I miss my fuzzy buddha

It has been over 24 hours and I left a person I truly care about standing there. I miss him. I want to hear his voice. I want him to know this. (0) Comments

Posted: 2/6/2007 10:22:04 PM

Distant Vision

I will Wait Because I want to see the inside of your soul Yes, the element of your existence that is hidden from the real world I will Wait To see the intensity that simmers right below the surface of your consciousness Yes, that electricity I fear, the light that singes my skepticism I will Wait I will search for the slightest crevice to creep inside and unearth your buried thoughts Yes, the grave you have formed around your secrets, I want to uncover I will Wait For you to allow me journey to where most are terrified to go Yes, the bold burst of life you keep all to yourself, I want to feel it I will Wait In hopes to slide down your masculine frame and blend within your atmosphere Yes, the intensity of your freedom, I want to experience it I will Wait To slowly walk down that forbidden passage way that leads to your future Yes, the uncertainty of your vision, I want to breathe sight into it I will Wait For the power of your strength to guide me through the complexity of your reflection Yes, an aphrodisiac in its simplest form, I want to desire it Yes… I will Wait (0) Comments

Posted: 1/6/2007 9:00:09 PM

Life of... That

Tiny arms wrapped around her 11 year old body, her eyes always down Her face holds the most precious smile, but look close - her eyes hold an eternal frown She hides within her mind, the only place she can find freedom From his silhouette filling the door frame, it is the only place he has yet to come The nightmare is written deep within her eyes, her lips whispering constant pleas She thinks that mommy hears her, eyes closed tight, she prays that mommy sees Shhhhhhhh – but we must not speak of THAT As everyone continues to smile, continues to live- she hoped that she could stand strong Stronger than any of them, those too weak to stand against what is oh so wrong Shhhhhhhh – but we must not speak of THAT That which has Her frail soul struggling to stay alive amongst her tears As she slowly drowns _____________________ Years pass and beauty has crept upon her overnight, no longer a lil girl The glow of a woman in bloom dances within her world Reflections of soft curves creates quiet excitement Changes in her body causes thoughts to intertwine with confusion Designing a world where her adolescence is surrounded with temptation Shhhhhhhh – but we must not speak of THAT Life continues on as if she is invisible, everyone unaware of her exploding curiosity Her spirit SCREAMS “Does anyone see these changes, does anyone SEE ME?” But yes… someone sees her And the attention finds her and she greedily embraces its fairy tale “I love you” was the key to unlock her gift as she searched for honest love to no avail Shhhhhhhh – but we must not speak of THAT That which has Her, only a child herself, creating life within her broken essence As it thrusts her into motherhood ______________________ A woman with age, a child hidden deep within her heart She yearns to share the passion within in her but knows not where to start “He loves me” is engraved in every crevice of her mind Although he stands with another, he tells her all he needs is time Clinging to that truth, no matter how clouded it may be In her mind, it is a very small price to pay for what she has dreamed to see She gladly accepts pieces of his day and splinters of his attention “He loves me” she whispers and besides, the other no longer shows him affection Shhhhhhhh – but we must not speak of THAT For knowledge of their love will surely ruin its beauty And make things more complicated than they truly need to be “He loves me” – for her, these words magically camouflage all the ugly signs Softens all the heartache and loneliness she feels, brings truth to all his lines Shhhhhhhh - but we must not speak of THAT That which has Her desperate for his conditional love As self worth trickles slowly down her cheek ____________________ The trickle did not stop her from chasing that dream she held to so tight She would not let him go… could not lose this fight And eventually… she won And as she laid crumpled on the floor, she felt that whatever she had done That it surely was something that was terrible and warranted this severe lesson Her left eye puffed up as she cried, the tears leaving a permanent sting on her heart But that was nothing compared to the loss she would face if they would ever part The sharp pain in her side where his shoe left a print, the broken glass on the floor The vicious words like sirens in her ears ‘you bitch’ - ‘you whore’ Shhhhhhhh – but we must not speak of THAT For he is such a good man, a good father in the public eye And really, her not coming home straight from work is the real reason why The bruises that she hides behind her beautiful clothes are forgotten When she sees him cry and whimper his apologies at the sight of what he has done They make sweet love to heal all the open wounds to try once again to become one Shhhhhhhh – but we must not speak of THAT That which has Her tears becoming meaningless and her soul sold For absolutely nothing… ____________________ Copyright © 2006 CarissaRex On the average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day (2) Comments

Posted: 12/19/2006 7:10:44 PM

Unchain My Heart

A deep breath held the answers that had been buried beneath all the untruths But my lungs, well, they were not willing to share the honesty just yet I was running out of questions, but had really never been given any answers The high of my pure and radiant emotion had intoxicated my rationale Constantly waking me each morning with a soul-aching hang over Pain stirring the need to hunt for a quick fix of his laughter Just a tiny dose of his breath tangled in my hair Just a hit of his lips, leaving tracks on my skin 10 minutes of his artificial affection Like a junkie I longed for the idealistic unlove of us & I chased the hallucination of passion that united us for 75 minutes Then left me hollow and crashing for the next 30,240 minutes Rehabilitation was my only option 30 days of detox to cleanse my essence of our poisonous connection what caused cold sweats, insane dreams and lonely days flowing into weeks Proved to be my savior Time had given me the chance to see through my eyes No longer was my vision channeled through his smile No longer was my pleasure misdirected through his fingertips The fog had cleared and my beauty was reflective of my own thoughts The butterflies fluttered from my own self worth The desire heavy in my soul seduced my pad with effervescent heartbeats of ink Rejoicing my love for me and a joy that I never knew would speak my language Because I am no longer lost, and I am no longer hungry my yearning for him, my aching for him Has become a silhouette, no longer a need. (2) Comments

Posted: 12/19/2006 1:14:45 PM