Bigcatdaddy
Finding pain is easy....when you've given into sin
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Explanations are lies being told
Tracks covered in fluorescent paint
Age: Not provided.
Age: Not provided.
Gender: M
Location: Slap dab in the middle
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August, 2008
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Gloom and doom yada, yada, yada
Posted 8/28/2008 6:31:01 PM
I'm doomed to fail at my latest endeavor
I cannot help but sabotage myself I'm sure
I do that all the time...
I want things to go well, but succumb to failure
things pardoned relived
things seen not forgotten
things read, seered into memory
I cling to fading hope
Shadows grow longer by the day
There's no room for me in her life
I know it, I just don't think she does
Posted 8/28/2008 6:31:01 PM
I'm doomed to fail at my latest endeavor
I cannot help but sabotage myself I'm sure
I do that all the time...
I want things to go well, but succumb to failure
things pardoned relived
things seen not forgotten
things read, seered into memory
I cling to fading hope
Shadows grow longer by the day
There's no room for me in her life
I know it, I just don't think she does
Red eye morning
Posted 8/9/2008 9:33:46 PM
It's a red eye morning
Blue, sad and dark
Disoriented by mixed emotions
The tainting of love's spark
It's hard to know right and wrong
A lie from what is true
Regardless of the your perspective
The pain is nothing new
I've lost the greatest love of my life
Lost a long time friend as well
Stuck here in the moment
Caged in private hell
The pendulum's swing is massive
From point A to where we are
My heart bears the marking
Of a newly added scar
Cracked once before by another
Reopened again by you
All the love that I had give
Again it wouldn't do
Posted 8/9/2008 9:33:46 PM
It's a red eye morning
Blue, sad and dark
Disoriented by mixed emotions
The tainting of love's spark
It's hard to know right and wrong
A lie from what is true
Regardless of the your perspective
The pain is nothing new
I've lost the greatest love of my life
Lost a long time friend as well
Stuck here in the moment
Caged in private hell
The pendulum's swing is massive
From point A to where we are
My heart bears the marking
Of a newly added scar
Cracked once before by another
Reopened again by you
All the love that I had give
Again it wouldn't do
My broken heart
Posted 8/9/2008 9:32:28 PM
My broken heart feels
The pain of loving you
My broken heart knows
Of a love that was untrue
My broken heart aches
More and more each day
My broken heart bears
The scars of that fateful day
My broken heart seeks
A final remedy
My broken heart cries
Alone inside of me
Posted 8/9/2008 9:32:28 PM
My broken heart feels
The pain of loving you
My broken heart knows
Of a love that was untrue
My broken heart aches
More and more each day
My broken heart bears
The scars of that fateful day
My broken heart seeks
A final remedy
My broken heart cries
Alone inside of me
Relief in the dark
Posted 8/9/2008 9:31:22 PM
Relief lays three but feet away
As I lay here in the dark
Breaking hearts but easing mine
Offering both a finish and a start
I'm drawn to the relief
While dreading its affect
Suffering from offering love
To one who did reject
Serving as a beginning and end
Tears and peace both serve
I'm tired and weary of my life
Wishing I had the nerve
Embarrassed by my foolishness
Trading peace for a moment in the sun
Contemplating a selfish act
And reaching for my gun
Relief is but a moment away
As I lay here in the dark
Posted 8/9/2008 9:31:22 PM
Relief lays three but feet away
As I lay here in the dark
Breaking hearts but easing mine
Offering both a finish and a start
I'm drawn to the relief
While dreading its affect
Suffering from offering love
To one who did reject
Serving as a beginning and end
Tears and peace both serve
I'm tired and weary of my life
Wishing I had the nerve
Embarrassed by my foolishness
Trading peace for a moment in the sun
Contemplating a selfish act
And reaching for my gun
Relief is but a moment away
As I lay here in the dark
It just happened
Posted 8/9/2008 9:30:11 PM
It just happened
An easy excuse to make
A matter of convenience
A destiny none can escape
I feel I supported you
I've looked for what I did do
I believed in the words you told me
Then you told them to another too
I feel so completely foolish
I don't want to feel sad
Why can't I explode?
Why am I not mad?
