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Writing Addiction Posted 11/13/2006 4:45:24 PM It's 3am and I am here writng a blog. Yup, I am up in the wee morning hours writing this. You want to know why? Well, I have been a bad little writer lately. I haven't written a short or even plotted out a short for a good week maybe two. Slap my hand, I have been naughty. That isn't even the complete reason why I can't get to sleep. I can't get to sleep because I keep getting withdrawel symptoms. I will be doing my dishes, going to the nurse practitioners, sitting on the bus, or even washing my floors and there it is, the need to create a new kind of beastie for a story. The worst part of that is that I am too busy with prior commitments to sit down at the computer and give a really tantalizing idea the attention it deserves. I swear, I am trying my hardest not to write a short right now because I am tired enough to fuck up but not tired enough to sleep. So I read and even that can't get the attention needed. I am addicted to the creative process, as I am sure, most writers are. When I was a kid I would scare my friends, my oldest friend the most. She was scared of Ghostbusters. Yes, Ghostbusters scared the piss out of her if you can believe that. I don't know about you but I really thought Slimer was funny but to her he might as well have been the Devil himself, come to take her soul and nibble on its essence...lol. ( I have never let go of her fear of Slimer as you can see, it's just too funny, poor her...lol.) Just scaring anyone is just so damn exciting. I get a kick out seeing someone enjoy the read. That's the gateway drug for writers, the first person who reads their stuff and enjoys it, really enjoys it. You just can't get enough of seeing them laugh at all the right parts or hate the asshole character you created. That is where I am. I need my fix of writing a great horror story, that is, if anything I write is any good at all. I myself am skeptical of my work but that doesn't stop me. Even when I fuck up, I just love tweeking it, fixing it, re-writing it. (Good Lord, where's my fix?!?!) So here I am, at what is now 3:26am, writing a blog in hopes it will tide me by until I can sit down and write about the next yellow eyed, rotted fanged, slithery, amphibious creature to reach up and grab the unsuspecting sleeper in their bed. ( Wow, see? I really do have it bad.) When I do get to sleep I will hopefully dream up a nightmare interesting enough to inspire a new idea.(Did I tell you, I have nightmares more than dreams? It may sound strange but I do love it. I really am a horror enthusiast...also a spell checker enthusiast because I am sure that I have mispelled a few words here and there...lol) Well, here I am at the end of this blog and not satisfied enough to temper my addiction. It's like eating tofu when what you really want is a nice, bloody, T-bone steak. I just hope you found this amusing or entertaining at least because my husband sure isn't finding it so. Poor fellow is getting tired of me going on about it, he has taken to changing the subject with things like "The weather is nice today" and "I noticed two beavers in the pond today" when I already knew about them, he told me that two months ago. Lets just hope, at least for his sake, I get a chance to truly concentrate on killing some unsuspecting ficticious character who was just trying to take a piss or read the funnies. Till then, my reading, little pissant character, till then...then you are toast. ( there would be a little devil with an evil grin here but that is not available in these blogs so you are just going to have to picture it I guess...lol) (0) Comments

More, in the spirit of Halloween Posted 10/30/2006 11:59:17 PM Something happened to me in one of the places I lived in. The place couldn't be more perfect for a horror writer. The bloody place had a graveyard just behind the backyard fence. No joke, it really did. The only window able to see it was the office window, which I was thankful for. I don't think my kid would have liked to look at that...lol. To make matters worse, the garden was flush against that fence. I wasn't stupid enough to think I might run into a coffin or anything but just the thought of my tomatoes thriving so well off of the remains of Hank Johnston... yuck! Anyways, I read at night. I can't sleep without it. My husband would go to bed early( a side effect of being 55 he he he) and I would read one of the many horror novels I have. Well, for nights I would be reading and my lights would flicker on and off. They wouldn't just flicker, they would turn off completely for ten minutes at a time sometimes. I would just wait for it to stop and go on reading. I told my dad about it and he said that there might be an electrical problem. So I tell the landlord and she gets an electrician to look at it and he finds nothing. The lights kept flickering and I would be up late at night wondering, Am I turning into a nutbar? Sometime later, I had been looking around and found out about the whole mirror superstition as I have mentioned in the first Halloween blog. I had mentioned it to my husband because we were wondering why the previous tenants had left behind all the mirrors.