Moving

Hey all. I know I just joined a few weeks ago, but I'm about to move back to Xanga. I don't like the feel of NewBlog. So if you like, you can check me out at http://www.xanga.com/MouseBoots (1) Comments

Posted: 8/7/2006 5:45:15 PM

Brian!

OMFG I'm going to kill you!!! If you ever get online and you ever go onto my MySpace && just so happen to find this link, I am going to kick your goddamn ass!! I really hope you know how much you're scaring us! We may have had a falling out, and I may have told you I hated you, but you know I don't. You're always going to be like a brother to me. And if you ever read this, please, come home! Don't do this to us. We're here for you. I love you kid. Don't fucking do this again. (0) Comments

Posted: 8/7/2006 4:08:27 PM

Alright guys

Joe is gone. It didn't work out apparently. But now I'm going to take a break. My guy days are over for now. My senior year is about to start, and I need to have fun without being tied down. Even though I love having a boyfriend and being in a relationship. For 9 months, I'm done. And if I stray from the path I'm setting for myself, I want you guys to kick me in the ass!! I might have a job interview at Pamida this Thursday or Friday. And I for sure have a job interview at Kohls on Saturday. I am very excited. If I get the job at Kohls, forget about Pamida. I've always wanted to work at Kohls and now that they are opening the new one in Lapeer it's my chance to get in there right! Well I'm off to be bored and do things that boring people do Lol. (0) Comments

Posted: 8/7/2006 3:31:41 PM

And then it falls apart again

So my world falls apart again. This time.. I don't know what he felt, but I know what I felt. Sort of. But the past week was amazing. He even admits it. He still tells me he wants to be with me. But Tyler had to come home and ruin it all. He had to tell us we can't be together. He doesn't want me "fucking his friends." But we'll be together if it's meant to be right? And Tyler can't stop that... (0) Comments

Posted: 8/6/2006 2:15:26 PM

RIP Zane Russel Treadway Aug 22, 89 - Aug 05, 05

"Slipped Away" Na na, na na na, na na I miss you, miss you so bad I don't forget you, oh it's so sad I hope you can hear me I remember it clearly The day you slipped away Was the day I found it won't be the same Ooooh Na na na na na na na I didn't get around to kiss you Goodbye on the hand I wish that I could see you again I know that I can't Oooooh I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly The day you slipped away Was the day I found it won't be the same Ooooh I had my wake up Won't you wake up I keep asking why And I can't take it It wasn't fake It happened, you passed by Now you are gone, now you are gone There you go, there you go Somewhere I can't bring you back Now you are gone, now you are gone There you go, there you go, Somewhere your not coming back The day you slipped away Was the day i found it won't be the same noo.. The day you slipped away Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh... Na na, na na na, na na I miss you (0) Comments

Posted: 8/1/2006 10:48:37 PM

Her Love Life: Him && Her Go Together

"If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours to keep" I never knew who said that, or if that quote is even exactly right, but it is so true. I'm not going to say his name, because it seems that when I do, I jinx myself. Well..I believe I was 10 when I met him. Somewhere around that age. Anyways. He was adorable. Gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful blonde hair. It was lust at first sight. Soon enough, we were "boyfriend and girlfriend", ya know, that cute stuff that you did when you were 10. He was adorable. But that was the first and last day I ever saw him. And then Tyler came into my life. Good ol Ty Ty. I was talking to the faithful best friend one day and he brought up this kid. He said "Do you know *** *****??" I said "Um, no, should I?" and Tyler explained to me how I knew this young man. I had totally forgotten about him. Until that day. I looked him up on MySpace..and his babydoll face stared back at me from my glowing monitor. He looked the same. Those blue eyes, that blonde hair...breath taking. But I quickly forgot about him, I was in a relationship with Tyler at the time. I added my lost friend to my MySpace, and left it at that. 3 days ago, I was feeling a bit blue, and my friend got online. I talked to him for the first time in awhile. And we agreed to hang out. Having him in my home felt...right. Something just felt right. We hung out, watched tv. And that was it. And today, I went to his house. Amazing. The kisses were perfect. Just as I had imagined. The way he held my chin in his hand. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. But I didn't. He stopped. And layed his head down on the pillow. I joined him. He moved closer, wrapped his arm around my waist, and he pressed his nose slightly against mine. And we rested. He told me he could fall asleep in that spot. Not because he was tired, just because he was so comfortable laying with me. So you can't tell me, that this isn't going to last. We talked about dating, he said he wanted to see how his football goes, and how work is. He works a lot, which is good, and he's really into football, which starts next week. I agree, I don't want to be an annoyance to him while he's trying to concentrate on both football and work. I would get in the way when he wanted to rest, I would bother him. So, right now we're friends. Good friends. And I'm actually okay with that. God I hope this works..please.. (0) Comments