It's strange that tears haven't fallen
I really don't know why
Not a one has been shed
Yet all I want is to cry
The only thing I feel is pain
It overshadows all
Hurt so overwhelming
I beckon the hammer's fall
Posted 8/9/2008 9:30:11 PM
It just happened
An easy excuse to make
A matter of convenience
A destiny none can escape
I feel I supported you
I've looked for what I did do
I believed in the words you told me
Then you told them to another too
I feel so completely foolish
I don't want to feel sad
Why can't I explode?
Why am I not mad?
It's strange that tears haven't fallen
I really don't know why
Not a one has been shed
Yet all I want is to cry
The only thing I feel is pain
It overshadows all
Hurt so overwhelming
I beckon the hammer's fall
I thought I knew you
Posted 8/9/2008 9:28:48 PM
I thought I knew you
What did I really know?
I thought I could trust you
How could I have known
I believed in us
How silly of me to think
Posted 8/9/2008 9:28:48 PM
I thought I knew you
What did I really know?
I thought I could trust you
How could I have known
I believed in us
How silly of me to think
Secret solitue
Posted 8/9/2008 9:27:51 PM
Trapped by cage of secret solitude
I'm drowning from tears that won't flow
Barbs of reality anchor in my heart
Pinning love's price on my soul
I wish I had someone to talk to
Someone to ease my pain
Holding my sorrow closely
Long for a peace I can't regain
Posted 8/9/2008 9:27:51 PM
Trapped by cage of secret solitude
I'm drowning from tears that won't flow
Barbs of reality anchor in my heart
Pinning love's price on my soul
I wish I had someone to talk to
Someone to ease my pain
Holding my sorrow closely
Long for a peace I can't regain
Another lonely day
Posted 8/9/2008 9:25:49 PM
I'm drowning in tears that won't flow
Weighed down the sorrow of knowledge
I struggle to cope with the reality
In discovery of love's broken pledge
The pain consumes my all
No respite and no reprieve
For loving and trusting another
Who needed more than me
My love falls short yet again
The price of sin comes due
Can I overcome the pain
If I walk away from you
Sin collects its toll
Leaves me reeling in its wake
Wanting just to die
Leaving my soul to take
Posted 8/9/2008 9:25:49 PM
I'm drowning in tears that won't flow
Weighed down the sorrow of knowledge
I struggle to cope with the reality
In discovery of love's broken pledge
The pain consumes my all
No respite and no reprieve
For loving and trusting another
Who needed more than me
My love falls short yet again
The price of sin comes due
Can I overcome the pain
If I walk away from you
Sin collects its toll
Leaves me reeling in its wake
Wanting just to die
Leaving my soul to take
Enough just wasn’t enough
Posted 7/19/2008 2:44:23 PM
All the love I could give just wasn’t enough for you
I thought of that line while working today.
Doing busywork to occupy my time
The more I thought of it
The more it gave me peace of mind
The honesty of it rings so true
My love simply wouldn’t do
There’s peace in knowing I gave it my all
My love I shared with you
In the book of our life together
The chapter is nearly two decades long
The final verse ended abruptly
But we’ll both still carry on
We each had a life before
We’ll each have one after too
But I’ll always wish the love I gave
Would have been enough for you.
Posted 7/19/2008 2:44:23 PM
All the love I could give just wasn’t enough for you
I thought of that line while working today.
Doing busywork to occupy my time
The more I thought of it
The more it gave me peace of mind
The honesty of it rings so true
My love simply wouldn’t do
There’s peace in knowing I gave it my all
My love I shared with you
In the book of our life together
The chapter is nearly two decades long
The final verse ended abruptly
But we’ll both still carry on
We each had a life before
We’ll each have one after too
But I’ll always wish the love I gave
Would have been enough for you.
Grieving in silence
Posted 7/18/2008 5:55:06 PM
A broken heart it hides
In my adulterer's chest
Beating off tempo under the strain of enlightenment
The veils of trust shattered
By innocent curiosity
Deserving am I? Yes. Spared am I? No.
No solace to be had
For a love wrong from the start
Sympathetic ears will never hear my tears
No one will weep for me
For the pain that I feel
My journey here has not been one taken blindly
I mistakenly trusted
One perhaps like I
And she broke my heart like only I could let her
Posted 7/18/2008 5:55:06 PM
A broken heart it hides
In my adulterer's chest
Beating off tempo under the strain of enlightenment
The veils of trust shattered
By innocent curiosity
Deserving am I? Yes. Spared am I? No.