( I just thought it was funny, that's all.) We ended up having a conversation about spirits and near the end I told him that I would personally love to have an experience if such things did exist. (I will tell you now, I don't scare easily. About the only thing that scares me is my credit card bill, that's it.) Later on that night I fell asleep on the couch and woke up paralized but still asleep, if that makes any sense to anyone. I was aware but unable to open my eyes and I could feel a presence in the room. The presence had come close to me and whispered into my ear "We are omniscient." I lay there paralyzed and filled with a sense of terror I had never before felt in my life. Eventually the feeling of a presence disappeared and I fell back asleep. Now, I am not saying that the whole experience was a supernatural. I beleive that I had a horrible nightmare and that is all. Everything around me, the graveyard, the horror novels and the lights were all contributing to the perfect atmoshpere for nightmares but I still wonder something. Why were the lights flickering when the electrician said there was nothing wrong with the wiring or anything else? (0) Comments

In the spirit of Halloween Posted 10/30/2006 11:58:24 PM In the spirit of Halloween I will drop a few things I have learned over the years. Please keep in mind I don't want people going off half cocked and trying crap out only to get themselves spooked or even hurt. I just want to write a few things I have picked up here and there over the years. They aren't much, just little facts (and I use that word loosely) I have collected. 1/ When you move into a new home and you see that the previous owner/tenant has left all the mirrors behind then they may beleive in an old superstition. Some beleive that to bring a mirror with you when you move is a bad idea because spirits use it as a way to travel. Most of these people have either been raised with that belief or have had some experiences in that home to make them look up such beliefs. If you take the mirror you take the spirit and that is alright if the spirit is good. I do want you to keep this in mind, if good spirits can travel that way, so can the bad ones. 2/ Black candles are sometimes used to attract spirits to seances but a better colour candle to have is white in order to attract the good ones. Please do not hold a seance without a professional or unless you have researched this thoroughly. I am superstitious and I wouldn't do it. Who knows what ghoulies can arive for such an occasion. 3/ If you suspect that you may have a spirit in your home you can test for it using an piece of paper, a pencil/pen and a small coin(No loonies or twoonies they are too heavy. Nothing bigger than a quarter) I have heard that if you have a pure gold, silver or copper coin it may help but of this I am not certain whether it will help. What you do is put the paper up somewhere, where no one can bump into it or even notice it. Then take the coin and place it in the middle of paper and trace a circle around it with the pencil/pen. Make sure the tracing is perfect and tight against the edges and don't remove the coin. Leave the paper and traced coin there for a night or a few days, however long you feel is good. When you go back and notice the coin has moved out of the circle you traced, then you have a spirit or some one who wants to make fun of you and scare the shit out of you. 4/ To prevent spirits from coming into your home keep violets in every corner in your home. They say (whoever they are) that repells spirits. 5/ To remove a spirit from your home you need a broom(preferrably besom but any broom will do) and some inscence. Do this as the moon is wanning (getting smaller) and start sweeping from one end to the other, toting your pile of spiritual energy with you wherever you go. When you get to the main entrance to your home, sweep backward like you are pissed off at the "spirit/s" then hold up the broom and shake it three times into the wind, turning it counterclockwise and say "Spirits fly with the wind; be banished from my way." Then place the inscence in the middle of your house and lite it, I imagine that sweetgrass may do the trick in place of inscence but I am not sure. I remembered that one from a book of spells I bought as a teenager and no, I do not profess to being a spell caster or a witch or anything else. I just liked to read about strange things. I have no idea why that one stuck. 6/ This one is for all those people who want to dream of their true love but at first I will give you a warning. Never cast a spell foolheartedly. I read somewhere that if you do something to harm another or change their path in life it is supposed to come back to you three fold. This one isn't bad but I still write it with caution. Go to an ash tree and pluck a sprig and say "Oh sacred ash I pluck thee for this night my true love to see" then stick it under your pillow and you are supposed to dream of your true love. Well, there you have it, a few tidbits from things I have picked up over the years. Now before anyone starts branding me a witch I will tell you this: I have nothing against witches, it is their choice of religion but I personally am not a witch. I am catholic but do not beleive in going to church, for personal reasons, but I do beleive in God. I have faith that he exists and bare no malice towards anyone with any other religion. I beleive to each their own. I just wrote this stuff in the spirit of Halloween, my favorite holiday, for others to read and have a little fun. I hope whoever is reading this enjoyed it. Happy Halloween All (0) Comments

