endearing, so cute!! I love it so much, it turns me on really. So I feel like I could rule the world today, and it's all because of her!!! Happy Day to All!!! (0) Comments

Life... what is it good for!? Posted 4/17/2007 5:03:51 PM Oh no, that's WAR, what is it good for, lol... I forgot the song for a moment. I'm having lunch with SF tomorrow!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!! She was a little busy at work last week, thats'why she didn't email very much. i can understand that, I'm pretty busy myself. It's such a bitter sweet thing sometimes when I see her. Keeping things strictly platonic is difficult for me!! LOL... She is so beautiful, and smells so good...it's hard, especially after the way we spent '06 together!!! But I remain her friend, her shoulder-to-lean-on, whenever she needs it. I know we'll probably never be together as a couple, I have to be realistic about that. But given the alternative that awaits me out there, I'd rather care for and be there for someone who cares about me, however much, than go through the BS of trying to meet someone else. I've run into nothing but heartache, trouble, avoidance and pain trying to meet women, all my life, since grade school. I'm done, beaten, I give up. After 30 years of being rejected, I've taken all the beatings emotinally I can take. And even though SF started out being physical with me and then decided she didn't want that anymore, I would still rather be there for her, because i know that at the very least, she cares for me as a friend. Which is more than I can say for most of the people I've known all my life. She's listened to my ramblings about my emotions, she's put up with my depression and gloomy attitudes, and she's never judged me, or thought I was an a-hole or anything. Her and I have so much in common it's unbelievable. She enjoys "info" as much as I do, we like the same music types, we have the same sense of humor, we have the same urges and fantasies, we like the same foods.... she is my other half. (0) Comments

So so... Posted 4/16/2007 4:44:33 PM I guess things are as well as can be expected. We're gonna have lunch this week before she goes to Cali for a few days for her uncle's wedding. I am going to miss her!! I am helping her out a little financially because no one else in her family can help I guess. I am happy to help, I just wish I could do more. I sure love that little girl!!! (0) Comments

Confusion, no connection... Posted 4/12/2007 4:48:21 PM Damn it, she's just not emailing very much anymore. She does, once in a while. But I get the feeling she's getting tired of the "Bri" experience. It's happened before. I don't know why, but, it has. If that's what she wants, fine I'll give her the space she wants, but she won't talk to me. I mean she doesn't say she won't, she just doesn't email anymore. I know what you're going to say, "take the hint dipshit!". I don't know, maybe she works that way, maybe she doesn't. If she does, I thought I was worth being honest with at least. If you want me to go away, tell me. I will expect a reason why, but I will respect her wishes. I don't think that's what she wants, but she won't talk to me damn it!! Oh well, I guess I just beat my head against the wall some more for her. Not knowing what's really going on, just hoping that she'll need me, or want to talk to me, and I'll hang here, everyday. What else is there to do? (1) Comments

Beautiful!!! Posted 4/11/2007 4:41:26 PM That's how she looked when we met for lunch today. It was a brutally short meeting, only about ten minutes or so... but oh so sweet!! lol... She looked beautiful as always. Smelled great of course. Wow... i miss her so much. I don't get to see her very much anymore. Almost never really. I gave her a couple dares... we'll see if she follows through, lol... I bet anything she chickens out!!! HA!! I loves ya S!!! (0) Comments

!!?? Posted 4/9/2007 4:38:57 PM Haven't heard a thing from her all day. No emails what so ever. Nothing. Not an f'ing sausage. Bugger all. She's probably not at work today. I hope that's the reason! lol... Either way, she is still illuminating my heart!! I'm going to enjoy some rumination in her illumination... aaahhhhhhh!!!! Brighter than the sun, and twice as much fun!! I have no idea what that means!! LOL... LOVE, SF!!!!! (0) Comments

Yet another Monday... Posted 4/9/2007 8:51:07 AM ...is upon us, and we haven't found a cure for them yet. I suppose we have to start somewhere, if we're ever going to know the bliss of the end!! I had a good weekend, a good Easter I guess. It was a quiet one, dinner over at the Mom's. I thought about SF a lot this weekend. I fantasized mostly, LOL... it was awesome!! I got to enjoy a bit of fun this weekend too so, it was pretty good all around. I miss you SF!!! XOXOX (0) Comments

Damn!! Posted 4/6/2007 4:35:15 PM Had kind of a bad day again today. My son lost my keys, woke me up at 4am to let him in the apartment, after he lost his keys last week! I was a bit distracted today and didn't get to talk to SF much. :( I had a meeting right away this morning so I couldn't talk to her, then I had to go to lunch, then when I got back from lunch, she left work early!! The frustration is monumental!! I miss her so much. I hope she has a great weekend and a wonderful Easter. And i hope all of you out there have a great holiday!!! (1) Comments