No solace to be had
For a love wrong from the start
Sympathetic ears will never hear my tears
No one will weep for me
For the pain that I feel
My journey here has not been one taken blindly
I mistakenly trusted
One perhaps like I
And she broke my heart like only I could let her
Long night averted
Posted 7/18/2008 5:52:18 PM
Drugs defer the pain inevitable
They dull my senses for now
I’ve not shed a tear on the outside
But cried a river within
I can’t cry. Because the tears can’t be explained
My insides crumble within my hardened fascade
Flashbacks fill my head
From a time long ago
The situation eerily similar
But more at stake back then
The heart knows no difference
It only knows there’s pain
Pain is pain it only knows to hurt
Trusting makes the heart a big target
I exposed my heart to you
And was wounded once again
Posted 7/18/2008 5:52:18 PM
Drugs defer the pain inevitable
They dull my senses for now
I’ve not shed a tear on the outside
But cried a river within
I can’t cry. Because the tears can’t be explained
My insides crumble within my hardened fascade
Flashbacks fill my head
From a time long ago
The situation eerily similar
But more at stake back then
The heart knows no difference
It only knows there’s pain
Pain is pain it only knows to hurt
Trusting makes the heart a big target
I exposed my heart to you
And was wounded once again
This addiction
Posted 7/18/2008 5:49:21 PM
This addiction
I’m addicted to the abuse
Over and over again I submit
Each line stabs me deeper
Adding to my well-scared heart
Familiar phrases cut deep
When once they brought joy
Words carve out my epitaph
Here lies the biggest fool yet
I offered my heart on the block
And met reality’s cold steel
Posted 7/18/2008 5:49:21 PM
This addiction
I’m addicted to the abuse
Over and over again I submit
Each line stabs me deeper
Adding to my well-scared heart
Familiar phrases cut deep
When once they brought joy
Words carve out my epitaph
Here lies the biggest fool yet
I offered my heart on the block
And met reality’s cold steel
The hammers' fall
Posted 7/3/2008 2:00:58 PM
The inspiration falls silent
As summer days grow long
Distance greater yet to become
An obstacle of greed brings shame
Hope, prosperity and freedom
Will they include a barnacle such as I?
Or am I destined to be shed
Like water from Molly's coat
In riddled prose consumed
Rest not for racing mind
Lost in apprehentioned gaze
awaiting the hammers' fall
Deservedly so I concur
Heavily burdened to be sure
Posted 7/3/2008 2:00:58 PM
The inspiration falls silent
As summer days grow long
Distance greater yet to become
An obstacle of greed brings shame
Hope, prosperity and freedom
Will they include a barnacle such as I?
Or am I destined to be shed
Like water from Molly's coat
In riddled prose consumed
Rest not for racing mind
Lost in apprehentioned gaze
awaiting the hammers' fall
Deservedly so I concur
Heavily burdened to be sure
Poetry: A never to take journey
Posted 3/7/2007 2:46:30 PM
A never to take journey
Traversed only in my mind
Of you and me together
What adventures we would find
Roaming the world
Love and laughter in tow
Sleeping beneath the stars
The heavens would be our show
Sharing sunrises and sunsets
Huddled by your side
Lost in the isolation
A love no more to hide
Mountain streams and lakes
Ours alone to share
Going when we want
And wherever we may dare
See the sunrise in Maine
Then watch it set in Kauai
Hop the borders we know
And visit the other side
Walking the Black Forrest
Kissing at the Pyramids base
Dancing a jig in Dublin
The smile on your face
This journey is just a dream
One that won’t come true
It makes me happy just knowing
That you share this dream too
Posted 3/7/2007 2:46:30 PM
A never to take journey
Traversed only in my mind
Of you and me together
What adventures we would find
Roaming the world
Love and laughter in tow
Sleeping beneath the stars
The heavens would be our show
Sharing sunrises and sunsets
Huddled by your side
Lost in the isolation
A love no more to hide
Mountain streams and lakes
Ours alone to share
Going when we want
And wherever we may dare
See the sunrise in Maine
Then watch it set in Kauai
Hop the borders we know
And visit the other side
Walking the Black Forrest
Kissing at the Pyramids base
Dancing a jig in Dublin
The smile on your face
This journey is just a dream
One that won’t come true
It makes me happy just knowing
That you share this dream too
Poetry: Deliverance
Posted 3/7/2007 1:40:52 PM
Cold steel bars of reality
Block my window of hope
In a southern comfort haze
I struggle daily just to cope
Life without you near
Is becoming too routine
I live a silent dazed existence
In secret seclusion I scream
Throughout the night I awaken
Dawning thoughts always of you
The warmth of your memory
Serve as a pathway to feeling blue
You are never here
And I’m never there
My confidence stripped away
My soul is made bare
I grow more weary with each dawn
The sun is no longer my friend
I struggle just to start the day
Becoming eager to find an end
Perhaps I should walk away
Devise a departure plan
Escape from the walls I’ve built
Do I really think I can?