A Passing Thought Posted 10/20/2006 7:07:24 PM I watched the first Hellraiser, a movie I searched for, for a long time and loooooved it. While I was watching the credits I thought that some one out there must have been scared shitless by it. I mean, what in hell scares people? I have a couple of things that scare me, spiders, being the first of them. Godamn gangly, hairy, viscious-looking bastards keep trying to cacoon themselves in my apartment and I just can't kill the little fuckers fast enough. I watched arachniphobia and, no shit, I would jump up from my couch on certain parts and scream while trying to brush these imaginary creepy ass crawlies. Eeeeeew, frig! Gives me the creeps now. There are a lot of things that scare people for some its the things that can possibly happen or are real. What I am interested in is what nightmares people have, things they have dreamed up in their minds that really make them want to piss their pants. I remember, as a child, I would have terrible nightmares. I would wake up and when I finally had the guts to scream for my mother, nothing but air came out of my mouth, barely a whisper, of "mom!". I still to this day, have awful nightmares, more awful when I just have them than in the morning. I get up to have a cigarette and have to get my hubby to come with me. I know, "Na na na na na na, Ch-ch-ch-chicken shit! Ha ha" Well, I would like you to be in my place when you dream of these things. Try dreaming of a creature so real you can feel their breath on your neck and are paralyzed, unable to completely wake up. Yup, that bad, and they get worse when I write a lot, I feel if it scares me it will put the chills into others too. I don't always remember these dreams. Some nights I remember up to five dreams but others, nothing. Of course, that is everyone. It's those ones, the ones that really bother me, the freaky ones, those are the ones, no matter how terrified I am, that interest the hell out of me. I love to hear about other peoples nightmares too. I know, that's just freaken strange, but not so strange when you know I love to write horror. I was so interested in dreams and nightmares I looked up how to interpret them. All you have to know for a basic analysis is this example: Two sisters, lets say twins, dream of a black cat. For one it is a bad omen and for the other a good one. Why? Because the one twin is frightened of cats whereas the other loves them. That's it, all that is needed for a very basic interpretation. All that aside, what I keep thinking of is what really scares a person. Spiders is my reality based fear.(almost right? I mean they are just bugs, aren't they?) The supernatural based fear I have is of demons and soul possession. I watched a show on stigmata and they said that for those who prayed constantly of receiving stigmata made themselves vulnerable to demon possession, uuuuuuuugh, I hate that! They also said if you thought of such things too much then, BANGO! Pea soup. This almost puts a kink into my preferred genre of writing don't you think? lol Not really, I have only written a few on that subject(and variations) and didn't even dream of it that night, not that I believe it is possible, but it still scares me to think of it. (Too funny). Back to the point, what scares people? This is something I would love to hear. All I now is that I squashed a spider earlier and the little buggars are coming in here from the cold. Did you know the average Canadian will ingest three spiders a year, in their sleep? I think it's three, I learned this a long time ago so three might be the wrong amount but I do know we do swallow the hairy things. We do! Doesn't that make you want to tape your mouth shut at night? Sweet dreams(maniacal laughter) he he he (0) Comments

Adventures in chicken pox!!He's got the f***king chicken pox!! God help me Posted 10/14/2006 5:19:43 PM My son just started going back to daycare, he's three years old so he's in what they call "The Preschool Room" and what do "The Teachers" have to say to me one day? Well, one of them comes up to me and asks me if my son had the chicken pox already because it's going around. I thought he had, I mean, one day when he was one he had a fever, was always sleeping and had little tiny pitons(french word) all over his body. So being a new mom still, naturally, I assumed it was chicken pox and didn't see the need to take him to the doctors. Actually, in all reality, I was nervous as shit and wanted to run to that doc's office and demand a cure but my family said not to worry and that it would be stupid if I went for such a little thing. I swear, my parents never took you to the doctors unless your head was hanging from a small flap of skin connected to your neck and I think the others agreed...lol. So for my kiddo, no doctors visit, just a diagnosis over the phone. That's what I told the teacher, he had them and I thought I was home free. Yeah, and I am going to pull a fucking gold brick out of my ass and live rich for the rest