Posted: 8/1/2006 9:49:38 PM

Tyler

Oh Ty Ty... My lovely lovely Ty Ty... 3 years. Jeez, it's been so damn long. And you are still there for me. You may not give the bset advice in the world..fuck you don't give advice at all..but just hearing "It'll be okay" come out of your mouth, makes everything okay. Because when you say it, you know it's true. Is this the way best friends are supposed to be? The real kind I mean? Not the "met for five minutes say you're best friends" kind of best friend. I think we've known each other for long enough to be classified as that. Don't you think? Love. What is it? Do you know? No, you don't, you can't even give advice let alone answer that kind of question. But really. Is love when you can call someone your brother? Your sister? Is it when you can ask for a porno without flinching, laughing, or blushing? Because you seem to do that all too well. But I still love you. Love. There it is again. I have no idea how I love you. I mean, in what way? Am I in love with you? No, I can't say that I am. Do we have a family love? No, we haven't seen each other in years. Can it really be as simple as a friendship love? I can't stand to think that is all we have worked for in the past three years. Happy anniversary my friend. It's been three years of a happy and healthy friendship. I love you!!! (0) Comments

Posted: 7/29/2006 11:21:55 PM

What to be? What to do? Who to be?

12 grade. Senior year. Shit. Fuck. Dammit. I remember when I was 12 and I looked up to those high schoolers I passed on the sidewalk everyday walking to/from school. I wanted to be them so badly. Back in the boy band craze. I thought I was going to be so cool, have amazing friends. This is where the "wrong answer" buzzer comes in. High school is hell. I have no idea why I'm still there. Probably because I know I have to get my diploma to go anywhere in life. My plan used to be "Marry rich, die happy"...yeah...Buzzer. Before school ended I went to a meeting for Baker College. I really enjoyed it. The school seems like what I want, what I need. The programs are things that I'm good at...but not things that I want to do. I'm very involved in computers, internet, and technology. Baker is based on Technology, and business. I decided to sign up for a one on one meeting with an advisor. I went to this meeting, and she told me everything I needed to know. She helped me pick classes, told me how to opt out of some classes, and how to apply for financial aid. But now I'm thinking...do I really want to be in business? Am I cut out for it? I know nearly every college student changes their major at least once in their college careers...but I don't want to be like them. I'm in this for the long run. If I'm going to college for General Business...that's what I'm going to major in. I don't want to waste money. My mind is going everywhere these days. In one year I'm going to be an adult. I'm going to be working full time, hopefully looking forward to college in a month. I just hope I'll be working as well as my cousin Nicole. She's so succesfull...and after only 2 years. One year. I'll be an adult. Shit. Fuck. Dammit. (1) Comments

Posted: 7/29/2006 6:35:29 PM

Andrew. I can feel your pain

My good friend Andrew had been dating a girl (Alyssa) for 7 months now. Alyssa went to Florida for a week. She's still gone, hasn't been quite a week yet. She hasn't called him in 3 days. He calls everyday, leaves a message everyday. I wish I could just...reach out to him and tell him it'll be okay. She answers when I call. But how do I tell him that? I feel so bad..I just want to cry. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I can't do anything for him. I want to make his world perfect. He is perfect. She shouldn't be with him. She doesn't deserve him. He can do so much better. ...Andrew... You try so hard to convince yourself it's going to be okay. But for some reason..this time..I don't think it will be okay. Three days..it's longer than before. This doesn't feel right babe. You don't deserve this pain. You deserve to be happy. A king. This feels so...A Walk To Remember...All I can do is sit here and watch. I don't even get to share the last days with you. Only and Alyssa and I know..but it's enough isn't it? To know that your secret is out there? You don't deserve this Andrew. I'm going to miss you..so much. Watching this is so heart breaking. To see her killing you. She doesn't care. She has no heart. She knows Andrew! And she doesn't care. She doesn't care that you're dying, and that she is the only person you want to be with on that day. She doesn't fucking care!! I'm fighting a losing battle...you will never see will you? (0) Comments