In a painted corner I sit
For my sins I must atone
Trapped in the reality
Of my future all alone
Selfish thoughts are many
Solutions I could try
All would hurt others
But allow my tears to dry
Let the hammer drop
And free me from this place
My pain left for others
And complete my fall from grace
Posted 3/7/2007 1:40:52 PM
Cold steel bars of reality
Block my window of hope
In a southern comfort haze
I struggle daily just to cope
Life without you near
Is becoming too routine
I live a silent dazed existence
In secret seclusion I scream
Throughout the night I awaken
Dawning thoughts always of you
The warmth of your memory
Serve as a pathway to feeling blue
You are never here
And I’m never there
My confidence stripped away
My soul is made bare
I grow more weary with each dawn
The sun is no longer my friend
I struggle just to start the day
Becoming eager to find an end
Perhaps I should walk away
Devise a departure plan
Escape from the walls I’ve built
Do I really think I can?
In a painted corner I sit
For my sins I must atone
Trapped in the reality
Of my future all alone
Selfish thoughts are many
Solutions I could try
All would hurt others
But allow my tears to dry
Let the hammer drop
And free me from this place
My pain left for others
And complete my fall from grace
Poetry: Music of home
Posted 3/7/2007 9:45:09 AM
Sweet harmony rings out
As the pick brushes the strings
The echoes of the mountain
Reverberate and as they ring
Melodic sounds fill the room
Wave after resounding wave
It reminds me of the hills I love
And the land for which I rave
Hauntingly simple
And elegantly true
Notes ring out loud
Their voice fills the room
Call it folk, celtic or bluegrass
The dulcimer rings clear
Providing the sounds of home
In a voice that I hold dear
As my hand strums the strings
The mountains rise and sing
It echoes through the hollers
Oh the joy they bring
No matter where I am
Or the distance that I roam
I shut my eyes and listen
And the sound takes me home
Posted 3/7/2007 9:45:09 AM
Sweet harmony rings out
As the pick brushes the strings
The echoes of the mountain
Reverberate and as they ring
Melodic sounds fill the room
Wave after resounding wave
It reminds me of the hills I love
And the land for which I rave
Hauntingly simple
And elegantly true
Notes ring out loud
Their voice fills the room
Call it folk, celtic or bluegrass
The dulcimer rings clear
Providing the sounds of home
In a voice that I hold dear
As my hand strums the strings
The mountains rise and sing
It echoes through the hollers
Oh the joy they bring
No matter where I am
Or the distance that I roam
I shut my eyes and listen
And the sound takes me home
Poetry: Do you?