of my life! No, not me. Four days after she warns me, he gets tired a lot, then for the next two days, off and on, a fever. Still, I don't think it is the freaking chicken pox. No, we're eating supper on the fourth night and I see them, three "pimples" and thought to myself, better keep an eye on those fucking things. Then a half and hour later I notice there are two more of them on his neck that weren't there before (they may have been there and didn't notice them but highly unlikely. I scanned, by eye, everywhere that wasn't covered with clothes and saw nothing). Not only were there two new ones but these ones look like large blisters. That's it for me, I call my good ole mom and she agrees, chicken pox. "Stick him in the bath with some Aveeno" she said "Already ahead of you Ma" I replied. Now, as most people know, when that stuff is in the bath, it doesn't look pretty, just pretty...well, if you didn't know better, it looked like it needed to be boiled before drinking (don't even go there, YUCK! No one, especially me, would ever drink bath water. I personally don't take baths because all you are doing is soaking in your own dirt. When I do, I shower after, and very thouroughly). My son had no idea what to think and I just tell him it's ok, that's what it's supposed to look like but he gave me a look like "What the?Are you fucking kidding me mommy?". I let him play in the bath as long as he could stand then it came time for the calamine lotion. He was totally lost. I should tell you, at the time of the great chicken pox assumption I had a choice between the clear stuff and the pink and out of sheer hilarity I chose the pink. Damn straight I did! I remember being covered in pink polka dots and couldn't wait for my kiddo to have the same embarassement I did. It was just too funny to pass up. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face. The first time he was too young to notice but this time I hit the jackpot. He was complaining about how cold it was, (that I felt bad for him about,just a little) and then when I was done applying the pink goo he looked it the spots in horror and started panicking for a face cloth. No shit he whined, "Mommy, face cloth" and I chuckled at the look on his face because I knew, that was the same look I had on my face when my mother did it to me. She chuckled at me then and now I was chuckling at my little boy. He didn't like that very much so I stopped chuckling until he found something to occupy himself with and I chuckled to my hubby. The next day, today, I set it up for him to go see the doctor, (this time I was going to be sure) and that's when my hubby looks at me with a worried expression. He says to me in a tiny little voice, "You really think he has them?" I laughed and told him that I did and asked him "What? You didn't think I was sure til now?"..."What will happen to me if I didn't have them?" he asked. That was it, I just about shit that gold brick. I told him what happened to adults when they got chicken pox and he got a panicked look on his face. I knew then, he wasn't sure he had them but all that crossed my mind is "great, I am going to have a baby with the chicken pox and my son having it as well. Just great." So, here I am, running from my computer to the baby, checking up on him and then running to my son's room to give him multiple glasses of water or gingerale to settle the stomache. Isn't that just freaking phenomenal? Anybody else want to take over? Just the big baby, the little boy is easy to take care of. Any takers? (0) Comments

Beginnings Posted 10/8/2006 8:05:48 PM Beginnings As the seed is introduced into the earth, Two people meet. As its roots burrow deep into the soil, A friendship is built. As the stem pushes its way through to the sun, A relationship grows. As the red petals stretch gracefully in the mornings dew, Love is exposed...but, unlike the rose, love never wilts away. That was from an anthology called Beyond The Horizon. It was copywrited by the Library of Congress and published in 1998 by The National Library of Poetry. The person who wrote that was me. I wrote it when I was fifteen and revamped it when I was nineteen to send to a competition where I got the Editiors Choice Award. Sounds great huh? I will say this much about the poem itself, I think, as I did back then, that it sounds very high school. As for the the copywrite, I am sure that is real and The National Library of Poetry...well, a few years later they asked me to write another for the millenium anthology they were publishing and they were called The International Library of Poetry. I honestly don't know whether they are real or a hoax. I have the book sitting beside me , next to my keyboard and I still find myself wondering if it is a real place. What I suspect is that everyone who didn't place might have gotten what I have received for this piece, an Editors Choice Award...lol. My father is the one who brought it to my attention when I was nineteen. He told me they probably put it in there because I payed to have a copy of the book. He probably was right, so when I saw the name of the Library of Poetry go from National to International I laughed, wrote a poem, sent it and didn't ask to buy a copy of their millenium anthology. I am not hurt by any of it. I just find