Bad day... Posted 4/5/2007 4:42:41 PM The day didn't start out too bad. But things got worse quickly. it just wasn't a good day. She's not writing me back very much. I know she's just busy or something but... I get nervous during long pauses between emails. I worry that I've said something stupid, something I shouldn't have. I'm a worrier by nature though. I have many mental complexes, things that I need to get straight in my head. Worrying too much is definately one of them. I told her I was going to be silly again for her today because she was feeling frustrated and bad. Then I go and have a bad day and totally let her down. I hate when I can't set aside my own petty issues and help her, be there for her. I am such a cad!! (0) Comments

I wish so much... Posted 4/4/2007 10:52:57 AM I wish so much there was more I could do for her. She's so stressed with work, the kids and financial hassles too, which are the worst. I send her funny little emails, songs or anything i can find to try to take her mind off her troubles. I don't know if any of it works, she sometimes just doesn't write anything back. i hope I am making her day a little easier anyway. I hate thinking she's stressed and frazzled. I want to help but what can I do? i l'll just continue to be here for her when ever she might need me. (0) Comments

Wow, this is hard.. Posted 4/3/2007 4:37:09 PM To be honest, I've never had a strictly platonic relationship with a woman, I don't think. I mean I'm not lusting after every woman I meet, but, I have never known a woman who was just a friend, whom I hung out with like I did with my male friends. I admit I have usually had some sort of attraction to most of the women I've met, but I find at least one thing attractive in just about every woman. Women are the only true works of art, I believe. The soft lines, the curves, long flowing hair, eyes you can get lost in, skin so soft it would make you cry... aaahhhhh, yes...definately art!! You can have your paintings, your sculptures... but for something truly beautiful and mesmerizing to gaze at, there is nothing more enticing than a beautiful woman. And yes, S is definately a work of art. I could gaze at her for hours. I'd send long, lingering looks in her direction, smile at her, and feel satisfied!!! She is so beautiful... i miss her so much...I was supposed to see her this week for lunch. We haven't been able to get it together yet though. I feel so bad...yet I await being in her prescence with excitement... (0) Comments

Things are good... Posted 4/2/2007 9:45:15 AM It's monday, start of a new week. i should be feeling frustrated, angry, and lost... my car needs about 3-4000 dollars worth of repairs and I can't afford to get a new one. I should be really bummed, but I'm not. I am driving my mom's car (Crown Vic) and I am seeing S for lunch. I feel great!! I am trying to be the best friend for her I can be. It's difficult though to hold back my feelings. I'm trying not to write to her about what i'm feeling, and what I want... it's hard!! LOL... I want to just innundate her with love and affection like I did before. But I can't do that. She needs a friend, not an emotional distraction. (0) Comments

I haven't talked to her much... Posted 3/27/2007 3:57:24 PM ...we've been kind of busy at work. I can't wait to see her again, although I'm not sure when that will be. I understand why she did what she did, ending the physical part of our relationship, but it hurts none the less. I told her I am still here for her though. Forever. She needs someone she can confide in. She needs to be shown that she's loved unconditionally, and supported without measure. She's a bit worried about "dumping" on me, but I told her that she can say anything to me. I can't promise I won't be hurt by some of it, but it's up to me to quelch me emotions and not come across hurt or spiteful. I told her I would always be there for her, forever...and I meant it. I hope someday, if things go south again with "him", she'll reconsider being with me. That will be the best day... hopefully. If it doesn't come, at leas I know i've helped support her emotionally. She has no one for that right now other than me. I love her so much. (2) Comments

A quick note... Posted 3/23/2007 3:41:15 PM ...a woman SHOULD be treated like a queen. Women are the only, the most beautiful and the most pleasurable of all works of art!! (1) Comments

The weekend is upon us... Posted 3/23/2007 3:21:46 PM It's friday, it's payday, my raise came through and SF is talking to me again... this is the best day!! I'm still dining out on that hug I got from her earlier this week. Man, so awesome!! She's the bestest ever!! I hope one and all have a great weekend. Get out and enjoy the weather!! Spring has sprung!!! (0) Comments

Nothing... Posted 3/22/2007 2:37:33 PM P.S. She never said anything about the letter. The day she recieved it, she emailed me and said she was shocked at the letter and asked what she did for such things to be said. I wrote back a few responses to that. But she didn't respond to me for at least a week. I wrote many emails telling her how sorry I was and how i wanted to make amends because thats what you do when you hurt someone, especially if you profess to love them. I said i'd do anything to regain her trust and respect, and i realized it would take time, but I wasn't going anywhere. I guess I must have hit the right cord with her or something. Whatever it was that made her decide to give me another chance, I'm glad for it. I'm not going to ask, i'm not pushing my luck! I'm just thanking her and remaining grateful. I'll never do anything like that again, she's too precious. (1) Comments

Life is good for five minutes... Posted 3/22/2007 2:33:20 PM Ahhh... I feel good today. I am back in good graces with the woman whom I love. She has graciously decided to give me another chance. I am very grateful too. It feels good to think she believes me when I tell her I didn't mean what I said, cuz I didn't. It's been a great day today. it's been busy, difficult and customers are hard to handle... yet somehow I feel great today. I have the opportunity to give her what she doesn't have otherwise... I can't say for sure what exactly those things are, cuz she doesn't talk to me about her life too much, she's always been a bit cryptic. All I can do is give her the love I have and hope it helps her. Hopefully, one day... I can give her everything. (0) Comments