Posted 3/3/2007 8:16:22 PM
Do you feel the pain I feel
Deep within your heart
Is the aching constant
Whenever we’re apart
Do you feel like crying
When a day goes by
If you cannot see me
Is the day one big sigh
Are you lost without me
Do you reach out in the night
Does the loneliness begin
When I pull from your sight
I hope for your sake
That it’s not the same
While I hope you miss me
But I never wish you pain
Posted 3/3/2007 8:16:22 PM
Do you feel the pain I feel
Deep within your heart
Is the aching constant
Whenever we’re apart
Do you feel like crying
When a day goes by
If you cannot see me
Is the day one big sigh
Are you lost without me
Do you reach out in the night
Does the loneliness begin
When I pull from your sight
I hope for your sake
That it’s not the same
While I hope you miss me
But I never wish you pain
Poetry: Poet's pen
Posted 2/28/2007 4:38:25 PM
It’s always in the night
When lonely justice claims its fare
I toss and turn a sinner’s rest
Lost without you there
Reality is so hard to bear
When the outcome is not desired
The prospect of my future
Leaves my soul tangled and mired
I cultivate my own despair
Nurturing it from the seed
I preen and pamper its growth
Harvest the torment at full speed
Crying doesn’t ease the pain
Memories rise now and then
Unspoken secrets of solitude
Serve to fill my poet’s pen
Posted 2/28/2007 4:38:25 PM
It’s always in the night
When lonely justice claims its fare
I toss and turn a sinner’s rest
Lost without you there
Reality is so hard to bear
When the outcome is not desired
The prospect of my future
Leaves my soul tangled and mired
I cultivate my own despair
Nurturing it from the seed
I preen and pamper its growth
Harvest the torment at full speed
Crying doesn’t ease the pain
Memories rise now and then
Unspoken secrets of solitude
Serve to fill my poet’s pen
Poetry: Loneliness won't leave me alone
Posted 2/23/2007 12:27:07 PM
A fog of funk envelopes me
Like quicksand drawing down
There’s no way to escape
In a guilty pool of desire I drown
Coping with the separation
Strains heavy on my heart
Fate acts as a cruel barricade
Determined to keep us apart
Deeper and darker I sink
Surrender enters my mind
Succumbing to the reality
How can I be so blind?
Loneliness won’t leave me alone
It presses down on my chest
Depression clings tight
I know what solution is best
Bad deeds and good intentions
Leave my conscience to dwell
Love is a double edged sword
Cutting memories we can never tell
The embellishment of hope
Whittled to a splinter
Cast in secret seclusion
A relationship we dared to enter
Posted 2/23/2007 12:27:07 PM
A fog of funk envelopes me
Like quicksand drawing down
There’s no way to escape
In a guilty pool of desire I drown
Coping with the separation
Strains heavy on my heart
Fate acts as a cruel barricade
Determined to keep us apart
Deeper and darker I sink
Surrender enters my mind
Succumbing to the reality
How can I be so blind?
Loneliness won’t leave me alone
It presses down on my chest
Depression clings tight
I know what solution is best
Bad deeds and good intentions
Leave my conscience to dwell
Love is a double edged sword
Cutting memories we can never tell
The embellishment of hope
Whittled to a splinter
Cast in secret seclusion
A relationship we dared to enter
Poetry: Sober reality
Posted 2/22/2007 9:00:48 PM
Forever ago it seems its been
Since I held you close to me
I long to feel your skin to mine
And to kiss you tenderly
My arms feel so useless
Without you to hold tight
My memories reach out to you
When the sun gives way to night
Cold sheets and empty space
Remind me of where you’re not
Reality uncovers my dreams
Reminds me of what I’m not
I’m not the one who sees you
When you rise to meet the day
I’m the one who cries alone
Wishing for a different fate
Alcohol masks my pain
One shot at a time
Sober reality awaits
Of love not really mine
Posted 2/22/2007 9:00:48 PM
Forever ago it seems its been
Since I held you close to me
I long to feel your skin to mine
And to kiss you tenderly
My arms feel so useless
Without you to hold tight
My memories reach out to you
When the sun gives way to night
Cold sheets and empty space
Remind me of where you’re not
Reality uncovers my dreams
Reminds me of what I’m not
I’m not the one who sees you
When you rise to meet the day
I’m the one who cries alone
Wishing for a different fate
Alcohol masks my pain
One shot at a time
Sober reality awaits
Of love not really mine
Poetry: Image 046
Posted 2/7/2007 10:02:43 AM
It makes me anxious
This photograph of you
It traps my imagination
I'm captivated by the view
Shadow and light balance
Perfectly on your skin
The outline of your lips
The lone freckle on your chin
The contrast of my cotton shirt
Laying soft against your chest
It’s the confidence you exude
That makes me like this best
Eyes soft, dark and brown
I get lost in their depth
Even now when I look
You steal my very breath
Your smile draws me to you
With lips so soft and sweet
I count the hours until once more
Your’s and mine can meet
Photographs and images
I replay them now and then
They fill the waiting hours
Until I hold you again
How long will it be my love?