myself looking back at it fondly as a lesson in experience and laugh from time to time. I enjoyed the whole experience, even if it probably was a scam. I just loved showing my friends a book with my poem in it and seeing the looks on their faces when they read my name. When I realized it was most likely a scam and I told them about it, they said they didn't care, it was good anyways. I can't shake the feelings of insecurity about my poem, to me it really is immature but then again I was nineteen, I was still a teenager...lol. Even with those feelings I am still happy I wrote it and that is where I come to the point in this whole blog: When you love something, really love it, it doesn't really matter what other people think. If it makes you feel good to express yourself either by writing, art or anything at all, no matter what, go for it. I may never get published with my fiction or my poetry and there was a time that mattered to me but now I do it for me. It is me I write on those pages, my dreams, ideas and feelings are there and expressing that makes me feel whole. I have had people , in the past, tell me to give it up and I am glad I told them to go to hell. (0) Comments

Okay! That's it! Posted 10/4/2006 11:21:24 PM This is something I wrote on another site. I am not advertising for that site but this is one of my favorite blogs. I was is a funny state of mind while writing it and was in search of a few chucks. I have edited it accordingly as to make sure there is no advertising for this other site. I hope you enjoy. I do hope this is appropriate, I am new to this site and I am hoping that some of the things I say in this won't offend anyone or get me into trouble for that matter. If anyone who reads it is offended then I appologize right now, just drop me a comment letting me know that you are offended and I will remove it. Again, not my intention to offend anyone, sorry in advance if it does. Okay! That's it! I have recently had an experience. This experience had happened to me before. The first one happened years ago when I was going to Arnprier via bus to meet an old friend. While on my way, I got to chatting with a passenger. He seemed fine. We played a few games like "sos" and silly stuff like that. Even though he had a silly selection of games to play, he still seemed okay. At the time I was seventeen and he was twenty-seven(I think) so the games part had me thinking he was a bit immature. That's all it appeared to be, immaturity, I wasn't expecting what had happened. As the ride went on he made a pass at me, I told him I wasn't interested and that I had a boyfriend. He said that was okay with him, I said that it wasn't with me. He backed off for about three seconds then asked me to put my hand on his crotch, I said no thank you and that I really loved my boyfriend. He finally left me alone, said he was cold and put a sweater on his lap. (Did I mention we were sitting in the same seat?) After three minutes something out of the corner of my eye was moving and when I looked at his lap there was movement under the sweater. I thought to myself, Please God, let him not be doing what I think he is doing? Of course, I wasn't that lucky. He tells me to look at something and I stupidly did so... I will say this much, he wasn't circumcized. The bus driver then came on over the speakers saying that we had twenty minutes to go into the restaurant or have a cigarette. Being thankful, I darted out of my seat and tried booking it outside for a smoke again praying to God, Please let him be a non-smoker? ( I think God had it in for me that day.) Not only did the guy smoke but he wanted one of my cigarettes! I handed him the cigarette and stood right outside the bus door. Now, earlier in our conversation he had asked me where I was off to and I just told him I was off to see a friend. So when he was outside, standing next to me, I thought that the only thing that might scare him off was to be more nuts than him. I told him that the reason I was going to see my friend was because she had this guy that was harrassing her and that I was going there to teach him a lesson. I started raving on about how his ass was grass and saying weird shit that made no sense but none of it worked.(Of course it was a lie and don't ask me why I thought for one second that would work. I was still a chittlin and felt like I had been put on the spot.) He asked me if I wanted a little more privacy to talk with him behind the bus. I ignored what he said and continued to rant until I was done my cigarette. I went inside and sat in my own seat He sat behind me and asked if I wanted to play more games. I thanked him but told him I had some knitting to catch up on.