Posted: 7/28/2006 11:25:28 PM

I really do hate my mom

Ever since I was little, my mom has wanted to be a big part in my life. I understand that. But I hate when people butt into my life without me asking them to. When I was little, it was okay. But now that I'm older, I just want her to leave me alone. And she doesn't get it. She prys into my life so much that I just want to leave. When I'm in school, she goes into my room and looks through everything. I know she does it because she feels left out of my life, but that's not the way to get into it. I'm the kind of person that doesn't respect someone, unless they respect me back. My mother has never respected me. Never. And I don't feel the need to be close to someone that can't respect what I do. Today she called me a slut, and said a bunch of really mean shit to me. That hurt a lot. You're mom isn't supposed to say that. But what really upset me today was about my cell phone that I've been saving up for. She told me she would help me sell things we don't use anymore. She helped me sell my game boy stuff, and I got a good bit of money from it. So I called my dad today and asked him if I could sell the games we don't play anymore. He said it was fine. My parents are all for me getting rid of my old stuff to get something new that I will actually use. Well, my mom and I were arguing, as usual, and she said something along the lines of "I don't know why you're saving up for this stupid phone because I'm not signing a contract!" And that really bothered me. She knows how much I want this phone and she's been helping me get to it for a really long time. She decided to apologize an hour later, but me being me, I didn't accept it. She always apologizes and just assumes that saying "I'm sorry" is going to make me happy again. Now she's trying to say she's going to buy me the phone when my dad gets his new job. But I don't want her to. Because the point of me buying the phone is so that I learn the responsibilty of having my own phone, and paying my own bill. Why does she always do this stupid shit? I don't ever talk to her about any of my problems. I talk to my friends about them, and post blogs and write in journals. I hate talking to her about things becuase she never understands. She tries to say she will, but I've learned not to even bother because she always gets mad at me and starts a fight. I don't really care if it bothers her either, because I hate arguing with her about my life. She told me that when my dad gets his new job, she's taking me to a councelor. I've told her countless times before that taking me to an old man that thinks he knows me, is not going to do anything. I really want to see her try to get me to talk to this guy. I want to see her waste all of that money to drive me down into the city, and pay this man by the hour for me to sit there and stare at him. I would honestly get a kick out of it. She needs to learn that it's my life. Not hers. I can't wait until the day I move out and she has no control over me anymore. Better yet, in 6 months when I can do whatever I want to my body and go wherever I want to go. That's going to be fun. (4) Comments

Posted: 7/28/2006 5:26:32 PM

Stupidity Thursday

Why does it always seem that when you fall head over heals for someone, they trample on your heart. I found out this morning that Cooper cheated on me. I was expecting it...but I kind of hoped he had changed. He's my best friend...I should have known better. And now we're barely speaking. I'm an idiot. And then I had to go and tell Tyler I still had feelings for him. That didn't blow over too well. But hey, he still has a physical attraction to me. Oh yay. Just what I needed. Another guy that wants to have sex with me. Woopdie frickedy doo. I've learned my lesson. Don't tell guys what you're feeling. Even if they say they want to hear it. Because chances are, things aren't going to turn out the way you hoped they would. Those are my thoughts for Stupidity Thursday. Good night. (2) Comments

Posted: 7/28/2006 12:50:36 AM

Cooper

My best friend. I always said best friends should never date for fear that they would ruin the friendship they worked so hard to build. But for you, I make an exception. Those words last night were...breath taking. I haven't known you as long as usual best friends have known each other. But it was long enough to know, you are truly amazing. You were the only one there to help me up when I fell. And though we live too far to hold each other every night. Please understand that every night, before my eyes close, I am thinking of you. You are an angel. I love you. (1) Comments

Posted: 7/26/2006 7:52:53 PM

Best friends and boyfriends don't mix

Best friend: Josh "Boyfriend": Marvin (Cooper) So, Josh is my best friend...obviously. He's the best, best friend I could ever ask for. He cares about my feelings and helps me through things, and he even sings me stupid songs (even though he can't sing at all) just to make me feel better. Cooper, nicest, sweetest guy I've met in a long time. Excluding Corey of course. I like Cooper, a lot. And I really want to date him, but get to know him better before I do anythting. Well, Josh doesn't like Cooper. And Cooper doesn't like Josh. Problem!! Josh doesn't want me to date Cooper, and he said if I do date him, he's not going to talk to me when I'm with him. These are his exact words, "You're right, go date him, I'll see you back here in two weeks, single." That hurts. To know my best friend doesn't want me to be happy with a guy I really like. At this very moment, he isn't speaking to me. Why can't my friends just get along? Why can't my best friend just be happy for me and accept that I like someone he doesn't? I wish life was simpler. (1) Comments

Posted: 7/22/2006 11:17:04 PM

Who does this remind you of...