Before I hold you tight
How long must I wait this time?
Before my world seems right
Posted 2/7/2007 10:02:43 AM
It makes me anxious
This photograph of you
It traps my imagination
I'm captivated by the view
Shadow and light balance
Perfectly on your skin
The outline of your lips
The lone freckle on your chin
The contrast of my cotton shirt
Laying soft against your chest
It’s the confidence you exude
That makes me like this best
Eyes soft, dark and brown
I get lost in their depth
Even now when I look
You steal my very breath
Your smile draws me to you
With lips so soft and sweet
I count the hours until once more
Your’s and mine can meet
Photographs and images
I replay them now and then
They fill the waiting hours
Until I hold you again
How long will it be my love?
Before I hold you tight
How long must I wait this time?
Before my world seems right
Poetry: Separation anxiety
Posted 2/6/2007 2:24:53 PM
Silvery slivers of hope
Pierce the pitch of night
The promise of a new day
Comes with dawning light
February air is bitter
In this morning of despair
I look for peeking stars
Wishing to find you there
The crunch of frozen snow
Sounds as I make my way
Step by echoing step
Headlong into the day
A half hour of reflection
As I make my way along
Thoughts of you travel with me
Yet I feel so all alone
Solemn thoughts fill my mind
White lines flash in a blur
Oblivious to my morning trek
My mind is focused on her
Day breaks on heartache
Another day without her near
Lost in separation
Our future so unclear
Day after repeating day
I trudge ahead in stride
Bearing the sting of loneliness
And feelings I must hide
Posted 2/6/2007 2:24:53 PM
Silvery slivers of hope
Pierce the pitch of night
The promise of a new day
Comes with dawning light
February air is bitter
In this morning of despair
I look for peeking stars
Wishing to find you there
The crunch of frozen snow
Sounds as I make my way
Step by echoing step
Headlong into the day
A half hour of reflection
As I make my way along
Thoughts of you travel with me
Yet I feel so all alone
Solemn thoughts fill my mind
White lines flash in a blur
Oblivious to my morning trek
My mind is focused on her
Day breaks on heartache
Another day without her near
Lost in separation
Our future so unclear
Day after repeating day
I trudge ahead in stride
Bearing the sting of loneliness
And feelings I must hide
Poetry: Waning inspiration
Posted 2/5/2007 6:57:30 PM
My inspiration wanes
In the absence of her touch
I feel far removed
Fearing our future so much
Only days it has been
Though it seems much more
Since I’ve held my love
I wonder what’s in store
Hours I spend staring
At photographs of her
The void still exists
Anxiety will not defer
Teetering on the edge
One stumble and I fall
Waiting for reality to shove me
My heart is against the wall
Patience is a fickle trait
One I don’t bear true
Demons rise up inside me
I fear I’m losing you
Cries go unanswered
In the canyons of my soul
Dread clouds my judgment
My sins left to atoll
Dangling on a rope of despair
Swaying from side to side
Clinging to the promise
Of love that we must hide
Posted 2/5/2007 6:57:30 PM
My inspiration wanes
In the absence of her touch
I feel far removed
Fearing our future so much
Only days it has been
Though it seems much more
Since I’ve held my love
I wonder what’s in store
Hours I spend staring
At photographs of her
The void still exists
Anxiety will not defer
Teetering on the edge
One stumble and I fall
Waiting for reality to shove me
My heart is against the wall
Patience is a fickle trait
One I don’t bear true
Demons rise up inside me
I fear I’m losing you
Cries go unanswered
In the canyons of my soul
Dread clouds my judgment
My sins left to atoll
Dangling on a rope of despair
Swaying from side to side
Clinging to the promise
Of love that we must hide
Poetry: Reflections from within
Posted 1/27/2007 8:00:52 AM
Her soft brown eyes tell half-truths
Giving a glimpse but not complete
There’s protective power in her unknown
And of what she lets me see
Soft light reflects sadness
Suggesting hidden pain
Her gaze draws me near
It pushes me away just the same
The mysterious truth that lives
Behind her melancholy eyes
Captivates my thoughts
In ways she’d never surmise
For years now I have spent
Trying to solve her mystery
Hoping to prove myself
So she’d share her soul with me
What were the thoughts and dreams