(I don't know why I was knitting, I was terrible at it...lol) He left me alone for the time being. After about an hour I got hungry and was afraid to eat the chips that were in my bag. I just knew he would ask me for some and I didn't want anything to do with the perve. Eventually my hunger got the best of me and I pulled out the bag as quietly as possible making sure not to crinkle while I ate. Again God had played a joke on me, the guy asked for some. I insisted that they were salty and he insisted that he loved salty foods. I tossed him a few and put the bag away. I was telling the truth about them being salty, I really needed a sip from the pop in my bag. This time I tried a different approach, I yanked out the pop and started drinking it as fast as I could. Then all of the sudden I feel his hot breath on my ear, whispering "Just trying to make your drinking experience pleasurable, can I have a sip?" I told him I was sick and he didn't want what I had, he said it didn't bother him. Being desperate, I reached in my purse and pulled out a bottle of medication. I lied to him saying that I had mono and that it was time for me to take my meds. It didn't work and he nagged for a sip anyways. By this time my patience had ran out. I drank just about the whole can then silently hocked into it and handed him the pop. He said it hit the spot. Now, anyone would hate that kind of experience. It is a violation of a persons right to live a pervert free life. When the guy had shown me his uncircumcized member I wanted to convert him right then and there... forget that! The SOB really needed to become a eunuch! Now recently I have run into a version of that same freaking pimp-on-my-ass right here on (bleep) Like I really needed to read about some guy's pronoghraphic-watching, fantasizing, pitiful rear-end. I had told a friend about this experience and he asked me if I had a come back. I didn't then but I do now. For all you shit people that are magnetically attracted to me: I have recently procured a shit filter. So if you really want to share your thoughts about your miniscule manlyhood and aspirations for its recent future, you might as well just go looking for some other woman. This one is not interested in what you have to think or say, infact, don't even bother any other woman with your crap because I am sure they too have procured a shit filter of their own. Well, there you go, it's vulgar and again I apologize to those who may have been offended. It really is my favorite though, it is something I have always wanted to say to the perverts of the world. Just say the word and it is gone, kaputs, finito, discapeared(yes, I meant to mispell dissapear). I hope that at least anyone who is reading this did find it a little humorous. Well, ciao for now peoples. (1) Comments

My fear of spiders owed to my oldest friend Posted 10/3/2006 7:39:07 PM I owe my fear of spiders to my oldest and arachniphobic friend. It happened one day at her parents friend's house on the lake. We were given the privelidge to paddle out on an innertube(the kind towed behind boats) that was tied to one of the docks. The water was cold but none of that bothered us. As far as we were concerned, we got to pretend it was summer for just a while longer. After having our fun on the lake we paddled back to the docks and found the most horrifying intruder waiting by the rope's knot. Until then we had assumed that spiders in Canada were no bigger than a quarter but the one we saw was the infamous dock spider. It was black, huge, fat and hairy with the longest, pointy legs a spider could ever have. She was the first to let out a scream then I screamed, then she, then me and back and forth while we paddled away for our lives from the man-eating creature. While crying we came up with a plan to paddle to the neighbors and hike through the bush, in our bare feet, back to the docks. Of course when we got there I wanted to leave the damn tube right where it was but my friend kept picturing the grounding she would get for not puting it away. Again we came up with another brilliant plan. We went to the dock shed, got a buch of life jackets and layed them down on the dock as a path to the rope. There weren't enough so when we reached the end of the jackets we retrieved one from the back of our path to place at the end furthering our progress. Why it didn't occur to us that the bloody spider could still jump up and eat our feet until we got to the rope is beyond me, but here we were, bringing in the tube and untying the rope while the other kept watch for the nasty monster. Eventually we got the tube in and made our way back, again using our life jacket method, then tossed every thing back into the shed. I can't remember what we said when we got back up to the house but I am sure that, whatever it was, it was crafty, even if it was not needed. Anything to not get grounded. Now you may be wondering "Why in hell is she writing this?" Well, here it is. I have had a few and for some reason my mind travelled back to the birth of my fear of spiders and in this state something like that is fond and funny. I just felt like showing a bit of my past because these incidents are what molded me to be the spider fearing, buzzed woman I am today. I hope you enjoyed that little glimpse into my past :-) (0) Comments

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General Comments fusionstar Posted 10/12/2006 3:35:21 AM Good Morning :) Just stoppin by to wish good luck and have a great day! imnpink Posted 10/4/2006 7:21:42 PM Horrors and horrors fear is a great twist to the mind...it makes your heart beat and the taste in your mouth change..it is excitement. go for it! Feed on the fear DEVON Posted 10/4/2006 6:21:02 PM yah im doing great just having fun and yah nice to meet you to and stuff DEVON Posted 10/3/2006 8:35:11 PM yah welcome Please login to post a comment.