"Lips Of An Angel" Honey why are you calling me so late It's kinda hard to talk right now Honey why are you crying is everything okay I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud Well, my girl's in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on It's really good to hear your voice saying my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel It's funny that you're calling me tonight And yes I've dreamt of you too And does he know you're talking to me Will it start a fight No I don't think she has a clue Well my girl's in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on It's really good to hear your voice saying my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel It's really good to hear your voice saying my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel (And I never wanna say goodbye) But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel Honey why are you calling me so late (1) Comments

Posted: 7/22/2006 6:12:03 PM

Jason

I used to wonder "does he think about me at night before he goes to bed?" but I stopped long ago. I began to realize that after a year and a half he wasn't going to come back. But boy was I wrong. His girlfriend runs off to Minnesota with her "family", he finds out she's been cheating on him for four months, and he immediatly gets online and talks to me. The first thing I ask? "Did you think about me at all?" and his reply, "If I didn't, do you think I would have gotten back on here to tell you I love you?" Now if that doesn't melt a girls heart, I don't know what could. He was my first true love. And I know I will never forget that man. He may be 21, and I may only be 17, but love knows no age, and love knows no distance. I would do anything for this man, as I know he would do the same for me. He is an angel. (0) Comments

Posted: 7/22/2006 5:42:00 PM

Jay...or Coop?

Okay, so people that know me know that I'm interested in a guy named Cooper, and you know the storey behind that. Well...when I was 12 I met a guy named Jay. We dated for a really long time, he's about 4 years older than me (ack) but my parents loved him and everything like that. Well we fell apart on my 16th birthday (I'll be 18 in 6 months, that's how long I haven't talked to him). He started dating another girl and they've been together for a year and 3 months. Last night he got on MSN. Now I haven't talked to him in almost two years, so of course I freaked. I called him and we talked for an hour. It was very awkward, but fun at the same time. He told me how his girlfriend is cheating on him and he's leaving her when she gets back from Minnesota. He lives in Canada now, so there's no way I could really be with him again, but he's hinting towards it. He told me I had to move to Canada when I graduate and all of this stuff. And I still love him, of course I do, if I didn't I would hurt myself. But anyways. I know he would do a long distance relationship with me, because we had to do it before. It apparently didn't work though. So my question is, should I continue trying to get to know Cooper, or go back with the guy I know? This is really bothering me!!! (0) Comments

Posted: 7/22/2006 5:27:32 PM

Her Love Life: Dear Corey,

It's not that I love you. It's that I fell head over heals for you and I don't know how to pick myself back up. Everyone tries so hard to make me smile, to make me laugh just for two seconds. But it's too hard to make a real smile show. I can fake it well, I can pretend it's okay and that I don't love you anymore. But it's all a lie. You and I both know that. I've told you over and over that the love I have for you is more than you could ever imagine. More than anyone could ever imagine. Corey, you are the love of my life. The one that kept my heart alive everyday. You were the reason I woke up in the morning, just so I could hear your voice for ten minutes. And I stayed up every night so I could talk to you, and tell you how much I loved you. Every fucking night Corey. And even though you told me you "can't" I still think you can. Instead of staying up until midnight talking to you...now I stay up with one of your best friends, because nobody else can seem to get my mind off of you. He can't even do it, but he can ease the pain a ltitle by making me smile, and telling me that it will all be okay soon enough. And ya know what, I believe him. I believe every word he says. Why? I don't fucking know. I know I'm never going to get you back, but I still believe him. Do you know why? Because I FUCKING love you Corey! (1) Comments

Posted: 7/21/2006 2:17:23 PM

Her Love Life: Too hard to put into words...

When I think of him the worlds jumble in my head and my tongue forgets how to form words. I try so hard to explain the way I feel about him, the way my heart pounds at the sound of his name, and the way my palms get sweaty when I remember the way he would love me. And the memories, won't leave me alone. They haunt me. He's been everywhere, everything I touch, he touched, everything I do, he's done. I can't get away from the pain. Nobody can save me this time. Nobody. He tried to make it okay, he didn't try hard enough. Best friends don't make the pain diminish. They just help it grow, by letting me forget for a little while. And then, when I remember, I'm angry because I forgot. I forgot about him, and the way he made me smile, the way I laughed at his jokes, and his teasing..oh his teasing. The hands, and the...teasing. The tingles he sent shooting down my spine. And the love still grows, even though he's gone. Making it harder to breath with every second of every FUCKING day. Every morning I wake I realize that the love has grown by 10. And I go on, living my life without you, trying to pretend to be a happy girl. A rebel without a cause...just died. (1) Comments

Posted: 7/21/2006 1:41:44 PM

Her Love Life: Goodbye My Lover

Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? 'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun, Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won. So I took what's mine by eternal right. Took your soul out into the night. It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care. You touched my heart you touched my soul. You changed my life and all my goals. And love is blind and that I knew when, My heart was blinded by you. I've kissed your lips and held your hand. Shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you. [x2] Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I am a dreamer and when i wake, You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd be the father of your child. I'd spend a lifetime with you. I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine, And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you. [x2] Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. And I still hold your hand in mine. In mine when I'm asleep. And I will bare my soul in time, When I'm kneeling at your feet. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow. I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow. (0) Comments

Posted: 7/21/2006 1:25:15 PM