That you had so many years ago
And what brought you to now
And made you afraid to let them show
Someday it will hit me
And then I will finally see
Your secrets are just yours
They aren’t meant for me
Posted 1/27/2007 8:00:52 AM
Her soft brown eyes tell half-truths
Giving a glimpse but not complete
There’s protective power in her unknown
And of what she lets me see
Soft light reflects sadness
Suggesting hidden pain
Her gaze draws me near
It pushes me away just the same
The mysterious truth that lives
Behind her melancholy eyes
Captivates my thoughts
In ways she’d never surmise
For years now I have spent
Trying to solve her mystery
Hoping to prove myself
So she’d share her soul with me
What were the thoughts and dreams
That you had so many years ago
And what brought you to now
And made you afraid to let them show
Someday it will hit me
And then I will finally see
Your secrets are just yours
They aren’t meant for me
Poetry: Lamenting discovery
Posted 1/25/2007 9:20:37 AM
Ominous clouds of discovery
Gather at the horizon line
Blocking the dawn of love
There are whispers in the pines
The rays of enlightenment
Race to illuminate our sin
Casting shadows of anxiety
It's only a matter of when
Dancing in the sunlight
Feeling the warmth from above
Never suspecting so quickly
The discovery of hidden love
Haunting realizations appear
Of hurting those innocents
Filling consciences with dread
Learned actions left to lament
Still further yet I fear
Totaling what be the cost
Worried about her now
And if her love I’ve lost
There is no denying the anxiety
That is building from within
Spreading pain will be easy
When others learn my sin
Posted 1/25/2007 9:20:37 AM
Ominous clouds of discovery
Gather at the horizon line
Blocking the dawn of love
There are whispers in the pines
The rays of enlightenment
Race to illuminate our sin
Casting shadows of anxiety
It's only a matter of when
Dancing in the sunlight
Feeling the warmth from above
Never suspecting so quickly
The discovery of hidden love
Haunting realizations appear
Of hurting those innocents
Filling consciences with dread
Learned actions left to lament
Still further yet I fear
Totaling what be the cost
Worried about her now
And if her love I’ve lost
There is no denying the anxiety
That is building from within
Spreading pain will be easy
When others learn my sin
Poetry: Capturing the moment
Posted 1/24/2007 2:43:01 PM
Frosty windows frame the world outside
A barricade against the cold
Under a blanket of relaxation
New levels of intimacy unfold
My focus falls upon her smile
Her trust and faith in me
The moments captured are priceless
As are the memories
Light cascades through open blinds
Landing softly upon her face
Tanned and toned she poses
A marvel of beauty and grace
Nervousness works both ways
For both she and I
It’s her soul that’s bared
Before my very eyes
The trust she has placed in me
A valued gift worth holding near
One I will cherish forever
From a love that I hold dear
Posted 1/24/2007 2:43:01 PM
Frosty windows frame the world outside
A barricade against the cold
Under a blanket of relaxation
New levels of intimacy unfold
My focus falls upon her smile
Her trust and faith in me
The moments captured are priceless
As are the memories
Light cascades through open blinds
Landing softly upon her face
Tanned and toned she poses
A marvel of beauty and grace
Nervousness works both ways
For both she and I
It’s her soul that’s bared
Before my very eyes
The trust she has placed in me
A valued gift worth holding near
One I will cherish forever
From a love that I hold dear
Poetry: A busy secluded street
Posted 1/14/2007 9:13:28 AM
There within fogged windows we sit
Away for the world and passers by
Alone on a busier than it ought to be street
Trying to escape the world outside
Nervous anxiety both rises and falls
As each car approaches and departs
Hidden inside a cocoon of steel
Respite comes to wayward hearts
I tremble in mock acceptance
Of the limitations that are at hand
Struggling to define this moment
In ways the world would understand
With twisted tongue and racing heart
I stumble over repetitive phrase
Hoping to describe her beauty
As it falls under my attentive gaze
Enchanting and captivating she is
A radiant aura encompasses her complete
Spellbound and awestruck I sit
Across from her in damned bucket seats
Her lips form an alluring smile