Undeniable... Posted 3/21/2007 3:58:29 PM For everyone there is an idea, a template if you will, of the person perfect for them. I have found quite a few that have some of the qualities I am looking for over the years. However, for me, I have met the pinnacle, the apex of what I want. The tippy tippy top of desirable women!! The devastatingly, unbelievably most sexy woman to me, is SF. She is beyond mere description, she defies all preconstructs of the "female personae". I am forever a ready, willing and able slave to her charms. Lunch today turned the last three months around for me. I have been lost and dazed since I sent that damn letter. Today the veil of shame and pain was lifted by the most benevolent, beautiful woman on the planet.... for me anyway. I owe her everything. (1) Comments

Oh my god!!! Posted 3/21/2007 3:00:22 PM I can't believe it!! She met me for lunch today!! I am the luckiest man on the planet! She was so warm and beautiful. She gave me a hug I can still feel. I am so happy, I can't tell you. She's the best! I can't tell you how grateful I am she has given me this chnce to apologize and hopefully make it up to her for writing that stupid letter! I could kill myself for sending that to her. I'll never leave her, in life or in my heart. She is what I want, nothing more. I can be confident and happy for the rest of time with her. Alone things just don't have the same appeal. But everything, no matter how mundane it may seem, is never boring or tedious when with her. I am still in shock from seeing her.... I love her so, much.... (3) Comments

I screwed up... Posted 3/21/2007 7:33:24 AM A year went by and we saw each other a lot. Obviously not as much as I'd have liked, but I understood. I was cool with how often we could see each other. But she still felt guilty, which made me love her even more. Then things changed. Well, they'd been changing for a while, I guess I just didn't want to see it. She was becoming more distant. Not as amorous as we once had been. Not as physical. We'd been close over the year, very very close, but we never did...consumate the relationship. At most we had about 10 minutes together like that, barely anything, but enough to let me know the sweetness, the utter indescribable bliss that I was missing. Even now as I think back to that day... I am taken on a roller coaster of emotions. I want to smile, laugh , cry, hold her forever... all at once. I am happy from the joy I felt, sad from missing her, and empty knowing that someone else is knowing her that way. I want to cease to exist as the only way I know of to quelch the pain. It hurts so much, there is no deeper, worse or more humiliating pain. It's as if my heart is being dragged through a desert of broken glass underneath the hooves of a thousand wild horses. And that's just the tip of the "pain iceberg". (2) Comments

The torture never stops... Posted 3/20/2007 3:25:10 PM ...is not just an awesome song by Frank Zappa, it's how the next 12 months can be described. Now, I knew she was married, and that she could only give me time when she had it. I didn't expect her to change anything about her lifestyle for me at all. But she none-the-less felt guilty that she couldn't give me more time. I hated that she felt that way, I understood, it was ok. Over the next twelve months we spent a lot of time together. We got to know each other really well. She was, everything I'd looked for all my life. I got more and more emotionally involved as each day went by. Eventually I had to admit it, I loved her, more than life itself. I'd have sooner cut off my right arm as lose her. I knew that I cared more for her than her husband did,and I was sad everyday knowing she wasn't being treated as she should be. I tried to make her feel loved and supported. I understood when she had problems, I listened when she wanted a shoulder. I consoled her when she felt bad. I'd do anything for her. I still would. (1) Comments

The first meeting... Posted 3/20/2007 2:38:22 PM Ok, so she slept with my "friend" out in california. He made a point of telling me it was three times, twice during the night and once in the morning. I wanted to die. I really did. I couldn't believe that at 38 years old and 1800 miles from home, it was happening to me again. A woman chose someone close to me over me. I'm in shock at this point really, lol. I avoided both of them at the airport on the return trip. We get back home and he continues to see her. They meet during lunches and such, and he of course doesn't keep any of this from me. He thinks we're just buddy-buddy and wants to tell me about his "lunches" with her. Apparently rather sexual, these lunches, and like I wanted to hear about that. Over time though, she becomes upset with him for not paying her enough attention I guess. They are both married, what did she expect? I found the whole thing laughable. Then something I can't believe happens.... she emails me and asks if I am the guy she met in cali. I was shocked. And amazed, and ecstatic, and overwhelmed...lol. I emailed back that I was and we began emailing back and forth for a while. Eventually we met... for lunch, lol!! We met at a location midway between our two jobs. I joined her in her car, and we ate, and talked and got to know each other. I fell for her immediately. I knew there was something about her when I saw her in california. I was right. (1) Comments

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General Comments XxtinkaxX Posted 3/27/2007 7:55:45 AM thankz r u a lass or wat if ur a lad who da lass in ur pik XxtinkaxX Posted 3/23/2007 6:12:25 AM wot u sayin damn 4 xx Lazybones Posted 3/21/2007 4:10:32 PM Please login to post a comment.