Deceivingly ornery and baitingly sly
Brightening the darkest of my days
Always drawing me to her side
As the tick of time closes in on us
And fateful departure looms near
The pains of separation start early
Even though she’s still right here
Thus it is this secret life of mine
Holding onto a love so discreet
Sharing the moment in borrowed time
On a busier than it ought to be street
Posted 1/14/2007 9:13:28 AM
There within fogged windows we sit
Away for the world and passers by
Alone on a busier than it ought to be street
Trying to escape the world outside
Nervous anxiety both rises and falls
As each car approaches and departs
Hidden inside a cocoon of steel
Respite comes to wayward hearts
I tremble in mock acceptance
Of the limitations that are at hand
Struggling to define this moment
In ways the world would understand
With twisted tongue and racing heart
I stumble over repetitive phrase
Hoping to describe her beauty
As it falls under my attentive gaze
Enchanting and captivating she is
A radiant aura encompasses her complete
Spellbound and awestruck I sit
Across from her in damned bucket seats
Her lips form an alluring smile
Deceivingly ornery and baitingly sly
Brightening the darkest of my days
Always drawing me to her side
As the tick of time closes in on us
And fateful departure looms near
The pains of separation start early
Even though she’s still right here
Thus it is this secret life of mine
Holding onto a love so discreet
Sharing the moment in borrowed time
On a busier than it ought to be street
Poetry: Alone again and lost
Posted 1/12/2007 5:45:01 PM
Alone again and lost
Returning to emptiness
My prison is familiar
I’m failing all life’s tests
Fate slices the wrist of hope
My blood trickles unseen
My flesh appears unscathed
No one can hear me scream
I’m always alone
Even with company
The light never shines
And illuminates the real me
Trapped by the darkness
Emotions battered and tossed
Here I am once more
Alone again and lost
Posted 1/12/2007 5:45:01 PM
Alone again and lost
Returning to emptiness
My prison is familiar
I’m failing all life’s tests
Fate slices the wrist of hope
My blood trickles unseen
My flesh appears unscathed
No one can hear me scream
I’m always alone
Even with company
The light never shines
And illuminates the real me
Trapped by the darkness
Emotions battered and tossed
Here I am once more
Alone again and lost
Poetry: Cold rain
Posted 1/5/2007 5:25:51 PM
Cold January rain falls
On the shoulders of hope
Dampness chills a broken heart
My mind seeks ways to cope
Drops splash on the glass
Exploding before my eyes
Hope trickles downward
Can anyone hear my cries?
Rivers swell under falling rain
Rushing their way to the sea
My tears form a river as well
Running down my cheek
Awash in the steady rain
I shiver here all alone
Cold, lonely and deserving
Of this sadness that I own
Posted 1/5/2007 5:25:51 PM
Cold January rain falls
On the shoulders of hope
Dampness chills a broken heart
My mind seeks ways to cope
Drops splash on the glass
Exploding before my eyes
Hope trickles downward
Can anyone hear my cries?
Rivers swell under falling rain
Rushing their way to the sea
My tears form a river as well
Running down my cheek
Awash in the steady rain
I shiver here all alone
Cold, lonely and deserving
Of this sadness that I own
FeedBack
cheric
8/29/2008 10:40:01 AM
Hey~ found you! finally! (sorry, long story, but I'm back and trying to reconnect with all my friends). Inviting you to my friend list and I hope you could accept me? Thanks!
Janis
8/28/2008 6:14:09 PM
Are you coming to the big newblog party on Brian's page? It is that 1st hot blog. A newblog tradition.
magicalmysterytour
8/23/2008 8:19:06 AM
I say the same thing as Janis. Welcome to newblog
Janis
8/21/2008 1:14:11 PM
You are new to me so welcome to newblog!
8/29/2008 10:40:01 AM
Hey~ found you! finally! (sorry, long story, but I'm back and trying to reconnect with all my friends). Inviting you to my friend list and I hope you could accept me? Thanks!
Janis
8/28/2008 6:14:09 PM
Are you coming to the big newblog party on Brian's page? It is that 1st hot blog. A newblog tradition.
magicalmysterytour
8/23/2008 8:19:06 AM
I say the same thing as Janis. Welcome to newblog
Janis
8/21/2008 1:14:11 PM
You are new to me so welcome to newblog!
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